Nick threw the black suit jacket and pants onto his bed, sighing at the idea of having to put them on. They had been previously borrowed for the annual town dance. Nick had done things differently and had asked Jo at the earliest mention of the event. The night had been perfect despite the constraints of a conventional suit. He hated the formality, but it was for Jo and he would gladly endure the torture again.
"Nice get-up," Ben said sarcastically as he walked through the barn room door, a toolbox in hand.
Nick looked at him and just shrugged. "It ain't so bad," he replied, trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
"Better you than me," Ben quipped, setting the box on a shelf, and wiping his hands on his pants. "Barn door is fixed but we're gonna need some new hinges for the front gate. Those kids sure are rough on things around here."
Nick smiled at his younger brother and the new conscientious attitude. It hadn't even been a year since the terrible trial, but Ben was showing a completely different side to himself. It seemed that he was finally becoming the responsible man Nick had always known was there.
"We can go into town tomorrow and see what Gerson's got," Nick said as he began digging through his clothes for a dress shirt.
"But you might be kinda tired tomorrow…" Ben smirked, leaning up against the wall. "Seein' it's your weddin' day and all." Nick just rolled his eyes, the search continuing. "And tonight's the weddin' night…" Ben trailed off, his eyes bright with suggestion.
Nick felt his face flush with heat and was just about to rebuke his brother when he heard Jo's voice from just outside the door. "Nick? Are you in there?" He shot Ben daggers as the barn door opened, revealing Jo, a thick notebook and floral wreath in her hands. She looked between the two brothers and seemed to take in their sheepish expressions. "Sorry for interrupting…"
"You ain't interruptin'..." Nick quickly replied. "Ben was just leavin'." The men exchanged a look and Nick nodded towards the door.
"Ah yeah… I gotta go… fix somethin'..." Ben stammered, heading for the nearest exit. "See you all later."
As his brother left, Nick turned to Jo, a tentative look on her face as she bit her bottom lip. "What's wrong?" he asked, suddenly growing concerned. Maybe things with her sisters hadn't gone as planned.
"Nothing," Jo stated, pausing for a moment. "Well, I - uh… umm… would you come to the cemetery with me?" she managed to get out, nervousness apparent.
Nick nodded slowly. "Of course I will," he replied gently, trying to gauge her apprehension as her fingers played with a corner of paper. He was surprised at the invitation – her typical graveside visits were done in private. But the day wasn't typical. "I'll just go get the wagon ready."
"It's already done - I had Dan get everything hitched," she said quickly, already heading outside.
Nick followed her to the awaiting buggy. As he helped her in, he could see the tremble in Jo's hands, her eyes were glassy with emotion. He climbed up next to her and flicked the reins, urging the animal to go.
As they left the gates, Nick looked over at Jo; she played with a few of the flowers on the wreath, unusually quiet. "You all right?"
"Of course," she nodded, gazing straight ahead. "There is just something I need to do…"
"Jo…" Unconvinced, Nick reached over and took her hand, fingers intertwining. He heard her sigh as her grasp tightened around his. Moments of silence covered them before she spoke again.
"I just wasn't prepared for how final this feels," she whispered, her stare still on the road.
"It ain't gotta be final," Nick stated, feeling badly over the rushed circumstances. It was entirely his idea, nights spent on the shores of a deserted island dreaming of the comforts marriage could bring, comforts Jo brought to him. He should have known the day would be more difficult for her, that she would need time to process. "We don't gotta get married today, Jo..."
"No!" she replied instantly, her head spinning towards him, regret in her eyes. "No – I want to marry you… and I want to marry you today." She took a deep breath and looked back at the upcoming cemetery gates. Clutching the notebook, she chuckled lightly. "I started this the day after Fritz passed… and since then, I've written to him almost every day. At first it was just about how I missed him. Then it was more about the school and how quickly Rob was growing. Lately it has been all about you and I've realized that I don't need to write these anymore. I am ready to say goodbye and… to move on."
Nick sighed, guilt continuing to weigh on him. He didn't want her to feel as though she had to give up her past just so they could have a future. If anything, he was grateful for the man that had held Jo's heart. Fritz was someone he could learn from – if Nick could be half the husband and father, he would consider himself blessed. As the buggy reached the rise above the cemetery, he stopped the horse and turned to Jo. "You don't gotta say goodbye. How could ya with a piece of him running 'round the house every day?" After passing a hand through his hair, he placed it atop the journal. "You ain't really movin' on, Jo. You're movin' forward. It's like one of your books – Fritz is a big part of your story. And just because those chapters are finished, don't mean they never happened. They will always be there and now your story is just turnin' the next page." He smiled, noticing the tears brimming in her eyes. "And I hope to write many more chapters wi' ya."
She breathed deeply, trying to control the emotions Nick could see surfacing. She leaned forward, kissing him gently on the lips, briefly pausing to rest her forehead against his. "Thank you," she whispered, before slowly climbing from the buggy. Nick watched as she made her way down the path, giving her some private moments before following. He couldn't imagine what was going through her mind - yes, he had lost people he had loved dearly but that type of love, the love between a man and wife, was so intense and even the thought of losing Jo sent shivers down him. So, he understood her hesitation, her concern about leaving Fritz behind and as she laid the wreath and the notebook down against the tombstone, he understood the sacrifice her heart was making.
After about 10 minutes, Nick jumped from the buggy, tethered the horse, and slowly made his way down to where Jo knelt, her head bent in deep contemplation. A few moments more and she stood, her fingers grazing the carved name before moving back towards Nick. It was difficult to read her expression, the tears still framing her eyes. Giving him a weak smile, Jo reached out and grabbed his arm. "Let's go home," she murmured.
XXXXX
Jo stood in front of the full-length mirror, Amy's ivory satin gown highlighting the bride-to-be's best features. She was trying to ignore the commotion behind her; Meg was fussing with her hair, attempting to curl it without much success while Amy pranced around the bedroom with flowers and complained about how hard they were to come by in late November. Instead Jo had simply set herself at the mirror, considering the reflection - the modest sweetheart neckline that was adorned with a simple gold embroidered pattern and finished with sensible short cap sleeves. The bodice and skirts were overlaid with a delicate gold lace that blended so well, the design complementing the details. The bottom of the top skirt was flourished with the same gold embroidery as the neckline but much more grand so it emerged beyond the lace.
As she stood there, Jo could feel her hands begin to slowly tremble, the busyness of the day subsiding allowing the excitement to catch up with her. It was hard to believe this was all happening - only 24 hours before, she was trying her best to keep herself from crumbling to the floor, trying to move on with whatever life she had left in her. Now she was about to marry the man who had appeared on her porch two years ago, the man who had seen her through illness and loss, ups and downs; she felt like the life that had been lost to her was suddenly renewed and it was overwhelming to think of the future ahead.
The trip to the cemetery had been more difficult than Jo had originally thought, so many feelings arising. Nick's tender words had resonated with her, their meaning affecting her in ways she couldn't express. She felt a bit like being that gull in the winds again, emotions threatening to surge. But this time, she didn't feel lost or conquered with grief. It was something different, something stronger.
She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves - it seemed silly to be nervous if that was how one would label the feeling. Maybe it was just the urgency that had so quickly brought her to this point but her quivering fingers were starting to betray the calm she was trying to show. She felt her older sister's hand give her shoulder a quick squeeze before attempting yet another curl. "It's normal to be nervous on your wedding day," Meg tried to soothe.
Jo nodded and clutched her hands together, trying to steady the shake. "I know."
"Maybe this is all just a bit too fast?" Amy suggested, moving towards the bed. Jo peered through the mirror to see Meg shoot their younger sister a stern look. "I mean," Amy stammered, trying to mend her words, "You just might have nerves because things have been so busy today."
Jo sighed thoughtfully. "It is quick," she agreed, playing with the lace that sat along her waist. "But I am ready to get married…" She looked through the mirror at Meg, doubt suddenly clouding her mind. "I think?" Maybe these were feelings of reservation – although Jo couldn't understand how. She loved Nick with all her heart - what else was there?
Meg gave her a gentle smile and began to pin up the light curls that had managed to remain. A short knock on the door broke the musings in the room. The knob turned, revealing Marmee, her gentle smile lighting up her eyes as she took in the sight before her. "Oh Jo," her mother gushed, entering the room, a slight grin breaking out on the bride's face. "You look beautiful."
A sigh of relief escaped Jo's lips. "Is it a bit much?"
Amy scoffed from her seat on the bed. "Of course it's not! That dress is all the way from France. It suits you perfectly, Jo."
Marmee shuffled over towards the mirror, her wrinkled hands embracing her daughter's face. "It's not the dress that makes you beautiful, my dear." She sighed and reached out to give Jo's hand a reassuring squeeze. "It's the joy in your eyes. You look truly happy, my love."
Jo released a quick shaky breath, tears starting to form in her eyes. "I am, Marmee," she replied, trying to sound convincing as Amy helped their mother to sit at the vanity chair. Jo looked back into the mirror. "And I am especially happy that you and Father are here. With everything being so last minute, I was afraid you wouldn't be able to make it."
"Nonsense," Marmee replied, playing with the petals of a white rose that lay on the table. "Your father and I have been expecting this for months. So, when Mr. Riley showed up at the door this morning, it was hardly a surprise."
Jo spun around, catching Meg off guard, almost burning herself with the iron. "Nick came to Orchard House this morning?"
"Well, yes," Marmee said, barely reacting to the incredulous looks. "He came by after speaking with Reverend Lewis, I believe. He wanted to make certain we still approved. After all, it has been months since he asked for your father's permission."
Jo stepped away from the mirror, a questioning look on her face as she approached her mother. "Permission?"
"Of course," Marmee simply gave her a smile. "Before he left, Mr. Riley appeared on our doorstep requesting your hand in marriage. Your father was quite charmed by the whole visit - poor Mr. Riley was very nervous. But in the end, the two of them spent a lovely afternoon talking about plans for the future. Father admires that man's devotion to you and his obligations. And we both can see how happy he makes you." Marmee took Jo's hand. "It's truly meant to be, don't you think?"
With the emotions suddenly understood, the tears that had threatened Jo all day, poured out onto her cheeks. Nick had gone to such great lengths to make this wedding happen; his plans had begun even before he proposed that night in the woods. The hardships on the ship, enduring and surviving the dreadful storm… everything that he had done that day, the trip out to the cemetery, his time spent with Rob - all of it he had done for her, for them. She always knew Nick loved her, but she finally realized the magnitude of it – he truly would move Heaven and Earth – and maybe he had. A warming sensation filled her, and the tears fell even harder.
"Oh, Jo!" Amy chastised, racing to her with a handkerchief. "Stop! You're going to ruin your makeup!"
Jo chuckled, taking the cloth and carefully wiping her eyes. "I don't think Nick will really mind much." She took a deep breath and smiled at her mother, her nerves soothed. "Well, now," she said, smoothing out the lace on her skirts. "It's almost 4 o'clock and I am about to be married… we need to hurry!"