Hello everyone! I have not abandoned this story, it's just that I rewrite it at least 50 times because I am never satisfied with the outcome. So here it is, after months of editing. Let me know if the story is becoming too slow. And once again, I own nothing from any movie or game.
Solas' words kept replaying in my head in a continuous loop, their thinly veiled insinuation bothering me more than I cared to admit. I had intended to go back to my lodgings, shut the door, pull the bed covers over my head and wait for either sleep or morning to come. But instead, I found myself walking in the direction of the Chantry, knowing full well slumber would not be greeting me anytime soon. Besides, I found myself looking forward to these late night visits, particularly to the small treasure of a library inside. The frigid cold spurned me on as I continuously rubbed my arms under my cloak in a futile attempt to regain some warmth.
Still, no matter how hard I tried to block them out, his words remained. It's not as if we were friends or even acquaintances so technically I didn't owe him anything. Then why did this nagging, guilty feeling persist? In any other situation, I knew what I would have done, what any decent person would have done. But here, with everything such as it was, I wasn't so sure. Should I let him continue to think of me as just another prejudiced human or should I try to make some sort of amends? I knew any decision I made in haste could prove to be my undoing in the long run. It was a question I just couldn't answer right now.
A few more hurried steps finally took me to the front of the imposing stone structure. As I opened what I knew would be an unlocked Chantry, I winced as the wooden doors groaned violently, disturbing the stillness of the sleeping village. Peeking inside, I saw that I was alone which was a bit odd for there were usually soldiers stationed here. But I didn't waste time worrying about it since I didn't know enough about their patrols to be able to say if this was unusual. Easily enough, I ignored this and slowly made my way down the hall, glad for the glorious warmth emanating from the braziers slowly seeping into my frozen bones.
Once inside the library, I softly eased the door close behind me and approached the bookshelves, a feeling of contentment washing over me at the familiar sight and smell of their occupants. This was one of the few things here that reminded me of my old life. It was a sign of normality, an anchor in a world where strangeness was my new norm. Ignoring the sudden stinging in my eyes at the thought, I let my fingers lovingly trail alongside the books' spines, scanning for a title that would take my attention away from my mounting feeling of loss. Ever since I could remember, I was a voracious reader. Reading by candle light, on the other hand, was proving to be quite a challenge when one was used to the ease and luxury of electricity.
With a vigor I truly didn't feel, I continued my exploration. Eventually, a book entitled History of the First Blight caught my attention. So far, I had chosen to focus my reading around the early history of Thedas. It was a good a place as any to start to better understand this world and its history. But as I took the book out, a folded parchment paper silently fell to my feet. Frowning, I bent down to pick it up. There was no evident writing on the outside so it wasn't addressed to anyone. It was when I opened it that I saw some very unusual writing across the paper. It was unlike any alphabet I had ever seen. But really, what had I expected?
The longer I looked, however, the more the writing felt... wrong somehow. I don't know why or how I knew this but I instinctively was certain of it. My training automatically kicked in and I eventually concluded that there were in fact various alphabets at work here. Not a single one of the sentences was fully written in the same style, of that I was sure. Even without knowing what I was looking at, my eyes detected various changes in the shapes of many of the words as if each successive one was written in another language. The dense fluidity of one alphabet made way to geometrical, boxy letters which in turn switched to a style of writing that was stylistically somewhere between the previous two. It seemed to be an amalgamation of sorts purposefully written to resemble a puzzle.
I tapped my finger against my lips as I immediately got lost in concentration, my eyes feverishly scanning the letter's content over and over again. The longer I stared though, the more I felt myself zoning out as a feeling of intense deja vu washed over me. My sense of time disappeared as an intense impression of detachment overwhelmed my senses. From some distant part of myself, I felt my skin tingle as though I was being pricked by thousands of tiny needles, their intensity raw and chilling and yet painless. Oddly enough, the sensation brought with it an unexpected sense of calm that made me want to get lost in. For the first time in a few days, I felt at peace. It was like floating in an empty, comfortable void far away yet my eyes never left the paper in my hand.
Inexplicably, I began to feel the meaning of the words as they slowly swirled within my head, like a long forgotten memory tantalizingly on the verge of being remembered. Slowly, I could distinguish nouns from verbs, verbs from pronouns. The sudden realization of being able to translate the foreign words had the violent effect of snapping me out of the trance like state I found myself in. The sensation of returning to my body was extremely jarring and my muscles clenched painfully in response. But just as quickly, it was gone and replaced by such overwhelming exhaustion and nausea that I found myself fumbling for support. Luckily, my outstretched hands easily found the bookcase closest to me and I gratefully leaned onto it. I had to force myself to take deep and steady breaths instead of the wild, erratic ones my body was greedily screaming for. I bent over, my hands holding onto my knees as I tried to keep my breaths steady and deep, anything to keep myself from vomiting. What the hell was happening to me?
When the feeling of nausea finally passed, I shakily returned my attention to the paper and read the words before me as if it was the most natural thing in the world. If I hadn't been so tired, the fact that I could now read the words would have disturbed me far more that it did at that moment. Simply put, there was no point in trying to comprehend what had just happened because quite frankly, I didn't have the energy to deal with what this could mean.
At first, it appeared to be a list of some sort. It mentioned items, like an inventory list along with some locations around Haven. However, one sentence alone jumped out at me:
The Herald's last on the new moon. No more lies. The heretic shall speak no more.
That was eerily cryptic, I thought to myself. But a most unwelcome thought began to slowly creep its way inside my head, one that I didn't really want to contemplate. The heavy implication of what I held in my hands suddenly made me very uneasy. I frowned as I frantically searched my memory trying to remember if this was part of the original game, some forgotten side quest that I was just not remembering. Although if I was being honest with myself, I already knew the answer to that.
Stuffing the letter roughly back into the book in my hand, I quickly made my way out of the library not exactly sure what to do next. After all, what were the odds that I had just uncovered a potential assassination plot?
I must have stood in the vast empty hallway for a while, just staring at nothing, the very image of a dolt as my mind tried to think. Do I tell someone? Was this even a legitimate threat to the Herald? I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't notice or hear someone enter the Chantry. It was only when Solas stood within my immediate view that I finally registered his presence, with a start no less.
He was still dressed in his cloak but didn't carry his staff. Neither one of us said a word at first but eventually his silent and questioning stare got to me. I could tell he was patiently waiting for me to explain but I really didn't know where to begin. His keen eyes eventually came to rest on the book I held protectively against my chest.
"Interesting choice of reading material Evelyn," he said calmly yet with a hint of cynicism that he managed to pull off effortlessly. "Incidentally, might I inquire as to why you are standing in the middle of the Chantry with your mouth hanging open?" My jaw snapped shut audibly.
Trying to refrain from blushing, I managed to say in a voice far steadier than I had expected, "We have a problem."
The silence continued unbroken as the elven mage continued to observe me, his head tilting to one side as if saying go on talk, you ridiculous human.
I licked my lips and soldiered on. "It's just that... I think... that maybe..." Exhaling in frustration, I rubbed my forehead with my free hand, finding myself at a loss for words under Solas' unflinching grayish eyes.
Eventually, Solas must have taken pity on me and added somewhat helpfully and with a heavy sigh, "Very well. If something is weighing on your mind, perhaps it would be wisest to inform the advisers. After all, they are there to... advise in difficult matters," Solas added with a slight curve of his lips. Any other time, I would have laughed at such a pun but found myself just blinking owlishly up at him.
He must have sensed my reluctance to do anything and so silently gestured with his hand towards the door of the inner sanctum aka the war room and I felt my stomach drop to the ground. Just seeing that door made me want to bolt in the opposite direction. Damn it, but I knew he was right. If I didn't have so many misgivings about that note, I would have easily dismissed it and been in bed by now.
Before my brain could register what my mouth was saying, I heard myself utter, out loud no less, "Would you accompany me?"
Unexpectedly, I had the pleasure of seeing Solas' eyebrows shoot upwards as he genuinely looked shocked. Had circumstances been different, I would have taken great joy in surprising the elven god but right now I just really didn't want to face the advisers alone. And by advisers I meant Cassandra. That woman frightened me.
The tall mage cleared his throat a few times and merely answered, "If you wish." If I didn't know better, I'd say I had flustered him.
With a single nod, I turned and walked towards that dreaded room, relieved to hear Solas following behind me. Finally after what felt like eons, I mustered the courage to knock. I waited with bated breath, somewhat taking comfort in having someone accompany me, even if it was Fen'Harel.
Tensely, I half expected, half hoped for there to be no answer and was about to say so to Solas but he waited patiently. An eventual gruff enter was heard. Solas took this as an invitation and let himself in. Around the table were Leliana, Cassandra and Cullen. Josephine was noticeably absent. They all looked at us when we entered, none too pleased to see us.
They all waited as Solas and I remained silent. As if he sensed that I was not going to make the first move, Solas slightly advanced towards the large wooden table and linked his arms behind his back. "Forgive our late night interruption of what are surely important Inquisition matters, but Evelyn has something that she would like to discuss with you," he said getting straight to the point without much ado.
Gratitude would not have been a strong enough word to express what I felt at the moment. He didn't even know why we were here and yet had taken the plunge with me. But that initial feeling quickly turned to suspicion as I immediately wondered if his actions were simply a willingness to help or something more devious than that. A horrible thought dawned on me then: just how elaborate was his network of spies at this early stage of the game?
I had been using Solas' taller frame to hide me somewhat up til now so I had no choice but to step forward, feeling the eyes of everyone assembled hone in on me. I gulped slowly, doubt beginning to creep its way into my initial interpretation. They were probably going to dismiss what I said as foolish and irrelevant, the ravings of a madwoman.
"I'm probably overreacting," I began slowly, my eyes darting from one unimpressed face to another. Not a good start. The more I talked, the more I realized I had probably panicked for nothing and I was currently wasting everyone's time. "I was in the library and found a note that seemed ...unusual." As I opened my mouth to continue, Cullen quickly interrupted me as if already running out of patience with me.
"May I?" He extended one gloved hand over the large oak table between us. Silently, I removed the note from between the safety of the pages and handed it to him, noting the familiar scar above his upper lip at this close distance. I saw him read the phrases followed by a deep frown. Eventually, he glanced upwards through his lashes at me as if to say 'you have to be kidding me' and then returned his eyes to the paper.
After a few seconds of further silence, he asked with a hint of frustration evident in his voice, "Evelyn, what exactly am I reading?"
Cassandra joined him and read the letter over his shoulder. With a negative shake of her head, she said with a tone that shattered whatever confidence I had had up until that point, "I do not understand it either."
Solas finally spoke up as he moved closer to the table to stand next to me, "May I read it, Commander Cullen?"
Cullen visibly hesitated at first but eventually handed the letter over to the elven mage. Solas either pretended not to notice the wariness the Commander had momentarily shown or was simply accustomed to such reticence. It reminded me of how he had reacted to me around the fire. Although it made for an uncomfortable moment, this tense interaction had reminded me of Cullen's difficult past with mages. I couldn't hold it against him knowing why he had reacted that way. It was only when Cullen wordlessly handed the letter over that the elf finally dislodged his hands from his back and took the offered document. I turned my attention to Solas to see what he would say. At first his features remained impassive until finally, it was his turn to look puzzled. He looked at me with an unusual glint in his narrowed eyes.
"Well?" Cassandra's harsh tone broke the silence that had come over the room.
He turned his attention away from me and looked at Cassandra, his face schooled back to their regular, impassive features. "From what little crude elvish there is, I gather it is a threat on the Herald's life," Solas answered simply, as if the meaning did not bother him in the least. "It mentions soldier patrol routes and locations the Herald commonly frequents." The letter was returned to Cullen. Solas' attention once again returned to me, pinning me under that intense look. "You can read this?"
Meanwhile, Cullen and Cassandra both stared at Leliana in shock, completely ignoring Solas' last remark but not me. I had heard the slight change in his accented voice as if he had just realized a detail of great importance, one that I had evidently missed. Shit.
"Leliana! How could your spies miss this?" Cullen demanded, anger and horror evident in his tone as he threw the document unto the table. The spymaster fixed him with a leveled stare, not at all bothered by his accusation. I was sure lesser men had shriveled under that look. "We didn't, Commander," she answered in a clipped tone as she walked over to take the letter from where it lay. "We are very much aware of this threat. In fact," here her blue eyes pinned me down. "It was us who put the letter there." I got a horrible sense Leliana was angry.
"What?" said Cassandra as she frowned at the spymaster. I was glad she sounded as confused as I felt.
Leliana walked slowly around the large table towards me, her hard eyes boring into mine. It took everything I had not to back up against the weight of that glare. "We had 3 different translators compose this so our letter would fit this group's code and you were able to decipher it in mere minutes?"
Ah, there it was, what Solas had noticed and I had missed. My insides twisted coldly in alarm as I realized my mistake far, far too late. I should have kept my damn mouth shut and pretended I had not seen anything! Why did I have to meddle?
"So, you are saying that Evelyn not only somehow found your hidden letter but she did something that took the Inquisition the work of 3 people," Cassandra stated, summarizing the facts all too succinctly.
"Precisely," Leliana confirmed. "It took us a while to find the people with the necessary skills to aid us considering how rare knowledge of such languages is in this part of Thedas. That letter is written in Elvish, Dwarven and Tevene, all languages out of common use. Allow me to confirm to you that finding the necessary scholars in Haven was no small feat."
Well, I had officially fucked up. Either I had just inadvertently proven that I was hiding something, which technically I was, or that I somehow knew the code which made me suspicious just based off of that. Cassandra was glaring in my direction as if this finally confirmed her belief that I posed a threat.
"So," Cassandra continued. "We now have reason to believe Evelyn is not who she claims to be." I bet she was already envisioning throwing me back in the dungeon and losing the key.
"Hmm," Leliana said noncommittally. "We may have made a mistake in allowing her to remain so close to the Herald."
I tried to remain calm but it was becoming difficult when the horrible realization that I had nothing to prove my innocence with sunk in. Even if I ran now, I wouldn't get very far. The sense of being trapped was overwhelming. I don't know why but I looked at Solas for help but he merely observed me, his gaze not betraying any sentiment or sympathy. I averted my eyes to stare unblinkingly ahead of me, anywhere than at his open indifference. If I blinked now, the tears I was ferociously holding back would spill over.
"Alright," Cullen said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "We find ourselves in a precarious position." He had put one of his hands over the hilt of his sword, a force of habit he probably didn't realize he had. To an outsider like me, the pose served to accentuate his identity as a Templar, a true and veteran warrior. I gulped. "Let us start at the beginning Leliana, so everyone can follow."
His amber gaze slid to Solas and I wondered if he was about to ask him to leave. Wordlessly, he returned his attention to the spymaster, waiting for her explanation. But he remained silent, probably realizing that it was a bit too late to do so after all that transpired in the war room.
Before Leliana could begin her explanation, I quickly blurted out, "I'm a scholar! At my university in ...Rivendell -why had I picked this fictional city? It sounded so ridiculous in such a situation- I uhh... It's what I do... or rather did for a living!" I finished lamely
Cassandra grunt of disgust filled the silence after my unexpected exclamation. She was probably thinking that it was all a rather nice coincidence. The advisers looked carefully at one another as if assessing that what I said was worth any consideration.
"Explain," Leliana barked, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Simply put," I answered, wringing my sweaty hands together. A nervous tick I had never been able to get rid of. "My specialty lies in languages, specifically those that have fallen out of use, extinct more or less. I basically just translate ancient texts into common tongue." There, that wasn't so much of a lie as it was a vague explanation of the truth. They didn't need to know that the dead languages I knew weren't from Thedas. Although this apparently now applied to this world as well. Again, I had to force myself from obsessing over this new terrifying development.
"And we are supposed to believe you based on your word?" Cullen asked skeptically.
"No," I replied. "Based on the fact that I was able to translate the letter."
"Fair point," Cullen conceded slowly.
"I still find it odd." Cassandra said. "Why haven't you mentioned this before?"
"It didn't seem important since scholars are so rarely needed in times of war."
"Coincidence does not make one guilty, fortunately," Solas added, almost as an afterthought.
"Let us assume for one moment that Evelyn did find it by chance. Where does that leave us right now?" Cullen asked Leliana. "Considering the Herald came into existence not even a week ago, how organized do you believe this group to be?"
"Not very. From the way they communicate with each other, it speaks more of their level of education rather than actual assassination experience. Still, we couldn't take the risk and ignore it."
The seeker seemed to ponder this. "Was the letter being watched?"
"There are always eyes in the shadows, Cassandra, but they evidently did not consider Evelyn could have the letter in her possession, if that is what you are alluding to."
From the corner of my eyes, I felt Solas scrutinizing my face. I tried not to fidget under his gaze and kept my eyes firmly fixed on Leliana.
"We can make this work in our favor," the spymaster suddenly pronounced, her blue eyes shining as they took on a very intense quality. "Evelyn, follow me."
Not really having a choice, I did as I was ordered, only turning around once to see if Cassandra or Cullen would object. No such thing happened and I slightly relieved that I didn't have to remain there undergoing further questions or accusations. But I couldn't stop berating myself. Not only for getting so involved in Inquisition matters after I had decided to be an inconspicuous as possible but also for greatly underestimating Solas. He was too sharp and far too intelligent to easily be mislead by my feeble lies. I knew now that I had to truly watch my back around him. Somehow I just knew that out of everyone in Haven, he was the least convinced by my stories.
"I have heard of your disastrous attempts around Haven," the spymaster started mercilessly, her pace keeping her ahead of me while I trailed behind.
"I wouldn't necessarily say it's as bad as to call it disastrous," I replied, wincing internally. Thank you Varric for your unnecessary embellishments.
"Nevertheless," she continued, seemingly ignoring my last statement. "You are having difficulty in finding your place here." That was putting it mildly.
"I might have a proposition for you, Evelyn." She stopped in front of the library door and turned around to face me and I almost bumped into her. I couldn't help but stare as the light of the burning braziers cast eerie shadows around her hooded face. As she stood there, her eyes shifted somewhere behind me and suddenly I heard footsteps coming closer. With a sharp intake of breath, I quickly twirled around expecting an attack. There was not one but two soldiers approaching us. They were clothed in simple dark clothes with only a small dagger at their waist. Before I could yell out, they positioned themselves on either side of the door. It finally dawned on me that these were probably the eyes that Leliana mentioned. I looked back at Lady Nightingale with a new appreciation. Wordlessly, she left the men to guard the door and entered the library.
The spymaster seated herself regally behind the desk Josephine usually occupied as she began, "To put it simply, we are at war on all sides. We need any advantage we can get to aid our cause for the sake of all Thedas. The Inquisition is only at its infancy and Maker knows any blow now has the potential to undo all our efforts. It is why I think we can find a way to put your linguistic talents to use for us."
If she had grown a second head right now, I would still not be as surprised as I was at hearing those words It would be naive of me to think that she was doing this out of the goodness of her heart. One thing was for certain with Leliana, she never did anything without considering all the variables first. But she was right, the Inquisition was going to face some difficult trials before it could solidify its position as a true leading force in the fight against Corypheus' armies.
"I am giving you a chance to prove your loyalty to the Inquisition and to the Herald. But do not misconstrue my proposition for leniency." Quickly, her demeanor changed into one of open hostility as her narrowed eyes stared unflinchingly at me. "If I find out you are not who you claim to be, I can assure you Cassandra's threats will be the least of your worries." I merely nodded my acknowledgement for I did not think my voice would work at the moment.
"Good," she replied to my answer, all antagonism vanishing just as suddenly as it had come. "You may retire for the night, I expect you to report to me tomorrow morning. Don't be late." I knew a dismissal when I heard one. Without prompting, I turned on my heels and fled Leliana's presence as quickly as I could. Once outside, I was finally able to exhale the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I practically sagged in relief at the way events had played out, and dare I say, turn out in my favor. I had honestly thought that was it for me. For now though, I had made it through the accusations and come out rather unscathed. Somewhat light-headed from relief, I quickly made my way towards the exit, ignoring the two guards still standing by the door, fully intending to make my hut the last place I visited for the night. My relief was short lived because once I left the warmth of the Chantry, I stopped dead in my tracks as my eyes connected with Solas' back. What was he doing out here alone?
As if knowing I was standing behind him, he began without turning around,"Please enlighten me as to your city, Evelyn. For someone who claims they are from the remotest area of Thedas, you are remarkably well educated, almost impossibly so." Here he faced me, even taking a few steps closer. In the pale moonlight, his angular features were accentuated, almost making it seem he was made of marble. "How does a human from an unknown city come by the rare knowledge of Elven, Dwarven and ancient Tevene?" Although his voice sounded nonchalant, his eyes were anything but. So much for being under the Dread Wolf's radar.
When I didn't answer, because how could I, he suddenly changed topics. "You said you were from... Rivendell?" The word sounding exotic with his accent. I stood rigidly before him, scared beyond words at what he would say next. I opted to remain silence rather than betray myself with a feeble lie because I was in no state of mind to outsmart him.
Without waiting for an answer, as if he had already come up with a satisfying conclusion himself, he walked away in the direction of his lodgings, leaving me alone just staring after him. I could't even begin to guess as to what he was thinking or what he had figured out. The very thought, however, sent chills down my back that had nothing to do with the night's cold.