Hi, so here is another chapter and I hope that you enjoy it. This one is much longer as the story kind of begins to work it's way though episodes.
Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine.
I realised upon posting this that Lennie's name was actually Lonnie. For the sake of this story let's make it Lennie. He's dead next chapter (spoiler not spoiler) anyway.
Also I know like many of you, you have heard the devastating news that Jesse Lee Soffer is leaving at the end of Season 10. He has been amazing as Jay Halstead and I for one honestly don't know how the show will carry on without him. However for this fanfic he is alive, always alive and will never leave Intelligence. I have a feeling I will have to cling to this statement whenever his last episode ends because instinct tells me that it is not going to be pretty, especially as Tracey is not going to leave with him for the Upstead happy ending and Sophia is not coming back for the Linstead happy ending.
But also very happy about Dante Torres because he was a great character.
Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine.
Please Read and Review.
Born Under A Bad Sign
Chapter 4-The Gamblers.
In the past Jay and Erin bond while causing trouble for Lennie Rodiger, Jay meets Al and Jimmy and in the future the fight is on to save Justin from himself as New York's SVU comes to town.
14th February 2000
Valentine's Day.
Jay fucking hated Valentine's Day.
Good thing Hank didn't do it.
It wasn't that he didn't do it, it was more that Camille didn't let him do it. When Jay had asked her about it she had shrugged and said she didn't need a day and a present to know that Hank loved her which was just…well…if Jay was being honest rather sweet.
Jay who had grown up in a house where money went on booze rather than presents found it rather soothing. He found the whole thing strange sometimes coming down to a breakfast rather than fist but soon he found he liked it. He liked that Camille knew by now that he liked butter on his toast and not jam like Erin. He liked that she knew he wanted his bacon crispy and he liked the fact that she didn't judge him for the minute flinches he still gave when he was sure she was going to hit him rather than hug him.
He would never, ever admit that he liked the fact that her hugs were gentle and kind.
Man had to have some pride.
Erin and Justin went to some fancy private school and Jay had a sneaking suspicion that he would be going there too once Hank got his way. School was something that differed on, he had missed quite a chunk before he had come to live with Hank and he had made no secret of his desire to not go back. It wasn't so much the whispers and the fact that he was sure everyone knew by now his Dad was arrested it was the pitying looks.
If there was one thing in the world that Jay detested it was being pitied.
The whole living with Hank thing was another thing. It was easier…much…much easier than living with his father but it was also difficult. Pat had never given a shit what he did or what time he came in or who he was with. Hank did.
One thing he learnt from the off was the booze was off limits. Jay who had spent a lot of his time drinking found that his hands shook sometimes when he was sober and his skin felt itchy like something was burrowing under it. He was scared to ask what this meant though. He was sure that Hank noticed it but he didn't want to ask. Having gone so long on his own he was still unsure of how to ask for help.
One of the things that he was sure Hank knew was about his connection to Allie and her family. Both of her parents had been shocked when Jay had turned up (when he could walk) to tell them where he would be living now. Allie's mom had folded him into her arms and said that he would have been more than welcome to live with them if he had needed it and her Dad had gruffly patted him on the shoulder. The grief was still thick around the house and Jay had accepted her offer of a meal and had promised to ask Camille if he could come round more (not that anything was going to stop him) and Allie who had remained silent all night had squeezed his hand but Jay was sure that he could never live with them. They had been nicer than nice with him but the grief was still strong throughout their house and he was sure he was intruding on it and it made him feel sick.
What made him feel sicker was Lennie Rodiger walking free. The bastard had been given a job by his father, went out to bars with his father's friends and Jay had never hated anyone more. He walked around with a smug smile as if he was untouchable and Jay felt his nails dig into his palms when he thought about Ben's dad and the cloud of despair that was hanging around him.
He thought about it while he was sober and the mist from Pat and his actions had cleared and it made him want to cry until one night it made him want to do something else.
Problem was someone stopped him.
It just wasn't the person that he thought it would be.
He had been about to sneak out—hedging the bet from his window to the ground without smacking his brains on the ground when—
"There's an easier way you know?"
"Shit. Erin! I nearly fell out of the window"
"No you didn't"
Erin was watching him. Her mass of dirty blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was wearing leggings that had a stain on them that he was sure was pizza sauce and a sky blue t-shirt that showed off her flat belly when she crossed her arms. Jay had to look away. He was fifteen after all and Erin…Erin had a way of doing things to him, things he was fairly sure that Hank would not approve off.
"You sneaking out?"
Hank was at work, Camille downstairs and Justin in bed.
"Yeah"
"Where?"
"Nowhere"
"Party?"
Jay sighed.
"I'm going to stalk a paedophile who murdered my ex-girlfriends brother and got away with it and when I find him I might throw a brick at his head. Happy?"
He said it before he could think and then immediately hated himself for it. Shit. He was not one hundred percent sure if Hank knew about Ben, if he knew that Jay had found the body and if Hank didn't know then he was perfectly happy to keep it that way.
"Sounds like fun. You want company? They say misery loves some"
Jay turned and stared at her.
"Beg pardon?"
"I ain't got nothing to do tonight Jay but math homework and I don't want to do that. Do you want company?"
"You…you get I might kill him if I see him?"
"Then I'll be your alibi."
"Erin…you don't know what this man is and what he's done and—"
"Jay…listen you know when Hank talks about being family? He's right, we are. And family looks out for each other. At least that's what I've learnt from staying here. So if you want to do this then I'll have your back."
Jay stared at her. He had no idea what was going on here or what she wanted or what she wanted to prove. To be fair with Erin that was a very common occurrence.
"You serious?"
Erin just rolled her eyes.
"Come on" she said jerking her head and Jay followed her to her room which was messy as fuck but watched as she climbed out of her window onto the roof and shimmied her way down until she was on the pavement.
Huh.
He dropped down next to her.
"Your full of surprises aren't you?"
Erin gave a throaty kind of laugh that went all the way down to Jay's…well…let's just say he was thinking of that laugh when he was alone tonight. Providing he wasn't in prison of course.
"Oh baby, you have no idea. But before you go stalk this piece of filth can we grab coffee first. I'd say a beer but Hank thinks you have a problem"
"I DO NOT—"
"Jay shut the fuck up!"
"I do not have a problem"
Erin eyed him for a moment.
"Ok" was all she said.
That was all she needed to say.
A bottle of cheep warm beer between them sitting on an abandoned car outside Lennie Rodiger's family home with Erin was the strangest thing Jay had done.
And that was saying something.
"So you gonna tell me your deep dark secrets?"
"You gonna tell me yours?"
Erin sighed. "You go first then. What's the story with this?" she jerked her head at the door. It was obvious they were there and he knew Lennie's Dad knew him. Jay had been…rather vocal in getting the local community against them in Canaryville.
It was one of his proudest achievements.
"His name was Ben. He was five. He was my girlfriends brother. I found the body. Bastard took his underwear and left his pants down. I…I still see it at night sometimes"
Erin said nothing. Her eyes were impossibly large.
"How do you know he's the guy?"
"Because…because they found him outside Ben's school, they found pictures of kids on his computer and a box under his bed including pictures of Ben and they found his underwear in his trash can. Blood was still on it."
"I don't get it, it sounds like a slam dunk?"
"It was but low and behold Dad alibied him out. Wouldn't, couldn't…shake his story and he got dear old Lennie a good lawyer who made it all look like something else. You know he's not even on the register? He could do it again tomorrow and nothing could stop him"
"But you"
"Yeah but me. It…you don't have to look at the faces of his Mom and Dad or Allie. I…they are the nicest people in the world. They knew I wasn't ready to talk about my Mom or Pat but they didn't question why I wanted to stay there sometimes. Ben was the sweetest kid in the world. He wanted to be a cop when he grew up and he wanted a bike for his birthday. You know his Mom still makes a cake? And…I didn't want to go round and see them afterwards and when Allie made me her Mom just hugged me and said she was glad that someone who knew him had found him. And when that bastard walked out of the courtroom smiling like he had won a great victory it was the first time I had seen her cry since she'd seen the body"
Erin said nothing just took another swig of beer.
"I'm sorry Jay"
Jay shrugged.
"So you?"
"So me what?"
"Come on Erin I told you mine you gotta tell me yours"
Erin gave a long put upon sigh.
"Okay. My Mom…is alive I suppose…well last I checked. She liked booze, she liked pills she liked gambling…men…and she didn't have the money to pay for any of it. So I started helping out…she lost me a couple of times and my brother Teddy and then went to live with his Dad and I never saw him again…and…I was slinging crack for this guy who liked me in ways I didn't know wasn't right and trying to keep the lights on and Hank busted me and…"
"He turned you out?"
"He didn't have to turn me out. I volunteered because he saved my life. Charlie…he would have killed me and even if he didn't the drugs would have. You know what it's like"
Jay nodded. He did. He didn't know if Erin knew he had been on a bridge when Hank had found him and he certainly wasn't going to volunteer the information if she didn't.
"Bunny used to tell me I was Born Into Bad News all with caps lock"
"Whose Bunny?"
"My mom who did you think it was?"
Jay snorted out a mouthful of beer.
"I'm sorry…your Mom is called Bunny?"
Erin elbowed him so hard he nearly fell off the car.
"Born into Bad News" Jay said finally when he had stopped. "Well then if your Born into Bad News then I'm Born Under A Bad Sign. All caps"
"And before Hank Voight we were both royally screwed"
Jay smiled but didn't say anything. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure but Erin didn't seem to mind.
"You still wanna kick the shit out of this kid?"
"Oh yeah. You got his Dad?"
Erin shot him another look.
"Better believe it baby"
Jay hoped off the car and cracked his neck. He was about to go when…
Sirens.
Cop cars. Or at the very least unmarked detective cars. Nice ones too. Guys must have reach.
"Oh for the love of—did you call them?"
"No I didn't call them but we've been sat under a streetlight in front of the guys house for half an hour Jay. His piece of shit Dad probably called them"
Just at that moment the door opened and before the guy wearing the hat even got out of his car Jay charged.
He dodged past Lennie's dad aware that Erin and at least two cops were behind him and saw Lennie sat at the table. He smirked again and Jay reached back and with every bit of strength in his body punched him.
Lennie went flying. Jay grabbed the wine bottle smashed it against the wall and kicked him in the ribs before he could get up.
"YOU DERANGED LITTLE BASTARD—OW! GET OFF ME YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH!"
You had to love Erin. Later Jay would learn that she had thrown the gravy boat at his head and then a vase before swiping at him with the broken glass.
Jay rapidly learnt that when Erin fought she fought dirty. They both did. It was how they had survived.
His hands found Lennie's throat and he was just about to apply pressure when something…or rather someone physically lifted him off and dragged him outside.
Jay who was tough did not go quietly and he screamed and shouted and failed and kicked and when he saw the neighbours outside he screamed again. He screamed that Lennie Rodiger was a paedophile. He screamed that they should look up the case of Ben, he screamed that their kids were not safe and he had a file of kiddy porn on his laptop, that he kept the underwear. He screamed all the way down the drive and he knew from the looks that were shared that soon the Rodigers would move again. He was not done though, this was a bone deep hatred he had never felt. He wouldn't stop until that smug prick was destroyed and only then would the nightmares stop.
And then he was smacked against the front of the bonnet.
"You done kid?"
He was aware that Erin was near him but she seemed to be calm.
"Al seriously let him go! He's—"
"I know who he is Erin and I know why he's hear. Calm down. Jay…man you gotta breathe and calm down, I'm not letting you go until you do"
Jay had no idea what was going on or who Al was but all he knew was that red mist was starting to fade and his arm from where Al had it behind his back was beginning to hurt.
Actually sod that it was in agony.
Al—whoever he was—bumped him against the bonnet gently. "You good kid?"
Jay nodded.
"Good" wrenching him back Al threw him into the car before throwing Erin into the back in quick succession. Before Jay could think he had gotten in the front and another Asian man had climbed in the shotgun position.
"Hank owes me so many beers for this one Al I swear to God! I was actually getting somewhere with Susannah and—"
"You were going nowhere with her Jimmy and if Hank wasn't embroiled with the brass over that incident with you and that murderer we wouldn't be in this mess would we?"
The guy—Al turned around and Jay saw that he was about Hank's age. He was wearing a beanie and a dark coat and his smile made Jay feel a little bit safer though he couldn't explain why. Jimmy was head to toe in black leather. Erin seemed to know them both which if they knew Hank explained quite a lot.
"You alright kid?" he asked in an oddly gentle voice.
"I had him" Jay said miserably. "I had him and you stopped me and now he's going to do it to another kid"
The two men shared a long look. Al patted his arm.
"Not that I don't approve the method Jay but did you really think killing him was a good idea."
"Didn't think"
"Evidently"
"Jimmy"
"How did you find us?" Erin asked quietly. "I didn't take my phone with me"
"No but Jay did and we tracked that"
Erin shot him a withering look.
"You kept your phone on?"
"I didn't know I wasn't supposed to?"
"And that kid" Jimmy said with a grin. "Is why you'd never be a good murderer"
"Jimmy! Can we please not give the kid ideas?"
Jimmy laughed.
"Nice shot though Jay. Box do you?"
"No. I have an asshole for a Dad. I know what works"
"Yeah we heard" Al said sighing. "You know the Dad wants to press charges"
Jay shrugged. Now some of the red mist had cleared he was beginning to think that prison might be the safest place for him. He couldn't imagine that Hank was going to be pleased when he found out about this little stunt.
"Well that's not helpful Jay. Look we'll call this all off as a bad domestic. I think the Dad's got bigger problems right now. Did you see the look on the neighbours faces? But we'll take you down to the station and go through the motions"
"Does Hank know?" Erin asked quietly.
"Oh yeah. And he's not impressed"
"Fan-fucking-tastic"
"Jay being smart right now is not helpful"
Jay said nothing the rest of the way to the station. He had a feeling he had really just fucked this up and surprisingly it made him want to cry and he could not figure out why.
They took them both into a small room and Jay ran a hand through his hair.
"You gonna be okay?" Erin asked watching him like he was a live grenade with the pin pulled out.
"You?"
"What do you mean?"
"I know I'm done in for but are you? Hank not gonna kick you out right?"
"Jay he's not gonna kick you out"
Jay said nothing. Erin grabbed his arm bending down so they were level.
"Jay he sent Al and Jimmy because there his partners. He sent them because he knows that they'll make this go away for you. He sent them because he cares. And sure he'll be pissed but considering what I did the first few months that I lived with him this is nothing"
"He gonna hit me?"
Erin's expression was pitying. Fuck…Jay hated it. He hated that he cared. He had taken more than his fair share of hits before. He should be able to take this one to.
"Jay…no…I…"
And then he heard him.
"I WILL PROVE WHO I AM OFFICER AS SOON AS I HAVE SEEN MY CHILDREN NOW BACK THE FUCK OFF, RIGHT NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU"
"Who does he mean?"
Erin looked at him with that pitying look. Jay hated it, he hated it.
"Us Jay"
"No but…but when he says—"
Erin touched his arm.
"Jay he means us."
Jay stared at her. He didn't know what to think. He wondered if weather it was as confusing for her when this happened as it was for him. Because somehow she had found a way to live with people giving an actual shit if you lived or died and Jay didn't know if he could do that.
The door to the room slammed open and Hank was there. He did not look pleased but Jay had stared down angry before. Problem was this was not anger. This was concern and Jay had no fucking idea how to deal with concern. The last person who had looked at him with concern had been Will, before that his Mom. He did not know what to do with this and he felt exposed, raw, open with everything bleeding on the floor.
"You two alright?"
"Yeah. Al and Jimmy got us out of it pretty quick. Look Hank before you explode—"
"You know you scared the hell out of Camille tonight didn't you? Caused property damage, physical assault and—"
"Erin didn't do anything" Jay said feeling exhausted. "So book me, hit me, do whatever you gotta do. Then I'll get my shit and go and she can stay"
Hank sighed.
"Erin go get yourself some hot chocolate, call Camille from my desk and let her know your okay."
Erin shot Jay a concerned look followed by a quick smile and then left.
Jay stared at his hands as Hank sat down at the table so they were face to face.
"I did my research you know"
"Hmm?"
"Lennie Rodiger. You didn't think I wouldn't find out you found the body? You think I didn't run a background check on you when you were in hospital?"
Jay shrugged. In truth he didn't know what to say to that. Thinking that it had been done and hearing it were two different things.
"He got away with it" he said dimly. He couldn't get away from that fact.
"Yeah"
"He's guilty Hank"
"I know Jay I read the file. But sometimes the guilty ones go free and there is nothing that you can do about it. It's just a fact of life. And it's not fair but it is what it is"
Jay said nothing.
"What you can do is not let it destroy you. You can live your life—"
"And when he does it again? Cause he will, he can't help himself. He will find another kid and—"
"And that's when we catch him. Jay even the smartest of criminals screw up and Lennie Rodiger is not the smartest of criminals, far from it. He'll screw up, and we'll catch him. But you cannot let that piece of filth ruin your life while you wait"
Jay didn't say anything he didn't think Hank needed him to.
"Why are you here?" he asked finally. "I told you on that bridge that I was…that I wasn't worth it. And yet…you want me to stay even after this and I don't…what the hell do you get out of this?"
"Let's just say…I get to save you this time"
Jay didn't know what to say to that.
He didn't think he would understand if he did.
But that was alright too he supposed.
And then suddenly without warning he was crying. He didn't know what started it but he was crying like he was a baby.
Hank didn't say anything but he slid next to Jay and Jay let himself be pulled into a hug.
It felt good.
It felt really, really good.
And who knows? Maybe this time it would last.
March 5th 2014.
Like most things in Jay's life it was going good until it wasn't.
They'd been working a case with SVU New York. It had been a brutal one at that but the case had involved the legendary squad. It had not involved Olivia Benson much to Erin's disappointment but it had been a brutal case that had sent them to dark depths.
Erin had also ran into her old friend—well—bitchy frenemy from High School. Jay had refused flat out to go to the school reunion and even Erin had agreed with him so they had been spending the night with Chinese and a bottle of whiskey and it was just starting to go the way Jay suspected it would—not that he was one hundred percent sure that was a good idea when there had been a knock on the door of Erin's apartment and she had gone to open it to see Justin who had tumbled into the room with blood all over his hands only to start when he saw the two of them and spill his guts with some cock and bull story that seemed to involve a bar fight. Perhaps realising that you couldn't bullshit two people who had bullshitted their way for a living (even before they had a badge on their hip) he had ran off into the night and Erin had watched him before turning wide eyed to Jay who could only off her a shrug as he downed the whiskey—the burn had not bothered him since he was seventeen and he supposed that spoke volumes in itself but he was once more too fed up to care about it all that much.
"Yeah right" he said when Erin caught his eye. "He's involved in something"
"I know. Hank asked me to look into it"
"Course he did"
"He didn't ask you?"
"No. Probably to save some of Justin's pride. God knows that ship sailed with me a long time ago"
Erin said nothing. Jay didn't know what to say. A part of him wanted to help and a part of him didn't. His relationship with Justin was very different to Erin's relationship with him.
"I'm gonna tell Hank" she said finally.
"Do it tomorrow" Jay said taking his final gulp of whiskey and standing up—God knows he wasn't going to get sex tonight.
"Hank's calmer when you tell him bad news in public."
Erin cracked a smile that didn't meet her eyes.
Jay couldn't blame her.
"He's involved in the dumping of the body" was all she said to him later that day.
They were waiting on the phone call that would give them the CTV footage from India and Jay had gone to wash his hands and she had followed him into the locker room shutting the door behind him once she knew he was alone.
"How do you know?"
"I just…trust me, Hank and I put the pieces together. The CTV footage is going to show Justin was at the scene"
Jay scrubbed a hand over his face. He was getting too old for this sometimes. He could feel it in his bones.
"Justin got involved with the wrong crowd again"
"Vince Catalano"
"Wasn't he the cellmate?"
"Yep" Erin said popping the p. "Look we need to be there with Hank when he sees this"
"Why? We both know he's going to bury the case"
Erin shot him a long and level look that was tinged with sadness. It reminded Jay of that look she had given him all those years ago when she had listened to his story about Ben and he had learnt that she'd have his back no matter what.
"Jay…do you really think that Antonio is going to let him do that?"
And suddenly Jay understood.
"Shit" Erin said under her breath. Jay on the other side of Hank couldn't blame her. He knew what he was looking at and he knew that they all knew it to. Accessory to murder.
Well…leave it to Justin to go big or go home. If he was going to get himself sent back to prison then he was going to get himself sent back to prison for good.
Only Justin could do something that exceptionally stupid.
But then again…Jay wasn't one to talk. Not really. There had been a period where Hank could have asked him to drive the car and he would have done, one body or four in the backseat.
"Well that's it then"
"No it's not"
Jay personally thought that yes it was but he didn't say anything.
"Whose calls is he answering?"
Both of them looked at him.
"Yeah. He might not be answering your phone calls but he's damn well gonna answer mine"
Justin met him outside a cheep motel half an hour after Jay dropped his message.
"Jay—"
"What the hell did you do?"
"Jay I didn't—can you help me?"
Jay stared at him.
"Why do you think I'm here. Tell me what happened and then were gonna help each other"
So Justin did.
"Get in the car"
"You gonna help me?"
"I'm calling Erin and then were going to meet her somewhere and whatever she decides to do were doing it"
"You don't wanna drop me off at the station"
"If I could guarantee Antonio's silence on this I would but I can't. Only she can. Get in"
Justin got in.
"I know we haven't gotten on—"
Jay snorted. He really couldn't help himself. And in truth it was not even true. It wasn't really that they didn't get on. The truth of the matter was that they had been two alpha males in one house scrambling for some kind of control.
In hindsight he could have done things a lot differently. He could have made them a hell of a lot better as well.
"Jay I don't—"
"It's cool man, I know you've always wondered why he took me in"
"I…he was just my Dad and then…"
"And then I came in and took up his time and attention"
"The job did most of that" Justin muttered and Jay had to admit that was true. Hank had been back at work almost days after Camille had died and the rest of them had been too stunned by grief to move. Will was his brother…Justin was…kind of a brother but it was a different relationship. It was hard to put into words. It was even harder to think and he wanted to tell Justin that it was all going to be okay but he couldn't.
"I'm glad he took you in you know"
Jay nodded.
"I'm sorry we couldn't keep you out of prison"
Justin reached out with his fist and Jay bumped his own against it. They smiled at each other. That was all they needed to do.
"Come on" Jay said turning the ignition. "Let's get you out of this mess"
It was Erin that suggested Antonio. That was the first surprise. The second one was that Antonio actually listened. The third was that he allowed Justin to get off. Catalano turned up dead (no fucking surprise what happened there) and Hank and Justin went off into the goodnight.
It would be the morning when Erin told him what Hank had done. That night he would go home from Molly's barely standing and having to be helped into a cab by Adam who thought he was a funny drunk. He had to drink when he thought about Justin in the Army, when he thought about himself in the Army. It was either drink or cry.
And God knows Jay Halstead never cried for anyone or anything unless he could help it.
And there you go, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will bring you the next one sooner rather than later.
Next Chapter-Lexie Olinsky witnesses a murder, Hank gets arrested and has it out with Jay over his obsession with Lennie Rodiger. Meanwhile in the past Will Halstead turns up determined to find out just what the hell is going on with his little brother.