A/N: Hello my loves! This story was written from a five sentence prompt from SquarePeg72 a while back and I just got around to expanding on it during NaNo 2019. Hopefully she enjoys what I was able to do with the small beginning that I had created.

Thanks to Grammarly for making sure I don't have any glaring grammatical errors. Anything else you find is all my own fault.

Title: Daddy Help Hotline
Rating: K
Pairing: Harmony
Summary: She left him alone for a few hours to have a night out with the girls. What she found when she got home was not what she was expecting to find. COMPLETE

Be sure to let me know what you think and follow along with my writing journey by finding me on social media! My penname will lead the way!

Love always,
~starr

Hermione looked around her living room, eyes wide with panic at the disaster that had been left by her loving husband. She knew he meant well, but now she was starting to realize that Harry had no idea what he was supposed to be doing to take care of their daughter.

She had left him alone for an hour, only an hour. That meant that he'd probably have to change a diaper and put her to sleep. Hermione had made sure that the baby was fed before she went out and that there was a bottle in the fridge, just in case. Apparently, in the hour that she was gone, every possible thing that could have gone wrong did, and now Hermione had to clean up the mess.

Bending over, she started to pick up the toys that were scattered all over the floor. When she walked through the front door, she had noticed Harry heading back to their bedroom to put the baby down for the night. So, she knew she'd have a few moments of peace before the two of them discussed this situation.

"Hey, Hermione," Harry said, walking into the living room. "How was girls' night?"

Hermione glanced up at him and shook her head. Now was not the time for him to be asking about her night.

Harry sighed and hung his head. Taking a step forward, he leaned down to start gathering the small pile of clothes that had accumulated on the couch in the hour that he was left alone. "Sorry about the mess. Don't worry about getting this cleaned up. I'll take care of it. Just have a seat and relax."

"Where would you like me to sit down?" she grumbled. "There are toys and clothes all over the couch that wasn't there when I left an hour ago. What made you think any of this was acceptable?" Hermione motioned to the disaster zone that surrounded her feet as she spoke, except deep down inside; she had already known to expect to come home to a similar situation.

She knew that her decision not to help him locate the bottles when he had called her earlier had help lend a hand to this disaster, but that should have only been a mess in the kitchen, not the living room. She groaned when she realized that she hadn't seen the kitchen yet, and if the living room was any indication as to what was awaiting her in the kitchen, it was going to be a long night of cleaning ahead of her.

"Because it was the best advice I got from our Daddy Help Hotline group chat," Harry replied with a nervous smile tugging at his lips as he carded a hand through his hair. He placed the pile of clothes he had picked up on the arm of the couch and started to fold each little outfit neatly before creating a new stack on the end table. He refused to look up at her after he admitted to the hotline. He wasn't sure what kind of reaction to expect from her, but he knew that it wasn't going to be the most positive thing in the world.

"Daddy. Help. Hotline," Hermione repeated, pausing after each word to take a few moments to contemplate what exactly he had just told her. How was this the first time she even heard about this? Who was all involved in the Daddy Help Hotline? The more thought she gave to it, the more questions she had. Honestly, she wasn't even sure what to ask first.

"Yeah, we use it to help a brother out when we run into problems," Harry said with a shrug. He glanced up and saw her staring at him. He bit back a laugh when he noticed the perplexed look on her face. He was sure that she had questions, and all he could hope was that he could answer her questions.

Hermione just stared at him for a few minutes as her brain processed the idea of a daddy help hotline. Part of her was very concerned for the sanity of her husband and his friends, and the other part of her was ready to burst out laughing at any moment at the ridiculousness of this idea. Shaking her head, she took the small pile of toys she had collected from the floor and placed them in the little basket beside the TV stand.

Turning her focus back to her husband, she walked over to the couch and picked up the throw pillow from the corner of the sofa and took a seat. She curled her legs up beneath her and placed the pillow in her lap.

"So," Hermione said. "First question. Who are the members of Daddy Help Hotline?"

With a heavy sigh, Harry collapsed into the couch and pulled his mobile out of his pocket. He opened the group chat and looked up the member information. He took a moment to glance over the names, just to make sure that he didn't leave anyone out. "Ron, Draco, Fred, George, Bill, and Theo."

"Fred and George aren't daddies yet," Hermoine replied, furrowing her brow. "Unless you know something I don't know."

"They felt left out," Harry admitted, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "They kept pestering Ron until they got added to the chat. They aren't accommodating in the chat."

"I could imagine," Hermione replied, nodding her head slightly. She was starting to wonder if any of the girls knew about this group chat. She reached down and slipped her mobile out of pocket. None of them could possibly know about it and not tell the rest. Typing off a quick message to their group chat, Hermione waited for the responses to start pouring in. "What started the daddy help hotline?"

"It became a subdivision of our Quidditch chat," Harry replied. "Basically, after me, Draco, Ron, and Theo found out we were becoming dads, we thought it might be best to have a chat that we can talk about things related to the babies. I think Draco was the first one to ask for advice, and that's when we pulled Bill in. The rest of us were newbies with this and couldn't help him. At least Bill could share his experiences."

"What kind of stuff do you talk about in this little group chat?" Hermione asked, curiously. She smiled coyly when she glanced down at her mobile and saw a response from Ginny. Draco was about to get an earful about this little chat.

"Theo has asked a couple of questions about pregnancy and the birthing process from our point of view since all the books that Daphne had at their flat were from the woman's point of view. He wanted to know what he could do to help when she had crazy cravings or how he could tell she was going into labor," Harry replied, aimlessly folding the baby's clothing as he talked. "There were a few videos exchanged about how to change diapers and burping babies, most of them were informational, but there are a few funny ones that we've shared amongst ourselves."

"I see," Hermione mused. She was doing her best not to start laughing at the reality of the situation at hand. There was a more pressing matter at hand, however. She needed to get to the bottom of what advice was given that resulted in the disaster that was now her living. "Next question. What were you seeking advice for that resulted in a tornado flying through the living room?"

Harry stopped folding the laundry and looked over at her. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he spoke. "Well, when you wouldn't answer my question about the bottles and the formula, I asked the guys where such things were kept at their houses."

"Did you think to look in the fridge?" Hermione asked, raising a brow.

Harry shook his head. "No, why would we have looked in the fridge for a bottle and formula?"

"Because our daughter is currently breastfed not formula-fed, so all of the bottles containing the milk that I've pumped are sitting in our refrigerator waiting to be used on nights that I'm not home," Hermione replied, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

Opening his mouth, Harry snapped it shut almost immediately when he realized his mistake. None of the daddies in the daddy help hotline had even thought about that possibility.

Hermione chuckled softly to herself as she waited for him to reply. She knew that Draco should have been one of the first to suggest checking the fridge for bottles because Ginny had been breastfeeding their baby for the last three months, so he should be used to finding bottles in the refrigerator to feed when Ginny's not there. The puzzled look on his face brought a smile to her face. He really was trying hard, but he wasn't succeeding very well.

"Well, if I were you," Harry began, scratching his head with a with his hand. "I would stay out of the kitchen until I get a chance to get in there and clean up a little bit of my mess that I left behind in my search for something I now realize does not exist."

Hermione thought about it for a minute, and then another question popped into her head. "When you couldn't find the bottles and the formula, what did you give our daughter to drink before putting her to bed?"

"I saw a bottle in the drying rack and filled it with milk from the fridge," he replied.

"So you were in the fridge to get the milk, and you didn't see the three or four bottles that were on the same shelf?" she asked, shaking her head as she pushed herself up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks just inside the doorway. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I told you not to go in there," Harry said, walking up beside her and placing a gentle hand on her back.

Hermione glanced back at him over her shoulder and shook her head, taking a step away from his hand. "I'm going to go check on our daughter and take a shower. When I come back down, I expect this living room and kitchen to be as spotless as they were when I left earlier this evening."

"Of course," Harry replied, leaning over to kiss her cheek softly. "I love you."

"I'll love you again when this house is clean," she responded, kissing his cheek before walking past him. She shook her head in frustration as she made her way down the hall. She felt her mobile vibrating in her pocket. Smiling proudly to herself, she pulled the device out of her pocket and sent one last message off to the girls.

Mommy and baby coffee date tomorrow, nine o'clock sharp. I've got a story to tell you all.