"Ekko.. what the fuck?"
Ekko glanced at his partner onstage, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth as the downpour of sneers and disapproval began to rain upon them. He knew it was going to be difficult to introduce her to the group, but imagination and realization are two opposite sides of the same coin. He wasn't prepared to watch her go through this.
"You leave us for two years and come back with this?"
He tuned out the surrounding chatter from the gallery and kept his focus on her. He wanted nothing more than to rewind time, to tell her he changed his mind, that they should run back to the fields where their souls intertwined and stay there until the world burned to ashes and smoldered around them. But he also knew that his protection was the last thing she needed. People underestimated her all of her life. He wasn't going to be another name on that list. Not now.
"You can't be serious…"
She took a long, deep breath, inhaling the intoxicating rage and conflict around her, allowing it to penetrate her senses. A natural high, one she was familiar with. Her blue pigtails danced in the wind as the hate from the crowd intensified. She couldn't call the venue home, but anywhere she lived, chaos was a next-door neighbor. A long lost friend she was intimately familiar with.
The aggressive outrage throughout the crowd hit its crescendo, reverberating throughout the docks. The community felt a collective sense of betrayal. They didn't understand. How could they? Her? Now? After all they've been through?
"How quickly they forget," a booming, familiar voice yelled from the back. His words pierced through the chatter like an arrow through a balloon, bringing the commotion to a screeching halt.
A large, dark muscular Chieran male made his way towards the stage, forearms wrapped in white bandages with a hyena's mask strapped to his waist. He carried himself with the presence of a veteran. Scar; Ekko's right-hand man. He was a member of the Sanctuary since its foundation, and served as its heart during Ekko's absence. He commended the respect of both the community, and their leader. His voice carried enough weight to tip the balance of the conflict either way.
The crowd slowly parted around him, allowing his energy to present itself.
"The faces I see before me today are the same ones I saw celebrating this woman when she launched a missile into the council's chamber," he began. "None of you objected when it was to your favor. And yet, now, you stand here, in her presence, ready to crucify her for the same reasons you honored her."
The gatherers reflected quietly on his words.
"We had a leader, once. The older folk among us remember him well. His name was Vander. Vander was not one to..."
"...psst… hey, big furry guy with the cute ears," Jinx quipped from the stage in Scar's direction, interrupting the impromptu speech. "Remember the past. Think of the future. We fucked up before; let's not do it again. Accept the unstable girl on stage or Ekko's going to be really, really sad. The mob gets it. Let's cut this short and save them some time."
Scar flashed his teeth in a wry smile, bowed his head slightly, and allowed the woman of the hour her space. "It's your funeral, lass," he replied, "the method of transportation is up to you."
Jinx bowed gracefully, and slowly made her way to the edge of the stage. Two weeks passed since Ekko helped her find herself in the void. She was used to escaping problems by detonating them to pieces until their ashes dissolved into the air. But she had changed since that fateful night, and was still searching within herself to find a replacement for the power of indifference she no longer had.
The crowd, having witnessed Scar give way to this woman, began grumbling in low tones. She closed her eyes and reached within herself to find the right words. She was dying of thirst in a desert of her own making. Chaos, her companion, was no longer her friend. She was scrambling for an alternative date.
"I know what you all want to hear," she began, eyes focused on the makeshift jury.
"You want to hear me say 'I'm sorry'," she continued, "you want me to give you validation; to tell you what I took from you mattered. You want me to tell you a tale of faces haunting me in the blue moonlight. Listen to my promises to work my fingers to the bone until I make it up to you."
She hesitated slightly, unsure of where she was headed. She was surrounded by a gaggle of peasants that meant nothing to her. Why did they deserve her candor?
"I know that's what you want to hear. I also know if I said it, it would be complete nonsense. I wasn't born with the gift of grace. Or maybe I was, and just forgot to unwrap it. The truth is, I barely remember any of the people I killed, much less what they meant to me when I checked them out of this world."
The crowd returned to their low grumbles. How dare she, an outsider, come into their homes and dessecrate the memories of people she brutally murdered? How dare Ekko entertain this disrespect of common values?
She sighed softly, reflecting on her words. She thought the familiar emotions of hate, cynicism and deflection would fill the hole pain left in her heart. She never imagined honesty would heed the call.
"Folks, if you can pl…" Ekko began to plead with the audience, sensing their outrage towards the outsider. Jinx swiftly raised her hand in his direction, eyes flashing like purple haze dancing in the background of darkness."
"They need this," she mouthed to him, quietly so only he could understand. He nodded towards her, acknowledging her wishes, and allowed her to continue.
"It's not that I don't want to remember your loved ones; it's that I can't. The only faces I remember are the three I killed as a child. Mylo. Claggor. Vander. Those faces have stayed with me until this very day.
She paused, again, searching internally for reasons. Why now? Why here? Why them? She understood she started a dialogue that needed an ending. Not for them, or for Ekko, but for herself.
"The only person that survived the blast was my sister Vi, the fourth life I took," she continued. "When she realized what I did, she… left. Ekko's trying to help me try to deal with this… to explain to me that it wasn't my fault. But I pulled the pin on the grenade that took their lives. I did that."
Jinx paused and met the crowd's gaze with solemn eyes. She was unsure of what she was doing, but couldn't ignore the levity she felt with each word. Every sentence served as a stepping stone to her salvation. How her audience received it was irrelevant: this was for her, and no one else.
"I was left out in the cold, surrounded by the corpses of my friends and family. So, I did what any well-adjusted eleven year old girl would do - I clung to the nearest warm body I could find. That body happened to belong to Silco, the man that kidnapped my father and laid a trap to kill my sister and friends. Not the best choice, looking back now, but it's all I had."
She smiled to herself, thinking how foolishly this must all sound. A woman standing before the world, who demanded a pound of flesh. The Gods have a strange sense of humor.
"...but it wasn't all doom and gloom," she pushed forward, "I made a new friend, born out of the shadows, like me. Her name was Jinx. She said she would protect me; shield me from anyone that tried to push blame my way. The only thing that she asked for in return was to share my head once in a while, so she could have some fun. It's not like I was using it for much, so I agreed."
When you dance with the Devil, the Devil leads, leaving stains on your dress you can't rinse out with soap and a prayer. She exhaled sharply, slowly grasping the situation. This was to be her last day in this world. Her audience demanded it. Her subconscious was trying to justify itself on the way out. Give her the voice she so sorely lacked for her entire existence.
"In the following years I would watch my new father flood the streets with shimmer with the promise that this would somehow help all Zaunites. He thought it would all balance out as long as Zaun had its independence. Jinx was happy to go along with it, and wherever she went, I followed. We didn't care who we hurt. We lived for the affirmations."
Understanding the outcome, she gave herself to the process. There was nothing to lose - everything to gain. Her soul demanded justification for her actions; whether right or wrong, she would deliver in full.
"The only problem was Jinx was growing…. stronger. Our dad didn't want me. He only loved her. I was a weakness to be destroyed. New love, same problems. He would try to convince us that she was the only real person, and for her to be stronger, she had to kill me. It caused… issues, but she was thriving. I couldn't say anything, I was just happy to be along for the ride - to live through her for a little bit, when she gave me the chance."
Ekko felt a sharp, physical pain as he processed her words. He acknowledged them, but wasn't prepared for the source. The veracity and condemnation in the voice were foreign concepts to him - at least from her. She was baptising herself in her truth; confronting her demons. He was merely a member of the congregation, silently worshipping her chants.
Jinx took a deep breath as she became better acquainted with her essence. For the first time she could remember, she was the sole owner of herself. Not her emotions. Not outside parties. Just her. She turned her attention to the crowd and traveled along her journey.
"When you find out the tenant in your head now owns the lease to your land… that's…"
She closed her eyes momentarily and spoke to the other guests, taking attendance, confirming she still had control as they agreed, before continuing.
"...Vi came back. Turns out my dead sister wasn't dead after all, just stuffed in Still Water by a local tin can. I was happy to see her, but she was… different. She showed up with a new Powder. Cute little rich lamb from Piltover, apparently an enforcer. I tried to keep my cool but Jinx, she… lost it. We didn't know it at the time, but apparently Vi and the girl were a thing. Dessert name official and all."
"Dessert?" someone yelled in the audience. Jinx pulled herself from her thoughts, and focused her attention on the crowd.
"No, you idiot. Sprinkles aren't a dessert, they go on top of the dessert. It was probably something like 'pudding'," yelled another audience member.
"No, no, cinnamon roll!" exclaimed a young girl in the back.
Jinx smiled, acknowledging the topic that brought her improtou play to its intermission. It was a welcomed break.
"Cupcake, folks." Jinx corrected them. "Cupcake."
"CUPCAKE?" the crowd asked, groaning in collective unison.
"What kind of stupid name is that?" asked an elderly woman, standing towards the front of the stage.
"Tell me about it," Jinx replied, grinning.
The crowd debated amongst themselves on what dessert name was appropriate to name their significant others.
"Beloved mob members," Jinx said to her constituents, shaking her head, "none of this matters. Not anymore. Let me wrap this up so you can off me and get on with your day."
The crowd heeded her words, halting their conversations, fixing their attention towards the defendant on stage.
"Silco sent us on a final mission to go get a blue glowy orb and weaponize it," Jinx began her second act. "He knew I loved blue, and Jinx never met a glowy thing she didn't like, so we couldn't resist. There was… an accident. He rushed us to Singe's to get fixed up. Unfortunately for us, the only fix Singe knows is mainlining shimmer into his play things to see if they live or die. That's how I got these pretty eyes. I guess you could say I got them from my dad. She lived. It was her show now, more than ever. I was just a fading memory in my own mind."
The words escaped Jinx, painfully, but it was too late to turn back. She had already already shared too much, with too many. She pushed on.
"She found out our dad made a deal with the Piltovians. Everything he ever wanted, wrapped up in a silk bow tie. All he had to do was give us up. She didn't appreciate that. She was still my guardian; it was the pact we made. She couldn't break it, no matter how much she wanted to. But she was also obsessed with Vi, like I was."
"We talked it over. She wanted to murder the cupcake. I wanted to speak with Vi. So we had a tea party, like gentlewomen." Jinx gave a small courtesy to the crowd. "It didn't go well."
"Jinx thought the choice was pretty clear. Vi shoots the enforcer cheerleader she's known for four days in her perfect little face, choosing the sister she abandoned for the last seven years, and all would be right with the world. I tried to take control, to tell Vi that if she made Jinx go away, she could have her sister back. But I don't think she understood. Sometimes my words are… confusing."
Jinx paused, wiping her hand over her forehead and letting out a deep sigh. She reflected on how complicated the situation with her sibling was, both internally and externally. She ran the scenario before in her head multiple times since the incident, but always came to the same conclusion - Vi was wrong. She was perfect. But now, with the gift of lucidity she gained from her exorcism, she realized for the first time how much pain and confusion she caused her sister. She took a deep breath and continued.
"Vi tried to talk sense into me, to push Jinx away by forcing her to remember why she existed in the first place, but Silco somehow got… loose. He tried to shoot Vi, or at least I think he tried to… I don't know if he shot at her to kill her or to force us to choose between them, but the result was the same. Jinx knew that if Vi died, it would destroy me. She… chose to let me have Vi, and instead gunned down the one person she truly loved - our father. My third father, her first. Watching the first die is always the hardest."
She took a moment to appreciate Jinx. She was everything Powder needed her to be to survive the circumstances life brought upon their doorsteps. She wasn't perfect, but she was a loyal guardian, until the very end.
"Then the bomb came. I wish I could tell you that it was some political message to strike back at the heart of Piltover in the name of all Zaunites that were forgotten and lost. That's what I tell most people, anyways. It sounds better. But the reality is, there was a glowy blue ball on top of a cupcake we spent 12 hours making from scratch, that our guests weren't even polite enough to taste. We couldn't toss both the cupcake and the glowy topping in the trash can - that would have been a waste. One of them had to go. So she fired the shot, to clear her head."
Jinx once again sighed and shook her head, thinking back on the situation. This was all beyond fucked, but if she was going to die, she might as well entertain the crowd on her way out.
"I'm not some shining champion of Zaun that struck fear into the Piltovan's hearts in the name of truth and justice. I didn't drop the bomb to make them feel your pain. I did it to force them to feel mine."
"Great, Jinx. Well done. Let's throw yet another middle finger to these people," she thought to herself.
"Neither am I some monster in the closet that comes to steal your children away in the middle of the night to torture them with Piltovian opera," she continued.
I'm just…"
She was at a loss for words. Her newfound powers of truth and candor brought her to a ditch on the side of the road and demanded payment for the ride, and she was out of money for the return trip and had to fend for herself. Truly.
"...a broken, lonely girl with abandonment issues, sick of the world as her lover, whispering sweet nothings into the evening, empty promises of a new beginning as long as it got laid. Sick of the love poems before a night of rough sex. Sick of waking up to an empty bed and an explanatory note saying it had changed. Sick of hearing the last time would be the last time and the next time would be the first time."
Her words pierced Ekko's ears as he nodded in agreement, standing in awe of her presence. He knew her, intimately; knew her pain, intimately. The same energy that drove her to sin drove him to justice. Every life he rescued, every soul that joined the sanctuary, was driven by her internal turmoil, whether directly or indirectly. She unknowingly pushed him to become a better person, and he stood by her side, ready to reciprocate the favor, no matter the cost.
"I know you're all wondering how this mess of a person managed to make her way into your lives," she continued.
She raised her arm, pointing it in Ekko's direction.
"It's because of him," she said quietly.
"I shot this idiot, twice, when we were younger," she declared. " It was my way of telling him we shouldn't hang out anymore," she laughed, and carried on.
"Vengeance was his, by right. Instead, he made it his life mission to make sure that no one else would be corrupted by Silco, like I was. When I tried to… check out from the world, he knocked the theart away from me, giving me enough time to get help. When I launched the missile that rocked this bullshit world, and the council burned down your home in retaliation, he spent two years of his life tracking me down to try to help me find myself again."
She felt tears welling into her eyes for the first time. She thought about him, thought about what he meant to her. She didn't understand how someone could care about her this much; to go through so much for her. She was nothing but a headache to everyone she cared about. Did he not understand? How could he be so blind to the obvious?
"True absolution," she said, "Unselfish. From the heart. He's the reason. He is my heart, as he is yours. That is why I'm standing here, before you, in front of the gun, today. Because he stood in front of my gun countless times, yet never gave up on me, even though he knew each time could be his last."
She fought back tears.
"You don't take those chances, dancing with madness for that long unless you really…"
She stopped, mid-sentence. Whatever words she had, escaped her.
"...it doesn't matter. I'm here now. Whatever the fuck you want from me, I can't give it to you. I can't give you absolution. I can't give you closure. I can't give you grace. The only thing I can offer you is the satisfaction of killing me and turning my parts into souvenirs at the next 'Save the Sanctuary' rally. At least I'll be useful. So queue the guillotine and let's get over with."
The crowd once settled into hushed silence, as they had when she first appeared on stage. This time, however, it was different. The young woman's words touched them in a way they did not expect. Each member stood in thought, solemnly contemplating on their past lives - the unforgivable mistakes. The feelings of abandonment and loss. Betrayal at the hands of their loved ones. And the faith they had in each other to continue forward.
They were not ready to absolve her for her sins, but her spirit brought about feelings greater than forgiveness; she made them understand. No matter what transgressions Jinx committed in the past, one thing was clear - she was a daughter of Zaun. She was one of them.
"Hey, Jinx…" a small voice uttered in the middle of the crowd. It belonged to a young boy, making his way towards her, in front of the stage."
"Yes," she replied quietly, preparing herself for the worst.
"Fuck cupcakes. Honey buns are better, any day."
The crowd let out a collective laugh in agreement.
"Yah seriously… fuck cupcakes," another exclaimed.
"Yah! Fuck em! Rot yer teeth is what they do!" another yelled from the back.
"Never liked them anyways!" a middle-aged man shouted.
The chant grew slow, but steady, eventually erupting into unison.
"FUCK CUPCAKES! FUCK CUPCAKES! FUCK CUPCAKES!"
A small tear rolled from her eye as she grinned at the crowd, who were once again jubilant - not only for the return of their heart, but for the return of their daughter. She was overwhelmed with feelings of regret, doubt, sorrow, and loss. The images of every life she took came flooding back to her, like a perverted welcome package of emotions, bringing her back to humanity.
Most of all, she mourned her protector, Jinx, and thanked her for her presence in her life.
"Fuck cupcakes," she muttered softly, smiling.
"Fuck them all."
Jinx, Ekko.
Two wayward souls, joined in trial by fire, for as long as time, and circumstance, would allow it.
By the grace of the Gods, at least for today - circumstance allowed it.