Disclaimer:I do NOT own nor make profit off the Avengers or Spiderman. It all belongs to the MCU and The Walt Disney Company.
Warning:This chapter does deal with content that can be upsetting and triggering to some readers. Suicide and mental health are talked about heavily in this chapter. If you ever feel the emotions the characters in this chapter mention don't be afraid to reach out and get help. YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE NEEDED IN THIS WORLD #BEHERETOMORROW
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It's Not Worth It
"What's you get for number four?" I look up,
"Seven." Ned looks down at his paper and then back up,
"I got four," I shake my head and look back down at my paper,
"It's seven."
"Are you sure?" I shrug,
"Keep your answer at four and see what happens" I feel Ned stare at me, and then quickly take an eraser to his paper. I can't help the smile on my face. Ned and I have been doing our homework together since grade school, his strengths have always been in history and english, while mine laid in math and science. Sometimes MJ joins us, but tonight she had a family dinner so Ned and I packed are bags and headed to Delmar's.
"What number are you on?" Ned asks finishing his final touched on answer four. I pick up my paper up and hold it out,
"I'm done." His eyes widen,
"You're done." He rips the work sheet out of my hands and looks up,
"Go ahead." He smiles and places the paper down beginning to copy down the answers, although he'll get three wrong just so we won't get caught copying. For all the times Ned has lent me his own homework when I've been too "busy" this is the least I can do. I grab a chip and pop it into my mouth,
"No internship today?" Ned blinks his mouth hanging silently open,
"What are you doing?" I ask as he continues to blink,
"It's a bink" He blinks again,this time he keeps his eyes closed longer,
"A what?"
"I can't wink so I close both eyes, I came up with it myself it's called a bink" He does it again,
"Stop it," blink, "All you you're doing is blinking," blink, "You're being weird even for me," blink, "Give me my homework back." I reach forward but he pulls the paper away,
"Ok, I'll stop, but I'm telling you for people who can't do it, it's genius, it's goanna catch on." I laugh leaning back in my chair,
"Ya Ned, better get a patent for it," He looks up from my paper and drops his pencil, mouth wide open,
"Do you really think I should?"
"No." He frowns and goes back to copying my answers,
"But really not internship?" I take a breath and shake my head,
"I thought I'd stay in tonight." Ned lifts an eyebrow,
"Really?" I nod,
"I don't know, I'm just not feeling really good today."
"You're sick!" Ned's voice catches a few peoples attention, their faces scrunch up and they scoot their tables away.
"No" I hiss, turning to smile towards the disgusted patrons. "I just," I turn back "I'm not feeling it today I guess,"
"Like saving people?" Now Ned decides to whisper, I grumble,
"Of course not...I don't know Ned I don't really think I'll be needed tonight," I grab a another chip and bite into it, "So buckle up, you're stuck with me all day." Ned smiles,
"Hey yo Delmar turned the TV to channel 4?" I turn towards the voice, it belongs to a kid in a beanie with a phone in his hands, Delmar grabs the remote and switches from the Diners, Dive-in and Dives to channel four, "turn the volume up?" the same kid asks.
"A source close by says he's been up there for the past two hours, threatening to jump should anyone gets even remotely close to him. Police have deployed water crafts all around the East River should he decide to jump. No further news has come on the identity of this man, other than drivers on the Triborough Bridge caught him climbing over after-"
"Looks like we're not hanging out." I turn back towards Ned,
"What?"
"Who better than to help him than Spiderman?" I shake my head,
"Their's police all over that area, they'll help him." I turn back around in my chair,
"Really?" Ned's voice is full of disappointment, and I can't help but look up to his puppy dog face, he reaches for his backpack and pulls out his earbuds, "I'll be in you're ear," Ned grins from ear to ear, he's been like that since he figured out how to hack into the suits IA system. Little does he know, I've blocked him.
"I'm not going Ned end of story." He sets the earbuds down and slowly picks up his pencil and goes back to copying down my math homework,
"I hope he doesn't jump...that would be a hard burden on my shoulders you know?" He glances up. I give him my best "don't" look. It doesn't work, "You know?" he looks back down "Knowing I could have prevented it all along." I growl, throwing my pencil case at him. It hits him in the chest sending pens all over the table and floor,
"Watch that," I hiss grabbing my back pack and sling it over my shoulder. I push the chair back and start heading for a place to change,
"I'll be there with you buddy." Ned shouts, I can tell theirs a smile on his face and I close my eyes tightly remembering Ned is my best friend and no matter how good it sounds right now, it would be rude to punch him in the face. When he shouts asking if I heard him, I repeat that statement in my head. Twice.
…
Triborough Bridge doesn't take that long to get to from Delmars, it's especially hard to miss with all the cop cars and fire trucks. I groan, I'm more of a "beat up bad guys behind an alley and leave them" kind of person and this is the opposite. There are a lot of people and this is going to give me a lot of attention...too much attention.
"Aye Yo it's Spiderman" Someone shouts, I look down swinging past them. He nudges his buddy and both immediately pull out their phones. I wave and continue to the spot at the bridge where men in uniform huddle together. It's then that I see the man. He's sitting on the very edge under the bridge, in a location perfect enough to not allow anyone to touch or sneak up on him,
"Oh no." One of the officers notices my shadow as I pass, and immediately looks up, he looks familiar, but from this far up it's hard to tell.
"What?" Another officer shouts looking up. The other officer cups his hands over his mouth,
"Thanks for showing up, but we don't need ya." I salute him as I pass by him, shooting a web to the other side of the bridge, I can tell before I disappear under that everyone has seen me and I have no doubt the conversation has turned to questions regarding why I'm here. In all honestly I don't know why. I've never done this. I guess I'll just web him to the officers. I see his dangling feet. He's sitting on one of the exposed beams used to stabilized the sides of the bridge. I shoot a web to a beam next to him and propel myself next to him.
"What the-"
"Don't jump" I hold my hands out, when I'm back on my feet. I'm almost taken back on how young this guy looks, older than me, but maybe by only a few years. I focus on his features, dark hair a mess matching swollen eyes, olive skin, jeans a hoodie, converse. His red rimmed eyes widen,
"How'd the hell did you get up here?" Theirs wet streaks down his cheeks, he's been crying.
"Isn't it obvious?" I point to the officers on the bridge and sit down, "I snuck passed them." He looks up at the officers and then back to me,
"Why?" I shrug
"Why are you here?" he swallows,
"Spiderman, vacate from you're sitting area and get up here" I look up to the officer with the megaphone. Looking at him closer I realize I do know him, that's Gwens dad. I raise my hands,
"Be up there in a jiffy!" I look to the man and hold my hand over my cheek, "I'm not going up there." I whisper loudly and recline back into my beam,
"Please go away, I didn't want all of this attention." I nod,
"You climb over a railing on one of the busiest interstates in Queens, and you don't want attention?" His Adam apple bobs and he shakes his head. Tears start escaping from his eyes.
"I..I didn't even know if I wanted to ya know...I just...I'm so tired." I take a deep breath, "I don't want to end my life, I just want to end the live I'm living." I take a deep breath. His words hits me in a place that makes my heart hurt,
"I feel that way to sometimes," The man laughs, but it's biter, tears falling harder down his cheeks,
"You can't feel that way, you're a superhero." Now it's my turn to laugh,
"You think that makes my problems go away?" I have his full attention now, "That I put on this mask and suddenly, boom. Problem's gone." The feeling of not wanting to patrol, telling Mr. Stark I was taking a night off dragging myself to Avengers tower every night and them going back home only to drag myself out again for patrol. I'm tired too.
"Theirs a reason you became Spiderman isn't there?" I look up.
"Yay, but this isn't about me."
"SPIDERMAN!" Captain Stacy yells through the Megaphone, I swear they turned the volume up. The man next to me winces at the noice,
"They've been yelling at me for the last 45 minutes."
"SPIDERMAN VACATE THE-" I shoot a web up grabbing the megaphone and pull it out of his hand. I let the web go watching the noise machine fall into the East River. I look up to man,
"Better?" He actually smiles,
"Ya"
"What's you're name?" The smile is wiped from his face, I can feel his nerves reverberating off his body, I lean back, the more relaxed I seem, I believe the more relaxed he'll become. After a second he takes a breath,
"Cody." I nod,
"Okay Cody, do you wanna talk or do you wanna sit here?" He looks down towards the water, "Hey look up at me, were not doing that." He looks back up, "Lets talk." He looks away,
"About what?"
"About anything you want" He looks like he's about to panic, "Do you like Star Wars?" He nods, "Don't you want to see the new movie?" He shrugs,
"Kinda"
"I heard it's going to be good." I could almost roll my eyes, remembering the text I got from Mr. Stark a couple weeks back,
"Ya?" I nod,
"Oh Yay, and if you jump I'm going to catch you and spoil the whole movie for you," His eyes widen and I hold out my hands, when did I turn into Mr. Stark. "Kidding, kidding, listen if you get down we can go see it together,"
"You and me?" I nod, "How are you going to see a movie with me?" I shrug,
"We can figure it out,"
"What do I do?" I look over,
"Well we can get down, that would be step one-" He points to the officers above us,
"You think their just going to let us go, and even if they do...I don't know what to do. I've been waiting for it to get better, it's just..."
"It doesn't" I swivel around lying down on the beam and cross my legs "I know everyone always says it's going to get better, sure but what about now...sometimes you just want it better now, and I know something brought you here. To this place, but if you could just tell me what brought you to this place, we could resolve it." Cody chokes,
"I just graduated...you know how far in debt I am, everyone tells you go to college get a degree that's the only way to make something of you're self but you know what it got me? 150,000 dollars in debt, I'm working as a barista...I got a notice on my door saying rents late, i'll be kicked out at the end of the month, my girlfriend broke left...I just" I watch him edge closer,
"Cody listen. All of that, it's a temporary problem and what your doing right now is a long term solution..one you can't go back from."
"You don't know it's temporary!" He yells, edging closer, "It's just too much, I just want it to stop!"
"Listen to me," Cody stops and looks up "This pain...it's all here" I point to my head, "And those thoughts up here, they don't have to become your actions. You're thoughts don't have to take over, I know Cody that you think you have to die, but you don't really want to."
"You don't know that?" I nod,
"I do, because I know if you jump, halfway down, you're going to regret it." I swallow the own rising emotion in chest, "You need someone right now that wants you here, that wants you to be alive and I'm here. I want you alive and I know i'm not the only one and I promise I know thats true. You deserve to be here for you, but your pain is real, your pain matters and your pain is valid, and your mental health deserves a painkiller and I wanna help you get it." I take a breath, "It's amazing how you forget the pain once it goes away," Cody clenches his teeth breathing hard,
"SPIDERMAN-" Great he's got another megaphone,
"SHUT UP!" I look up yelling at Captain Stacy "OR ILL TAKE THAT ONE TOO!" I look back at Cody,
"I know it can be hard, but you have to live. I want you to be alive Cody. Be Here Tomorrow." He looks up, the tears stream down his cheeks, He wipes at his nose and swallows,
"Okay" He lets out a shaky breath and reaches down to stand,
"Okay?" He nods,
"Ya, okay." I reach a tentative hand out,
"Alright, I'll help you." On shaky knee's he starts to stand, one hand outreached another wipes his eyes. I see it coming, before he does, without a hand on the bridge to steady himself, he looses his balance. I shoot a web onto the bridge and swing down, for a second I don't think I'll be able to catch him, I tuck my arms and straighten my body. Cody flays and it's the only thing that saves him, slowing him down. I catch him around the waist right as the web runs out sending us swinging. Cody screaming in my ear the whole time, he throws his arms around my neck hugging me tightly, too tightly almost. I clench my teeth focusing on swinging us back up to the bridge, all while trying to keep my grip on Cody. When we finally swing back around and over the the police and concert I let both of us drop. Cody hits the ground first his feet take the shock of the fall, then his knees and side, he'll be fine. I tuck and roll letting my left shoulder take the blunt of the impact, until I roll onto my feet, and come face to face with 20 officers all with their guns pointed at my chest. I groan but hold my hands up,
"What are you doing stop!" Cody gets to his feet, "You can't shoot Spiderman, he caught me," Captain Stacy stares hard at me, he doesn't currently have a gun at my body, but his eyes seem to do the shooting for him. Cody turns to the Captain, "Please." It's then I notice the camera pointing at me as well, great this is definitely going to make the news. After a second Captain Stacy holds his hand up,
"Stand down." Officers look at on another, theirs not a single one of them who isn't convinced this is a good idea, but slowly each brings their weapon down. I breathe a sigh of relieve as a women runs passed me, and bombards Cody,
"Mom?" she hugs him fiercely a new set of tears fall down his eyes, "I'm sorry." She shakes her head,
"No I'm sorry." She turns towards me, "Thank you." I wave, holding out my other arm ready to shoot a web and swing out of here,
"Spiderman!" Cody captures my attention, I turn towards him, face full of tears, arms full of love, "You were right," I tilt my head, "The minute my feet left that bridge I regretted it." I swallow,
"I'll see you at the Star Wars movie." With that I shoot a web high at the top of the bridges arch and swing away.
…
I text Ned asking if he can meet me at home in two hours. Inside I know I should race back to get him from Delmars, but I feel like I need to do something first. I land on the platform at Avengers tower and head inside. I have no doubt F.R.I.D.A.Y has already alerted Mr. Stark of my entrance and when she speaks as I enter I know he knows,
"Mr. Stark is in his lab."
"Thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y." I take the stairs carefully down and when I get to the doors I pull my mask off and knock before entering. Mr. Stark has his back to me,
"If you're trying to sneak up on me you know it's not going to work." I can't help the smirk on my face and walk over to his table,
"Would I do that?" I question resting my elbow on his work bench, he holds out his hand and points to the table,
"Ah, ah, ah no elbows on the table." I pull back and stand up, "And to answer your question, yes. I do believe you live to scare me." I raise an eyebrow,
"I jumped off a bridge today," Mr. Stark turns towards me,
"See like that, ya just did it." I can't help but smile,
"Someone wanted to jump off of it today." Mr Stark keeps his eyes down, he's working on small motherboard, probably a new system to put into the Iron Man suit, "Do you ever feel like that." This time he looks up, he takes it a step farther when he puts his tools down and turns giving me his full attention,
"The more important question here, is do you?" I shrug,
"Sometimes I feel like standing up there, I don't think I would jump." Mr. Stark pushes his lips and nods,
"If you ever thing you would, I'd drag you back up here-"
"Spoil more Star Wars movies?"Mr. Stark nods,
"Yes, in fact theirs going to be a new TV show coming staring-" I hold my hand out,
"Stop- I won't jump, I promise."
"Good." He raises an eyebrow, "you'll come to me if you do, if you're feeling overworked, overstimulated, or overwhelmed got it." It's more of a demand and less of a question. I nod. The room suddenly feels warmer and orange glow grows across the table from where Mr. Stark and I stand. The orange glow grows into a circular portal and Dr. Banner steps through,
"Tony, Penny's at Trib...Penny?" I wave "I suppose I should have finished watching the news, before I came here." Dr. Banner claps his hands nervously,
"How did you get here Bruce?" Mr. Starks asks, immediately switching to sarcastic interrogation mode. Dr. Banner looks around nervously,
"Oh the portal?" He smiles, theirs a scared look behind that smile, "Right, I was with Strange, funny story we-"
"It's movie night" Dr. Strange informs from the other side of the portal before closing it, leaving Dr. Banner on our side. Mr. Stark raises an eyebrow,
"Movie night?" Dr. Banner plays around with his hands before speaking
"Mildred Pierce." Mr. Starks face scrunches
"A Joan Crawford movie?!" Bruce shrugs sheepishly,
"I like Zach Carson."
…
"He was right." Ned grumbles, "He was right about everything, Kylo Ren died and Rey really was a Palpatine." MJ grabs a full bucket of popcorn out of a man hand before he can throw it away. She takes a large hand full and stuffs it into her mouth and holds a the bucket out for me. I match her hand full,
"Yay, but technically Kylo became one with the force and he didn't die as Kylo, he died as Ben Solo, on the plus side he never told us about the kiss." I say around a mouth full of popcorn,
"Thanks for the spoiler Jerk!" Some guy shouts at me as we pass by,
"Hey get bent!" MJ Yells back,
"I'm so sorry." I turn apologizing only to be greeted with a middle finger. I sigh turning back to MJ and Ned, but stop.
"Penny?" Ned asks, "Hey are you coming?" I squint my eyes just to make sure what I'm looking at is real, it is. It's Cody. He has one arm around a girl the other a large slushie, a group of people around him. I smile when he smiles.
"Earth to Penny!" I turn towards MJ,
"What?"
"What are you looking at?" I shrug,
"Nothing." She rolls her eyes,
"You're being weird again, I'm going to the bathroom." She shoves her stolen bucket of popcorn in Neds arms. "Hold this." I wait for her to walk away, apparently Ned does too, because as soon as she's far enough away he closes the gap between us coming to squeeze next to me,
"Whats going on?"
"Remember the guy who was going to jump off the bridge?" He nods frantically, I motion over to Cody,
"Thats him?" I nod, "He looks happy?"
"He was committed after the incident, when he was released he started going to therapy," I look to Ned, "I asked Mr. Stark to help and he sent over a job offer in his field." Ned smiles,
"That's great." I turn back to Cody,
"He stayed here for tomorrow." I whisper.
"Do you wanna go talk to him?" I turn around giving Ned the dumbest look I can,
"And say what, hey I saved you a couple months ago." Ned shrugs,
"Well think of something fast because when MJ shows up she's going to want to head over to Billy's for unlimited frozen yogurt." It's out tradition after every movie, Ned pulls out a box of gummy bears, "I'll think I'll sneak these in, I don't like their gummies, the flavor's are all the same." I smile and take the box from his hand, "Heyy"
"Hey!" I stop some random kid running by, "I'll give you these if you can do something for me." He looks at the box of gummy bears,
"I want that popcorn too." He points to the bucket of stolen popcorn, I grab it from Neds arms and give it to him along with the gummy bears, he grabs both and nods. I reach into my pocket pulling out my movie ticket and then grab the spar pen from Neds pocket that he always keeps tucked in there. It lights up like a lightsaber when he uses it. Quickly I scribble out a note in a handwriting that's not my own and hand it to him.
"Take this to that guy over there, then run away okay?" He nods and grabs the movie ticket, before running off,
"Those were my gummy bears." Ned hangs his head down,
"I'll buy you another box before we leave."
"Are you goanna buy MJ a new bucket of popcorn too?"
"Shhhhhh" I wave him off, and watch the little boy run up to Cody dropping popcorn along the way. He holds it out and with a with a weird look Cody takes his arm off the girl and grabs the ticket, the little boy runs off. He looks it over before flipping it to the back. I watch as his eyes widen and he looks up searching the crowd for someone he'll never see. Ned watches with me,
"What did you write?"
"I'm glad we got to watch that movie together after all." I whisper turning back to Ned, a smile on my face, it drops when MJ walked up, staring down at our empty hands,
"Where's my popcorn?"