Chapter 1-Reaping 69th games
The water is particularly cold today. Its overcast, grey sky and thick clouds coat the sky. They prevent the sun from warming the frigid water. It's like the weather knows the tone of the district today. Soon thunder will roll in. The rain will pour, and the sea will grow uncontrollably. White waves crashing against the shore. It will rage in protest. But for now, the water is still. The occasional rock of a wave rises to my knees. The lull lowers it to my ankles. Despite my pants being bunched up, the edges still get caught by some stray water. My shoes are set to my left side. My right remains empty.
This is the second year I am alone on this deck. An annual tradition I used to share. Ma asked me if I was still planning on going to the deck out back this year. I wasn't going to originally, it ached too much last year. It only brought sorrow and pain. Something still pulled me here though. Lana would say I am a sucker for pain, a masochist. Yet, I know her eyes linger on the drawing of the three of us he paid a classmate to draw and she still wraps her pillow in a shirt of his I gave her when she feels lonely. It hurt still, but not as much as before. Almost a good kind of pain.
I'm only 40 feet out from my house, but I can't hear my mom wrangling Ridley into nicer clothes. I can imagine it though. She always pays particular attention to the mess he calls hair. I think it suits him, but today he'll have to keep it far more tidy than normal. He'll be running around the house, knocking into things and Ma will be chasing him. As soon as she fixes his hair, slicking it down with water he'll run his hands through it, might even rub some sand in, just to annoy her. Maybe I should go back and help her out. Ridley is not easy to manage. Dad certainly won't help, he loved Ridley's antics. Says it reminds him of when I was younger. Running around, with a shadow and Ma chasing us. Ridley still manages to cause the same amount of chaos despite only being one person though. As much as I love chasing Rid around I don't think I have the energy today.
I can't bring myself to leave the deck. I feel far more connected to Montane here. I can still remember sitting here in silence. Just us and the sound of the sea. Even before we entered the reaping we would sit out here before going to watch. Walking, hands brushing past each other on our way to the Justice Building. Only letting go to separate when we had to. It was always him and me. Me and him. The cliche of always being together applied to us. Well, except that brief time I was with Gilli, puppy love and all that.
Montane and I were so sure we were going to be here together last year. Every year. It didn't cross my mind that we wouldn't always be together. It was windy then too. We planned to go ou ton the boat later that day. My eyes water, but I don't think that's necessarily from the harsh wind. Chills wrap themselves around my arms and legs. I don't want to leave. I don't feel alone here. I know I have to though. It's best not to be late.
I don't have time to wait for my feet to dry up. Pulling my feet up from the chilled water still dripping, I shove them harshly into my shoes. I end up hopping around for a while before I can get my left shoe on. I rush a little bit at the beginning of the walk. Water still drips down my legs. Running down with chills following their trails. The wind whips my hair around my face and I get a mouthful of hair. Lovely. All of that work, to make it look nicer, and it ends up just as messy as Ridley's. A defining trait of a Moher is our wild hair, but the Peacekeepers won't care about that. As I start heading towards the center of the district, I see a couple of kids from class, and a few I recognize from the year above me. I nod to some of them, a couple of people wave to me and I wave back. I slow down to a steady pace now that I'm caught up to most of them.
I search the crowd. Eyes flickering over people, looking for one in particular. It's Lana that comes up and hooks her arm through mine. The other half that is left, of the three amigos. She constantly got mistaken for being my sister. She was the closest thing I had to a sister anyways. She was practically a third twin. Even looked a little like us too. Our skin is the same shade of tan and she shared our brown hair, just a bit darker. The only differences were our eyes. Her's are brown, almost gold in the sun, whereas our's... Mine are blue. The teachers always said the similarities were eerie. A little too much of a coincidence.
She is silent for the most part. Like me, she is dressed up a bit. She has on the only dress she owns. It's a tan shade and falls to her knees. It's weird to not see her in a flowy shirt and brown trousers. She only asks a single question. "You good?"
I only have to give her a look to convey my feelings. My eyebrows draw together, my head gives a slight tilt to the right, and my mouth pulls. She's good like that. She nods and we continue on our way.
We enter the line and slowly get closer to the peacekeepers. Practically their own sea of white. They all carry weapons at their waist. Bulky armor and thick gloves as protection. With a sharp prick on our pointer fingers and a couple of steps, we make it to our block. We are surrounded by other girls our age, most I recognize from having at least one class with at some point. Gilli is a few people to our right. At one point I thought she was the most beautiful person to ever exist. With a head full of messy curls. Curls so tight that her hair only reaches her shoulders. They are always immaculate, very unlike my untamable hair. She's tall, one of the tallest girls in our grade. With full cheeks and sterling eyes, she is easily still one of the more beautiful people in the district. Easily meets the saying: a tall drink of water. We make eye contact. She sends a warm smile my way. I try to reciprocate, but I think it just makes me look like I am in pain.
Lana notices Gilli glancing our way and gives a harsh stare of her own towards her. She is still angry on my behalf with our breakup. She feels like Gilli abandoned me in my grief. I never really felt like that though. She stuck with me for a while after the games. She was there when she could be, but after a while, she said she couldn't keep me afloat and still stay afloat herself. Which was understandable. We parted on good terms, but it's still a little awkward.
Lana and Montane were the only people that knew. It's kinda weird to be dating a girl. Not common here. A little more common in the capital, but that's the capital. Lana and Gilli are the only ones who know I like girls now. Gilli was made when she found out I told Lana we were together, that was the only fight we ever had. I still love her. Not like I used to, but I'm always told a first love never goes away and that kinda describes what I feel towards her now. Lana has nothing but hate for her though, and the feelings are mutual. That is clearly seen through the staring contest they are having with each other now.
I'm startled out of my thoughts when the mayor starts on their annual capital speech.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Today, we select 24 tributes, who will fight for their lives and to honor their districts in the 69th Hunger Games.
Some time ago, our nation weathered earthquakes, floods, and storms, and fire swept across our lands, but we were strong and our country was raised from those ashes. But then, the Capital and its 13 districts surrounding it, grew and the districts rebelled. So the capital had to defeat this dangerous rebellion and district 13 was destroyed, along with hundreds of people. So nothing like this ever happens again, the hunger games were created. Each of the 12 districts has to offer a boy and a girl between the ages of 12 and 18.
Here we are in district 4 ready to give the opportunity for a boy and girl to win the games and bring honor, glory, fame, and riches to themselves, their family, and our district. Good luck to those tributes.
She ends her speech with her and the capital's favorite saying, 'and may the odds be ever in your favor'. As she was making the speech my eyes caught on the victors behind her. Most faces are flat, emotionless, some even bored. The special few held fire in their eyes and rage in their body. Arms crossed and tense, muscles taught, teeth clenched. Those were the ones I focused on now.
Finnick, our most recent victor, was only 2 years older than me. The capital goes gaga over him. Practically worship him as if he's a god. He is mentoring this year. He has a smile plastered on his face whenever the camera pans to him. Grin so wide, I swear I can see all of his teeth.
I never really paid attention until last year. Montane would have been up there if he had made it. Sitting next to them. He would have shot me a crooked smile, or a goofy face to calm me down.
Iggy comes onto the stage, ready to draw the tributes. He's wearing a bright purple giant fur coat today. It matches his hair, which is in a weird intricate updo. He has on the tightest pair of pants I ever have seen and is sporting some pink eyebrows? I question capital fashion sometimes. He steps up to the microphone and I can see his nails from here. They look like they are filed into claws. They are pretty long, and I imagine it is hard to do anything with them. Then again, he doesn't really do anything.
"Hello District 4. I am so happy to be here and have the honor of calling the names here in district 4". Igg has a weird capital accent like it's lifting up, almost forming a question when he really is just stating something. It gets annoying after a few sentences.
With that, he walks up to the girls' bowl. My heart is pounding. I look back to find my family. My Dad stands close to my Ma with his arm reaching around her. Her hands are on Ridley's shoulders. To either keep him still for once or to have something to hold. Maybe both. I can see Ma lean towards my Dad, their foreheads touching as if they are drawing strength from each other. I hold my breath. My family can't afford another death. Not after Montane. Not again. Not so soon.
Lana is holding my hand. I can feel her squeeze it. I squeeze back as tight as I can. Iggy reaches his hand into the bowl. He almost places his hand in. Digging deep. It takes forever. I don't know if that's because time seems too slow or if he really takes a long time. Capitalites like to draw these things out. After all, it's a game to them.
He pulls up a slip of paper and unfolds it. I can see some people swaying side to side. I really hope Cori was telling the truth when she said she would volunteer.
"Hem Hem. And the female tribute for the 69th Hunger Games is Maria Moher!"
My heart skips a beat. I wait. Wait for someone to volunteer. Wait to wake up from this old nightmare. Wait for Iggy to say he misread the ink on that stupid little piece of paper. My eyes flicker to Coral. Please. Please. We might not be friends but please Coral. Follow what you said.
She doesn't.
I can't hear anything. Just the sound of my heart. I make sure my head is up. While I can't look confident I try to hide my emotions. My pace is steady as I head to the stage. I am still waiting to wake up. Waiting for Coral to volunteer. The next thing I know I am on stage and Iggy is heading over to the adjacent glass filled with the boy's name.
I try to look confident now. I know my chances are slim. I am on the younger side, and I didn't look confident earlier. Sponsors are the most important thing. The Games start now. I need to shake off these nerves if I am going to make it home. I need to win. Ridley cannot lose another sibling. Ma and Dad cannot lose another kid. Not after Montane.
I still can't hear, but I know Iggy calls out a name. Because someone raises their hand and makes their way to the stage. They are almost there when another boy rushes forward. Why do they get a volunteer and I didn't? What are the chances? He comes closer and I recognize him. Harvey Conway. He is 2 years ahead of me. Pretty well-liked. He is certainly built like a Career.
We lock eyes, blue and blue, as we shake. His grip is tight. His handshake sure. I know that he will probably outlast me. We turn to the front and I can finally hear Iggy.
"District 4, you're tributes for the 69th Hunger Games! Maira Moher and Harvey Conway. May the odds be ever in their favor"
The peacekeepers usher us into the side. Harvey and I walk side by side and are led into separate rooms. I recognize his room as one I entered 2 years ago when I said my own goodbyes to Montane.
I made him promise he would come back to me. He never really did. Something I realized after he was well on his way to the capital. It was unfair of me to ask him that.
I wait in the room for a bit. I end up pacing wall to wall. 10 steps forward. Pivot. 10 steps the opposite way. Going back and forth towards the window and then the door. After 5 rotations Lana rushes in. She grabs my shoulders and pulls me into her. She rocks back and forth. I reach around and pull her in close. I can smell the salt in her hair. She must have gone swimming this morning.
Like just an hour before she doesn't say much. She just holds me. When the Peacekeepers tell her it's time to switch, she just whispers "Good luck. I'll see you soon Maira. Okay?"
She's the only one to call me by my full name. She says that my parents gave me a name for a reason. She is a little old-fashioned like that. I like it though. She pulls back, grabs my hand, and gives it one last squeeze. She walks away and our hands hold onto each other until the last possible moment. Our fingers slip and my hand drops to my side. If I don't come back then Lana will have lost her two closest friends. I promise I'll try Lana. We'll see each other again.
Ma, Dad, and Ridley are next. Mom rushes for quicker than Lana did, and I don't think that was possible. She releases me far quicker though. Ridley is next. He jumps into my arms. He is still quite young. I don't even know if he remembers when we said goodbye to Montane. He was only 4 then. Ridley doesn't appear to be leaving my arms anytime soon so my father comes close. He just sets his forehead to mine. We stay there for a moment. Just breathing. My breath is shaky. I am trying my hardest to not break down. I don't want this to be our last moment together and be covered in snot and tears.
Ma breaks the silence, "Ria…"
She trails off. She breaks down into sobs. I know she thinks this is the last time we will see each other. My dad runs his hands down her arm trying to calm her down.
He turns to me and says, "Try your best to make it home to us. We'll be waiting for you". It is simply put. To the point.
Ridley finally jumps off me. My chest aches when he asks me, "You'll be back right? Not like Monty right?"
"I don't know," I say sadly. I do not want to make the promise I'll be back. I don't want the last thing I say to him to be a lie. I crouch down so we are at eye level with each other.
Seafoam blue eyes connect to his green ones, "I know that I will try my hardest to come back home to you". He looks a little confused at that. But nods anyway. I pull him in for another hug and stand back up.
The Peacekeepers are back and start to rush them out. My Ma pauses at the door, turns, and says, "I trust in you. If you can't make it back, I know Monty is waiting for you. You have someone in your corner no matter what, just know that".
With that, the door is shut. I figured that would be all my visitors. That I would be ushered onto the train with Harvey and we would be off. I was shocked when the door opened again and it wasn't the white peacekeeper uniform and harsh faces, but instead a blue dress and a warm smile.
"Hey, Riri".
"Gilli," I say shocked.
"I just wanted to wish you luck. I know it is a little weird between us still. I just didn't want you to…. You know, without saying goodbye and I love you" Gilli says this hesitantly. She choked out the second half of her statement. Her eyes never left her feet. She blows a bit of hair out of her face at the end as she finally looks up.
I know it's not the type of love we used to share. "I love you too. I think I always will"
"Same," she says with a smile.
She continues, "I am sorry about us." She looks like she's in pain. Like in hurting me, she hurt herself. I know it to be true. Gilli is Gilli. She takes everything to heart.
"It is okay to forgive yourself, Gilli". I know I have forgiven her. To be honest, I was never even mad. It's hard to be mad at her.
With a short nod, she turns and hustles out the door. It is a bit of a wait before they collect me and board the train. Harvey is popular and probably had a few more visitors than me. He is the one our district will put its faith into. A few years older than me means a few more years of training. He volunteered, so he is ready to fight. His confidence is a stark contrast to my own. I know I did not give off a steady aura of preparedness. Certainly not as bad as some of the other districts, but not enough for the other tributes to consider me a threat.
A pair of peacekeepers collect me and we meet with Harvey and his own set. Our eyes meet and I feel like there is a sense of solidarity. We walk shoulder to shoulder to the train. I almost struggled to keep up with his long strides. Something he didn't seem aware of. Maybe I am not the only one in my head a bit.
The train is the definition of luxury. It is the essence of the capital. District 4 is nice, but this is another level. The poorer districts must be even more in shock than I am. It seemed to go on forever. Compartment after compartment. Entering what seems to be the main one, my eyes widen, taking in the plush furniture scattered around. Squared away and covered in what looks like the softest material in existence. Wooden furniture was intricately carved and a slab of shiny stone rested in the middle of the room. Food covered the surface. Some of it I had never seen before, but I recognized the salmon, the lobster, a delicacy, and some bread so the rest had to be food too. There is a bar in the corner. Most sailors have some form of drink, but the options seem endless. They span the entire compartment length.
It must be where Finnick got the amber liquid he swirls in his glass. He sits with Mags on a loveseat, his foot resting on his knee looking like he belongs in luxury. He talks in a hushed voice to Mags and waves his hands around. She nods, agreeing with whatever he was saying, and Harvey clears his throat rather aggressively, trying to notify them that we were there. With a wave of Mag's arms signaling to the surrounding chairs we each take a seat. Finnick is still talking, barely even addressing that we were there.
They are still talking when Iggy bursts into the room. The doors slam open and he stalks in saying, "Welcome darlings, to the life in the capital, it's all yours to enjoy for the rest of your life"
Uttering under my breath, "yeah, for however long that is". A roll of my eyes leads to me making contact with sea green ones. An unanswered question lingers in his eyes. It's the first time he has addressed me or Harvey. He wasn't meant to hear that so quickly dart my eyes to Iggy to see if he heard me too. Thankfully, he remains unaware and continues chattering on.
He fills the silence for a good long while talking about meaningless things, idle gossip, and jabbering about who made what, and how the furniture is all custom and designer. Finnick and Mags seem content to listen to the useless patter, but as Iggy continues to talk in his outrageous capital accent, I get more and more irritated.
I turn to Mags, a shock I think to everyone, "How do I survive?". I sound a lot more sure in myself than I truly feel. I trust Mags a lot more than Finnick in keeping me alive. After all, she coached through 3/4 victors that came from District 4 and has far more experience. One of them sitting next to her with amusement dancing in his eyes.
Before she can answer my question Harvey scoffs and asks "What makes you so sure you'll win?
"Because. You volunteered to look for everything to gain. I'm fighting with everything to lose. Your motivation is far weaker than mine"
Uncrossing his legs Finnick responds, "Well, it's good that we don't have to teach you that the games have already begun". He continues shifting his weight forward into his legs, elbows resting against his legs. His eyes are locked with mine, "You want advice?"
"Become who they want you to be". Become who they want you to be?
Pushing off of his legs and standing up abruptly, he turns and almost seems to change personalities. The seriousness melted from his face to be replaced with his award-winning smirk, "First settle in. Wander around, enjoy the capital luxuries. Think about how you want to play things out. Are you guys allies, want different allies, Careers? Or are you more of a go-it solo type of tribute? Think on it and we'll talk more at dinner."
As he is throwing all these questions at us he turns to Mags and offers her a hand helping her stand. Mags hasn't said anything, but I guess if she disagreed with Finnick she would have. They both turn to go to the next compartment. Maybe to talk about us? About their ideas for our strategies or to just get away from us.
I doubt Harvey wants to ally with me, and if he does, he'll probably be a Career and I definitely do not trust them enough to be allies. They always go hunting for other tributes and that does not appeal to me. Even if I can ignore that part I have no desire to have my neck slit in my sleep. No, I will get no more sleep with them as allies than if I went solo. Besides, I don't think I could stomach it after Montane met that fate. Still, a part of me hopes he at least doesn't want to be enemies. 22 is enough for me. Maybe he can convince the other Careers to not hunt me down.
I'll have to make other allies, or at the very least not make them my enemies. My hands will be full of Careers. A trusted ally is worth a lot in the arena. I just need to make sure I can trust them.
As far as a strategy? Become who they want you to be. I'll have to watch what the Capital thinks of me in the recap. It could go two ways: I am weaker than the other Careers, and I can use that to my advantage, or they think I am just thrown off. I am on the younger side of the tributes so I could still play it more cutesy? I'll just get Mags and Finnick to weigh in on this. They know more about what the capital wants and likes. I know I need sponsors, especially if I am alone in the arena.
If I can get my hands on a spear I know I'll have a chance. Between fishing with my Dad and class, I know that I can wield that with efficiency. I'm a strong swimmer like everyone in my district, so if there is some form of water in the arena I'll have an advantage. Survival skills will be something I need to work on, and it would be a good idea to brush up on hand to hand. A spear is good with distance, but if they get too close I will have to be able to defend myself and I am not the best in class. Especially if I am compared to Harvey or the other Careers. I'll need to get to work.