Hi, and here is another chapter and the first one of Season 2. I hope you enjoy this chapter and it will cover a few events very fast and so therefore please keep that in mind.

The relationship between Jay and Erin and how it starts is my own creation. This was just the way I saw it happening.

Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine.

Please Read and Review.

Trigger Warnings for underage drinking and for some phrases concerning alcohol abuse.

Born Under A Bad Sign

Chapter 10-You Can't Save Them All

The beginning of Season 2. Jay wonders if Hank killed Jin, learns the truth, has a hit put out on him and nearly gets killed (all in the space of a fortnight) Nadia begins work in Intelligence and in the past Jay and Erin begin their complicated relationship in the aftermath of what happened with Charlie.

1st January 2003

"Jay?"

He was asleep when the door to his room cracked open and he sat up scrubbing a hand across his face and peering in the darkness as someone opened the door to his room and slipped in.

"Erin?"

"Yeah. Don't turn the light on"

"Okay."

"I just…you know that three years ago you were here? Hank took you home?"

"Yeah" he said honestly because he had been thinking of it. Thank God they didn't celebrate shit like that because Jay was honestly not sure how you were supposed celebrate not throwing yourself of a bridge. Especially considering everything else that he had been through since then.

Charlie Puglisi was still a ghost in the house three months after he had gone.

And Jay was still not entirely sure what that meant either.

All he knew was that it had been rough.

The nightmares were just an added bonus return. He'd had nightmares for the first few years of his living here. He'd had nightmares about his Dad that would send him skyrocketing out of bed desperate for a drink. Now that Hank had a lock on the liquor cabinet and he had an idea of what he wanted to do with his life and he didn't feel the urge to drink as much as he did before. Instead he used to get out of bed and do press ups until his arms ached and he felt like he was going to be sick in the morning. It worked. Chased away the demons and nobody really asked why he was having a shower at three in the morning.

"I was…I was thinking about Charlie"

"Why?" he interrupted. "Oh God Erin don't start with him, I was firmly in the Hank killing him camp"

And he was which looking back said quite a bit more about him than it did Hank. But it was not until he eventually went to war that these things would change.

Erin sat on the bed.

"I want to feel something Jay. I want to feel something other than him. Something good"

"Okay" he drawled out not sure where she was going. With Erin sometimes it was easier to let her get to the point on her own with no interruptions.

"I was thinking…Jay will you have sex with me?"

It was a good thing Jay wasn't drinking anymore because he knew he would have choked. Indeed he had to discreetly pinch himself just to check that he wasn't dreaming because he did have eyes thank you very much.

It wasn't like he had not thought of Erin in that way because he had. Sometimes. Actually quite a lot but he had always chalked it down to one of those things that shouldn't have happened and so therefore it was easy to push it to the back of his mind.

"Huh?"

"Look, I'm not asking for a relationship thought I wouldn't mind it it's just…Jay you make me feel safe. I know that you would never hurt me, I know that you'd be good and kind and gentle and I need that right now. I need to know that there is goodness in the world and I…I have protection, I'm on protection and I know you have some and—"

He was going to kill Will. His brother who had left this morning (or was it yesterday now?) to go back to the Sudan and who had given him a box of condoms with a comment about how he was old enough now (seriously Jay was seventeen he had been old enough for quite some time) and now somewhere on a plane back to hell his brother was laughing he was sure of it.

Bastard.

"Erin I…if Hank finds out…"

If Hank found out they were having sex under his roof he was going to hit the roof. Like nuclear style.

Erin nodded. "I know but…but I need this and I want this and I know you want this to. I'm not asking you to marry me, I'm not asking for anything other than one night. I mean if you wanted more that would be fine but just…Jay please make me feel safe again"

Jay was seventeen. Erin was an attractive woman. He was also a virgin. With all the best will in the world there was only so much that he could withstand.

"Will it…does it bother you that I've never done this before?" he asked finally old insecurities peeping in.

"You never did it with Allie?"

"In between burying her brother and watching a travesty of justice play out in real life live time, no Erin we didn't"

Erin said nothing but Jay got the impression that he had rather shocked her and…well…good. Serves her right.

"Does it bother you?" he asked finally.

"Not unless it bothers you that I have"

Jay shook his head.

And then Erin leaned in.

And that was the end of that.

Justin had commented that he was in a good mood that morning over breakfast and Jay nearly dropped his coffee.

"Slept without nightmares" he said finally choosing the safest lie that he could go with.

"Well that's a good sign" Camille said smiling. "Finally the two of you can put it all behind you"

Erin's smile had been a bit too smug and Jay knew he was blushing.

Thank the Lord above that Hank had been working.

3rd March-17th March 2015

"Do you think he could have killed Jin"

Erin's expression was one of utter conviction.

"Absolutely not"

Jay sighed. It was pointless to try and have this conversation with Erin. He should have had it with someone else.

But who?

Al would have told him the same thing, Antonio would have probably got his handcuffs out again, Adam and Kevin were too in Hank's thrall and…and he was too scared to go for a drink with Trudy because the woman would drink even him under the table, pull out his life's secrets and then mock him with them endlessly until the day he died.

He pressed his fingers into his scotch glass.

"Well he's gonna bury it. God knows why"

Jin's death had shocked them all. The fact that he was the mole had been even more shocking though looking back at that period in their lives it wasn't. Sumner had been set up though as an apology she had gotten out of nowhere a hefty promotion to the Gang unit with a letter of recommendation that would see her on the promotion ladder which Jay supposed was Hank's backwards way of an apology.

The fact that they were coming after Hank was not shocking because Sitwell had, had it in for Hank for months, even the most green Rookie could see that. The problem was that Jay could see Hank doing it.

"He'll have his reasons"

He shook his head. Erin honestly.

He had not told Erin that he had been the one to pull Hank back from the brink that night with Pulpo. He had not told her what he said. He had known that she would make something of it he wasn't sure if he was ready to make himself. He had called Hank his Dad only once before and he was not sure if he was ready to make the leap that Erin had made with ease.

His father…his biological one anyway was still out there in Caneyville somewhere. It was not like Erin's relationship with her Mom. Pat and him had not spoken in years. Jay didn't even know if his father knew he was a cop. Will had been the go between for them for years and it had worked but deep down Jay had not really wanted to know and he suspected that deep down Pat hadn't either. It wasn't like Bunny who kept pulling Erin back in like she was a fish on a fishing rod. He was just not interested and neither was his father.

All in all it made things a lot easier.

As it turned out somewhere between getting a hit put out on him and almost dying (again) Hank had, had his reasons. Working with IA though it wasn't really working. And Sitwell was put in prison. Erin was pissed and Jay wasn't.

It was an odd working scenario he would be the first to admit it.

But he could understand it, and Hank had told them in the end and all Jay had ever wanted out of this working relationship was honesty. He had kept his own secrets for more than enough time and Hank knew it too. So he offered his hand.

And he was pleased when Hank took it.

Didn't solve the problem of the hitman though.

Problem was everyone seemed more bothered about it than Jay was.

It stemmed from the fact that he was used to it. Try as he might to explain that as an American solider working in the Army with people who were anxious for change as much as they were he'd had threats and hits and ransoms out on him for most of his army life. Of course explaining that to Hank who he had never directly told…well…let's just say that there was a reason why Jay had never rang him after the 'break in' in which nothing was taken. It didn't mean however he was an idiot. He knew a threat when he saw one.

So he asked Erin.

"I just need a place to crash" he explained. She shot him a look taking a swig of her beer.

"Jay…you can always talk to Hank if you need a place. Your more than welcome to of course crash at mine but if he finds out he's gonna think that were back up again"

Maybe it was the booze in his system…he had told Erin he had just started when he had arrived but the truth was he was three drinks in and in no condition to have a weapon on his hip, but suddenly he was asking…

"Would that be a bad thing?"

Erin shot him a look with a grin over her own glass. They had never really officially broke up. Jay, had, had no idea what had happened between them, it had been a whole lot of sex and he had thought at the time it was a relationship but he had matured (somewhat) since then and he knew what was a relationship and what wasn't. He also knew what he wanted and he wanted to make it work with Erin. He always came back to Erin because it was easy. It was as easy as breathing. He had no idea if it was going to be the same with someone else and maybe if another blonde detective walked through the door he would try but there wasn't another blonde detective and he wasn't in the mood. He was chasing down a good feeling.

"Jay" Erin began and then she saw something that he hadn't and she was screaming.

"GET DOWN"

And then someone opened fire.

Fuck.

Maddie was hit hard with the bullet and Erin was unable to get a shot off and when they got to the hospital Jay was still unfit to shoot. Hank arrived not less than ten minutes later as he was being checked out. He was caked in Maddie's blood and really, really fucking pissed off. Something had happened between her being shot and Hank arriving and he didn't know what it was, his brain all muddled up and trying to sort through the adrenaline.

Hank barely had to rip open the curtain before Jay was throwing up all on the floor, the nurse Doris only having the sense to jump away at the last minute.

"Sorry" he mumbled weakly and then he was leaning on the bed trying to get the room to stop spinning. "Adrenaline"

Hank said nothing in the immediate room but as soon as the curtain was shut his lecture began.

"Yeah and how much scotch?"

"I didn't fire my weapon"

"But you left Erin undefended"

"Oh fuck you Hank you know it wasn't like that. There was a girl bleeding on the floor. I went for her before she died. I asked Erin if she was okay she was. Ask her the same thing"

"I did. Her story corresponds with yours"

Jay wanted to make a rude gesture but he was too tired.

"Oh no" Hank said dragging him back up. "If your not hit you can go back to work. I'm not letting you out of my sight until this is over."

"It's—"

"I know whose behind this, Al is dealing with it. Come on Jay you gotta be sober before people start asking questions"

Jay scrubbed a hand over his face and sat up. "I am sober Hank. I don't get drunk in public. I get drunk alone"

Hank stared at him. "And that Jay" he said quietly. "Is what terrifies me"

Jay hopped of the bed. He had heard it all before.

Hank was going to kill JP, Bembenek, and then Jay because this kid was going to kill him.

First there was the panicked phone call from Erin, then the rather worrying comment that he only got pissed alone and then there was the getting into the car with a hitman (that he had arranged without Hank knowing) and now his son had been taken hostage by a vengeful hitman who was less of a vengeful hitman now and more of a terrified father.

Hank could understand the feeling.

Erin was pulling moves in the car that was quite frankly illegal but as they pulled up to where Jay was supposed to be it was clear that Jay had gotten the upper hand on JP. There was a shootout (because that was just all they fucking needed) and then it was over.

"Damn" Adam muttered grinning. "That was a close one"

Jay flashed him a smile and then caught Hank's expression.

"Look before you yell at me"

"Shut up" Hank said and then he did something that he swore he'd never do on the job. He hugged him.

With Erin she would have returned the hug straight away. With Jay it was different. For a second he stiffened as if he was surprised and then he relaxed a little and he returned the hug.

"Sorry" Jay muttered.

"Do not do that shit to me again"

"Yes Dad"

"Jay"

"I mean it" Jay said finally as Hank pulled back. "No more getting in the car with retired hitmen"

Hank snorted. Somehow, he knew that given the choices presented to them Jay would choose the same thing over and over again. It was one of the reasons why Hank liked him in his unit. It was one of the reasons why as his son it drove him up the fucking wall.

And he was. Jay and Erin were as much as his children as Justin was and the fact that they continued to take stupid risks with their lives was something that both utterly irritated him and made him love them more. It was times like this that made him miss Camille even more than he already missed her. Because she would look at this scenario and know just what to do and what to say to make him feel better.

And he needed that now more than ever before.

Al took him out for drinks that night.

"You know Jay was drinking pretty heavily when I went to see him" Hank said quietly.

"Jay's always drank heavily. I've been telling you for years you can take him out of his father's house but you can't take the father out of him"

"He said that he gets drunk when he's alone?"

"So?"

"What my father used to say. It's what Bob Ruzek says. It's what anyone who hits the bottle says—"

"Have you considered he's—"

"Yes"

Al said nothing for a second and then.

"Sometimes, you have to hit rock bottom and you have to hit it on your own. And then you've got people sticking their hands in the hole to pull you up. Look at Nadia. Drug addict prostitute one day, Erin primed to help her and then despite everything she turns it around. But she made the decision to stop. Erin might have helped but Nadia was the one who went out on her own and got her thirty day chip. And now look at her"

Hank considered that.

"I like Nadia" he said finally. "I think she's good for Erin. And I think she's good for the unit"

"Yeah" Al said cheerfully. "God knows she can't be worse that Jin"

Hank snorted into his beer.

And there you go, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will do my best to bring you the next chapter sooner rather than later.

Next Chapter-As Intelligence catch a case from CFD and Olivia Benson comes to town Erin's personal life is put at the forefront of the case. In the past Jay remembers the last time he saw Teddy Courtney. (Newsflash, it was not a successful visit)