So this is a Caroline-centric chapter which I never expected to be so long (boy does Caroline like to be the center of attention). Don't worry, in the next chapter we will finally get to the Thanksgiving dinner.

Chapter 6

Caroline Bingley was frustrated, her weekend was just not turning out how she had expected it. She knew it was all well and good to come visit Charles and his wife for Thanksgiving with Louisa and Q. She thought she was being practical in going, telling herself, I must keep up family relationships, as I never know when I may need them. She ignored the fact (as it would be evidence that she was weak, that she actually had a heart rather than an icicle in her chest) that she really did want to see her brother and even Jane.

Traveling on Thanksgiving morning had been a nightmare for Caro. She had to wake up at the ungodly hour of 3 am to be at the Newark Airport by 4 am for the 6:20 flight and naturally she had trouble going to sleep the night before. Finally she slept for a couple of hours before suddenly jolting awake at around 2 am, a dream vivid before her. In the dream, she was going to her bed and in the process of pulling her blue covers down to climb in, she found it was already occupied by her dad, who was dressed like Santa Claus in a saggy red suit unbuttoned to his navel, with a fake beard of cotton balls, the top of his head (sans Santa hat) faintly shining by candlelight, and three small women about half his size wearing matching red and green striped pajamas with elf hats, each holding a doll in their arms. Two of the dolls were expensive American Girl dolls in period clothes (a girl and a boy) and the remaining girl doll was a very cheap knock-off, naked, showing her poorly formed limbs with tags of plastic where they inserted into her body, her painted brown eyes chipped and slightly askew.

It was obvious to Caroline just what that dream was about; it was about how she, her sister and her brother all had different moms and how it made Caroline feel about herself. While lying in bed, waiting for sleep to claim her again, Caroline traveled through memories. She started with remembering her childhood bedroom in their rental house. It was a ghastly shade of Pepto-Bismol pink alternating with stripes of Barney the Dinosaur purple. The stripes were created by painting alternate fake wood panels with each color. On one wall, right over her bed which had Little Mermaid sheets and a bright blue blanket, there was an 8x10 photo of Caroline with her father in a plastic dollar store frame.

Caroline could perfectly recreate the picture in her mind in the dark of Louisa's guest room. Her father, Charles Bingley, who her mother called Chaz, was wearing a dark suit with a white shirt and a green tie. A black wool overcoat hung open, with a brown and green plaid cashmere scarf loosely arranged over it. He had on black leather gloves but was not wearing a hat. His thinning red hair, streaked with some white hairs, flared out over his high pink forehead was somewhat windswept but he was standing very erect, confidently. Mr. Bingley was standing next to her in the snow holding her white mittened hand. Caroline guessed she was two or three at the time. She was wearing a light pink coat which was far too big for her, and the hood with its thin white fake-fur edging drooped far down and between it and the purple crocheted scarf she was wearing, almost her entire face was obscured but for her eyes and nose. She could not tell if she was smiling or not. Her father had a slight smile that did not show his teeth. She could not tell if he was actually happy or not. She spent so much time studying the people in the picture that it was years before she thought to ask her mother about the setting, a park with fluffy, leafy trees with concrete buildings behind it.

When she finally did, her mother explained, "When I found out I was expecting you, your dad was long gone; he'd gone back to New York City. But I knew the company he worked for so I figured I would be able to find him with some work. After you were born, I started trying to find Chaz, but I was busy trying to take care of you and New York City is a big place. I finally got some help from a local librarian and was able to get an address for his business. I sent him a letter with a picture of you. It took him a long time to write back, but he said it was your hair that convinced him that you were his. Later I drove all day to bring you to meet him. I remember being shocked by how much it cost to park my car in a parking lot. The picture is of the two of you in Central Park, near Strawberry Fields."

Caroline asked, "Why didn't you marry my dad?"

Her mother answered, "It wasn't like that. Chaz already had a family. He was just having fun, we both were; neither of us expected anything to come from it. But he did right by you; he sends money every month."

When Caroline was eleven, one evening she was eagerly talking to her mother about her scheduled school field trip to the roller skating rink the next day. Her mother had just given her a five dollar bill for snacks and Caroline was aware of the feel of the folded up bill in her jeans pocket and kept reaching into her pocket to caress her the bill, to reassure herself that it was still there.

Then, oddly enough, Caroline's mother told her, "You know you don't have to let a guy get in your pants just because he buys you a nice dinner." Caroline was confused, no one was taking her to dinner, and thanks to her mom she had enough money for her own snacks. Caroline didn't understand why her mother brought this up now, but then she thought that perhaps it was because she had been talking about the couples skate and if a boy from her class, Michael, might want to skate it with her.

Never one to let an opportunity to learn more about how she came to be pass her by (as after each new piece of the puzzle her mother typically clammed up again), Caroline asked, "Is that how you got me?"

"Well sort of." Her mom settled herself down on the couch beside Caroline, which was a sign that she was ready for a long talk and would not put her off. "I was young and dumb, only 19. Chaz wasn't like those young men that wait weeks to even come talk to you and then don't know what to say. I was working at a Waffle House and he stopped in at around 3 pm for a meal. He gave me a big grin when I took his order and when I brought it back to him he asked, 'When do you get off?' I told him and he said, 'Sweetheart, you've been working hard all day, a beautiful girl like you shouldn't have to work so hard and just to get lousy tips. Let me take you out for a proper meal so you can be waited on like you deserve.' I hesitated and while I was hesitating Chaz pulled out a money clip with a thick roll of cash and laid down a twenty and said, 'Keep the change.' I remember he only spent two or three dollars on his meal (he may have only gotten a pecan waffle) which meant it was the biggest tip I had ever gotten in my three months working there. I knew he was old enough to be my dad, likely older than that, and I saw the ring on his finger, but I liked his confidence so I accepted.

"Your father took me out to the best restaurant around. He talked to me about his business dealings and about growing up in Indiana like I did. Chaz did not talk down to me and he was patient when I asked him questions about his business (he was negotiating to buy a chain of hotels and keep the owners on as managers). After a three course meal he told me, 'Jennifer, I am going to take you back to my motel in Indy and we can work off that cheesecake.' I didn't say anything. I knew I could tell him 'no' but I liked that he was decisive, knew what he wanted and it felt special that who he wanted right then was me."

"You mean you slept with Dad the same day that you met him? My mom had a one-night stand?"

"Yes, but no. I mean I was with him that night, but he did like me. He kept seeing me the whole week he was in town for business, picking me up from Waffle House which was forty-five minutes away from where he was staying."

"I am never going to let someone use me like that," Caroline proclaimed. It was icky to imagine the man from the photo hugging and kissing her mother in a bed, even if she did not quite know what sex was from the movies she had seen, besides the technical description she had gotten in school.

"Well, Caroline, I guess you I think you are smarter than I was and maybe you are, but never is a long time."

A few months later, Caroline met her father for the first time that she was old enough to remember it when he was in Indianapolis on business. She remembered being so excited when he came to the door and almost launched herself into his arms before recollecting herself and pulling up short (he had not held his arms out like she had imagined a father would, instead he only gave her a slight smile and asked, "Is your mother ready yet?").

During the whole dinner, she felt like her parents were on a date and she was the interloper. While her mother tried to talk about Caroline, her father seemed much more interested in flirting with her mother than getting to know Caroline. Chaz said things like, "Jennifer, you haven't aged a day, you are still as beautiful as you were on the day I met you. If things had been different . . . but Mimi is a good woman and has stuck by me."

It was at this dinner that Caroline first learned she had a brother. She had been zoning out, trying to eat her risotto slowly, as her parents had done a lot more talking than eating and she did not want to be left with an empty plate, when she heard her father say, "Perhaps Caroline ought to visit me this summer; it would be good for Charlie and Mimi to meet her."

"Who are they?" Caroline asked.

"Why my son and wife. I still need to tell them about you, but Mimi is very understanding and she will have sympathy for your situation. Charlie might like having a younger sister."

When her dad brought them home (Caroline feeling unpleasantly full from having eaten a hot fudge sundae he had insisted on buying her), he asked, "May I come up, Jennifer?"

Her mother gave a nervous laugh and said, "I don't think that's the best idea Chaz." She played with her blonde hair. "You know the effect you have on me, but it wouldn't be right."

"Well, then why don't I take you out for some drinks?"

"Don't be silly, Caroline is too young to be left home alone."

"Well then we are back to you letting me come up."

"Okay then, but just to talk." While they didn't do much more than talk while Caroline was up, she did notice that her father started holding her mom's hand and before long he was rubbing her arm and staring into her eyes, completely ignoring Caroline.

Her mother giggled and then said, "Caroline, it is time to get ready for bed. Brush your teeth, get on your pajamas and then come back to say goodnight to your father."

When Caroline came back, she found her parents kissing. Her mother pulled away and told her, "Now say goodnight and go to bed."

"Goodnight Dad," Caroline told him. Distractedly he echoed, "Goodnight."

In the morning, Caroline got up and got ready for school herself as she normally did. She was just about to leave for her bus stop when she heard some noises in the kitchen and found her father there, in his underwear and an undershirt.

"Oh, hello dear," he told her, "off for school, are you?"

Caroline nodded.

"Well have a good day, dear," he told her.

As Caroline waited at the bus stop, she wondered if her father would be there where she got home. She also wondered if her father remembered her name as he had only called her "dear" that morning. He wasn't, but a few days later her mother received a letter which had a round trip ticket for Caroline.

That summer as a newly minted twelve-year-old, Caroline felt very brave riding on her first airplane by herself and resolved that no one should know she was not a seasoned traveler. She landed in Boston and was collected at the gate not by her father as she had hoped, but by a smiling woman only a few years older than her mother who said, "Hi Caroline, I'm Mimi, and will be your summer mom. You can call me Mom or Mom-too, or you can even call me Mimi, but please don't call me Mrs. Bingley; you are family." Without giving Caroline an opportunity she gave her a big hug, drawing her tightly into her fluffy short-sleeved sweater.

Caroline liked Mimi right away, but she was confused how blase Mimi seemed to be that she was the product of an affair. Caroline could never decide whether it had never bothered Mimi or whether she was just quick to forgive and forget. The only slight allusion to it was when Mimi mentioned, "You are so beautiful Caroline; I bet your mother is, too."

Mimi drove her to the Bingley summer home in Cape Cod in a convertible, first helping Caroline tie a bright scarf around her hair like they were movie stars, like that actress did in The Birds. Mimi drove fast and provided happy chatter, finding out all about Caroline and where she grew up. Caroline met her brother, a gangly teenager who seemed to be the male version of Mimi not in looks but because of his sunny personality, at the house (which was more mansion than house). While Caroline had hoped to spend a lot of time with her dad and brother, she ended up spending it mostly with Mimi. Although she saw him for dinner that day, mostly Mr. Bingley seemed to be living in Manhattan and only coming to Boston some weekends. Her brother was busy playing tennis and golf, neither of which Caroline was at all proficient in, despite his best attempts to teach her, and going out with his friends while Caroline played board games with Mimi who apparently had the impression that she was still a little kid and wanted to play Operation, Life and Trouble. Mimi also took her shopping and got her expensive clothes. She told Caroline, "I always wanted a daughter."

It was a couple weeks into that first visit when Caroline started looking through a while photo album tucked in a bookshelf. It turned out to be a wedding album from when her father married Mimi. It was obvious to Caroline that Mimi was pregnant in the picture, although she was cutely pregnant with a basketball bulge rather than looking ready to pop. In one of the pictures there was a young girl with her father and step mother, who was holding a basket of flowers.

"Who is that?" Caroline asked Mimi, pointing to the girl.

"Oh, the flower girl? That's your big sister, Louisa. She's from your dad's first wife." And that was how Caroline first learned she had a sister.

Caroline started putting together the pieces of how she, her sister and brother came to be during that visit, but her brother did not know why their father had divorced his first wife. She spent hours asking her brother Charlie about her sister before he finally volunteered, "Why don't we call her? Maybe she can come down for a visit."

Oddly enough when they called, Louisa hadn't known she had a sister either. When Caroline got off the phone with Louisa she asked Charlie, "Why didn't we know about each other before?"

"I dunno," he answered, "maybe because Dad is close lipped about such things. I only found out about you a few months ago. For all I know he has a bunch more children out there."

Later on in the summer, Louisa came to visit for two weeks. She was in college but still took the time to take Caroline to the movies and shopping. They kept in contact and Louisa always remembered to get Caroline something for Christmas and her birthday.

When Caroline moved to New York City at age 18, it was Louisa who met her at the airport and helped her set up her dorm room at Barnard College. Caroline was grateful for Louisa and she always had been. This Thanksgiving trip was a typical example. Louisa had made all the arrangements, including invited her to stay with them the night before so that they could all go to the airport together.

Caroline was not able to go back to sleep, or at best had only fitfully dozed before the beep Beep BEEP BEEP! of the alarm made her roll out of bed and begin getting dressed. Minutes later, a sleepy Caroline, Louisa and Q were climbing in a car service sedan for the ride to Newark, their suitcases stowed in the trunk. Caroline was trying to get her makeup down during the drive, which wasn't easy while the driver tried to get them to the airport in record speed. Caroline managed to apply makeup a piece at a time each time they were stopped at a stoplight; foundation, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, blush each were added in sequence. But then when there was nothing left to do, Caroline began analyzing what it meant to be her father's third child with the wisdom of an adult.

Unlike when she was a child, Caroline now understood that her father's first marriage failed because he became too successful too quick and had resented being tied to the ordinary woman, Molly, who had put him through school. Molly was a "starter wife" who had Louisa just as soon as Chaz took over supporting the family with his accounting degree. From what Caroline could gather, her father was ambitious and not satisfied with living an ordinary life. He began investing their money in the stock market and became very successful day trading. Somehow he then parlayed his skill into starting his very own investment brokerage house where he made bank by making rich people even richer and also grew his own money further by acquiring other businesses.

Soon enough Chaz senior traded Molly in for a younger and hotter trophy wife. The new model was Mimi, the daughter of one of those rich men. She was twenty-three and he was forty-two when they met, marrying after his quickie divorce in which he settled a third of his net worth on Molly with a fat trust fund for Louisa, who was five at the time. It was necessary as Mimi was already six months gone with Charles junior.

Caroline had trouble respecting her mother when she learned how she came to be. Caroline learned the story piecemeal as she grew up. As she often reflected back on it from the perspective of the adult she had become, she thought, It would have been one thing if Mom had made a calculated choice to get pregnant and bleed my rich father for all she could in child support, or to parley their interaction into becoming his mistress and having him set her up in a posh apartment in New York City, but instead Mom settled for taking whatever scraps he gave her, gave us, and was oddly proud of it.

The traffic to the airport was heavy even though it was early yet, and when they finally were dropped at the curb, they discovered the airport was packed. The line to even check her bag outside on Delta, was more than twenty people long. "You are going to wait with me aren't you?" Caroline asked Louisa.

Louisa shook her head in negation. "I told you that you shouldn't check a bag, Caro. We only packed carry-ons and getting through security will take a long time, so making the flight could be tight with this other line. Hopefully you'll get through alright and we'll meet you at the gate."

Caroline scowled, but did not protest. She knew where the line lay in pushing her sister too far and (a very small part of her admitted) she knew it wasn't right to insist on her sister waiting with her. Her feet were protesting, however, as they had been forced into two inch high heels which were a half a size too small. She knew they weren't practical (though they were more practical than the three and a half inch heels she had been considering that made her legs look amazing), and had almost worn her running shoes instead, but that little nagging thought of What if someone important is in the airport? had made her wear them with her designer jeans. As a result Caroline had been forced to wait in the huge security line by herself and joy of joys, not, a family with a passel of children was right in front of her.

Caroline didn't mind children in principle. She could even imagine having a child herself, a lovely blonde girl who looked and acted like the children on catalogue pages: clean, well dressed and looking adoringly up at the mother who had dressed them that way. If I ever have a daughter, Caroline reflected, she will get into the best schools, make friends with important people and shatter all those glass ceilings, but the only way to make that happen is to get her the right father! Caroline felt that rather than clawing at her own glass ceilings that she'd been trying to climb an entire building made of glass, unable to find purchase after the first couple of floors. There was so much old money in New York and despite the vocal lessons which had tamed her Midwest accent, and getting her masters at NYU, she wasn't anyone to those who mattered. And beneath that thought, which she never wished to acknowledge to anyone, not even herself, was that her father hadn't cared to know much more about her than what was readily accessible on the surface.

Caroline tried to distract herself from her morose thoughts and her rising panic that she might not be able to get to the gate in time by focusing on the family in front of her. She noted that the four children in front of her in line, none of whom appeared to be older than ten, were nothing like placid catalog children and certainly nobodies. Caroline had plenty of time to study them because the line was so slow. Each child who was walking bore a small backpack with a super hero or Disney character and they were all still wearing pajamas, but they weren't the matching, pristine pajamas Caroline had seen on an Old Navy commercial (although those were of course terribly gauche Caroline could see a bit of charm in that). No, these children were wearing pajamas where even their own tops and bottoms did not match, with one girl wearing a Ninja Turtle top with a Tinkerbell bottom. At least the ambulatory children were blessedly quiet as all the children, save the youngest who was being pushed by his mom in a stroller, sucked on candy canes.

The younger girl of the two girls noticed Caroline looking at her and proclaimed, "Look, my candy cane fits where my tooth was; I can close my teeth and still suck on it!"

She demonstrated and Caroline despite her inclination to remain an aloof traveler, replied, "That's cool. Do you know you can suck through a straw through that spot also?"

The girl nodded and grinned, showing off her missing front tooth and the other adult tooth which was just beginning to emerge.

Caroline was preparing to have a protracted conversation with this girl; it seemed inevitable. The line was slow and she and the girl were both bored. She did not much look forward to the inanities they might exchange, but it just might distract her from her aching feet. But just then, the girl's mother said, "Lucy, try not to bother our fellow travelers. Sorry, Miss."

Caroline declined to try to maintain the conversation by giving the traditional, "She's no bother at all," but she still oddly felt bereft.

Suddenly the baby in the stroller started wailing and the mother suddenly stopped as she worked to free him from the stroller. Caroline got a good view of him, or at least she thought it was a him judging from his blue sleeper as the mother worked to soothe him. Rapidly his wailing progressed to screaming. The mom told her husband (who was in front of the children, apparently to hem them in), "I think Edmund is trying to poop." Just then a loud sound, a wet slurpy, gurgly sound, erupted from the baby.

Edmund? It wasn't that unusual of a name, but still a theory began to form in her mind about what the other children might be named.

Edmund stopped his crying and then the smell hit Caroline. It was horrible, truly horrible, reminding her of the stink the one and only one time she had been forced to use a Honey Bucket at a fair when she was a child, but she was trapped in the long weaving line with this family with no place to go. The mom looked around, too, apparently wishing to escape to change the baby, but she was stuck, also. "I'm so sorry Miss," the woman addressed Caroline and then looking around said, "and all of you; babies have their own timing."

The other passengers behaved like typical New Yorkers (which is what most of them were even though the airport was in New Jersey) and ignored her apology, but as the woman's warm brown eyes met Caroline's, Caroline commented, almost against her own will, "I understand. I hope he is not too uncomfortable."

Apparently the current state of affairs was upsetting the baby, as Edmund began crying again, a discontented sound rather than the prior frantic wail. Just then the line started moving again and the mother tried to pull the stroller one handed while holding the baby.

Caro could see what a disaster that was immediately and found herself oddly enough volunteering, "I can push the stroller for you, ma'am."

"Oh thank you!" the woman gushed, giving her a bright smile. But Caro soon recognized that no good deed goes unpunished for now as Caro pushed, the woman seemed compelled to chat. Caroline tried not to pay much attention, thinking, Why should I listen to her, it is not as if she is anyone important or anyone I will meet again. But then when the woman said something about her daughter Susan, Caroline wondered, was it possible that this mom had named her four children after the children in a Lion a Witch and a Wardrobe? She couldn't help but satisfy her curiosity, asking "By any chance is your other son Peter?"

The woman replied, "Well it seems as if you have found me out." She spent the next ten minutes talking about how much the Narnia books had meant to her as a child, all the while waving the disgustingly smelly infant around near Caro to try to get him to stop crying. More juicy sounds burst forth from the child and Caro was hit with another wave of stink, but at least mercifully Edmund ceased crying again. However, she saw the spreading wave of brown soaking through the back of his sleeper and felt compelled to point it out to the woman, who told her, "Oh, thank you. You are so kind. You are like my guardian angel today. Most New Yorkers would just ignore our plight. You aren't from New York originally, are you?"

Caro was saved an answer (she was embarrassed by her Indiana roots), as the mother plucked a light blanket from the stroller and wrapped it around the baby to cover the stain and crooned to Edmund in the tones that some women used with children and others with dogs, "We are going to have a lot of stinkys with us today, aren't we? I hope your three outfits are enough to get us to Memaw's house!"

They had another twenty minutes together which the mother used to try to get to know Caroline. Caroline found herself giving the woman her name, "Caroline Bingley, but I prefer Caro."

The woman thought to herself, Karo? Like Karo corn syrup? Who would want to be called that? but was far too kind-hearted to voice that comment, instead saying, "Oh, but Honey, Caroline is a beautiful name, just like that Caroline Ingalls and you are just as kind as her. I have an old fashioned name myself, Margaret; some people call me Maggie, but I like the full name. But Caroline, why are you trying to be someone you are not, dressing this way and all?" the woman gestured to Caroline's outfit.

Caroline had no answer or at least not one that she wanted to tell Margaret. Caroline wanted to be the best but she always had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach that she would never measure up. It seemed like there was always someone smarter, prettier and more cut-throat in the city; a woman who smiled to your face and remembered your cat's name, might be the first to stab you in the back and these were the people who got ahead. It was why Caroline always took such care of her appearance and tried so hard to be successful at her job, her first real job since graduating from her masters program the year before.

Although Caroline was not yet twenty-three, she was already considering if she might benefit from Botox, and she was also pondering if she should get a breast enlargement. She diligently ran every day to keep in shape even though she mostly hated the activity (although she liked it when there were scenic vistas to distract her from how her muscles burned), and carefully watched everything she consumed, but being slim also meant she had a smaller bust.

One good thing came out of the debacle with the large family. Airport security allowed her to follow the family through the non-full body scanner line (she supposed because they thought her an aunt or something as she was still pushing the stroller) and she had not had remove her shoes. That was a good thing as it might have been hard to get them back on. But even after passing security, the mom apparently thought that Caroline was her personal helper as she asked, "Caroline, can you push the stroller to the next restroom? Eddie has his hands full." Caro saw that the handsome man with chocolate hair who had apparently produced all these infants, was carrying the toddler, Peter, while he held hands with Lucy and used his voice to compel Susan to stay near. Caroline wondered if the father was an Edmund, too. She also wondered what name the woman would choose if she had another child; she hoped for the sake of any future child that it would not be Eustace, which sounded way too much like useless.

"Of course," Caroline said; she did not see any way she could get out of this task without being incredibly rude and it was obvious the woman needed help.

"Potty break girls," the mom yelled and the two girl children ran over to their mom. Fortunately the restroom was not too far away and it was even in the direction of the gate Caroline needed to reach. The mom wrenched open the family restroom door she and her daughters went in. Caro wasn't sure what to do, but the mom answered her question by pushing the door back open and saying, "Come on in."

Caroline found herself wheeling the stroller into the family restroom, but then excused herself as politely as she could, "It was nice meeting you, Margaret."

She walked to the gate and met up with Louisa and Q, thinking that she would never see Margaret again, but God or the universe or fate had other ideas, for who should she see just before family boarding was announced but Margaret and her family, little Edmund now happily cooing and flashing his gummy, toothless smile. But still, Caroline didn't think this was too much of a coincidence until she got on the plane and found that her window seat was not next to Louisa and Q as she had anticipated, but next to Lucy and Margaret, with Edmund sitting on Margaret's lap.

"Louisa!" Caroline called to her sister just behind her, "I think these people have the wrong seats. I am 23A and aren't you B and C?"

"I knew you weren't listening when I told you that the flight was almost sold out and we didn't have seats together; Q and I are in 34 B and C. We'll see you after the flight."

"Can't I trade with Q?" Caroline asked desperately. Margaret was nice enough but Carolina did not want to be stuck next to the pooping wonder.

Louisa glanced at the other occupants of row 23. "Not a chance."

But the flight had not been so bad as little Edmund had slept almost the entire time (after Margaret nursed him, which Caroline did her best to pretend was not happening) and Lucy was watching some movie on an I-Pad. Somehow after hours of chit-chat, with Margaret asking Caroline adroit detail about her upbringing, Caroline found herself confiding in Margaret, bit by bit. The information first dripped out like a drizzle. She told Margaret how she missed her father, had not expected him to die so young. "He was the first one who called me Caro. I don't think he liked that my mom named me Caroline."

But then the drizzle soon became a downpour. Caroline told Margaret about being the child of an affair, about growing up being raised by a single mom and about getting a first glimpse at age 12 about how privileged her father and siblings were. She told Margaret about how she had always wanted to earn her father's approval and to become someone important herself.

"I became an accountant because my dad was one, too. I thought if I could prove myself that he might help me along in my career, that I might even succeed him someday, but instead when he died the company went to my brother Charles who has no business acumen. It was a good thing he sold it off, because he would have tanked it, but still to see my father's hard work reduced into just a sale number, that was hard. And so I lost my father and my dreams all in one year, but I think my sister and brother don't understand what it was like for me, because I didn't spend as much time with Dad as they did. I know I shouldn't be resentful. My father did pay for me to go to college and left me some money, I am set up well enough with a trust fund, but I wanted him to care about me, to see my value, and now that chance is gone forever. Maybe all children who are raised by a single mom feel that way."

"Oh, Caroline," Margaret gave her hand a squeeze. It was rather familiar of her, but Caroline knew that she herself had greatly exceeded the bounds of polite airplane conversation, found that oddly enough she did not mind. Suddenly, Caroline found herself leaning into Margaret, which was awkward while being strapped in the narrow seats next to each other. But Margaret seemed more than willing to share in the awkward embrace with little Edmund asleep against her right shoulder.

Margaret said, "There, there, dear. Caroline, you have had it rough, but you are still so young. You aren't limited in who you can be, but if you hold onto resentment and make decisions out of fear you will remain stuck in a prison of your own making. Let yourself be free to find your own path in life. You are so fortunate to have siblings even if you don't always see eye-to-eye. It sounds like they have always treated you like a sister."

"That's true, but I can't help but want to be someone."

Perhaps the conversation would have continued further, but then Edmund woke up and Lucy wanted a snack and then the moment was past, with Caroline just feeling a bit embarrassed by how much she had confided in a stranger.

When their flight had landed, but they were waiting to taxi, Margaret pressed her card into Caroline's hand. "I think I may have a job opportunity for you."

"Thank you for the offer," Caroline said, "but I have a job and I would be a lousy nanny."

"I don't think you would be a lousy nanny, you are a caring enough person, but that wasn't what a had in mind. I am not sure if it would be right for you, but I would like to talk to you more about it."

Caroline thanked her and shoved the card without even looking at it into her purse. They parted warmly and Caroline felt emotionally rung out. Perhaps it was confiding in Margaret, perhaps it was just the dream and the complete lack of sleep.

Then of course it turned out that Caroline's suitcase had not made it to Indiana. She was stuck with the clothes she was wearing, her purse (which had her makeup and a book for the flight that she had never even opened) and her coat. After filing out a form, Caroline rejoined her sister and brother in law who were impatiently waiting for her. Although Louisa didn't say a word that was not sympathetic, Caroline could help but hear in her mind Louisa's voice saying, "You should have brought a carry on instead."

When they finally made it to Charles's house, Caroline was in a mood, and Caroline in a mood was a right terror. She was mad and everything and everybody. And of course Charles and Jane were the easiest targets, especially when Caroline found out that Darcy was coming.