Daughter of Hate

by Blutus Mindpretzel

The war is over. Azula's motives remain unknowable as her child stands to shake the foundation of everything built since the fall of Fire Lord Ozai. For Toph, Mai, Aang, Katara and the rest, the world is an even more dangerous place than it was when they were children. And despite being long since gone, Sasuke's impact continues to shudder their world, perhaps more than they know.

19. Chapter 19

AN: Damn, they just keeping coming out longer; I promise we'll get back to regular length in the near future, but for the time being, these are just going to be some chonky boi chapters.

I'm sure you're all dead tired of hearing this, but it has been so, so awesome to read the feedback that the more recent chapters have produced. I can't tell you how much I like hearing everyone's thoughts on the plot, the scenes, the characters, the drama, etc. For example, I've been pretty pleased with how well Ursa's character has integrated into the story, but it's been even better to see that she's being well received, I'm very happy for that. Always happy to hear what people think, especially about pairings and character developments as we've made our way through the weeks; a lot has changed since chapter one of the first story, and it's the best thing in the world to see everyone experiencing that along with me and what everyone's thinking.

P.S. In regards to the height question, yes, Sasuke is sitting just under 6' as I believe he is in canon. As to Azula's height, I've placed her just above 6' in turn, so there's only about an inch of difference between them, not too much. Ursa on the other hand is about 6'2" and a bit, got a few inches on Sasuke.

P.P.S I'm always happy to answer questions as long as they're not directly regarding future plot content and spoilers and whatnot, so always feel free to leave those in reviews or shoot me a PM if you have an account. I've tried to reply to everyone that I've seen ask a question like that, so please check your PMs if you've asked something or clarification or whatnot in the past, and if I haven't, please hit me up again; don't want to leave anybody hanging!

Anyways, that all aside, very much hope you guys are having a kickass week, and very much hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter 19: Divulgence

As it happened with any sudden escalation to violence that Sasuke had ever been involved in, the moment that Azula's hands snapped to life with fire, his mind went from annoyed sarcasm to deadly serious as he threw open his chakra flow. Immediately, the room became almost completely different to his perception as the action of all around him seemed to briefly slow while his senses flashed about to decompress the situation.

Azula was a flash of rage and madness, no sense that she was going to slow at all as she barreled into the room; the rest of the room was turning towards her with various reaction speeds. Sasuke felt Suki and Katara moving the quickest, making to intercept Azula before she made it to her target, while Jin and Yue almost seemed to be recoiling in fear. Aang, Sokka and Zuko also were coming to life as their muscles tightened, just behind Katara and Suki, and while their bodies too stiffened in reaction to this sudden appearance of Azula, Mai and Ty Lee remained where they were, either too stunned to move or unwilling to.

It was Ursa that gave Sasuke his only moment of pause. She had actually reacted the quickest of anyone there, her body coming sharply to attention as this furious force made to bear down on her, but to Sasuke's surprise, she made not a single move to react to her daughter's incoming assault. Her form tensed, but she didn't move to evade or even defend herself.

Would she let Azula kill her?

Even if Azula was her daughter, Sasuke couldn't fathom Ursa being willing to let her own child set upon her life that.

Still, he didn't have much time to think about it as slow acting on his part may very well have resulted in matricide.

Launching forward, Sasuke drew his chakra into both his focus and his muscles themselves. In that moment, cutting off Azula's advance was something he could manage with ease, but getting in front of her was only half the movement. As he managed to place himself between her and her mother, he reached, catching Azula's left wrist in one hand and swinging himself around her back, snatching her right as soon as he was able. Pulling back, he bent her arms behind her, pressing her forearms against her back while he whipped a sweeping kick towards her ankles, causing her to knees to buckle. In what had surely seemed an instant less than a blink of an eye to everyone else, Sasuke had intercepted and restrained Azula, holding her down on her knees while keeping her arms held safely behind her back.

As random a thought as it could have been, Sasuke remembered someone else he had known from childhood being suddenly restrained from behind, and he could still hear his old sensei's voice, tired and calm.

"Calm down… I haven't said start yet."

Though even as wild as Naruto had been, Sasuke would have rather dealt with him a thousand times over than the single woman he currently was restraining.

"Let me go!" Azula screamed. "Sasuke, please, what are you doing?!"

She tried to push herself to her feet, but he kept her where she was, kneeling and as immobile as he could manage.

"I have you right where you need to be right now," he growled. Ahead of him, everyone seemed to be blinking away surprise at how quickly Azula had been subdued, and he saw a knife drawn from behind Suki being held tensely at her side and Sokka had very nearly fully drawn his sword. A fair number of them had stepped forward, but remained still now as Azula remained the only one intent on moving as she was desperately trying to do. Twisting to face him, her hair flying around her face, he could see a desperate worry in her eyes.

"What did she do?" she whispered, her voice surprisingly tender, but before Sasuke could manage a response, she snapped her attention back to Ursa, her voice switching back to its stressed, intense screaming.

"What did you do?!" she howled at her mother and tried again to push to her feet before Sasuke forced her back down more forcefully, putting enough pressure on her limbs that she cried out.

"Enough," he snapped at her. "We are not doing this right now."

Zuko stepped forward and for one wild, hopeful second, Sasuke believed that cooler heads were going to prevail, but as he looked up at the Fire Lord, he could tell that Zuko's mind was far from a rational place.

"You slept with my mom?!" he practically screeched, his voice breaking in several different places as his fists balled. Sasuke stared back at him, half expecting Zuko to run up and tackle him, which he might have if Sokka hadn't stepped forward and turned into Zuko, putting a hand on his chest.

"Hey, come on, man," he said, managing a calm and composed tone. "We can't do this right now…"

Zuko didn't seem to take kindly to Sokka's attempt at easing the situation, continuing to shout, even as he pushed against Sokka's hold.

"Why not?! You're telling me I don't have a right to be angry about this?!"

Fortunately, Ursa seemed to find her voice then which Sasuke was grateful for since he didn't think a single other person there could have calmed her son down.

"Zuko, listen to me," she said and walked towards him before seeming to think that since, now that it was public knowledge, that she might as well air this out to everyone. She gazed around at everyone in the room, her eyes resting on Yue for a hair longer than anyone else and Sasuke could see the grudging fire that briefly glowed in her gaze. He couldn't help but feel a particularly angry sensation towards Yue flaring in his own gut.

"Sasuke and I have partaken in a casual relationship, nothing more," she said and Sasuke found himself even more attracted to just how in command she still seemed of the situation even after she and him had both been set up for humiliation at this revelation. Ursa wasn't blushing, stammering, or making excuses; everything was still just business as usual for her, and her ability to not be shook by even something as damning as this was something he found deeply impressive.

But why would this even be damning? Are we not allowed to be able to do something like this? What dictates who I can and cannot spend intimate time with? Or her for that matter?

He suddenly found himself getting supremely indignant over the idea that he and Ursa being together was some form of taboo.

"I'm you're not pleased about this, but it's hardly your—" Sasuke started to call out to Zuko before cutting off. Sasuke had also experienced more than his share of furious glares in his life, ranging from annoyed glances to full on hateful stares, so much so that he might have assumed that they had worn out any sort of effectiveness on him. But the look that Ursa gave him then was almost enough to make him want to walk out of the room. It wasn't hate in her eyes, but a very intense glare that spoke words to him without her even needing to so much as open her mouth.

Not a word, Sasuke.

Deciding that perhaps it would be better to let her handle this situation, Sasuke returned his primary focus to holding onto Azula, who would still sharply struggle when she thought she might be able to break away. Zuko looked between his mother and Sasuke with changing expressions that ranged from furious to devastated.

"Why him?!" he finally managed to blurt out and this seemed to catch Ursa slightly off guard. "He's nothing like father!"

This, even worse, seemed to cause Ursa to stiffen, though when she spoke, her voice was just as strong.

"That's probably a fair part of it, Zuko," she said evenly and judged by the look on his face, he hadn't perhaps known even that Ursa's relationship with Ozai hadn't been quite what his naïve childhood mind had seen it as. Zuko seemed to deflate then, as though his anger had just been sucked out by her words. Even still, his hurt clearly hadn't diminished in the slightest.

"Why did it have to be him?"

Ursa matched the gaze of her son, and Sasuke could tell she wasn't backing down, even if she wanted to.

"That's not a question I think you'll ever understand the answer to, honey," she said softly. Zuko had nothing to say in response to this, but Azula burst to life again underneath Sasuke's grip, practically screaming.

"No, you tell us why! Tell me why you're trying to take him from me too! Tell me, mother!"

It seemed that Ursa was making her best effort to ignore her daughter, but such a feat was proving more and more difficult. There was a brief pause as Azula's howls echoed away before Katara stepped forward.

"Perhaps this is something that needs to be addressed," she said, her voice like the breath of winter, frigid against Sasuke's ears. "If there is something happening between you and him, and you're calling the shots, I think it would be prudent to make sure that you're doing this for the good of all, rather than just because there's more you feel for Sasuke that has gone unspoken."

Ursa raised an eyebrow.

"You believe my feelings for him are affecting my judgement?"

Katara didn't say anything in response to this, but the crossing of her arms was enough to suggest that she was standing by her answer. It took Sasuke looking at the suspicion in her eyes to track over and see that Suki and Ty Lee were looking equally as on edge as Katara, as though this sudden revelation was enough to start making them doubt a perfectly serviceable plan, one hat Katara herself had been completely on board with not a minute ago.

What is this? Because of her and me, suddenly that's causing them to turn on her? In a situation like this?

Starting to get even more fed up, Sasuke allowed himself to recognize his growing anger and use that to reflect that Ursa was still likely a much better candidate to handle what was becoming a confrontation. Unlike him, he could see no sign that she was becoming put off by this rather aggressive change in atmosphere.

"I would have assumed that my feelings for him would only serve to strengthen the concept that I'm actually quite concerned for his wellbeing, and his daughter's wellbeing by extension," Ursa said, her voice rippling with a similar chill. "But if this is something that's going to become a problem…"

Aang leapt in then, seeming to have regained control of himself following his shock.

"No, no, there's nothing wrong with this!"

He glared expectantly at Katara who didn't so much as acknowledge his voice or gaze before turning back to Ursa, a pleading look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I think… based on what we know of Sasuke, this has all just been kind of… kind of unexpected."

"As well as have us considering what would cause Sasuke to allow a woman ten years older than him to take him to bed," Katara added unhelpfully and Sasuke found himself staring her down as well, even as Ursa very slightly raised her chin and inhaled slowly.

Don't you go after her, Sasuke though angrily at Katara. She's done more for me than even I probably know.

"It just seems a touch odd that this would be something neither of you have managed to mention now that we're immediately out of danger, and have had the time to discuss it," Katara continued and while her face remained impassive, her tone was almost starting to sound vindictive. "Considering he is the catalyst for everything that's happening, you might have seen fit to bring that up."

"I wasn't aware that my or his personal life was something you took for granted as privy to you," Ursa replied, unfazed. Katara's eyes narrowed just a fraction before she spoke again.

"And I wasn't aware that physical obsession with Sasuke was hereditary. Still, it would have been good to know."

Immediately, Sasuke could tell that this had gotten under Ursa's skin and he found himself hating how he was watching her staring down Katara and the rest of them while he was off to the side keeping Azula in check. He was having to fight down the significant urge to rush over and stand at her shoulder; even if he still didn't imagine that opening his mouth was wise, it was horribly painful to imagine that Ursa was finding herself alone in this confrontation.

For a long moment, she said nothing, and simply stared at Katara, looking her up and down as if drawing a conclusion as to the nature of her character. Then, she walked forward until she was face to face with Katara; the slight difference in height allowed Ursa to stare down her nose at her, and when she spoke, she made no attempt to hide the disapproval she felt.

"Yue might perhaps be a touch less subtle with her jealousy, but don't think for a moment that your own is any less noticeable. If this is a conflict that is going to need to be dealt with, I'm more than satisfied to suggest we have this little talk at a later date, but this is about a lot more than any single on of our personal feelings. As it happens, I've found that in a short period of time, I've grown to care a great deal about him, and I assure you, that has not been a result of the emotions that have possessed my daughter. But, regardless of any romantic thought, I have found that I care a great deal about him, and I will be more than willing to do everything in my power to keep him and his child safe."

She leaned in a touch closer.

"And if you feel differently, I struggle to fathom why you're here."

Katara seemed to swell with fury, her cold composure starting to come undone and she began to breathe heavily. Even Suki and Ty Lee seemed willing to back down after Ursa's sudden rebuttal, but to Sasuke's eyes, she and Katara were looking about ready to reach for one another's throats.

Fortunately, Sokka seemed to recognize what very well might have been unleashed on the bridge and he took his sister under the arm and steered her away; it wasn't lost on Sasuke the clear amount of effort even his muscled form needed to move her.

"Look, I think the one thing we can all agree on right now is the necessity to put this aside until we're truly out of danger. We still don't even know where we're headed, and we can't be caught up on who's got Sasuke behind the—"

Azula screamed underneath Sasuke's grip and he was just able to throw up chakra around his hands to shield them as tendrils of blue fire burst from her body and whipped around her, splashing against the floor and wall.

"No, no, NO!" she screeched. "HE DOESN'T BELONG TO ANY OF YOU, I'LL KILL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU BEFORE I LET ANYONE ELSE TAKE HIM, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D GET HIM BACK, AND NOW I'M NOT LETTING HIM GO EVER AGAIN!"

As Sasuke attempted to keep her still, she directed her wild gaze at Ursa.

"MOTHER, I'LL BURN THE FLESH FROM YOUR BODY IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY A HAND ON HIM AGAIN! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM BELOW AFTER I LEFT?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

If she had been only briefly put out of sorts by Katara's accusations, Azula's sudden screaming seemed to have completely froze Ursa to the bone. She stared in horror at her daughter, any stalwart edge she had used against Katara banished at the sight of her own child having a complete breakdown in front of her.

"WERE YOU THIS MUCH OF A WHORE WHEN FATHER MARRIED YOU?! DO YOU TRULY HATE ME THAT MUCH THAT YOU WOULD TAKE AWAY THE ONE THING THAT GAVE ME LIFE WHEN I HAD NOTHING TO LIVE FOR?!"

Ursa gently shook her head from side to side, hardly looking like she was even in control of her own actions. Around her, everyone else had seemingly forgotten about the intense standoff that she and Katara had just engaged in, eyes now all locked on Azula with varying degrees of fear and tension. But Sasuke couldn't take his eyes away from Ursa though she didn't spare a moment to look at him, and as he saw her eyes shining with tears, he felt his frustration break the dam that had been holding it at bay.

Spinning Azula around, he yanked her to her feet and glared into her eyes.

"Enough!" he barked and he watched as her expression so ripe with envy and hate faded away, as did the fire that she had summoned to her side. As though she had forgotten anyone else but she and Sasuke were there, she tried to reach for his face as he held her wrists tightly in front of him.

"Don't you see what she's trying to do?!" she cried desperately. "She thinks that because she's my mother, I won't see her deception! But I won't let her pride get between us!"

"You were willing to shatter our daughter's life because of pride," Sasuke snarled and she seemed to fire up at him too then.

"I tried to help Soza!" she shouted, trying to press her body against his, even as he held her tightly.

"And you denied me any say in that decision!" he yelled back. "You denied me a say in anything!"

Suddenly, this wasn't about Ursa, or anyone else standing on that bridge. Standing face to face with Azula, Sasuke felt all the bitterness and hurt that he had just been granted as a result of knowing of her treachery start to overwhelm him.

"You won't even see what it is that you've stolen from me!" he roared. "Your mind is so sick, that you can't even fathom what it is that you've done to me, something I'm never, never, going to recover from!"

His shouts seemed to manage some sort of trance and he watched as Azula's eyes remained wide, but the anger and aggression faded from her face. Her form went seemingly limp in his hands and as he somewhat loosened his grip, she reached out and stroked his face.

"Then make me pay for it," she whispered. "Hurt me like I know you want to. Use me however you have to in order to make yourself feel better."

Sasuke grit his teeth and she immediately noticed his growing anger at her response.

"Do it right here! Do it in front of everyone, show them what it means to be owned by you, how the only woman who belongs with you ought to serve you. We're together again, Sasuke, we can have this, we can love one another, you and I."

He tried to see if there was any genuineness to her words, but as her fingers slowly curved and started to scratch gently down his face and neck, and he saw the hungry smile start to form as she lost herself in the thrill of her desire. In a moment of pure disdain and hate, Sasuke leaned in and whispered in her ear, the words coming from the deepest and most vile pit of rage in his gut; it was perhaps the stupidest thing he could have done then, but being unable as he was to hurt Azula with his hands, this was perhaps the best alternative he could have dreamed up.

"If you saw how your mother treated me, maybe you would know what love really is."

Even just saying those words sent a spike of hurt into his own heart that he hadn't been expecting; he remembered what Ursa had said to him, how she had told him so matter-of-factly that she hadn't remotely fallen in love with him, but in that moment, he believed it was perhaps the most triggering thing he could have told Azula.

And as he watched the sensual and excited desire slip from her face, he knew he had succeeded.

Sasuke had hoped that she would be more inspired to vent at him for that, to open up and finally show him something like real anger towards him, like she had back when he had suggested that her love for Soza might be exceptionally conditional. But as her eyes began to flash with deadly intent, she lunged not for him, but to the side, her eyes locking back onto her mother. No words left her mouth, but an unrelenting scream of unbridled rage exploded from her throat as Sasuke barely managed to keep a hold on her. Realizing with a sickening guilt what he had done, he made to pull her back into a subdued position before something became very clear to him. He hadn't known how it had been something he had missed, but it was very clear to him then.

In his immediate vicinity, when he had flushed chakra through his body to give himself a heightened sense of the situation, he had sensed thirteen people in the room. As he looked between himself, the raging form of Azula, and everyone else, he only counted twelve.

It didn't take him long to figure out the outlier and in a spurring of something somewhat close to panic, he reached a hand up quickly to Azula's throat and constricted her windpipe just enough so that her scream was cut off entirely. She choked something out in a gasp, but he held her steady.

Ahead of him, Zuko shouted out, but everyone else remained where they stood, no doubt still trying to process the words that had just been launched between Sasuke and Azula, and surely imagining what it was that he had whispered in her ear that had caused her to lose her mind on Ursa again. Sasuke forced himself to ignore them all as he turned to the entrance to the entrance to the bridge near where Yue stood, petrified herself at the events that were unfolding. Sasuke ignored her too as he called out.

"You can come out, Soza."

The doorway remained devoid of anyone, the door still hanging open after Azula's sudden violent entrance. Sasuke tried to think of what he could say to ease the girl he knew was standing just out of sight and he chose to take a risk; releasing his grip on Azula entirely, he let her suck in a harsh breath of air before he spoke again, putting as much comfort and warmth into his voice as he could, an act that was somewhat uncomfortable and unfamiliar to him.

"It's alright."

There was another stretch of silence, but Sasuke took it as a small victory that Azula hadn't launched into action the moment her airflow had been returned to her; it would seem that the idea her daughter was tucked out of sight and listening to her wild words and struggles might have struck her deeply enough that she had at least somewhat come to her senses.

Slowly, Soza's small shape stepped into view. She had her hands at her side and was standing poker straight, her head turned down and eyes fixed pointedly on the metal floor of the bridge. Just before she had fallen asleep crying against him, Sasuke remembered the devastated look in her eyes and how much that had struck a chord with him; now, if anything, she looked worse. There was a combination of fear, sadness and hurt that culminated in the image of an absolutely devastated child and it took some level of willpower to not approach her immediately.

When the small sounds of her few footsteps had faded away, the most uncomfortable silence yet fell over the bridge. Sasuke imagined that everyone was considering the same thing, the idea that Soza had just listened in on every single awful thing that had just been said, and wondering how much of it made sense to her.

"How much did you hear?" Azula's voice finally rang out, shaking as it tried to return itself to a lofty, calm inflection. Soza didn't reply, only flicked her eyes briefly at her mother and then returned her gaze back to the ground. Clearly not used to being unobeyed by her daughter, Azula's tone took on a sharper edge and she started to walk towards Soza.

"Soza, I asked you a question and I expect—"

Sasuke thrust an arm out and barred her progress as she came shoulder to shoulder with him. He heard an angry, indignant inhale from beside him as he kept his eyes on Soza and Azula's voice hissed at him.

"Sasuke, she's my daughter."

He glanced at Azula then, flicking his eyebrows at her and suddenly feeling very tired.

"Just yours?"

She swallowed and tightened her lips, but said nothing, nor made any attempt to continue past him. The next person that spoke up was perhaps the last one Sasuke would have expected to.

"What did mother take from you?"

Soza's voice was even, but barely audible, as though she had barely dared to ask it. As Sasuke looked at her, he watched her eyes turn up to meet his gaze, a willful curiosity present. There was still so much fear in her eyes, and Sasuke hadn't missed how her small frame had tensed when Azula had started walking towards her.

He didn't know what to say, or even what was best to say. It had been only hours ago that he had witnessed Soza completely collapse in his arms as shock and exhaustion and mental pain had flooded her, and he was genuinely surprised that she was back on her feet considering the ordeal she had gone through. Her Sharingan had been awakened as a result of the night's conflicts, and here she was scared, hurt, and yet still possessed by enough curiosity to press her to ask this question after the chaos she had just overheard. Sasuke found he couldn't look away from her, as much as he wanted to look over his shoulder and look at Ursa for some semblance of guidance in her eyes. Yet somehow, he knew that even she wouldn't be able to offer him anything.

This was his daughter, a child who had known as much about his existence as he had known about hers. And Sasuke didn't have a clue what to say. She had heard everything, obviously, and was no doubt already plowing through potential conclusions in her head.

I can't tell her the truth. She's had to deal with so much and see so much… I can't force this on her now… I can't ever force this on her.

She couldn't have been any older as Aang or Toph on the day that he had left, and he knew for certain that she had spent her life being trained and groomed just as her mother had been.

Who am I to further destroy her very idea of what's real?

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Sasuke, tell her!"

The desperate cry came from behind him and didn't need to look to recognize Jin's voice, strained and agonized as she shouted at him.

"What is this?! That you don't think she has a right to know?!"

She let out a frenzied laugh that was almost akin to the ones Sasuke knew Azula was capable of unleashing, but there was nothing but pained exhaustion behind Jin's.

"I know that's not it! I know that this is just you, the fact that you can't stand the idea of even once acknowledging the fact that you were as much a victim of our world as anyone! What it and its people have done to you, this is the peak of that! You accuse of Azula of pride, but you have just as much of that in your heart, and you're a better person than she'll ever be!"

Sasuke looked back at her then and saw that Azula was staring at Jin too in utter disbelief, the expression on her face being that of complete shock that someone like her was so willingly speaking in such an outspoken way, and against her no less. But Jin had her eyes locked helplessly on Sasuke and he could see her struggling to not simply spill the secret herself; despite her frustration, she respected him enough to ensure that nothing was outright said without his approval. Still, he could see the plea in her eyes that he would just tell Soza, and be done with it.

"Just accept that fact that for once in your life, you didn't have control! I know you're so indomitably set on ensuring that nothing has power over you, and so you're just blaming yourself for this because it allows you to keep that illusion. But it's her fault, not yours!"

Soza hadn't moved, but her eyes were flashing between Jin and Sasuke with extreme focus, while Azula's mouth was slowly forming into a scowl. Sasuke was genuinely surprised she hadn't attempted to intervene with what was being said, but Jin couldn't have been less focused on the princess. Meeting her eyes as he felt a surge of discomfort pass through him, Sasuke growled a response at her outburst and claims.

"You don't know a damn thing about me."

Jin sniffed aside the tears that were forming in her eyes, straightened her back and crossed her arms defiantly.

"I know enough."

She jerked her chin towards Soza.

"Does she?"

Seeming to have finally hit her boiling point, Azula jabbed a finger towards Jin.

"Silence! I won't listen to another moment of you berating him! You should consider yourself fortunate to be able to speak to him at all, and I'm not about to allow another disrespectful work come out of your mouth!"

Turning back to Sasuke, he watched her smile return as heated desire flickered in her eyes.

"He is perfect, he is mine, and I won't allow anyone to disparage him or suggest otherwise."

It would have been simple enough to dismiss that all by itself as just another one of Azula's obsessive statements, but as Sasuke moved his eyes over hers, he saw something that caught his attention.

By this point, he was starting to accept that for the time being, Azula's wild desires were something he was not going to be able to stifle, at least by any sort of conventional means. And as such, words like the ones she had just spoken were to be expected; she had already blown off the suggestion he had made that her mother was better for Sasuke than she was, so quick was her mind able to cast off any such ideas that anyone was more suited for him than she was. But through all that heated desire, Sasuke saw something else.

She was completely and entirely confident that he wasn't going to tell Soza the truth.

Perhaps the information had slipped out in front of her mother and brother, perhaps she had done the best that she could to keep it from him as well, and only through excessive demanding on his end had she revealed the truth to the person she practically seemed to worship. But through her hate and obsession, she had come to the conclusion that Sasuke wouldn't tell Soza the reality of her existence. Even despite the way she had so entirely allowed herself to practically kneel at his feet, she thought about the same of him as her daughter: predictable and controllable.

Azula somehow believed that she had Sasuke as much under her thumb as her daughter.

Sasuke looked into those eyes that glistened with that confidence and felt a single, vicious thought pass through his head.

Fuck you, Azula.

"Soza," he called out, while maintaining complete eye contact with the mother of his child. "Listen close."

Sasuke was vaguely aware of everyone else watching him intently, but he refused to break eye contact with Azula as he let his voice wash out over the cabin, cool and collected, even as he felt the most oppressive level of shame start to suffocate his insides.

"On the night you were conceived, I was not of sound mind."

He figured that this would be the best place to start and while he knew that there was no need to get overtly graphic with the tale, he had no intention of hiding anything pertinent from his daughter or anyone else; they were all about to hear the truth, something that until only moments ago, Sasuke had wondered if he might take to his grave. When he had spoken to Jin, neither of them had known the extent to which Azula's actions had gone, and Zuko and Ursa, while having heard right from Azula's mouth what she had done, also didn't know what had really happened. To this point, only Sasuke and Azula knew the truth, and for over a decade, she had held it all to herself. And as Sasuke watched her eyes widen at the thought that her world was about to be completely exposed, he couldn't have felt more indulged to continue, even as humiliation at his failure haunted him more than ever.

"I had partaken in an excessive amount of drinking and was inebriated as such. But unbeknownst to me until not hours ago, my drinks had been laced with a drug native to the Fire Nation, one that further wore on my senses down, damaged my short-term memory and encouraged the loss of such."

Azula's eyes continued to widen as her mouth began to fall loosely ajar.

"The next morning when I awoke, I had no memory of the previous night and was only privy to a substantial headache and a rather loopy feeling that I can only assume must have been a side effect of that same drug. But it had done its job, and I left this continent none the wiser to what had actually taken place."

It was his last chance to recede on what he was about to say, to back down and keep the chaos that had broken out over the bridge from worsening, but he only paused a moment as he turned to face Soza. She had lifted her head to make firm eye contact with him, and even as her face glistened with dread, he could see the look of certainty in her gaze that told him she wasn't backing down. He decided not to either.

"Your mother drugged and raped me to conceive you, fully intending to make sure I had no idea that you even existed after the fact."

Sasuke found himself wondering if Soza was even of an age where his words would have any meaning to her, but as her eyes widened and her face began to split into an expression of despair, he knew that despite her young age, she clearly was not as naïve as he might have guessed. He heard several gasps and soft utterances behind him, but he gave them no mind; as Soza's face began to slip into agony, he didn't care about anyone else just then, he only wanted to walk forward, kneel in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders. But he found that he couldn't manage that as his feet felt rooted to the hard metal floor beneath him.

"I use the word 'stolen' with her, because I lost eleven years of my daughter's life."

To his shock, Sasuke felt a burning behind his eyes and his vision blurred slightly. He realized as he felt that long forgotten sensation just how much he was hurting himself, the image of Soza's face feeling an adequate reflection to his insides, nothing but pain and heartbreak.

What are you doing? Get ahold of yourself, you pathetic sack of shit.

He hadn't expected to feel this as he made the admittance that he was, but the tears were there anyway, and he did everything he could to keep them from breaking over his cheeks.

"And no matter how much power I have, no matter how much will I try and bring to bear, I will… never be able to get that time back."

The short, horribly painful truth having been spoken, Sasuke fell silent and simply met his daughter's gaze. She looked up at him, looking very small, her body seized up as though she were very cold. Her lower lip trembled and he could see those same tears welling in her eyes, but unlike him, nothing stopped them from spilling down her face as the space of about ten feet between them seemed to stretch into miles.

"I'm sorry," he said, the most pathetic thing he could to try and amend his absence, but it was all that he felt like was left. He heard steps behind him as well as Ursa's voice, sounding like it was trying desperately hard to remain controlled.

"It wasn't your—" was all she managed to say before Sasuke whipped his head around at a sudden sharp movement out of the corner of his eye.

"Stay back," Azula hissed, her finger directed at Ursa, a wisp of blue fire sizzling around the nail. Her mother stopped walking forward, but of everyone there, she seemed the least afraid, her brow furrowing, though her eyes seemed to grow deeply tired.

"Azula, it's out. Stop trying to front."

"Front?!" she shouted. "I did what I had to, are you trying to tell me that none of you—"

It wasn't a voice or a movement that cut her off, save for her own as she looked past Ursa to see everyone else.

Ty Lee had turned her head into Jin's shoulder and was sobbing silently, her body shaking as Jin had an arm around her, looking at Sasuke with an expression that was equal parts surprised, proud and devastated. Aang had his head turned down, eyes closed and knuckles pressed against the bridge of his nose as if he was trying hard not to acknowledge what had just been revealed as beside him, Sokka's expression was saddened and he looked like he was fighting back being sick. Zuko had turned away and was looking out the window panes wrapping around the bridge, his expression hidden behind the back of his head.

Suki, Mai and Katara had come together with the looks of pure ire they wore on their face. Suki and Katara both looked like they wanted to rush Azula then and there, Katara's face in particular alive with a very intense malice, but Mai looked just as hurt as she did angry, and Sasuke saw that one of her hands was pressed absently to her stomach. Azula stared at every last one of them, the stunned look on her face becoming angry and defensive.

She still doesn't see what's wrong about any of this.

Sasuke found he didn't care just then what everyone else thought of what he had just said. He looked back to his daughter and past Yue who looked seemed to be trying hard to melt into the wall and disappear. He met her eyes for the briefest second and found he didn't have a problem shooting her a glare which caused her to jam her eyes shut and look down; though there really wasn't much of a reason for it, he felt an angry satisfaction that she might be feeling guilt for bringing this all on.

But his eyes found his daughter, and he let it just be them.

She sniffed and aggressively wiped tears from her cheeks before swallowing and looking up to him, her voice coming out quietly and defeated.

"I thought my whole life that whoever my father was had just… he didn't care about me."

It was Sasuke's intuition more than thought that caused him to step forward to stand right in front of her and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked sadly up at him and he knelt in front of his daughter to bring himself eye to eye with her. No matter the truth of it, no matter what reason he had for being absent for so much of her life, he had still left her alone. He remembered Ursa telling him that he had no reason to be sorry and Jin telling him just now that he needed to accept what had happened and allow himself to accept that he was the victim. But nothing they had said could make him think that he was any more the victim than Soza.

"There's nothing I can say that will make up for not being part of your life," he said quietly, hoping that his words were quiet enough that they wouldn't be overheard; Sasuke very much wanted this to be for her ears and her ears alone. "And I'm certain that you're hurting in a way right now that I cannot possibly understand. But I promise you, kid, this has got me hurting real bad myself."

She said nothing, but lowered her head to avoid his eyes and Sasuke watched as the metal floor was dotted with several tears. He could tell that she was holding back something she wanted to say, whether that be words of anger, or sadness, or whatever they might be. And all he knew was that he had to be ready to hear them, whenever Soza was ready to share them. Truly, he didn't know how best to handle this situation and despite the fact that he was fighting a painfully strong urge to make her feel better in whatever way he could, somehow he knew that for the time being, it might be well out of his power. It was clear to him that he wasn't going to break down any more than she already had in front of such an audience, even as tears spilled relentlessly down her cheeks, and Sasuke was not going to push her any more than she already had been that day. Where they went from there, Sasuke didn't know, but keeping her safe and of stable mind was all that was on his mind just then.

There came a sudden pounding of footsteps from outside the bridge, coming down the hall at a rather frantic speed. Soza inhaled and turned at the sound and Sasuke rose to his feet and gently pushed her behind him and she grabbed at his hand in a move that he might have assumed was instinctual. Still, feeling her small hand clench tightly at his made him feel a warmth that felt almost completely different to everything else he had felt that night.

Around the corner and bursting into the room came Roku and Sasuke felt his pulse quicken immediately. The old man was panting, his long white hair and beard somewhat disheveled as sweat dampened his face.

"You," Sasuke growled and Roku looked to him a moment before Siado came rushing into the room followed by several other of Ursa's men.

"Captain!" he called out, looking fairly out of breath himself. "I'm sorry, but he came running out of his room while we were doing rounds, and wouldn't stop for anything."

Roku, who spared only a moment looking at Sasuke, found Aang with his eyes and staggered further into the room.

"Aang!" he gasped out, and nearly collapsed against the younger man; it was then that Sasuke noticed something very strange about Roku as a whole. The edges of his body seemed to be blurry and fuzzy to his eyes as though just those parts of him were being looked at through eyes that had just woken up. Sasuke blinked rapidly and wiped his eyes against his wrist, but Roku's very form seemed to be having something very strange happen to it.

"Roku, what's wrong?!" Aang cried out, holding his predecessor upright. Sokka moved to Roku's other side to help hold him up and Katara approached as well, moving her hands in a motion that Sasuke remembered as the preparatory movements she made before attempting to heal someone. Raising a hand feebly to stave her off, Roku took in a rattling breath before speaking.

"Thank you, child, but my ailments are beyond even your abilities."

"What's the matter?" Zuko asked sharply as all attention became locked on the old man.

"There is little time," Roku managed and it was clear that even just speaking was something that took a significant amount of effort. "But when I awoke, I became aware of several things."

He gestured at himself and Sasuke looked more closely as Sokka, Katara and Aang, all being the closest to him, all briefly recoiled. It seemed that the blurriness that Sasuke had been seeing was a result of the old man's body actually disintegrating; from his clothes to his skin, the edges of his frame were dissolving at an almost imperceptible rate.

"Kyoshi's stunt has left the physical body I was forced to materialize into woefully damaged, irreparably so. Within a day, I would imagine that there would be nothing left of me."

Seeing the look on Aang's face, he shook his head urgently.

"But that is not the worst of it. We are being followed."

Realizing how glad his body was for an excuse to pounce, Sasuke leapt forward, feeling his hand leave Soza's grip. He grabbed Roku by the collar and slammed the weakened old man against the wall; though Roku was a couple inches taller than him, his knees gave out enough that Sasuke had him right on eye level with him.

"Sasuke, what are you doing?!" Aang shouted out, rushing up behind him. He felt the room's occupants all form up behind him, though the majority of them kept their distance; Aang grabbed his forearm and started to shout something again, but Sauske cut him off by knocking the Avatar away. It was then that he could feel the blood pounding in his ears and he realized just how angry he was.

This comes back to you, old man. You lied to me and now look where we are.

It was Ursa's hand falling softly on his shoulder that caused him to make sense of voices again, and she spoke in his ear, in a tone that was both gentle and warning.

"Sasuke. Let him go."

It took him a moment but eventually he did release his grip and Roku slumped to the ground in a gasping heap. Pulling in shaky breaths, he looked up at Sasuke with his exhausted and frantic eyes, yet Sasuke could see a sadness there that seemed almost reserved just for him.

"Are you trying to kill him?!" Suki snapped angrily off to his right, but again, Roku waved his hand shakily.

"No, he has every right to despise me for the part I've played in his betrayal. Despite my attempts to sway things for the better, I've only worsened the situation and I fear that my actions might only have gone and made things worse."

Slowly, he started to push himself against the wall, using it as leverage to get to his feet.

"But you must listen: I can tell that the spirits are closing in on us as we speak. I feel their presence as a result of the connection I have with them, and it remains steady and grows stronger still."

"They followed us using you?" Sasuke snarled and it was only Ursa moving her hand down behind him to gently squeeze his wrist that kept him from wrapping his hand around the old man's throat. He had no time for Roku's apologies and he was not about to sit here and let anyone else's pity take charge, not Aang's or anyone else's.

"Yes and no," Roku said. "When I passed out some hours ago, I felt nothing, no tell that they were anywhere near us. They are following us now because of me, but it's something else entirely that has allowed them to find us in the first place. I don't know what it is that has allowed them to do that, but through that catalyst, they've found me, and are currently tracking us as a result of my presence."

He managed to stand fully and clutched at his chest, wincing.

"Time is very much of the essence," Roku said and met Sasuke's eyes, looking at him with very intentional meaning. "I will tell you what I can, before I trust that you will do what must be done."

In a split second, Sasuke understood his intent and he gave a tight nod. Roku returned it as everyone, save for Ursa, looking in confusion between the two of them, trying to make sense of what had just transpired. Sasuke supposed that Roku had forgone outright saying that in order to keep from Aang, or whomever else from trying to prevent it from happening, but there was not that kind of time to be wasted.

"You must go north," Roku said. "Past even where the most daring waterbenders have dared travel, past the capital of the Northern Water Tribe to the plains of glaciers that lie beyond."

"No one has ever gone further than a dozen miles north of the capital," Katara interrupted. "The land there is windswept by storms and remains inhospitable even to the most cold-acclimated fauna."

"There are reasons for that," Roku said before looking back to Sasuke. "Were this any other kind of situation, Sasuke, I would ask that you appeal to Kyoshi's better nature and ask to speak with Raava herself, but…"

He seemed to grow quite saddened then.

"Not since the day that you destroyed Sozin's Comet have either Raava or Vaatu shown themselves, even to us. They've seemed to have disappeared even from the spirit world, hence the ease with which those like Kyoshi were able to form this uprising. There have been spirit portals accessible by the Avatars for centuries, but… I fear the time that our worlds are combined must come to an end."

Aang stepped forward, his eyes wide.

"You mean…?"

Roku nodded without taking his eyes from Sasuke.

"Sealed away after Raava's merging with Avatar Wan, the very energy source that allows for the fabric between our two worlds to exist was hidden far away for fear that its power could be found and harnessed. It is the energy source that drives that very ability for our worlds to be able to connect, for us to move between by whatever means, what allows the original spiritual portals in the north and south to be opened by the Avatar's hand."

Reaching out, Roku grabbed Sasuke's shoulder.

"You must destroy this energy source, Sasuke. I fear that as long as you live, the spirits will continue to swarm into the material world, and there will never truly be peace. For even if they succeeded in taking the lives of you and your daughter, the lengths they would go to in order to ensure lasting peace would be nothing short of tyrannical. You must do this for the good of all, not just your own."

Staring back into the old man's desperate eyes, Sasuke briefly looked over to Aang. The Avatar was looking on, his expression passive even as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"You saved this world once, Sasuke," Roku said. "I'm afraid I have to ask you to do it again."

To this, Sasuke said nothing immediately, but looked around at everyone else present. All eyes were on him, no longer angry or resentful, or anything like that, but fully attentive and focused. Even Azula had seemingly cast aside her anger and envy as she looked almost hungrily at him. Everyone watched him carefully, seeming to be anxiously awaiting what he was going to say. Clearly what had just been asked of him by Roku was something that had Aang rather emotional and while he wanted to ask more about what carrying this out actually meant, but he knew as well as anyone that time was not on their side. He tilted his head slightly back to look towards the ceiling, feeling that toxic, ever-present frustration hissing through his veins.

Every problem this world faces, anything that's significant like this, and it winds up being up to me. And this time, it's my fault we're where we are.

There was a part of him that wanted to tell Roku off, that if this world needed saving, it could save itself. For a moment, he even sucked in breath to snarl those selfish words, but he instead turning that inhale into a long, drawn out attempt to calm himself; underneath his cloak, Ursa's hand holding his out of sight made denying his rage easier, and it only took a glance over to his daughter to spur on his next words.

"This energy source… where do I find it? Is it protected?"

Roku didn't answer immediately as he seemed to be slightly relieved that Sasuke was agreeing to his request.

"Far north, I fear, further than anyone has ever dare trekked."

"Is it protected? Will I just be able to find it and destroy it?" Sasuke asked, and Roku gave a tired chuckle that echoed with enough darkness to make Sasuke take pause.

"The energy source is indeed protected for it is not as material an object as you might think: Raava and Vaatu have rarely worked together in any capacity, but when Raava sealed away the energy, it took on a life of its own. This is only what I've been able to infer from lifetimes of scrying the spirit world itself, for the story of this energy has long been forgotten by time, as there have been well over a hundred Avatars who were never told this story. I have struggled much to put together even as little as I have."

This was clear as Aang seemed to be looking on with the utmost attentiveness and intensity, and he didn't even seem to notice Katara putting her hand on his shoulder, much to her disconcertment.

"The energy created a sentience and body for itself in the form of a giant; a great, massive creature whose shadow it was said was enough to blot out the sun."

Roku met Sasuke's eyes when he said the name, a name that caused the most involuntary twitch to pass up his spine.

"Koloss. He harbors the energy source, and he must be destroyed for the energy to be dispersed into nothingness."

Sasuke considered this a moment before speaking flatly, "A giant. One I can kill? What are its abilities?"

Roku shook his head like the tolling of a sad bell.

"I'm afraid I can be of no use to you there. Other than a passing statement of his size, all I know of Koloss himself is that it took the combined efforts of both Raava and Vaatu to seal him away, as legend states it, 'in frigid lands northward, to the summit of the world'."

"How could Raava fight if she had merged with Wan?" Aang blurted out. "How could she have done that if she's moved from Avatar to Avatar and now rests in… in…"

He brought his finger absently to his chest as if to indicate himself. Roku smiled and put a hand on Aang's shoulder.

"Her spiritual form has always remained in our land, though her consciousness and energy has always also lived on within all Avatars, from Wan to you."

His smile flickered and faded.

"Hence how worrying it is that she has vanished so."

Sasuke didn't know who or what Raava or Vaatu were, nor did he care much to delve into the particulars. All he needed to know was one more thing, and he asked the question simply and plainly.

"If I defeat this Koloss, Kyoshi will be defeated in turn?"

Roku met his gaze and spoke with as much seriousness as could be put into a person's tone.

"The spirits will all be returned to their plane of existence, forever severed from the land of the living."

That was all Sasuke needed.

"Right then," he said curtly and turned to Ursa. "I'd say we need to deviate from our previously planned course."

She nodded.

"We can continue west up until we—"

"No!" Roku suddenly exclaimed, waving a hand wildly. As attention turned hastily back to him, he lowered his head in apology.

"I'm sorry, but please refrain from discussing your plan just yet. Whatever I don't hear doesn't become something that Kyoshi's side can force me to divulge."

"Oh, right," Sasuke said, turning back to Roku. He tried not to think that this might actually wind up being a touch satisfying. "You're ready, then?"

Roku drew himself up as best he was able and looked to Aang.

"I'm sorry, Aang. Perhaps someday we will be able to sit again as equals, but if all goes as it should, this may very well be the last time we'll see one another for a long time."

Aang's brow furrowed as he looked at Roku in confusion. Judging by his expression, as well as Jin's, Ty Lee's, Yue's, Katara's, and Zuko's, they hadn't caught on to what was about to happen. Azula, Ursa, Sokka, Mai, and Suki however seemed to know what was coming based on their expressions. Roku looked back to Sasuke, and gave a quick sigh.

"Good luck."

He nodded and Sasuke spoke sharply without taking his eyes off Roku.

"Soza. Close your eyes."

He didn't wait long to know if she had complied; part of him wondered if she hadn't already seen enough murder by this point to be desensitized to it, but he didn't want to give Aang or anyone else a chance to try and stop this from happening, not with how precious time had become. Still, just before he moved, Aang cried out and stepped forward.

"No, Sasuke, don't—!"

Chidori crackled around the end of Sasuke's fingertips as his hand passed through Roku's chest as easily as it might have pressed through warm butter. He kept his eyes locked on Roku as he watched the light fade from the old man's eyes before he withdrew his hand in a quick, precise motion, the heat from the Chidori turning the blood from his hand into a copper smelling steam. Catching the body as it went limp, he lowered it gently to sit on the ground before standing and watching as the rate at which Roku's body was dissolving increased exponentially. Within moments, the body had become nothing but a cloud of blurry dust and then shortly thereafter, not even that. After not even a minute, any sign that Roku had been there at all was gone, and only then did Aang find his voice again.

"Why did you do that?!"

Suki spoke for him, her voice level, as she said about the gist of what Sasuke would have.

"He knew that the longer he was aboard, the greater a risk he posed to us. He believed that we're being followed as a result of his presence, and he just wanted to make sure he told us what he did before asking Sasuke to… do what he did."

As he turned towards the rest of the group, Sasuke tried to empathize with the sickened looks he saw on the faces of Aang, Jin, Ty Lee, and Sokka, but after what he knew Roku had done, regardless of his motivations, he couldn't quite manage it.

It took Siado reappearing in the doorway to the bridge for Sasuke to realize that he and his fellow crewmates had left at all.

"Captain!" he called out and Ursa turned to look at him. "We used scopes on every back angle of the ship that we could, but there's nothing that we can see behind us. If we are being followed, they're not close enough to make visual contact with yet."

He furrowed his brow as he looked around the bridge.

"Where'd the old man go?"

Sasuke ignored this question, still well aware that time might likely have been intensely against them. He turned to Ursa and surprised himself by asking, "Do you have a plan B?"

There had been plenty of times in his life where he had resorted to the ideas of others, though this was mostly done grudgingly; Sasuke never gave much credence to the thoughts of others, even if it wasn't his place to plan, but now, he couldn't have felt more assured turning control over to Ursa. She looked at him, her eyebrows twitching in the briefest moment of surprise and he shrugged.

"Your first plan was just fine, but we appear to have a new heading and that isn't west. I need to get north and find this Koloss, and if we're being tailed…"

For a moment, he trailed off as perhaps the most obvious solution occurred to him. Somehow, even knowing what the response would be, he still decided to at least try it.

"Regardless of his sentiment, we don't know if Roku taking the fall here actually got rid of whatever tail we have on us, and I don't want to make this harder for anyone than it needs to be… I have no problem facing down whatever's behind us and then going north on my own, if it means that everyone here will be—"

The word 'safe' didn't even get to leave his mouth before Mai's voice cracked out like a whip. Her words were strained and she didn't look at him as she spoke, but somehow, her low voice made him feel far more uneasy than anything Azula could have screamed.

"Don't even fucking finish that, Sasuke."

Aang seemed to flinch a touch at her words, but he nodded aggressively.

"We're in this together. We're not helpless, and we're not removed from this conflict; Kyoshi may have decided to target you, but Ursa's right. We care about you and Soza, and we need to protect this world just as much as the both of you. We're doing this together."

The Avatar still looked in a great deal of pain, surely over a great many things, but he was trying very hard to mask it. Sokka dropped a hand on Aang's shoulder in approval and Sasuke made a quick glance around to see that everyone, though with differing emotions, like the enthusiasm from Ty Lee and Jin, the solemn aura from Suki, or the almost automatic gesturing from Azula, everyone was nodding in response to his words. Despite the absolute chaos that had just exploded over the bridge minutes ago, Roku's warning and instruction seemed to have at least temporarily united everyone in the ideal of restoring peace to their world.

Sighing, he turned to his left away from everyone else and saw Yue nodding herself, but she stopped and swallowed as he met her eyes. Despite the anger he still felt towards her for the hell she had just raised, he still felt a stab of emotion as he contemplated what she might be going through.

Just please don't let her actually be jealous… the women of this world are going to get me fucking killed enough as is.

Lastly, he looked to Soza who was watching him intently.

"Soza, I'm afraid I can't take you home, we have to save the world first," he said, deciding to test the waters on her state of mind. Such a broad statement would either show him just how hurt and exhausted she still was mentally, or prove that she had just as much resolve and will as her psychotic mother and idiot of a father. It seemed to be the latter as she gave her chin a sharp incline of a nod, her fists clenched at her side.

By your lead, kid.

He looked back to Ursa who gave him a nod as well before he even had to ask a question.

"If we move forward under the assumption that we're being followed, we need to set up a decoy. I don't know how we'd do that without—"

"This vessel is equipped with an emergency shell," Azula quite suddenly interrupted and even just hearing her speak in a rational tone of voice was a bit of a surprise to everyone there. "It's a pod with enough fuel for a flight of about eighty kilos, space for eighteen passengers and a compartment for supplies."

"Is it stocked already?" Ursa asked and Azula shook her head.

"Anything that would need to be loaded into it would have to taken from the ship's stores," she replied and Ursa nodded, her eyes glazing over in thought. Sasuke supposed he could have contributed to the conversation in some way, but he supposed he was just as stunned as everyone else that these two women were having something of a civil discussion. Ty Lee in particular looked terribly on edge as though she was preparing to spring forward and dive between them when Azula would inevitably crack again and try and bite out her mother's throat, but somehow, both of them Ursa and her daughter looked unbelievably calm.

"Alright," Ursa said after a moment. "We need to bring this ship near level with the cloud line; we'll keep the ship headed west while the shell detaches and diverts into the cloudbank."

There came an uncomfortable silence wherein the reality of what needed to be done set in before Ursa actually addressed it.

"That means, however, that someone will need to continue to pilot this vessel west. And to boot, the space aboard the shell is—"

"Don't worry about it, captain," Siado said and Sasuke looked over to see the hook handed man smiling, perhaps looking the most at ease of anyone in the room. As Ursa slowly turned to regard her second mate, he continued.

"Me and the boys will keep this beauty heading west, maybe try some fancy maneuvers if we're still being tailed. We'll aim for the coast where we landed the double-canoe and when we're sure we've lost whoever's hooked to our ass, we'll start working our way north."

Sasuke could see a million thoughts going through Ursa's head, denial of this plan, understanding that it could work and most urgently, fear for her crew. He had to remind himself that she had been traveling the seas with them for longer than she had even known her own children, and this was surely a difficult prospect for her to even consider. Siado seemed to sense this as well and his confident smile softened.

"It's okay, captain. We'll make it just fine, this ship handles as intuitive as any waterbound vessel we've sailed before. You've got a path you have to follow, and we owe you our part to make sure you get where you need to go."

"I can't ask you to—" Ursa started, but he raised his hook hand.

"You're not asking us nothing. We're doing this because we want to."

For a moment, he and Ursa looked unblinkingly at one another and Sasuke got the feeling a great many unsaid words were passing between them. Then, he looked over at Sasuke and cracked a fresh smile.

"And we won't forget you still owe us."

Sasuke allowed himself to return a small smirk.

"Neither will I."

Siado looked at him a moment longer before looking back to Ursa.

"Seems to me you oughta get going."

The look of sadness in Ursa's eyes was nearly enough to make Sasuke walk over and put an arm around her, but he knew that would do nothing but exacerbate a great many things. Instead, he watched as she seemed to struggle a moment longer before turning away from Siado and whipped her head back around to face everyone else. Sasuke thought he saw a tear fly from her eye as she did.

"Everyone, head below and gather what necessities you can find. Focus on lasting food and clothes, and load it into the shell; Azula, can you show everyone where it is?"

Her daughter nodded and Ursa continued; Sasuke still couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"We all meet there in a half hour regardless. We don't need to waste more time than necessary."

Without another word, Azula strode past them all, brushing even past Soza without a look and left the bridge, leaving everyone to jog along after in her wake; Aang, Katara, Jin, Sokka, Zuko, Ty Lee, and Suki were out just as quickly as she was, and Sasuke saw Yue look back at him with a look that desperately said that she wanted to say something before she grit her teeth and left the bridge after everyone else. Siado too followed her and it wasn't until she shouldered past him did he realize that Mai hadn't gone with the initial group. She had her head down and Sasuke thought he heard a shaky breath from her as she did. As she rounded the corner, black hair whipping out of sight, Sasuke stared after her in concern before Ursa too walked past him. He tried to catch her eye, but she seemed to ignore him and instead glanced down at Soza with a brief and pitying look before leaving as well.

It took Sasuke a moment to realize then that he and Soza were alone together.

She seemed to have noticed the same thing and looked around to almost seem to double check; looking back forward, he caught her looking almost shy before she spoke softly.

"Can I look for supplies with you?" she hesitantly asked and Sasuke blinked for a moment in surprise. When so many questions of such excessive gravity had been all he had heard over the past hour, to now hear so innocent and inconsequential a request was almost an entirely relieving feeling. He walked over and knelt in front of her again and found that she was no longer worried about meeting his eyes as he rested a hand on her shoulder.

What is this? When did I get so sappy? This isn't me.

"I'll meet up with you, but there's something I need to do first," he said and she seemed to brighten up slightly at this. For a moment, they looked warmly at one another before her eyes clouded and she looked just past him.

"Did you kill Avatar Roku?" she asked and Sasuke looked at her for only a second before nodding. Soza wasn't stupid and seemed well more matured and intelligent than someone her age should perhaps have been.

Wonder how that got forced on her, he thought bitterly and had to swallow down a sudden surge of rage. Soza swallowed too and seemed to think hard about something before turning and walking quickly to the bridge's door; a moment before she passed through it, she turned back to him.

"Don't be too long," she said and then seemed to grow almost angry at herself, as though she found these shows of anything resembling attachment unbecoming. Darting off and leaving Sasuke alone with his thoughts, he spared himself a few moments to walk to the wall and rest his forehead against it, closing his eyes. Though he had been able to hold so much of his negative energy at bay, he could feel it starting to overwhelm him, now that he was finally alone.

He tried to collect his anger, his frustration, his sadness, his bitterness and force them all out of him in a single flush of his mental processes but found they clung to his conscious like sap. Feeling his lips start to curl and he felt the beginning of a scream of pure ire start to build in his throat.

"Can I look for supplies with you?"

Soza's voice resounded through his head and the hate and hurt and everything else seemed to vanish. Sasuke opened his eyes and blinked a moment, trying to figure out how he had just been able to calm himself just by replaying those seven words in his head. Looking to the door, he paused a moment, thinking to himself.

What is this child that she can make all of this… rot and rage just disappear like that?

He supposed he had a couple guesses, but he shook this aside. With his emotions under control, he knew there was something he had to do.

---

Distantly, Mai felt somewhat badly that while they were supposed to be gathering necessities, she had distanced herself from the group as quickly as she had been able and had promptly thrown herself out into the night air, leaning over the guardrail as she tried to control her breathing. This wasn't the first panic attack she had experienced that night and she somehow doubted it would be her last. She had felt it coming along the entire time they had been on the bridge, from the moment everyone had gathered all the way through to Roku's bizarre passing. Now that she was finally able to give into the panic, she gripped the rail under knuckle-white grips and bent over it, jamming her eyes shut and trying to keep from crying.

Mai didn't know how she was going to be able to mange this utter hopelessness she had been feeling, this utter unknowingness that came from her thoughts. And to think that only days ago, she had been experiencing something close to excitement, to fulfillment… all quashed know at the idea that—

"Mai, are you alright?"

Sasuke's voice shouldn't have been something that made her jump quite so badly, but she leapt where she stood anyway and yelped, spinning to face him. He stood just in front of the door to the catwalk that went around the airship, seemingly having done so in silence and she scowled even as her heart began to hammer even more than it had been.

"Asshole," she muttered, looking away from him as quickly as she could. "Didn't have to surprise me like that."

He waited a beat before replying.

"Mai, that's the fourth time I've said something to you since I stepped out here."

Mai felt a lump rise in her throat as she wondered if he really had been standing there for longer than she had assumed. Her stomach churned even as she wanted to snap at him to stop lying, but she couldn't. She knew he was probably telling the truth. But with the way she was, she imagined a lot might have slipped by her.

"What do you want?" she asked sharply instead.

"I want you to answer my question," he said back, much more gently than she would have expected him to ever speak to her. Not willing or answer him, or more likely, not willing to even think of what her answer might be, they both stood in silence until Sasuke sighed.

"Look, I can tell something's very much the matter with you. I'm not exactly the fastest on picking things up with people, but you've made it pretty easy even for me."

She heard him pace slowly behind her, gradually drawing closer and she wanted to turn and scream at him to leave her alone. But she couldn't, only wait as he approached her and continued to speak in that soft tone that didn't seem at all like him.

But it is him… Mai, it's him, you can stop being so scared, you know that this is him.

"Back in Ba Sing Se, you got between me and Koh when I went to attack him. And I didn't miss that you had your back to him and not me. And ever since the spirits showed themselves, you've looking completely sick to your stomach; I know this whole situation has everyone on edge, but you've looked a lot worse than anyone else."

Sasuke paused as he seemed to wait to see if any words were going to come from her after what he had said, but when none did, he sighed again.

"I can't be sure, but I think something happened between you and Koh. And I'm not going to ask you to bear your heart to me or anything, I don't except anything like that from anybody after what I've done. But I am worried about you and…"

Just behind her now, he let out a soft growl of frustration.

"Just at least promise me you'll take this to Zuko? Just based on how you've been acting, I can tell you haven't gone to anyone about this, so please, just at least talk to someone about it. Things aren't great right now, and I have a feeling that they aren't getting better anytime soon. I just… I just want you to take care of yourself."

Another pause in which she said nothing, merely tried not to notice just how numb her fingers felt with him standing just behind her.

I can't feel like this… I can't…

"I'm sorry, Mai," he said in his gentlest tone yet, and she heard his footsteps start to retreat. A fresh wave of panic rushed through her and she felt words leap from her throat, bidden there by her desperation.

"I can't."

The words rang out in the night air, and she felt relief as Sasuke stopped walking away from her. He said nothing and she dug her heels into the metal grating below her and forced herself to turn around. Standing a few meters behind her, he was watching her silently and Mai knew that he was waiting for elaboration. Pulling in a shaky breath, Mai added two words that she hoped would add sense to her statement.

"I can't tell Zuko."

She saw his eyes flash briefly and she cursed herself.

Am I doing this to him now? Really? With all he has to worry about, Azula, Soza, Ursa, all the chaos our worlds are throwing at him, and I'm going to make him deal with this.

But the very idea that she might actually be willing to tell someone what had her so utterly terrified to the point of having these panic attacks kept her from feeling more guilty than desperate.

"Why not?" Sasuke asked, crossing his arms. It was clear that he wanted to avoid the subject, but Mai wasn't sure she would be able to, not if she was about to be truthful with him.

"Because he can never know what happened," she said, and knew how frustrating those words must have been even as Sasuke tightened his lips.

"Mai, I don't know how I'm supposed to help you if you don't tell me what—"

Suddenly feeling a sensation like a wave breaking over her mind, Mai realized it was now or never.

"Koh fucked me, Sasuke," she blurted out and felt her body tense up sharply. She had said it, it was out in the open. There was no taking that back.

Sasuke hadn't moved from where he stood, but she watched as his chin slowly inclined and she could see muscles working savagely in his mouth.

"What?" he said, so quietly that she barely heard it, but the rage in his voice was unmistakable.

Don't stop now.

"Days ago, there were reports that an outpost right on the border of the Earth and Fire Nations had been attacked," she said, wishing she could get the entire story out in just a word. "The sole witness claimed that it was you who killed everyone else there; immediately, the council put everything on alert, and drew up the military to put out flyers and carry the news that you had returned. Just like you said when you left, they pinned so much on you, and you were a wanted man, even after the searching for you was officially called off years ago. Even that fucking slimeball Gilbert got in on the action and before we knew it, every major city in every nation was looking for you."

The way he was looking at her, the way he had seemed to immediately seal himself up after speaking so softly to her, was breaking her heart. He had been that open just moments ago and was now looking like the same Sasuke she always remembered, so closed off and cold, so—

Stop. Keep talking.

"I guess the idea that you might have actually been back after over a decade really messed with all of us, myself included. And one night… one night, I was standing on a balcony in the palace, alone. And… you came to see me."

She closed her eyes briefly in frustration.

"I know now it was Koh, I should have known something was off, something was off, but I was just… just so out of sorts. He approached me as you, and… damn it all, Sasuke, I want to tell you that it was all him, I want so bad to say that…"

Tears were flowing before she knew it and she wiped at them angrily with her forearm.

"But I wanted it. He pressed himself on me, but gave me so many chances to back out. But I wanted it so bad. I've been fighting with Zuko again, and I don't see Ty hardly at all anymore, and I just…"

She raised a fist over her head as she nearly started screaming her frustration, but was slowly able to bring herself back down to something of a calm state.

"But it happened. And I… I'm so scared, Sasuke."

Her fist opened and the hand came down to rub over her abdomen, Sasuke's eyes following the movement. Despite the cold demeanor he had readopted, his eyes softened slightly with realization.

"I don't know what it would mean… but I've never been more scared in my life."

Having said what she had to, she lowered her head and cried as silently as she could. This was humiliating enough for Sasuke to see her like this, as he no doubt stood there, silently resenting her. She deserved it, she knew she did, for being so caught up in her loneliness and lust that she hadn't known a false Sasuke from the real one. Of course he was going to give into his rage again, and why wouldn't he after this? She deserved to be judged by him, just as she had spent so many days judging him in turn, hating him for leaving, for doing what he had done to her, for—

Mai felt arms around her and she looked up just in time to see Sasuke pulling her into a hug. Her chin over his shoulder, she felt his warmth as he wrapped her in a firm but gentle embrace. Her eyes wide with perhaps the largest surprise she had heard that night, she listened to his voice as a few errant strands of his spiky black hair brushed her cheek.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your feelings for me made that happen. I'm sorry you had to experience that."

Mai was stunned.

You're not the same as you were, Sasuke, are you?

A gentle murmur caused his body to vibrate briefly against hers.

"You know, I spent so many days trying to convince myself that leaving was the right choice… some real bullshit, huh."

Mai felt a smile break over her face even as fresh tears streaked down her face as she buried it in the warmth of his shoulder.

"Some real fucking bullshit, Sasuke."

She roped her own arms around his back and held him back, savoring this moment for all it was worth. There had been a wild, desperate part of her that was hoping he might reciprocate her implications, might confess that he wished it had been him and not Koh, but she knew that was as impossible a wish as anything could be. If Yue's outburst had meant anything, he had found companionship elsewhere, though, as she thought about it, that seemed almost just as impossible.

"Ursa?" she inquired quietly, her voice slightly muffled against his shoulder. Sasuke sighed and she felt his back depress slightly at the exhale.

"I'm not going to be hearing the end of that for a while… but yes, Ursa. I've… I've been on my own for a while. And she somehow helped me open up like I never expected I would. I won't try and explain it, but… she's made me feel happy in ways I can't describe."

His voice dropped an octave.

"And I don't just mean in 'that' way."

Mai laughed, shocked she was even able to.

"I know, Sasuke. I always knew that you would never seek out a relationship with sex as the end goal."

They fell silent a moment before she dared to ask, "She said it was casual… is that true?"

He waited an even longer stretch before replying.

"I don't know."

Mai left it at that. It was stupid of her to be thinking about relationships at a time like this, but she couldn't help it. The fact that she was even able to be here now, holding him and being held by him in turn was something she knew she needed to be deeply grateful for. Closing her eyes again, she allowed herself to simply try and relax, even as the hands holding Sasuke kept wanting to drift back to her stomach.

"Hey, Mai?"

His voice came out carefully, almost hesitant.

"Hmm?" she replied and he slowly broke their embrace, pulling apart from her, but keeping his hands on her upper arms as though to keep her steady. His expression was contemplative as though he wasn't sure whether or not he should say what he wanted to.

"What is it?" she urged gently and watched as he cocked his head almost as though it were a nervous tick.

"I… I don't know if you'd want this. But I can use my powers to… look inside you. See if there's anything… you know, in there."

Mai knew then why he was holding her the way he was and she felt her knees nearly buckle from the mere gravity of his words. Her head spun with a sudden dizziness as she considered what he had said.

I can know… right now, I can know.

She had gone from being reservedly excited at the idea that Sasuke might have impregnated her to horrified upon realizing Koh's deception, and while she had been wishing desperately to know if she really was bearing the spawn of some ancient primordial creature, the idea that she could know right at this moment…

Mai bent slightly briefly, swallowing down bile as she tipped slightly away from Sasuke; feeling her unsteady on her feet, he tightened his grip on her arms.

"Whoa, are you okay?"

Finding she could only shake her head, Mai tried to breathe through her suddenly very dry throat.

"I don't have to," he said quickly. "I just thought if you wanted… I—"

"No," Mai said, just as hurriedly. Just as she had needed to force herself into admitting to Sasuke what had transpired between her and Koh as well as all but admitting that she had some level of feelings for him, she needed to act on this before her fears got the better of her.

"No, you're right," she managed to get out. "I need to know."

I need to know.

Sasuke continued to watch her carefully.

"Are you sure? Because I—"

She shot him a look and he flicked his eyebrows.

"Alright, sorry."

Releasing her, he took a step back and rubbed the palms of his hands together. Mai felt her nerves starting to spike as she bit her lower lip in worry.

"Do I need to know anything before we do this?"

Lacing his fingers and pressing them together causing a swift cacophony of pops to resonate from them, he pursed his lips before replying.

"Well… I think it might feel a touch… weird. So be ready for that."

Mai felt her cheeks flush what was surely a bright pink that couldn't be seen in the dark they were standing in.

"Are you going to have to… to reach into my…"

She trailed off and Sasuke's eyes widened, and she was sure that his cheeks had just reddened as well.

"No, no, no," he quickly got out. "Nothing like that. No, all I need from you is to disrobe just at your stomach."

Not sure if she was feeling relief or disappointment, Mai did as he requested, exposing her belly to the brisk chill of the night air. Sasuke moved to stand directly in front of her before kneeling; his hands moved faster than her eye could track and finished in an intricate pattern of tied fingers before he looked up to her.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded, and he looked back to her midsection, paused a moment and pressed his hands to her belly.

Mai threw her head back at the sensation; it felt as though electricity were coursing through her waist, centering in her stomach and paralyzing her whole body. Then, that sensation changed, and it felt as though a hundred small fingers were literally inside her body, rooting around like a swarm of insects crawling about. She wanted to scream but restrained herself as the feeling continued to terrorize her. After what felt like an eternity, Sasuke's hands pulled away from her skin and she out a loud groan as she let herself collapse back against the guardrail, leaning on it for support.

"Weird my ass. That was the most awful, bizarre thing I've ever felt," she muttered and after a few moments of breathing heavily, she realized that Sasuke hadn't risen from where he had knelt. He remained down on that one knee, unmoving in the relative darkness, and any relief Mai had felt from being spared from any more of that terrible feeling was overrun by nerves.

"What's the matter?" she said breathlessly, feeling dizzy once more. Sasuke seemed to perk up at her words as though he had forgotten she was there; with a grunt, he pushed himself to his feet and replied.

"I'm just not very adept with using medical jutsu like that… took a little more out of me than I expected."

He leaned on the rail next to her and she cocked her head.

"Wait… so you can destroy a fucking comet, but you can hardly—"

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered irritably and Mai likely would have laughed were she still not so overcome with fear. He didn't speak for several seconds and each one that passed felt like an eternity before she finally couldn't stand it anymore.

"Well?" she asked and resisted the urge to slam her palms over her ears to keep from hearing an answer. Sasuke looked over, appearing briefly confused before catching on.

"Oh, sorry."

He put an arm around her shoulder and let out a sigh.

"Nothing's inside you, Mai. You're just fine."

Her entire body seemed to grow weightless and for a moment, Mai wondered if she even still possessed control of her faculties. Then, she felt the air in her lungs, the catwalk beneath her and Sasuke beside her as she threw her arms around him again. Not wanting him to see her cry again, she pressed her face into his shoulder as relief of the most overwhelming kind flooded her body.

"Thank you…" she whispered, hardly able to keep the tears out of her voice. "Thank you…"

He hugged her again as well, and as Mai blocked out all thoughts of spirits, of looming danger, of trips to parts unknown, she held Sasuke as tightly as she dared and tried not to be any more selfish than she already had been.

I'm okay.

There was no monstrosity growing inside her. There was nothing to fear from what Koh had done to her.

I'm okay.

And through all her relief and gratitude, she did allow herself the one exception to feel that desire, that single, pertinent desire, that Sasuke could hold her just a while longer.

---

Sasuke pressed into the ship as he walked past the storeroom wherein just about every one of his companions was tearing apart the drawers and cupboards for anything of use. Katara seemed to be micromanaging Aang and her brother while Azula was snapping orders at Jin and Ty Lee, neither of whom looked to be willing to defy her with time being so much of the essence, even as Jin scowled every time she looked away. Zuko seemed to be rather lost, and Sasuke watched as Soza rebuked him for trying to bring a jar of spice that he had mistook for flour; it was a rather comical sight to see Zuko stammering in the presence of a snapping eleven year old until Yue came over and much more patiently explained the differing labels and symbols to him. All in all, it was just as chaotic a picture of what had happened on the bridge earlier, though considerably more lighthearted. He overheard Suki telling off Sokka for trying to make along with a bottle of high-end Fire Nation gin, and he suppressed a smile as the sounds of them arguing faded away. Even in a moment like this, Sokka could still find a way to add levity, even if it did sound unintentional.

But, after making sure no one had seen him, Sasuke pushed past the room. The person he had been looking for wasn't present in the room, and after the time he had spent with Mai, he had little time before the rendezvous at the shell.

Mai...

He couldn't believe what she had been laboring under. Sasuke had wanted to fire off a hundred questions, but seeing how exhausted from what she had been feeling she had been, he had refrained, at least for the time being. There was another conversation to be had with her, but for now, it was enough to resolve in his head that he was going to kill Koh in the most gruesome painful way he could muster before this was all over.

Sasuke pulled in a deep, labored breath.

Calm down... focus.

He found her in a random cabin down a couple halls, standing with her back to him and looking at nothing in particular. Not even sure if she heard him come into the room, he gently asked out her name as he closed the door behind him.

"Ursa?"

Her head turned a fraction, just enough to acknowledge that she had heard him, but there was no response beyond that. Sasuke stood there awkwardly a moment, briefly reveling over how she brought such a different air about him than anyone else did. But still, he couldn't shake the fact that she was cold shouldering him and he stepped up to stand just behind her; he had little to no real understanding on how to be passionate and intimate other than what she had shown him, but if it would break this sudden ice, he was happy to at least make an attempt at it. He reached for her long, straight brown hair and gently drew his fingers through it, exposing the skin of her neck. Leaning in, he made to kiss her there before she turned sharply, meeting him with a less than friendly expression.

"Not now," she snapped and Sasuke could see the remnants of red around her eyes.

Ah, obviously.

"I'm sorry, Ursa," he said and she made a scoffing noise as she turned away from him.

"I thought you said we should quit wasting time apologizing to one another," she said, her tone just as unfriendly as her expression had been. Sasuke felt a strange urgency then; he had become accustomed to being able to turn to her for comfort, and seeing this side of her and being denied that comfort was jointly making him feel strangely anxious.

"I don't doubt it's hard to leave your men here while we leave… but they'll be alright."

"Don't even," she snapped and Sasuke felt a shiver as he heard a touch of Azula in her tone. "You can't possibly know that; we don't even know what we're up against, and I'm leaving them to face that. Not a single one of them is a bender and yet they'll willingly face down spirits."

"They respect you and are loyal to you," Sasuke said, trying to figure what best he could say to ease her mind. "To them, this isn't—"

She turned on him like a furious animal.

"I'm sorry, are you suggesting you know these men better than I do? Have you also been venturing the seas with them for the better part of your adult life?"

It was the first time that Sasuke had ever seen Ursa grow so consternated at him, and he felt himself almost feeling nervous as she glared at him.

"I'm not trying to suggest anything," he said as carefully as he could. "But would they be willing to do this if they didn't feel as strongly for you as they did. No, I don't know them like you do, but I do know what they're going to do. And that speaks for something, even to someone like me."

"They shouldn't have to do this," Ursa shot off, not seeming at all put at ease by his attempt at a soft tone. "If not for you, they wouldn't have to."

Sasuke closed his mouth and straightened his back as Ursa stood just before him, breathing heavily and continuing to glare before she the gravity of what she had just said struck and her eyes widened slightly.

Fine, have it your way.

"You know what, you're right," Sasuke said, dipping his voice in mock realization. "They shouldn't. It's almost like I should have just suggested that I deal with this myself instead of putting everyone here in further danger."

He turned back for the door.

"I'll just go head out, shall I? I'll fry every last bastard tailing us and then go and kill this primordial monster on my own."

Actually making to leave, he stopped as Ursa grabbed his wrist.

"Don't be stupid," she snapped at him before he yanked his arm away and put himself nose to nose with her. He realized he didn't want to fight, and all he wanted was for her to know that he wanted to help, whatever that meant.

"Ursa, I'm sorry that things have turned out the way they have. I came to try and make you feel better however I could, the same way that you've…"

He trailed off, the words catching in his throat as he stared into her beautiful, piercing eyes.

"The say way you've given me more peace of mind than I ever thought I'd feel. But clearly you've noticed that I'm terrible at things like this, and if being angry at me is what you need to do to feel better about all this, go right ahead."

Her eyes softened a touch and Sasuke felt his heartstrings plucked burningly.

"Though I'll admit, while I've been shouldering the hate of a lot of people for a while now, yours would probably be the hardest to handle right now."

Having said what he could, he stood before her, hoping that his honesty would be at least something she would be able to understand. For a long while, she only stared at him, not breaking contact with his eyes before Sasuke felt fingers lace themselves with his. Her touch made his gut swim as involuntarily as a breath, and she leaned forward to rest her forehead against his.

"Sasuke, I know you don't want this. I know the guilt you bear and how you blame so much on yourself… I don't want you feeling that."

She let out a shaky sigh and pulled her head back to show Sasuke just how much sadness she had swimming in her eyes.

"But without knowing if a single one of these men will live past the night, I guess you could say that I'm dealing with a bit of guilt myself right now."

Sasuke made to open his mouth, to reiterate that these men were making this choice of their own free will, but she closed her eyes and shook her head before he could, tightening her grip on his hands.

"I know I didn't make any of them come on this journey. But that doesn't make this any easier."

Taking a hand from hers, Sasuke reached up to gently brush a thumb against her cheek where he could see the streak from a tear track well since cried.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, feeling rather useless. He hated moments like these, where he realized that despite how much more powerful he was than any single person in this world, he would never be able to be of much to use to anyone in a case like this. If he could only tell her that everything would be alright, and if that was the truth, he would trade anything for a power like that.

Her mouth twitched in a sad smile and she pulled him to the room's single cot where they both sat down. She took in a deep breath before speaking to him.

"We don't have a lot of time… but there is something you could do for me, if you'd be willing."

"Anything," Sasuke replied automatically. His mind immediately leapt to one or two conclusions that Ursa might have pulled him to the bed for, conclusions that caused some heat to rise in his body, but he truly was open to anything that he might be able to provide her that would in turn make her feel better. Strangely enough, she seemed to grow somewhat nervous, and he had to wait a few moments before she seemed willing to speak, which she prefaced with a sigh.

"Sasuke, you've no doubt been able to pick up on my many flaws as we've traveled together…" she started before he cut her off, his words coming in what almost felt like instinct.

"No idea what you're talking about."

She smiled again and kissed his cheek, and he could feel heat in his cheeks.

"You know, you can be very sweet sometimes."

Though her smile remained, her voice grew a touch more serious as she said what she had been waiting to.

"But one of my flaws, and I'm deeply aware of it for I fear I've passed it on to my daughter, is that I very much have a desire to have control over a situation. I hate feeling powerless to affect something; it's one of the many reasons why I could never love Ozai, it's why I fell into the role of captaining a ship so easily, and it's why I've tried to be at the behest of about every plan we've come up with and enacted since you met me."

She held his hand tighter.

"I know for a fact I've never been less in control of a situation. Yes, I might have come up with a plan that's being followed, but my gut is telling me that so much will transpire against my will. Especially right now with leaving the ship with Siado and Ario and the others. And… just for a moment, I want to feel like I have some semblance of power again."

Sasuke looked intently at her; he knew that she was sharing something with him that she likely wouldn't admit to just anyone, but he was still at a loss for how she might ask him to relieve this pain.

"What can I do to make that possible?" he asked and she said nothing, just smiled at him a moment longer before putting an arm around his shoulder and pulling him to her. His head came to rest against her chest, and he could hear her heartbeat faintly as she wrapped him in a soft embrace and he felt her kiss the top of his head. From there, she just held him and Sasuke started to understand.

She's a mother… some part of her will always remember doing this, and while we're not exactly of that same relationship… maybe this is something that instills nostalgia, or helps her feel that instinct of control… I don't know, I'm not going to try and figure that out right now, as long as it helps her, that's all that matters.

Resting his head against her chest, felt a lull come over him as well as he gently allowed himself to rise and fall with her breathing. She held him firmly, but not overly tightly, and he couldn't help but feel a shiver roll up his spine as the fingers on her right hand softly traced lazy patterns through his hair and up his scalp. Even despite the wild intensity of everything that was coming to a head around them, despite everything they knew, Sasuke allowed his eyelids to slowly fall, the comfort he felt being in Ursa's arms enough to put all that aside.

When she started to sing, he closed his eyes fully and gave in to the draw that her presence offered him. There weren't words within the tune, or at least not how she sang it, but he could hear the melody, not uplifting nor necessarily sad, but haunting and mysterious almost. Her voice was that of an angel against his ears and fully relaxed his body, something he realized that he hadn't done to that point. There was no doubt in his mind he could have drifted off to sleep then and there, but he knew that it wouldn't be long before reality would return and he would have no choice but to leave this respite. But not just yet, he could stand for a few minutes more of this.

What did I do to deserve something this perfect?

He knew this would have to end, but for the time being, he remained in Ursa's arms, listening to her sing and wonder just how it was that she was able to make him feel this way.

---

Aang walked around the shell for the umpteenth time before Zuko caught him by the shoulder, giving him a tired smile.

"Has it not passed your inspection yet?" he asked and Aang had to smile at the sound of the Fire Lord making something of a joke. He had been silently keeping an eye on Zuko ever since they had left the bridge, fearing that the one-two strike of finding about Sasuke and Azula, and Sasuke and Ursa might be something he was going to have trouble keeping from affecting even just his basic motor skills, but he had just wound up looking exhausted and melancholy. That was to be expected, and Aang wished he had the time to take a walk with Zuko and gently ask him if he was going to be alright. As it was, however, this would have to do.

"Sorry," Aang said sheepishly. "Lot on my mind and I guess I'm taking it out by looking at this thing over and over."

Zuko nodded and walked to the back of the small vessel, where Azula and Ty Lee were checking over the thrusters. Aang couldn't help but feel a chill run up his spine looking at Azula; the willingness with which everyone had just silently put aside what she had done in order to make sure they were on their way as quickly and as efficiently as possible. Still, he knew that he wasn't the only one keeping a careful look on her.

Not a couple minutes prior, he had run into Mai as she was walking into the vehicle bay with her arms laden with a pair of food-filled rucksacks. He had been surprised to see her participating after how sickly she had looked since they boarded the airship and as she had dumped her baggage, there had even seemed to be something of a spring in her step, enough so that Aang had felt comfortable approaching her.

"Hey, Mai?" he had asked her and she had turned with that same enthusiasm, not at all matching her earlier demeanor.

"What's up?" she had replied and Aang had held for a moment, careful with his words. Despite the good relationship they had shared over the years, he remembered the painful and awkward encounter they had last shared outside the palace. In his stress and pain, he had asked her some very personal things, and he still hadn't been able to properly apologize. Still, seeing this change in her that seemed to have transpired in a matter of a fifteen minute or so timespan was enough that he wanted to check in, regardless of how she might have felt towards him.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," he finally had decided on. "You looked in bad shape earlier and you seem better now."

She nodded understandingly, and looked back down the hallway where she had walked from, a distant smile on her face. Aang looked past her and saw nobody there.

"Yeah, sorry if I worried you… just some weight I was feeling that I was able to deal with, sort of."

He nodded and she noted the concern still on his face.

"It's okay, Aang, I'm alright."

She put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

"We'll talk about it next time we get a chance, I promise."

Her openness surprised him, but he returned the smile she was giving him and as she made to move away, he got close enough so that he could speak to her quietly.

"Can you do me a favor and keep an eye on Azula? I know everyone else is probably doing the same, but—"

Mai's face had darkened considerably then as she cast a look over towards the princess.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not letting that monster out of my sights."

The edge of her tone had caused bumps to rise on Aang's arm, but he let Mai move away without another word, happy to let that be the end of it for the time being. He had shaken his head, trying to just be happy that Mai was not looking as dead to the world as she had been previously.

Still, he was right about the rest of his friends. Ty Lee had seemed to have gone and stuck to Azula's side like a clingy lover and Katara had shot more glares Azula's way than Aang had been able to count. Everyone seemed well interested to keep their eyes on her from a distance, but Aang had been more worried about Soza than anything, and had kept flicking looks her way. Somehow, she seemed to be rather apathetic towards everything that was happening, though Aang thought that might have been more worrying. Soza was with Suki who was explaining the details of the shell's controls as had been explained to her by Azula; Aang had noticed just how when Azula had been explaining, Suki had been looking at her just as intensely as she had at the controls.

Aang couldn't imagine what was going through Soza's had just then. She had just learned that not only did she had a father who was alive, she had met him and learned perhaps more about who he was than she might ever have guessed. Then, she had found out that he hadn't even known of her existence and that Azula had…

I can't believe her. She really did it.

Shaking his head, Aang forced himself to focus; everyone else had lasered in on what needed to be done and he needed to maintain that as well, their safety depended on it.

He looked back to the shell, finding himself once again impressed by the design. It was only slightly larger than Appa as far as dimensions went, looking like a massive hollow, metal fish. The side of it opened up, the metal curve pulling up to allow easy admittance to its innards where several short rows of seats lined its interior, along with a small module for its controls in the front. Aang had already announced his intention to airbend around the vessel once they initially left the airship in order to keep an even lower profile, and he imagined the dark grey would blend as perfectly as anything could with the clouds in the night.

"Aang?"

He turned at Yue's voice and found him stunned, not for the first time, that he was again talking to a young woman he had known to be dead for many years. She gave a small smile at his reaction before addressing him again.

"Could you run back to the hold outside the bridge? Sokka and I left our swords there."

From where she was rapidly organizing and sorting consumables, Katara looked up sharply, her expression indignant.

"Aang shouldn't be the one to—"

Practically having expected this sort of response from Katara at this point after years of being with her, Aang raised his hand.

"It's fine, I'll go."

Knowing time was very much of the essence, he walked briskly from the shell's bay, and into the hallway.

In his head, he was already trying to formulate how this was all going to play out. The most dangerous factor at that moment was not knowing if the spirit invasion was launching primarily from Ba Sing Se, or if they were now entering from other locations. For all they knew, they could be running smack dab into a fresh army of spirits, ones they didn't know were amassing either west in the Fire Nation or north in the Northern Water Tribe lands.

Don't worry about that now… we get back on the ground, and we go from there. There's no need to be thinking about that, not when we don't even know if we're yet out of—

Walking as briskly as he was, and so lost in his own thoughts, Aang nearly knocked Toph clean off her feet as she entered the same junction in the hallway coming from his right. He jumped and shouted in surprise, and Toph put her hands over her ears, grimacing slightly.

"Pipe down, Twinkletoes, I'm not that awake just yet."

"I can't believe you're awake at all!" Aang exclaimed. "We were going to come and carry you down once we had everything situated and ready to go, Katara didn't seem to think that you would be waking up any time soon, that scar on your chest, we weren't sure, but it's great to see you awake, are you sure you're-?

Toph raised a hand, a tired smile crossing her face, even as her face scrunched while she continued trying to push off the throes of sleep. She had pulled on a modest sleeping gown that she must have found in the cabin she was staying, and Aang started to place bets with himself in his head if Sokka was going to make a joke about it, the way she looked like a ghost almost wandering the halls.

"You're going a mile a minute here with me, slow down."

Aang stopped talking and took in a deep breath, and as she wobbled briefly on her feet, he couldn't help but rush forward and wrap her in a tight hug. Tears flooded his eyes as he realized just how frightened for her he had been.

"I'm so happy you're awake."

The relief truly was an incredible feeling as he asked the most pertinent question just then.

"How are you feeling?"

Wincing as she touched a hand to her chest, Toph tilted her head slightly left and right before stumbling where she stood, causing Aang to tighten his hold to catch her. Grumbling, she tried to push him away sluggishly and he reluctantly stepped away.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, still just waking up is all."

She continued to rub her hand against the spot where Aang knew that she had been struck by Kyoshi.

"I feel alright. Chest is tingly where I must have got hit, but I feel fine, I really do."

Turning her head somewhat wearily up at him, she inquired, "Did I miss much?"

Aang stared down at her blankly before nearly let out a rush of nervous laughter at that question but held his tongue. This was not the time to be bringing up any of what had been brought to light while Toph was resting.

"A bit," he decided to say and Toph furrowed her brow at him.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

Eager to move the conversation forward, Aang hurriedly continued with his noncommittal answer.

"Never mind, nothing we can't tell you later."

Toph continued to frown up at him but fortunately, she let him change the subject.

"What's going on?"

"We're leaving," Aang said. "Long story, but we've learned that the airship we're on might be being followed and we're bailing while we can."

Toph squared her shoulders and Aang felt her tense.

"Airship… I knew something felt wrong about this place."

Remembering how much Toph hated being on anything that was airborne, Aang pulled her into a brief one-armed hug.

"Don't worry, we'll be down soon. But we're planning on leaving in about fifteen minutes, so if you want to just head down to the bay with everyone and wait—"

"I feel everyone, I think," Toph said and cocked her head. "Down the hall, left, down the stairs and first door on the right?"

Always amazed by her skills of perception, Aang nodded, a gesture he knew she couldn't see; they were relatively near the bay, but even still, her skills were always something for him to shake his head at. Toph concentrated a moment longer before muttering seemingly to herself.

"But I don't sense him there…"

She started to walk that way before turning back to Aang as if having forgotten he was there.

"I'll head down, but I'd like to see him first."

Knowing what she meant and fighting down a chill, Aang tried to play it off with a joke, hoping desperately to distract her away, in a trick he knew wouldn't work.

"See?"

She rolled her blind eyes in annoyance.

"Never heard that one before; you know what I mean."

For whatever reason, her question gave him a deep sense of foreboding that was almost enough to drop his stomach to his feet.

"Do you know where Sasuke is?"