Here are the next few entries. Enjoy!
Days had passed since Illipia and Haan's conversation. Days she still grappled with the questions his Yin and Yang brought. How she hated it, finding doubt where there was once absolute certainty.
All she knew was life and light, yet Haan spoke of death and darkness as though it were the natural order. That could not be right! And yet, she could not help but feel a sliver of truth in this idea. She had traveled all across Elrios, and everywhere she went she found death and traces of darkness. She had walked this world since the El Explosion tore it in two, to mend the hearts of the people and lead them into Ishmael's embrace.
She had been very successful in this mission, and she took great pride as the darkness receded. But there was always - always - more. It was as though for every light she illuminated, a shadow would grow in defiance of its radiance. And Haan's words had brought those insecurities to the surface of her mind.
She needed to consult with her Goddess.
So when the party stopped to rest, she lay on the bedroll Haan offered her. Though she was a Celestial, her body still required rest. But it also provided an opportunity to commune with her Goddess. So as her body surrendered to sleep, she reached out in silent prayer. "Ishmael, it is I! Your loyal agent of creation! Please, lend me your audience!"
Her body and mind fell to slumber, but her conscious ascended beyond the sky and past the boundary of mortals and gods. She found herself standing under a sphere with the likeness of Elrios imposed upon it. All around her were massive pillars of white marble and golden accents, and the white floor shifted like clouds.
Most impressive was the golden throne before her. In it was a ball of intense light with giant, ornate, ivory greaves and gauntlets for arms and legs. One of the arms was reaching out to a small mote of light hovering in the air before it, caressing it lovingly.
"You called, my child?" Illipia could tell that her Goddess' attention was on the mote.
She knelt in reverence. "My Goddess, I require your council."
She felt Ishmael's "eyes" turn to her, and the gauntlet ceased its loving gestures to the mote. "What troubles you, Illipia? Has another warrior fallen?"
Illipia shook her head. "No. The remaining warriors are actually skilled in combat, not talk alone. But Sir Haan-"
"Sir Haan?" Illipia flinched. "You refer to the mortal as though you were in close confidence."
Again, Illipia shook her head, a little harder than before. "No! I merely recall this mortal's name as it is convenient for my mission." Ishmael said nothing, an invitation to continue. "Sir Ha- He… shared a belief with me and I find it… troubling."
The legs and arms leaned back into the throne slightly. "What did the mortal say, my child?"
Illipia recounted their conversation. She left nothing out, from how he explained night and day to the circle he drew in the earth. Ishmael held her silence for a few tense moments. Then she spat the words, "Blasphemous heretic…" Illipia lowered her head in subjugation. "Light is all there is. Life is what all should be. Darkness and death are mistakes. Mistakes to be corrected. You know this well, Illipia."
"Yes, I do. I do know this."
"Then why does this mortal's blasphemy trouble you? Is he not an example of what we strive to correct?"
"Yes, I recognize that this mortal is but one of many who must know your divine love."
"Then pay no more heed to his words. You shall be the one who saves him from the darkness." A gauntlet floated forward and gently lifted Illipia's chin. "Have faith in me, Illipia. Of my four children, you are the one who I imparted my love onto, so that you may give it to the mortals of our beloved creation, Elrios. Stay strong, my child. The shadows will wither before your divine belief. Have faith."
Illipia remained silent for a moment, before clasping one of the fingers in her hands. "Thank you for your guidance, my Goddess. I shall remain steadfast in the face of this doubt."
"Good." The gauntlet withdrew from her chin to return to the throne. "Before you leave, have you heard from Raul, yet?"
Illipia shook her head. "No, I have not. Will she be running late?"
The gauntlets laced their fingers together. "Unfortunately, but only by a day she claims. She was sidetracked by… you know how she is." Passing judgement on perceived nonbelievers, Illipia thought.
Illipia nodded. "Yes, I understand. She was supposed to arrive before my party anyways, so a day will likely see us arriving at the same time. Thank you again for your guidance, my Goddess. I promise to see your wish fulfilled."
Illipia could feel something like a smile form within the ball of light. "I know, my child. Take care. May your light shine bright."
The party had reached the midpoint of their journey: The Firelands. It was a plateau where none lived. Illipia had been mostly silent since her conversation with Ishmael a week prior, only speaking when necessary and when she attempted to lead the warriors in prayer. They at least listened to her recite the teachings of her Goddess.
Illipia still thought on her conversation with Haan about Yin and Yang. She still saw death take life, and darkness deepen in the light. But her council with her Goddess steeled her resolve. She now believed that with her Goddess' blessing, this land would no longer know darkness. It would flourish under her embrace. And if the price for such salvation was the life of a monster than so much the better.
They were nearly at the top of the plateau. The sun was still high. "Lady Illipia, we will be resting here for tonight." Haan said as he helped her climb a boulder.
"It is just past mid-day, Sir Haan. Are you certain we should stop now?" The sooner they reached the peak the better.
Haan nodded. "Yes. This is a… special place for us, the people of Xin. We would like to spend some time meditating here."
She fought back a frown. She'd be more inclined to agree had they say pray to her Goddess. But she had to allow this, so instead she asked, "What is so special about this place, Sir Haan?"
He gestured to a burnt shrub on the cliff face. "Legends from before the Great Disaster spoke of this place as a vibrant landscape filled with life in startling variety. However, when the earth split, a flaming meteor hurtled over Xin. Sparks from the meteor ignited the plateau and the once vibrant life was engulfed in hungry flames. Nothing remained but blackened husks and ash after the sky doused the flames with torrents of rain. You can still the remnants of the event today."
He must've been talking about the El Explosion, the catastrophic event that saw the Goddess' first devoted, the El Lady and one of her protectors disappear at a critical moment of instability within the El. It would seem the explosion threw a fragment of El over Xin and was the spark that ignited the blaze he spoke of. More death in a world that should know only life.
"Then why rest in such a dead place, Sir Haan?" She asked. They were a couple more climbs to the top.
She saw him smirk slightly at her question. "Dead? Lady Illipia, withhold your judgement until we reach the top." Her eyes narrowed, but she held her tongue. She could still see the ashen remains of trees and bushes on the cliffside. How would the top be any different? She grasped Haan's hand one last time and let him hoist her up. They reached the top. And she could only stare.
Brilliant green shrubs and trees covered the top of the plateau, dotted with colorful flowers and fruits. A small pond of crystal clear water sat in the middle, surrounded by small formations of stacked stone flecked with shards of water and fire El. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words left her throat. Only an awestruck breath.
Haan smiled and gestured to the plateau. "After the inferno and the flood, our ancestors thought this land lost to destruction. But then, the most remarkable thing happened." He knelt to stroke the soil gently and beckoned for Illipia to join him. She walked to Haan and knelt beside him to see a tiny sprout poking out of the brown earth underneath his fingers. "Life began to grow anew. Despite all the destruction and death that the Great Disaster brought, life found its way back, more vibrant than ever."
He now stood and raised his arms as if to embrace the plateau. "This is the birthplace of what we call Yin and Yang. A place that flourished, died, and was reborn. We do not worship death. We accept it as a piece of what is life. Life cannot be without death. And death cannot be without life. What cannot live cannot die. And what cannot die cannot live. Life against the backdrop of death is so…"
"Beautiful…" Illipia gasped when she realized the word left her mouth.
But Haan did not ridicule her. He merely smiled softly. "Yes. Beautiful. Please, Lady Illipia join us. Let us share the beauty of our land with you."
She couldn't refuse. It was so beautiful. And she found herself unbothered by the death that had brought it.
Why would she care? This land was beautiful.
The party meditated atop the Firelands for the remainder of the day. The four warriors invited Illipia to join them, but she refused their offer out of quiet embarrassment. Instead, she took the time to pray to Ishmael, sharing what she was seeing. She heard no words in answer; it was likely her Goddess was preoccupied with other matters. Night fell, and the party turned in for the night.
Illipia did not reach out to her Goddess for council like before. She wanted to lay peacefully in this beautiful land. Her dreams were filled with light and life, and to her surprise Haan was there as well. They were walking through a verdant land in respectful silence, occasionally stopping to watch exotic flowers bloom and fairies dance through the air.
But then, the dream began to turn dark. The silence became tense, the sky darkened and the plants began to wither. She and Haan observed a rotting bulb, which fell open and belched a foul cloud of ash. Haan breathed it in.
And then died.
Illipia woke with a start. Morning was nearly upon them. The others had yet to rise, so she took the moments offered to calm her shaking hands. Her gaze rested on Haan's slumbering form for only a brief moment, just enough to confirm his chest rising and falling.
She could not place this emotion that now ran through her. It was dark, serpentine and whispered words that sent shivers up her spine. She clasped her hands together and prayed for this foul feeling to recede. In time, it did just as the sun finally broke the horizon and the warriors woke.
Illipia reset her expression and bade the men good morning, which they returned. They spent the next couple of hours washing in the pond and gathering fruit for the next leg of their journey. She saw them pocket some of the El shards that were embedded in the stones. Haan claimed that when used together, they could be a source of light for them travel somewhat in the darkness of night.
They left the Firelands and began the final ascent to Fahrmann, their penultimate destination. The others began asking Haan what his home was like. He answered, "It is a small village. We live simple lives on the mountain. We pray at the temple built on my home. We hunt, gather and grow our food. I am the chief warrior of the village."
Xheng Zian laughed his hearty laugh. "Must make you quite the catch. Any suitors?"
For the first time, Illipia saw Haan blush. "... One. And she is my betrothed."
Chandragupta looked like he was struck by lightning. "You!? Betrothed!?"
Haan nodded and Takeshi's usual terse expression broke into one of surprise. "I… never expected that, Haan. Forgive my forwardness, but you seem… distant. Difficult to get close to. She must be special to you."
Haan smiled sheepishly. "... Yes. Yes she is."
Illipia found this to be a refreshing break from her morning's anxiety. "What is her name, Sir Haan?"
He scratched the back of his head nervously. "... Chunhua. Her name is Chunhua. She is the daughter of our village's potter."
Xheng Zian clapped his back. "Well, good for you, Haan! We can't wait to meet her and tell her all about your bond with our precious priestess."
Haan and Illipia gave him the same jaded look. "We are not like that," they said flatly.
The man laughed. "Ha! You even speak in step with each other!"
Illipia shook her head. "I find Sir Haan's company certainly welcome, and our conversations have been stimulating. But my love is given to our Goddess. I have no room in my heart for a man."
Haan looked at her with an even stare. Xheng Zian laughed again. "Too bad, Haan. You heard our precious priestess."
Haan finally did something none had seen him do before: He laughed. It was a small, quiet laugh, but a laugh all the same. "I heard her, Xheng Zian. But does this also mean you are out of luck yourself?"
The men roared with laughter and Illipia couldn't help but join in. Seeing them like this, so full of life, reminded her of how life could be so beautiful.
But the whisper still hissed, drowned by the laughter.
Another warrior had fallen. The group was discovered by a group of evil men when the El shards the party brought from the Firelands illuminated their position in the night. The evil men waited for the group to fall asleep and descended upon them. Despite Haan's warning. the sudden attack and their superior numbers took forced the party onto the defensive. During the fight, Takeshi took an arrow meant for Illipia before the group forced back the bandits.
But the arrow was envenomed, and the evil men would return 's left arm was already paralyzed when he looked to Haan. "Go. Leave me. I am a dead man walking now. I will see to it they do not pursue you any further."
Illipia, having begun to grow fond of the men, was opposed to the idea. Her control over the El would allow her to cleanse the venom from Takeshi's body. But in doing so might reveal her true power and compromise her identity, thus putting her mission at risk. Takeshi bade the group farewell and climbed down to narrow ridge before she could decide. The others left him to fulfill his final act.
Takeshi waited for the evil men to climb the ridge. One, two, three, twenty. That was all of them. The man at their front sneered at Takeshi, tapping his axe on his shoulder. All that stood between them and the others was a man with a lame arm and a foot in the grave. He and his friends advanced towards the crippled warrior with weapons raised.
Takeshi merely waited, his functioning hand resting calmly on his sheathed blade. He waited for them to stop a mere six paces from him before he moved. But he did not draw his blade. He tossed a handful of blue stones at their feet; water El shards. The evil men looked at them and laughed. But when they looked up to smirk at their quarry, their eyes widened in surprise.
Takeshi was shaking a red glow in his hand that was quickly growing in intensity. They realized too late his final gambit. Together, fire and water El produced a stable source of light like that of a torch. Fire by its very nature was unpredictable on its own.
Volatile.
Takeshi roared to the heavens and leapt forward. The shards in his hand detonated and the fiery explosion rocked the cliffside engulfing the evil men. The ridge crumbled away and the ball of flame illuminated the night briefly before fading away.
The others said nothing. What was there to say? Takeshi had offered his life so that they may continue. To lament over it would be a dishonor to the skilled warrior. Illipia insisted that they pray for Takeshi's soul. They refused, but Xheng Zian gathered stones and carefully stacked them on a patch of grass on the cliffside.
"We do not pray as you do, Lady Illipia," he said. "But we will not forget that his death allowed us to continue. We will honor him with this monument. We will honor his decisive choice that saved us all."
Haan and Chandragupta remained silent. Illipia watched the men as they left offerings of food and drink at the monument. They had done something similar for Shisui at his passing, but they lacked the somber demeanor they adopted now for Takeshi. She now knew that this was how the people of Xin remembered their deceased. They respected them for their actions in life. They remembered their deeds by committing their efforts to building a shrine in their memory. These people were grateful to their dead. Grateful that they had the privilege to know them. Grateful to have learned from them, no matter how small the lesson.
Grateful to have lived alongside them.
To her, death was foreign. She was eternal, thus death did not come for her as it did for mortals. Was this why she was averse to the idea of it? That something could end? That she could not end?
She looked at the remaining men. Chandragupta, Xheng Zian, Haan. They would end. She would not. How was this fair? Why must they die and she live?
This wasn't fair.
Illipia had not spoken a word since Takeshi's sacrifice. She did not even pray, for every time she knelt, clasped her hands and closed her eyes she could hear a dark whisper drown her prayers. Was she being led astray? Had her Goddess forsaken her knowing that she grieved over one mortal life?
She had seen many deaths in her time on this world. But they were all faceless strangers. Mortals that she never had the chance nor the desire to know. Some may have told her their name at some point, but she never committed them to memory. She thought nothing of the corpses she stepped over in the ancient Elrian Kingdom or the savage lands to the south of Xin.
But these men she knew. They were the first mortals she spent enough time to learn about them. She knew that Chandragupta was a hopeless romantic and would likely remain a bachelor for the rest of his life. Xheng Zian, for all his boisterous posturing, was a walking disaster when it came to cooking.
And Haan… She held no special feelings towards the man, but she found his presence to be calming. She did not require his martial skills to guarantee her safety, she could take care of herself. Rather it was his quiet gaze that told you he was listening when you spoke to him and his blunt honesty that was delivered with deliberate words. He was true to himself, and it showed. She found some measure of comfort in that.
And there was one more thing. "Lady Illipia. May I have a moment of your time?"
"Of course, Sir Haan. How can I be of service?" The group had stopped to rest in a small cave on the mountain.
He set down his weapons and sat on the ground, beckoning her to sit with him. She obliged and sat down next to him, barely an arm's length away. "Are you alright?"
Illipia looked at the stony ground. "... I'm unharmed, Sir Haan. And the climb hasn't been too difficult. At our current pace, we will reach your village by tomorrow."
Haan gave her a hard look. "... You haven't spoken a word since-"
"Please… Sir Haan. I'm alright." She did not want to hear it. Just the mere mention of that event would summon those dark whispers.
"Lady Illipia, forgive my persistence, but you are not alright. A shadow hangs over you, I can feel it."
She shook her head. "No, I am uninjured and rested. Let us continue our climb." She made to stand, but a firm hand grabbed her wrist. It was a strong grip, but not painful.
"Please, a few more moments." She sat back down and he released her wrist.. "I do not wish to presume. Tell me, what troubles you, Lady Illipia?"
The whispers began to hiss. "... Death, Sir Haan."
"I see. Takeshi's death?"
The whispers grew louder. "... Yes."
"Do you grieve for him, Lady Illipia?"
"I…" She could not grieve for a mortal life after seeing so many pass. But this one life, Takeshi's life, felt precious, making the loss far more painful than she imagined it would be. "I have seen death in my prior travels. Everywhere. But it never made me feel so… afraid before."
Haan looked at her. "Afraid? Do you fear death, Lady Illipia?"
She met his gaze. "... No. Not as one like you would anyways."
He narrowed his eyes in confusion. " I don't follow."
Illipia took a deep breath. The whispers were louder now, and she began feeling irritated. She felt her grasp on her facade slip. "Must I explain this to you, Sir Haan?" she said sharply. "I fear not my own death. I fear for yours. And Chandragupta's. And Xheng Zian's." She began to shout. "I am not like you! I love life! I love the light! Death should not come for life! Even if life shines brighter against it, I hate death! Why did he have to die like that!?"
Chandragupta and Xheng Zian stared at Illipia, surprised. Haan said nothing. And then his hand reached for her shoulder and gripped it gently. "Lady Illipia, what you just said tells me you are more like us than you think." She looked at him, confused. "We too fear for the lives of our friends. We would fear for the death of others we do not know as well. But what would that accomplish?" He gave her shoulder a small squeeze. "Fear drives us to do both the incredible and the terrible. It can be dangerous to always live in fear. To fear for the death of all is to fear life. To fear for the death of those you love is to cherish what time you have with them."
Haan looked to the other warriors and they smiled. "We are but small men in this large world. We can fight to change what we can, and we understand that there is much we cannot do. But if we were to lament on how small we are we cannot touch the lives of those closest to us. Death gives our lives meaning. Fear drives us to live our lives as best we can for those we love, so that when our time comes we need not be afraid anymore."
He moved his hand to her opposite shoulder and pulled her into a small embrace. "Alone, fear only grows fear. Together, fear cultivates courage. If we live our lives for one another, we shall stand against that fear of death when it comes. We are brave because we are afraid. And if you are afraid, Lady Illipia..."
"... I must be brave," she finished. The whisper, at last, faded. She heaved a relieved sigh. "Thank you, Sir Haan."
"Of course, Lady Illipia." He released her and stood. He offered his hand to her. This was the other thing she liked about this man. He was attentive and prepared to lend whatever assistance he could when it was needed. His words, even the blasphemous ones, had enriched her perspective
She took his hand, and began to realize something. She was more like these mortals than she believed. All this time, she saw herself as more than them. But it was that eternal life that blinded her to what life, perhaps, truly was. For all her worship of life and light, she had not truly lived.
Because she never felt this ready to face down death. She never felt so ready to live.
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Until next time!