22
I wake up to the smell of coffee and bacon and jump out of bed, panicked and trying to remember if our fire extinguisher is up to date. Angela is smart as a whip and good at a lot of things, but try as she might, she can't cook for shit. The only class she's ever failed is Home Economics, and if I let her, Alice would happily live off Pop-Tarts, Hot Pockets, and microwaved popcorn.
I rush downstairs, ready to save my house and slide into the kitchen only to find the vampire from my dreams, literally, pulling pancakes off the griddle.
"Are all humans this excited for breakfast?" she asks and turns to me, her jaw just about hits the floor, and she starts laughing her pretty little head off. "Where are your pants?"
I look down and realize I'm only wearing a pair of boxers with poop emojis all over them. They were a gag gift from Alice last Christmas and are my favorite thing to sleep in. Right now, I'd love nothing more than to light them on fire, preferably with me still wearing them.
I cover my crotch, blurt out apologies, and run into the door jamb on the way out of the room.
She probably thinks she's being quiet, but I can hear her giggling as I climb the stairs two at a time. I run into Angela on the way to my bedroom, and she smacks me on my bare chest. "Dad! We have a guest; you can't walk around half-naked anymore. Have some decency."
Bella calls up the stairs, the humor still evident in her voice. "Rabbit, leave your father alone and come help me with breakfast."
Maybe I should have stipulated that I wanted a male shield. I'm completely outnumbered. This sucks.
I knock on Alice's door and find her sitting on the floor in front of a mirror surrounded by makeup.
"Yes?"
"Bella is making breakfast."
She rolls her eyes. "I'm not hungry."
"That's a shame because she requested that Jasper come over today so they can meet."
Alice's head snaps up, and the lipstick she is meticulously applying leaves a pink streak across her cheek. "Really?"
I nod. "You're still grounded, but she's insisting that it's required for the trial period. Call him and tell him he can come over for a little while."
I get reminded that I confiscated her phone yesterday and inform her that the house phone is hanging in the kitchen. I can tell she wants to argue, but the possibility of seeing her boyfriend wins out.