"You know Shinji, it's Asuka's birthday in a few days, December 4th."
Shinji was only barely listening. Though his return from the core of Unit-01 was nearly two weeks ago now, he was still subjected to tests twice a week, leaving him too tired to engage in any sort of conversation.
Misato could easily see such a thing, but nonetheless she tried again.
"Maybe you could do something for her."
Had she not been paying attention she wouldn't have noticed his hand clench for a moment then relax. Knowing that got to him she doubled down.
"I know she'd appreciate it," That got his attention.
"I don't think she would," he mumbled under his breath, though Misato still heard.
As far as Shinji was concerned that was the end of the conversation. He didn't want to talk, much less talk about Asuka. Since his return she had been more harsh than usual, almost as if she was making up for the month he was gone. Misato sensed he didn't want to talk any longer and thus she obliged.
The rest of the ride back to their apartment was silent.
Once they arrived Misato stopped him for a moment, dreading what they both knew she'd say.
"I have to go back in for a while, I'll try and be back for dinner," she lied. Shinji could see right through her ,however he didn't care much.
A curt "Okay," was all he could muster.
As he went to open the car door Misato spoke.
"Shinji," her voice cracked, she paused for just a moment to gather herself.
"I'm really happy you're back," she put on the best smile she had, it was all she could do for him.
Shinji looked at her but averted his gaze a second later. To him it felt like she was trying to put a piece of broken glass back in its place knowing it wouldn't fit quite right.
"I'm sorry," was the first thing that he could think to say, and he did so. The atmosphere in the car was becoming suffocating, it was too much for him right now.
It pained her to see him so disconnected with everything, as if he weren't even there, but she knew pushing him would only hurt him more.
"Alright kiddo, I'll see you later," with that Shinji got out of the car. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and headed towards the elevator.
She hated that she had to do this, truly hated it, but right now there were bigger things at stake. Secrets were being kept from her and she needed to know why. She gave a final glance his way before she put the car in drive to delve back into the bowels of Nerv.
'I really do hope I can make it for dinner Shinji.'
The elevator chimed and Shinji stepped through it's doors. For some reason it reminded him of when he first moved here. He had viewed this is a new home, and a hopeful beginning to his life having some sort of worth. Though it was no longer a home, now just the place where he lived.
He swiped his card and the door opened with a hiss like it always did and always will. He noticed Asuka's shoes haphazardly taken off on the tiled landing.
'I guess she's back already.'
His stomach growled and reminded him that he hadn't eaten since this morning. Looking over at the clock it read 7:00 and he realized it was well over time for dinner, so he agreed with his stomach and went to prepare a meal.
It was almost mechanical, detached, like he wasn't consciously cooking. He hadn't even realized he'd made three servings, despite knowing his other two roommates wouldn't be joining him.
After he finished his dinner he packed up Misato's portion and placed it in the fridge.
'Hopefully she gets it,' He thought.
He looked at what would be Asuka's portion, then in the direction of her door. A short battle waged in his mind, knock and tell her he made dinner, or simply retreat to his room for the rest of the day.
He walked up to her door, about to knock, before his fears got the better of him and told him it'd be best not to bother.
As soon as Asuka heard Shinji's door slide closed, she slid her own open. She was starving, but wouldn't dare tell that idiot, she didn't need his pity.
Walking into the kitchen she grabbed her portion of dinner. As she began to make her way back to her room, she stopped and looked at the calendar hung up on the kitchen wall. It hadn't been changed since September. She flipped it over to December and looked it over before her eyes settled on one day.
'December 4th'
That was her birthday, she hated her birthday. A stupid day to celebrate a stupid achievement. She should be congratulated on killing angels not living for a full rotation around the sun.
Despite these feelings though, a small part of her wanted someone to wish her a happy birthday. It was a part of her that she had kept locked away since the day her mother died, a part of her that just wanted to be a kid.
She walked back to her room and ate her dinner. It didn't feel like her room anymore though, more like a hotel, a room that wasn't hers just somewhere she was staying. She wanted to get out of this place, it didn't matter how long for she just needed to be somewhere else.
She grabbed her cellphone and quickly called Hikari, her best friend was one of the only people she felt comfortable around right now. She didn't even try Kaji, he hadn't been answering her anyway.
A few second of ringing and Hikari's voice came over the speaker.
"Hey Asuka-," she was quickly cut off.
"Hikari can I come over to your place for a bit," Asuka tried her best to hide the almost frantic tone of her voice.
"Yea Asuka of course," She could tell something was up, Asuka never spoke like this.
That was all Asuka needed, she almost immediately relaxed. Knowing she had somewhere to stay did a wonder for her.
"Thanks, I'll be over in an hour or so," at that she ended the call.
She grabbed a bag from underneath her bed and began to stuff clothes in. It didn't matter what, she wouldn't be there long, just a few days at the most.
After packing whatever else she needed Asuka made her way to the front door, but before she could even make it out of the hall something made her stop in front of Shinji's door.
A sob, she though she heard a sob. What could he possibly be crying for? He had it all, more angel kills than her, a higher synch rate, his precious doll.
Even all of Misato's limited attention was given to him.
Not even realizing what she was doing she grabbed his door and slid it open.
Shinji for his part didn't even notice her, still too caught up in the self loathing that plagued his life.
Asuka just took one look at him, whatever angry remarks she had cooking up never got the chance to escape her mouth.
He wasn't worth the effort right now.
Though she had to say something, he had started looking at her, perhaps expecting her to yell at him.
"I'm going to Hikari's for a few days, idiot, try not to die without me," she left his room, not giving him a moment to reply.
As Shinji lay there on his bed, in a room that sometimes felt more like a closet, he couldn't help but think of the times when his life was simpler.
Pilot the Eva, go to the arcade with Toji and Kensuke, cook for Misato and Asuka.
It was a routine for him, something that made him happy. Change wasn't fun, and the changes to his life recently even less so.
He thought about Toji, someone who nearly died because of him. He couldn't even face his friend as he was too scared of what might happen.
He thought of Kensuke, he hadn't spoken to him since before the last angel though. Even then he had said nothing while Kensuke spoke about his envy for shinji, before the line was cut by presumably Section Two.
Maybe he could go to the arcade? Yea that would be a good idea. It'd help him get his mind off things, maybe recapture some of the happiness he'd felt when he went there months ago.
So he stood up, and went out into the hallway.
Walking through the kitchen, headed for the door, Shinji stopped. He looked over at the wall and saw the calendar had been moved up to December.
His eyes landed on one day.
'December 4th, Asuka's birthday,' he thought.
In his head he heard Misato's words.
'Maybe you could do something, I know she'd appreciate it.'
He shook his head, clearing the thoughts away, and went to leave.
The mall was almost barren, most of Tokyo-3's civilian population had been moving away after the last angel.
It made sense, it was one of the most devastating attacks the city had seen. The Geofront even still had wreckage from the inverted buildings lying on its ground.
Despite this however, some people still remained. Perhaps they thought it'd be safer in the city built to defend against the angels than anywhere else.
Shinji wished it were so.
He looked around at the few people still here.
A man wearing a black suit sat on one of the many benches around, reading a newspaper. Shinji assumed he was waiting for someone.
A few kids walked by, laughing and having fun with each other. They were carefree, to them the big robots would save the day and they needn't worry. Shinji wished he had that attitude.
Getting closer to the arcade he took a last few looks around the quiet building before entering. However a voice stopped him.
"Happy birthday Mayumi!"
He turned his head and saw a woman with who he presumed to be her daughter. They were happy, laughing, they were a family.
The sight made him once again recall memories of earlier times, when he had felt like Misato and Asuka were his family.
A few more kids walked past him and stopped at the store next to the arcade.
"Woah! Look they have a kit of that big red robot!"
A big red robot? That made Shinji confused. As far as hew knew the Eva's weren't meant to be so public.
Maybe they relaxed in hopes the public would gain more trust in Nerv after the last angel.
He walked over to the store, and looked through the display window at the Unit-02 model kit.
The kids already there gave him odd looks, but he thought nothing of it. They eventually left, leaving Shinji by himself with a conflict brewing in his mind.
Misato's voice played once again.
'I know she'd appreciate it.'
Why would she appreciate it though? He had done many things for her before and often times never got any thanks. It almost made him regret ever trying with her.
That thought brought Kaji's voice to the forefront of his mind. Hearing the speech he was given before he ran back to Nerv to pilot once again.
'Figure out what you need to do right now, so you don't have any regrets later, alright?'
The short battle in his mind was over, a decision made.
For some reason Asuka felt even less at home at Hikari's.
If she had to guess, it was probably the way Hikari was tiptoeing around her. As if she were a bomb bound to blow any second now.
She knew she shouldn't be mad at her, it was only reasonable that Hikari cared. But damn she hated being treated like a child who didn't know her emotions.
"Whatever you want to say, just say it already."
Hikari looked at her, puzzled, before she realized what Asuka meant.
She sighed, "Asuka, are you okay?"
A loud scoff echoed through the room.
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be," she shifted in her seat, quickly regretting her choice to face the obvious question.
"Youre acting different Asuka, ever since that last attack you've been different."
Another scoff, another sigh.
"How am I supposed to act then? Like that stupid Shinji?"
This was the point where Hikari knew the conversation was a loss, yet she still wanted to try.
"I want to help you Asuka, but I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong."
Asuka ground her teeth, she was being treated like a child.
"Nothing is wrong Hikari."
The tension in the air was heavy, Asuka wanted to get out.
She looked at Hikari, and averted her gaze not a second later.
"I'm gonna leave," she stood up and grabbed her things.
"Thanks for letting me stay," she said in barely a whisper.
Before Hikari knew it Asuka was already gone. So she buried her head in her hands and let a few tears fall.
It was about nine in the morning when Asuka left, though now 10:30. She was taking her time getting back to the apartment. She really didn't want to return.
Though wants didn't have a place in real life, so she steeled her heart and entered the building's elevator.
She found herself on autopilot, open the door, take off her shoes, get to her room.
'Don't even give that idiot a glance,' she thought.
Unfortunately she was unable to do so. As soon as she came into the kitchen she saw him asleep at the kitchen table. With a toy scattered around him.
She grabbed the toys box and gave it a curious look upon seeing it was a model kit of her Unit-02.
'What could the idiot possibly want with this.'
Her question was about to be answered as Shinji began to stir. She looked at him, waiting for him to realize she was there.
In Shinji's defense he had been up til four in the morning, so it was going to take him a moment to come to his senses.
When he did he took a few looks around the table, remembered what he was doing, then noticed a shadow looming over him. Tentatively he tilted his head and met the gaze of his roommate.
"Asuka! What're you doing here, I thought you were staying at Hikari's?"
She scoffed, he didn't have a right to know why she left.
"Don't worry about it, what you should worry about is why you have a model kit of my Unit-02."
Shinji unintentionally blushed, she wasn't meant to see the model until her birthday.
He took a few seconds to gather his thoughts, if he messed up here she might not care about his intentions.
"I... I bought it... for you," the last part was a mumble but Asuka still heard. It made her eyes widen. He had an emotion in his voice she couldn't quite place, it wasn't pity, nor desire, it was compassion.
Her mind was a jumble, no one had ever really bought her a gift out of the kindness of their heart. She placed the box down and took a step back. Shinji hadn't looked up yet, so she took the chance to retreat to her room.
Shinji sat there looking at where Asuka was just a moment before. He wouldn't admit it, but her leaving had hurt him in a way he couldn't say. One last chance and it seemed-
"Alright idiot let's build it then."
His thoughts were cut off by Asuka walking back in, having changed out of the clothes she had worn at Hikari's.
When he didn't respond Asuka gave an exaggerated sigh.
"Well, you said it's for me, so I think I should get to help build it."
He gave her an honest smile, the first one he'd worn in quite a while.
"That makes sense," so he motioned her to sit down next to him, and she obliged.
Maybe his gamble had payed off.
He took a look at the clock, it read 4:26, they'd been so preoccupied neither realized how much time had passed. Or that both were very hungry.
"Are you hungry?"
"yea, haven't eaten since Hikari's," she gave him a small smile, he thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. It made him smile back.
After eating they continued on with the kit, having completed the torso, legs, and an arm and a half. They were on the final stretch now, but truth be told neither wanted this small bubble of bliss to be popped. Though both knew it would be sooner rather than later.
As they went through the final arm, and beginning on the head and pylons, Shinji realized they hadn't spoken barely at all since they started. It was odd to him, probably the longest he'd ever gone been around Asuka without some kind of rude word from her.
It made him quite happy, and a smile graced him one more.
"What are you smiling about?"
The smile fell, the precious bubble now popped, albeit unintentionally.
'Don't make her angry, you'll ruin what's barely here if you do,' he thought.
"Nothing," a scoff, wrong answer.
"Obviously it's not nothing," she turned to look away.
Shinji atleast realized he made a mistake and began to backtrack.
"I-it's just that... I think this is the longest we've gone without you yelling at me, it made me kinda happy," he tried his best mumble the last part but Asuka still heard.
A blush crept upon her cheeks just as one did with Shinji's, though both were looking away from the other.
"Let's finish this," Asuka hastily added, she desperately wanted the comfortable silence back.
"Alright," Shinji replied.
Two smiles returned.
Shinji picked up the now finished head and placed it upon the model. It now stood tall and proud in its bright red glory.
"Done."
He looked over to Asuka and noticed the smile she had, she looked truly happy for what he thought was the first time since she arrived in Tokyo-3.
"Here," he picked up the model and handed it to her.
"Happy birthday Asuka," he gave her an honest smile and ignored the blush he had.
Asuka gently took it from him, it was precious to her now, a symbol of a day that didn't have to be so bad.
Shinji took another glance at the clock, it read 9:54.
"It's late now, I'm gonna go to sleep, goodnight Asuka," he got up and walked to his room.
"Goodnight," she replied without looking up from the model.
At the door he took one last look at Asuka, and he smiled once more, if you asked he wouldn't be able to tell you why.
Asuka sat there at the table, her thoughts were in chaos much like they were hours prior.
Shinji cared, and he cared enough to get her a gift, a gift he knew she would like.
She hated her birthday, so why was she so happy right now?
She took another look at the model, decided it needed safe keeping, and went to to put it on a desk in her room.
When she got inside she realized how much of a mess it was, clothes strewn about, several plates of food and cups sitting around.
She wanted to sleep, but with her mind cleared of the anger and sadness plaguing her for the past few weeks, she decided it was time to clean her room.
About an hour later her room was sufficiently cleaned, not spotless, but certainly more livable. It felt like her room again, no longer just a place.
She placed the model on her bedside desk and stared at it for a few moments.
Words could not express how such a simple item was making her feel. Though she would try her best to do so.
She walked out of her room, stood at Shinji's door, and steeled herself for what she was about to do.
Sliding it open, she saw him on his bed facing the wall. His breathing even and his eyes closed, he looked asleep, Asuka really hoped he was.
She padded over to his bed, quiet as she could. Taking a few looks to see if he was awake, she silently climbed in and laid with her back facing him.
A deep breath, words aren't her strong suit.
"Hey idiot."
No reply, she continued.
"Thanks for that," her eyes stung, tears threatened them. It had been a while since she cried, and she was about to do so over a stupid boy.
"It meant a lot to me, so thank you," unbeknownst to her, Shinji smiled.
Maybe a broken piece of glass could be glued back in place.
Maybe a place can once again become a home.
Maybe a birthday didn't have to be a stupid day.
This was an idea I had a while back in the asushin discord server, never got around to wanting to write it. But I was bored the last week or so and decided to try my hand at a fic.
A thanks to hydrationstation over there. He actually gave me the idea of them building the kit together.
Might write another might not, who knows.