I woke up, dark and cold. Where am I? Why am I here? What's happened? What's that beeping in the distance? I feel so tired. Why is that? I can feel my eyes slipping shut and then there all I can see is black.
I woke up again, the room is brighter now. The beeping was more clear and less far away. I was in hospital, oh god, but what happened? How did I end up here? Wait, what was that underneath my skin? I placed my hand there but my hand cannot detect what it is. I can feel it bubbling and popping, then I remembered there were two lives growing inside of me, was it a kick or a punch? It felt weird and wonderful. Was it the little girl, or was it the little boy. I started imagining what they would look like. Would they have red hair like me or brown hair like Mulder? What color eyes would they have, blue or hazel or even brown. What would they look like? Would they look like me? Or more like Mulder? Or a bit of both of us... I can feel the corners of my mouth starting to peek as the images flood my senses. But I was starting to feel tired again. I tried to fight my eyelids closing but couldn't. Why am I so worn out and tired? I don't want to go to sleep, not yet but my body was starting to give. So this time I'm going to give in and fall into the darkness.
Here I am again, alone in the hospital room. It appears to be night time. I'm more alert now, the bleeping monitors seem to be gone, the room was silent all you can hear was my shallow breaths. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the overhead fluorescent hospital lights. I tried to move my arm but I soon realised there was an IV line attached to me. I couldn't read what the labels said but I did try. I slowed down my breathing and lent my head against the pillow and I felt it again; a small flutter inside of me. The movement still light from within me. Not detectable to outside forces. I have been looking out for the feelings since Rachel told me what to look out for. The feeling of bubbles, butterflies and soft pops, like popcorn popping when heated. They were playing a game of tag inside my womb, I wonder which one of them is winning. The feeling was fleeting and gentle, but feeling this for the second time or even the first time, it was surreal. I knew through the ultrasound that there was life inside of me but feeling them move made it more real, I marveled at the two lives inside of me. The lives, that me and Mulder had created together. I immediately touch my stomach, more protective now than I have ever been and I'm going to need help to achieve this.
Scully woke up, confused and uncomfortable and sore. The light from the morning sun streaming through the open window, bleeding and seeping through her closed eyelids, her hand still resting over her stomach protecting her babies from the outside world. She slowly started to open her eyes, feeling unbelievably groggy. She could feel the warmth of someone holding her hand in their own.
"Mulder" Scully quietly rasped out
"No, Dana. It's Melissa"
"Where is he? Where is Mulder?"
"Does he know?" Scully started to feel worried and afraid that her little secret was a secret no more.
"No, don't worry. Only immediate family know, which is basically just me at the moment" Melissa comforted her, the statement sounded a bit harsh but she meant every word. She still wanted Dana to tell Mulder or at the very least, their parents.
"Are they OK?"
Worry lines were appearing on Scully's face and her heart was starting to beat a little bit faster in her chest, breath becoming uneven and ragged as she worried for the safety of her children.
"Yes, they're both fine. Don't worry, Dana"
"I felt them. I think I felt them for the very first time" Scully said, her heart starting to slow down and her breathing returning to normal or as normal as it could given everything she was currently going through. She smiled, marvelling at the feeling she had felt previously.
"What did it feel like?"
"Amazing, beautiful, surreal and weird, so many different things. I don't think I can put into words." Scully tried to explain to her older sister, still beaming.
"Could I feel them? Would that be OK?"
"It would be but I still think it's too early for anyone else to feel it," Scully took a pause, still curious about how she ended up in such a state "What happened to me? How did I end up with an IV drip? Everything was fine" she looked over at Missy fully taking in her appearance, her dark denim jeans, light blue tank top and knit cardigan, her pale complexion and red baggy eyes, like she hadn't slept in days.
"You had a small bleed, it happens... pretty common. Apparently, it's due to a small abruption- which is when a small part of the placenta comes away from the wall of the uterus. It's no big deal according to your Doctor, who apparently you went to med school with. She said most people are fine but sometimes it's a warning sign that a large abruption might happen. For this reason, she has advised that you not go back to work for a few days and certainly not be in the field, for at least a week."
"I am so sorry" whispered Scully, not knowing whether she was apologizing to herself, Melissa or her twins.
"The doctor said you need to keep an eye on it and stay off of your feet and not to over exert yourself, which might mean less or no field work after the week off"
"Missy, I need to work. I need something to keep me going"
"You can, it just needs to be limited field work or stay at the desk"
"How do I explain that to him? What do I say? Mulder will want to know why I can't be out in the field with him"
"Well, how about you tell him the truth!" Melissa snapped
"No! Missy, I can't tell him the truth... it will ruin his life's work"
"Sure, fine, I get it. You don't want the guy that loves you and is the father of your children to know about your secret" Melissa took a deep breath trying not to get angry at her younger sister or letting her temper fly off the handle. She managed to calm herself down and spoke again, more carefully this time. "What are you going to do now?"
"I don't know... I just don't know. This whole situation is ridiculous"
"I know you don't. Do you want me to send him in?"
"Yes please"
"Can I ask you a question before I go get him?"
"Yes"
"What's his first name?"
"Fox, but he hates it... so just call him Mulder"
Melissa smiled and Scully mouthed "thank you" before she watched her walk out of the room to go find Mulder.
5 minutes later
"Hey Sunshine," Mulder said, as he entered Scully's hospital room with a smile on his face.
"Hey Mulder," she said, with a smile and her face instantly lit up just seeing him. She hadn't realized how much she missed him the last couple of days "How are you feeling?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"Oh, I'm fine... nothing to worry about"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure, Mulder. I just need to stay out of the field for a little while once they let me go home"
Mulder was being flirty and they both knew it. "I'm sure that can be arranged" he sat down placing his hand over hers as they stared at each other, not knowing what to say next.
Melissa coughed and cleared her throat, "This would be the time for me to leave" Scully broke eye contact with Mulder to look at her sister and smiled before speaking her next words
"Don't go far... I still need to talk to you about something"
"I won't. I'll just be down the hall, when you need me"
"Bye Melissa"
"Bye, Fox... and Dana"
Scully smiled at her sister knowing that Melissa was teasing them both before she left the room, silently shutting the door behind her.
Melissa watched the two of them interact through the small window, watching as they talked and shared looks with each other oblivious to the outside world. She watched the way Dana's eyes would light up and smile whenever Mulder would say something. They were clearly flirting and teasing each other... then there were the subtle little touches between them both; Mulder would place his hand on Dana's arm or hand and instead of flinching or pulling away from it she would simply encourage it and thrive in it. It appeared to make her come alive. She could tell that Dana was herself around this man. Melissa had seen her with other boyfriends and long term partners, catering to their whims and needs but not with him. Not with Fox Mulder. It was different with him. Looking upon her now, she realized that her baby sister, Dana, loved this man sitting in front of her. So why could she not tell this man the truth? What was stopping her from being happy?
Several hours later
Scully and Melissa were sitting, together in her hospital room. Mulder had just left for the day to go back home, he had desperately wanted to stay but scully insisted that staying would do him no good, there was no point in staying because she knew he needed a shower, fresh clothes, something to eat and more then two hours sleep. She had reassured him that she was going to be fine and nothing bad was going to happen of he left for awhile, he made a quippy comment about how she was always looking after him even when she is in hospital.
They were deep in conversation, when suddenly Melissa spoke up after thinking about what they had just discussed more deeply and came out with the line, that startled her sister "So, Dana... when were you going to tell me?"
Scully sat up straighter and looked at her sister questionably, wondering what was going on and replied with "About what?"
"Hmm…. I wonder" Melissa looked over at her sister now, wondering if she had an idea of where she was going with this conversation but she suspected that she had no clue "About being in love with your platonic Mister Mulder?"
"What? I'm not in love with Mulder. We're friends, and co-workers" Scully shot back confused and defensive.
"Could of fooled me"
"Mi…"
Before Scully could reply Rachel walked in, wearing her ever-present white lab coat, blue scrubs and some small white trainers with a stethoscope hanging around her neck, she pressed the hand sanitiser before picking up Scully's chart.
"Hello, Dana. How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. I just need to know... are the twins OK?"
"They're fine. I don't know if Melissa told you what happened and why you'll be staying here an extra couple of days"
"Yes, she did thank you"
"As you are aware, you will need to stay off of your feet for the minimum of a week and no field work. Since everything is going well you will be discharged tomorrow. If nothing else goes wrong, of course. We'll be keeping a close eye on yours and the babies vitals overnight... just in case"
"Thank you, Rachel"
"It's my pleasure, Dana. I will come back in a few hours before I clock out, to see if everything still OK with all three of you"
"Bye Rachel"
"I'll see you later, Dana"
Dr. Richards gave a small smile before putting Scully's chart back at the end of the bed and walked to the door, closing it softly behind her.
Melissa turned to face her sister and asked "Dana, I know you know her from med school, but have I ever met her before? She seems so familiar to me"
Scully chuckled "Yes you have"
"Where?" Missy asked, confused.
"Do you remember that one summer when we were in California on a vacation, I had just finished my first year of Med School and we had been invited to a beach party? How the sun was a mix of yellows and oranges glistening on the sea, as it was setting over the horizon and we had to sneak out because Mom and Dad specifically told us not to go out because we had Mass early the next morning. We snuck out anyway, had to climb out of the window but anyway, we finally got to the beach and there was a massive bonfire going on and quite a lot of alcohol floating about" Scully looked at Missy and giggled, remembering that night so vividly. "We met Rachel at the beach as she lived close by, fast forward slightly and after smoking some weed and drinking quite a few litres of alcohol later. We watched Rachel end up walking along the beachfront with some tall, blonde and athletic 20 something and you paired up with some guy called Gary and ended up in his backseat"
"You can stop right there, Dana. I remember. That's the same Rachel, huh?" Missy said, going as red a tomato from all the blushing she was doing remembering that unforgettable night.
"Yes, it is," Scully said, laughing at her Melissa's crimson colored face.
"They were good times, carefree and fun"
"Yes, they were." Scully said, simply.
"Did you end up with anyone that night?"
"No, I didn't. And I really should of learnt my lesson, it should of stayed that way" Scully said, with a sound of deep regret.
"Do you regret what happened?" Melissa asked, glancing down at Scully who was running small circles with the palm of her hand on her soon to be growing in size belly.
"No, I don't... at first I did. I thought about how stupid I could a be, to sleep with my FBI partner and develop feelings for him. It was such a stupid and dangerous thing to do... but when I saw them on screen, Missy, I cried so hard. It was incredibly emotional, they were so beautiful... they took my breath away. It sunk it more when I felt them kick earlier, I can't really describe the feeling it wasn't a kick per say but more of a gas bubbles or a popping popcorn feeling. It was a big shock as you can imagine, some little part of me wished it had happened a bit later on in life, but to put a simple answer on your question... No, I will never regret having them" tears starting to fill the corners of Scully's sparkly blue eyes, as she thought about the lives growing inside her, her hand rubbing her stomach protecting them, loving them... and trying to give them more, for Mulder. They deserved to know him in some way too.
"Dana, why don't you tell him how you feel, he obviously means alot to you and the feeling is most definitely returned, even if you don't believe so. You also need to tell him about the pregnancy, it's not like you'll be abit to hide it forever"
"Missy, I asked and he said that the search for his sister was so important to him right now, he said in not so many words... that he didn't want me or a family. He's never going to give up looking for his sister and the truth about what happened to her, and if I was in his position I don't think I would ever stop looking for you. I can't take that away from him, what if he can find out the truth but me and the twins somehow stop him from getting all the answers he has ever wanted in life?" tears were now burning down Scully's pale freckled complexion, and she was starting to hyperventilate and hiccup.
"What happened?"
"It's not my story to tell, I'm sorry"
"I understand," Melissa didn't but she could tell talking about it was upsetting her sister so she knew to leave the subject alone. "What are going to do from this point on?"
"I'm going to need your help actually; yours and Rachel's but once I tell you, you can not under any circumstance tell anyone. That includes Mom, Ahab, and especially Mulder" Scully said so matter-of-factly it was starting to scare her sister.
"Dana, you're scaring me," Missy said, her voice wavering the anxiety creeping up on her, body stiff and concerned.
"I promise I'm not in danger, I just need your help. Promise me."
"I promise"
"Thank you, so I'm really going to need your help with…"
Scully and Melissa's trailed off, talking about the specifics of what she needed help with and how. When Rachel returned later that day, they filled her in on the plan they had come up with and yes Rachel agreed that Scully was going to need her help, sworn to secrecy as her friend and Doctor.
The Next Day
Scully was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed finally in some comfortable clothes ready to go home, after being stuck in hospital and wearing unflattering hospital gowns and not having her creature comforts, it was starting to drive her mad. Mulder was keeping her company for a few hours while Missy went home got some sleep and have a shower.
Mulder and Scully had talked about alot in a short few hours together and Skinner had approved her time off from the X Files. She had come up with a cock and bull story saying something along the lines of it was exhaustion and blood pressure from her adrenaline with the Willis case, as far as Skinner was aware he had no reason not to believe her, as she was a doctor herself but Mulder on the other hand, was less convinced by the story she had concocted, he knew she was keeping something from him. The harsh reality was she was going to have to start to distance herself from him and it was going to hurt... both of them, terribly but it had to be done. Yes, she may of only known him a short time but they had spent nearly every waking moment together, either in the field, in their basement office... or in her bed or on his sofa.
Rachel walked into the hospital room with Melissa close behind her. She looked over to her sister knowing she didnt go home and get some sleep but instead spent her time in the cafetera drinking coffee.
"You're all set to go, Dana. I just need you to sign the discharge papers and you can leave. Remember what we talked about... your going to need help that first week, as to not over exert yourself and end up back in here"
"I can help you Scully" Mulder piped in, hoping and praying that Scully would accept the offer. He wanted to help her, in any way that he could.
"I'm sorry, Mulder. Missy already volunteered to come home with me and make sure I settle back in, and said that she would help with anything I would need over the week" Scully thought it was a better time than any to start distancing herself from Mulder, but she accidently caught his eye, after what she said and he looked lost and defeated, maybe even sad... he certainly was not going to make this easy on her, not that it should be. This was going to hurt her too, and she knew it but was trying not to dwell on those feelings, for the health of their babies and herself.
"Oh ok, can I pop around in a few days and check on you?"
"Of course, Mulder"
"Thank you"
Mulder felt his heart breaking, the feelings he had for his partner so evidently making themselves known. Why was so distancing herself from him? Why was she being cold with him? Why was she being so professional all of a sudden, after everything they had been through together in the past couple of months. He thought they had moved past this, but he was so wrong... maybe she didn't feel the same way he felt? Maybe she only saw them as FBI partners who had sex occasionally. Not even friends with benefits because that would mean they actually had to be friends and with the vibe, she was giving off now... it was anything but friendly.
Scully sighed, as she grabbed the papers signing them before grabbing her bag and following Mulder, Missy, and Rachel out the door, looking one last time into the room she had stayed in for the past couple of days and hoping that she would not have to be back in here anytime soon. She didn't think she could handle that kind of worry on top of everything else.
Mulder placed his hand on the small of Scully's back and she felt a pang of guilt flood her system. She was going to miss this... the little touches, their closeness and their friendship but most of all their love for each other.
They parted ways... and Mulder slinked off wounded, to find his car and go home to his apartment alone. He was going to hate her for what she doing to him and he might never forgive her, but she didn't think she deserved his forgiveness anyway.
Scully felt the prick of her eyes starting to fill up with water, with uncontrollable tears "Damn hormones", she thought.
Melissa looked over at her sister and asked if she was OK, Scully simply nodded and carried on following her sister over to her car. When Mellissa looked over at Scully she could read her like an open book, here stood her sister full of regret and sorrow, damn this was going to hurt so much. Scully slid into the passenger side of the car and Missy slid into the drivers seat before looking her sister in the eye.
"You don't have to do this you know. You can always..."
"No, I'm sorry. This has to be done. He can't-" Scully trailed off, hot tears streaming down the naked skin, of her flushed cheeks.
Melissa leant over to give her a hug, understanding her reasoning but not accepting it.
At the end of the day, it was Dana's choice to make and she had chosen what she was going to do. And she had to be there for her, she had to step up and be her big sister standing by her no matter what... after all that is what sisters were for.
They drove back to Scully's apartment in silence.