Act 72 – Desperate Voicemail Messages

Kyoko sobbed in despair as she sat in the middle of her dressing room. She felt as if she were a child again, scolded by her own mother who people said she must love her but she really didn't. Kyoko wasn't even sure she deserved any love at that age. She felt the pain in her chest as she cried out to the world. Her plan was failing and that might mean she had revealed herself for nothing. How could her plan be failing now?

"So unfair!" Kyoko said as she started to bang on the counter in front of the mirror. "I'm so angry! So Angry! So Angry!" she yelled before crying some more. She flinched as she remembered the look of superiority that Sho had given to her. "Who do you think was the reason for my bad acting?" she asked as she looked at the reflection in her mirror. "That bastard!"

Kyoko screamed as she ran from the mirror and started screaming whilst pounding her fists at the wall, "I usually work very hard!" she declared before falling to the floor in complete exhaustion. "If it can be as smooth as the scenes I did with Mimori, then that would be unbelievable," she sad as the tears made their way from her eyes and down her cheeks. "You are so low! You are so low!" she repeated before her screams turned muffled and she took slow breaths to catch her breath. "You are…so low" she repeated before her head touched the floor and she sighed.

She lifted her head feeling the complete agony which came with this defeat. She stared ahead of her, aware of the gloom that was surrounding her. There didn't seem to be a way of successfully acting out her role as she had done with Mimori because in her mind she wasn't with Mimori, she was with Kanae. She could act that way with Kanae. Still face-to-face with Shotaro, she could only see him and couldn't fool herself.

There was nobody as disgusting as Sho who she could imagine in that place, nobody who hurt her heart as much. She couldn't control her killing aura because she wasn't able to imagine herself in any other situation. She felt that she couldn't do it and that meant disqualification, failure, and all of her work would have been for nothing.

I want an angel that hasn't committed sin yet, trying to protect the pure angel's heart.

Kyoko froze as she remembered Haruki's advice. Kyoko paused, she was finally finding her true self through acting and though she couldn't tell Ren about this job assignment, he had been so proud of her for believing in herself. She was trying to use acting to get revenge and this was only karmic retribution. Kyoko put her hands over her eyes to catch her tears. "What am I doing?" she asked aloud, "I…If I get turned down by these things too…" she shook her head. She couldn't afford to break because to break would be to lose and she definitely couldn't afford to lose.

Before Kyoko realized it, she had pulled out a doll of Ren that she had made to keep her company. Right now he had his lecture face on because she needed for him to give her some tough love. That was what he did, right? He gave her tough love. He and Kanae seemed to be the only ones who could help her that way.

She made the little Ren point at her before folding his arms, "I told you a long time ago!" she imitated his voice, "If you use this sort of attitude to act, even if you are an artist, you still won't make me happy. Truth be told," she said as she made him point at her again. "I don't like this you at all."

Kyoko sobbed as she held the doll. She needed someone to help her, to talk to her but dolls weren't going to do it. As much as imitating his voice usually helped her, she needed some proper help and advice but she didn't want to be a burden on anyone. She needed to think of who she could be as an angel but she didn't have to show that anger. The angel definitely was angry but she held it back, only becoming a devil with the act of murder. How could she portray those things?

Kyoko stared at the doll in her hands, she didn't know how to act out the feelings of the angel and she looked at the face of the doll. "I don't know how to act it out," she admitted. She stared into his eyes. What could she do? "Tell me what should I do, Ren?"

As she breathed his name, her heart felt a lot lighter. She knew how much she wanted him here but that was selfish, he had sacrificed so much for his acting. She couldn't burden him with this, right? She sighed. If only she hadn't lost Corn in anger then maybe she could rely on the stone for help.

Kyoko took out her phone and called Kanae, she knew that she couldn't bother Ren when he was so busy but maybe Kanae would have some more free time in which they could talk and even discuss this problem that Kyoko was having. It was definitely not Kanae's problem though. Kyoko waited for the phone to be picked up but only got voicemail. She was being a little too hopeful, wasn't she?

"It's a sea of darkness before my eyes," Kyoko wailed as she tried to get Kanae's help despite not hearing her voice, "I totally don't know what to do. Please save me Kanae!" she yelled and then heard the beep that her message was recorded. Kyoko sighed and stared at the phone feeling defeated once again. She had wanted to talk to her about the current problem which she was facing and only managed to get voicemail.

Kyoko looked down sadly. She felt that she was getting a headache and she turned to the doll again. Kanae might be the best person to talk to about acting techniques but there was Ren. He would know what to do. Still, his schedule was so busy that he was unlikely to pick up for her even though they were friends. Work came first for him at all times because he had made sacrifices for it. It seemed only fair for him to consider work more important than her.

She looked at his number as she tapped her finger on the phone and shook her head. There was no doubt that he was working. She sighed before remembering all the times in which he had smiled to her and her finger went onto the button to call him. He wouldn't get angry at her for doing this, would he?

She waited for the phone to ring before stopping.

"The number you are calling is unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message after the 'beep'."

Kyoko sighed. Of course he wouldn't pick up for her. He probably wasn't even near his phone. Kyoko sighed before her back straightened as soon as she heard the beep. "It's Kyoko," she said automatically, "You must be working hard now so I'm sorry to disturb you in the midst of your work," she struggled to say before closing her eyes and trying to relax, "I suddenly called you because I need your help with something…" Kyoko opened her eyes, still attempting to relax when calling him. "Actually…" she slowed down before realizing that she might have to tell him about Shotaro if she asked for his help. She couldn't afford to do that. She didn't want to act as if he were her boyfriend and she was calling because of another guy. No. Ren had made it clear that they wouldn't be boyfriend-girlfriend and this was exactly the way that a girlfriend acted.

No. She couldn't afford to act this way and tell him that it was all because of Shotaro. She didn't want to see him looking disappointed or angry when she turned to him. She wanted only positive memories with him like the ones they had shared as children. This was a bad idea. If he knew about this, he'd know her reason for accepting the job. He'd get upset again because of her reasons. She didn't want for him to be upset with her. Only good memories.

No. She couldn't let him find out about this. Calling him had been a mistake. She had to hide this from him. She paused before hearing the sound telling her that the recording time had ended and she felt a dark cloud around her. She hadn't finished her message. It didn't make sense without an ending and he would be suspicious about that.

She was about to dial to leave a message of apology before the phone started ringing in her hands and she saw that it was Kanae calling her back. She had never had a friend return her call before. This was exciting and she definitely felt loved.

"Hello? Hello? Moko-chan?" Kyoko asked with a grin on her face.

There was silence on the phone and Kyoko blinked, paling a little, "Moko-chan?" she asked slowly before hearing a heavy sigh.

"Mo," Kanae replied, "This stupid voice," she said as Kyoko blinked in surprise. Kanae repeated the words from the message and Kyoko felt a weakness in her. "Just because of this stupid lifeless voice message, I thought you were facing some life endangering situations!" Kanae yelled so loudly that Kyoko had to hold the phone away from her not to get deafened by her loud voice. "You case people to misunderstand way too easily, mo" she continued to scold. Kyoko froze, "If it's just some problems at work, make it clear!"

Kyoko hesitantly pulled the phone close to her ear, "but, you already knew about me filming in Sho's video, so there's no need for me to stay and you'll still understand," Kyoko replied. She didn't understand the yelling but she was thrilled that Kanae had called her back in response.

"Who the hell would understand!?" Kanae yelled back in response. "Really, you sure do know how to stir things up. Listen, from today onwards, don't be so stingy with your words. You have to say everything clearly from the start, mo!"

Kyoko smiled happily, even though she was being scolded, she was being scolded because someone was taking the time to care about her. This feeling was one of being accepted and having a friendship which she had always dreamed about.

"Hey!" Kanae shouted again, "Are you there? If you are, give me some reaction!"

Kyoko closed her eyes as she finally felt something akin to a wash of peace float through her. She felt precious, loved, treasured. "Yes, I am," Kyoko said softly, "I am listening to you."

The fact that Kanae worried about her made her feel that finally someone cared about her. She knew that Kuon cared but the relationship between the two of them was complicated. This friendship with Kanae was starting to feel a lot more comfortable and a lot easier to navigate. It was as if after Kanae had heard her voicemail, she had abandoned everything else she was doing and phoned her back. This kind of happiness was rare with Kyoko but it made her blush. She hadn't been cared about this way as a child, this was something new and something she could only experience here because of acting.

She could imagine herself and Kanae doing things that friends do, things that she always wanted to do. She could think about them sharing treats, going shopping together, interacting like sisters even. This was the way that Kyoko had imagined Mimori, that type of friendship which she had always desired. She could definitely imagine Kanae as the beautiful angel but…maybe this meant that she could use Kanae for the rest of the shoot as well.

End of Act 72

Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated

Thank you to the reviewers of Act 71

Erza