forever meaning
I asked Daniel once " what is the meaning of forever?" . "how long is forever going to be ?".
I was so angry, so afraid. every time Amaunet was talking to me she always told me that Daniel will give me his back and leave to find a new wife that she didn't defile, didn't commit adultery, didn't carry a child with another man.
but he keeps telling me that he would love me cross time.
In the tent, I asked him " you hate me?" No one knows how heavy those words are on my heart ... he answers " no ". Repeat" no, I love you " the joy I feel when I hear this word ...
but I have to ask him I have to know " do you forgive me ?" I bow my head down ... but he came for me, turn me around and hugged me tight, and told me this word that stops Amaunet's voice " there is nothing to forgive ".
I tried to run from his arms, confess to him ashamed of my sins but he didn't let me go he keeps me "I hate what has been done to you ... I hate what Apophis plans for a child grow inside of you ... look at me ... I love you ... everything else ."
keep reminding me "I love you ." I feel all my pain has gone, all the time inside that prison it's over by hearing his voice.. my tears and smile ... bury myself in his arms.
" will you stay ?" I didn't want to lose him or this feeling of safety.
" I can't. " I put my eyes down couldn't look at his eyes knowing I will lose my time with him once Amaunet wakes up, I won't be able to be with him ... He raises my face with his hand to look him in the eyes and says: "because I want you to come home with me".
I won't waste time away from him.
we were sitting all alone in the North Cave after we have discovered it, Daniel was extremely happy.
we keep reading the wall, laughing, moving around the cave, hugging each other, and finally making love, after it, we sat closer and I asked him again.
what meant forever. I was afraid that he said for as long as I can remember is that means when we grow older and he started to forget me he will be no longer love me.
or he will tell me, as long as I can breathe. that means when he died it is the end, in the Abydonian the married don't get a break after the death. but my Daniel is not from here.
still, all he told me this will not be, he has a love for me will never change, I will belong to him forever and he would be mine, and in every turn in our life, we're going to succeed together. we're going to make it.
We couldn't make it, I said goodbye to my father going with my husband for his world. once we get to the pyramid I hear it, it was the Goa'uld ship and Ammonet the demon moves quickly and controls me.
I hear Daniel's " Sha're, fight this thing "... " You have to hold .. on a little longer, please". I get stronger or she sleeps, I don't know. I say my beloved name of and he reassures me before I start screaming, the pain. I went into labor...
My Daniel takes me to our cave.
We lost the chance to escape. Apophis come to take me and the child, the worse, I caused Daniel to stay here in Abydos, I know how much Apophis wants to get his hand on my husband and his friends.
I feel a labor contraction, but my Daniel told me that I still have some time. he's trying to comfort me but my mind is not comfortable.
"When the pain comes you have to breathe ".
"It comes too soon".
"The baby would be fine you just have to worry about getting through this yourself".
"When the child comes father, the demon will return".
"I know".
"Apophis comes for me".
"It wasn't a ship of Apophis, "
"then who ?"
"it was Heru'ur .."
It got worse. If Apophis takes the child I may see him, but if Heru'ur takes him I will never see him and he may die between the war... I will lose my child.
"He is a great enemy of Apophis, he will take my child "
"It's okay, breath, breath... this is where we get from Ra. remember?"
The memory of that time hit me and shook my head "I remember"
"We safe here."
I trust Daniel's word but not so long
"you aren't correct, Daniel Jackson. If it is Sha're who Heru'ur Seeks, he will find us. we cannot remain."
For the safety of my Daniel, he has to leave. but I'm so selfish to tell him that, I want to stay a little longer in his arms it is warm instead of that cold I lived for a year.
"well, I'm not leaving her"
Listen to what between my husband and Apophis ex-First Prime.
"The moment the child is born the Goa'uld within Sha're will be merged."
it is a tough word, don't want to hear it because it's true.
"I said I'm not leaving her, Teal'c."
The pain is bothering me, but my husband's tenderness is all the comforts I need.
"Then I will do what I can to keep does guards away from you."
Teal'c has left the place, and I couldn't believe what I heard my husband say he will stay with me knowing that everywhere is dangerous for him. with a Cool damp cloth, he was wiping my face and kissing my cheek with love. is that mean ...
"You do love Me."
"Yes, I do. "
We had a huge fight yesterday for the first time in our marriage, my Daniel yelling in my face I said a bad word too, so he didn't sleep in our bed and he left before I wake. usually, he waits for me to make breakfast and eat together, the worst is he didn't even come back at dinner time. I keep waiting for him. he came after bedtime I know he did that because you don't want to talk with me.
My Daniel silence hurt me, why does my husband keep things from me keep his heart far from me. I give him all my heart. A woman in the city told me that My husband pampers me a lot, that I don't deserve to be Wife to the fighter of the False gods, I make a lot of mistakes.
When he back he go so far away from me, starting to write in his Journal.
I can't stand being outside his heart. I got close and sat in front of him, I apologized to him for everything. I don't even care what's the reason caused the problem. He raised his head and looked at me. put his book away, stretched out his hands. That's all I want, put me closer to him, tell me that he's away from me because of his past, tell me everything about the pain he went through before he knew me and that the day before yesterday was the anniversary of his parent's death.
We kept talking to each other until the middle of the next day, we were hungry, neither of us ate without the other all day long, and yet we were happy to complete each other. I told him about judgments of injustice that we lived here under Ra Authority.
But here I am again under Amaunet authority I don't want that, don't want to give birth I want to stay with my beloved husband Daniel.
I cried out in pain," Daniel".
"it's alright, sh'are. push."
"No, the demon will come back."
"you have to push."
"but I lose you, Daniel, please."
"look at me."
"ah, please."
"look at me, I love you. I will always love you, do you understand. The Goa'uld will never be able to take this from us, do you understand ... never"
"oh, Daniel. The pain comes again."
"I'm here."
" Daniel"
"I'm here and now the baby is here and you have to push."
"Forgive me"
I give myself to the pain, and push hard my baby out, knowing I'm lost in myself to the demon. hoping if my husband would forgive me, protect my child, and find me free to live with him what I want to.
Hear my husband's voice announcing that.
"It's a boy."
I have already lost control over my body to Amaunet, and she heard this too.
She didn't care about my physical pain, moved hard.
"Give me the child"
It's like when we were in a Chulak's palace, I can see and hear but I can't control myself. My husband got away from me, I looked at the face of my beloved carrying my child, sadness clouds his face.
Heru'ur's Jaffa entered the cave, even Amaunet was afraid of losing the child to her master's enemy.
" Bring me the child of Apophis."
I looked at Daniel and wanted to yell at him, don't give him the child. But he moved towards Heru'ur's Jaffa. He chooses to give the child to whom.
" Apophis, my Pharaonic. It will destroy you both for this. "
I know that this threat will not go unnoticed, Amaunet will ignite the war, will send a lot of spies to track a child. Heru'ur Disrespec for Apophis or her, putting his eye on the child, was a point of no return among the System Lords war.
"tell Apophis that Heru'ur has taken the son as his own."
Amaunet and I were hit by Zat'nik'tel.
I woke up and found no one, but I was able to control my body. I got up and moved towards the city hoping to meet my father. Amaunet woke up angry about everything, I took the royal clothes, put them on, wait for Apophis to come. I persuaded Amaunet to go to the gate, so as not to harm the people of Abydos.
I moved faster than I could and eventually reached the pyramid. I heard Apophis' voice giving his orders to his Jaffa to find his Queen.
"I'm here, My Pharaoh."
As soon as I entered gateroom I felt the presence of my husband, I moved my eyes, so as not to draw attention to him.
"The Child".
" stolen, by your enemy Heru'ur".
"Forgive me, pharaoh. for failure you."
I feel disgusted by Apophis' tender touch of Amaunet, but she is happy. Look at my husband and at the pain that covers his face, it burns my heart, that I am the reason for this. Amaunet wants to acknowledge to her master the existence of the people of the Tau'ri here. I control my body and convince myself that I have to save my husband and his friends.
He extends his hands to me. I accept it knowing that I'm breaking my husband's heart. For the safety of Daniel and his friends.
" come home with me, my queen."
Once again, I look at my husband tell him goodbye and walk across the chappa'ai with Apophis.
But this time I have something I didn't have before, I know what he will do when I being a prisoner. so I would wait for him to find me, take me to his home. every time Amaunet tries to say something to make me feel break or suspicious or wonder about my husband's love for me, this time I know how to answer, stop it, fight for it.
My Daniel, Fight for me so I will fight Hard too. my heart and soul I will keep it safe.
He told me that he loves me FOREVER and now I know what's that means.
I made old dialogue From the year of marriage, updated it, and mixed it up with all Daniel and Sha're scenes of Secrets episode.
Mostly this episode is beloved by many and a lot has been written about it. Why not, I love it too. I hope you like what I wrote... Thanks for reading.
The truth is.. the birth in the episode was very fast, and I know that this is not real, And I think the distance between the pyramid and the caves is good enough to give me time to add dialogue between Daniel and Sha're.