There are three things to remember when dealing with a muggles and their magical children:
1: Confirm that their child is, in fact, magical.
Seeing that the kid is the Boy Who Fucking Lived, thats already covered.
2: Make sure that the family/caretakers are the only ones present. It is better to not expose unaffiliated muggles than to Obliviate. (Something he's been trying to pound into the dumb motherfuckers at the ministry's heads.)
Calling these people "caretakers" is a very loose term but they fall into the technicality so he can get this shit show on the road.
3: Break the news gently, as muggles are easily startled by the unknown.
The Dursleys already knew about magic and he felt that saying "motherfucker" only once was gentle enough. No need to pussyfoot around this shit. He had a lot to do today.
Harry looks a little shocked at his declaration, brows furrowing is confusion. "I'm sorry, sir. But magic isn't real."
Well shit. He had to explain shit now.
He had been ignoring the uncle's bellowing but really, there was a limit to his patience. Turning to the large man in charge, he simply said, "Shut the fuck up."
And so Mr. Dursley did. His lips kept moving, face going purple in his rage. But not a sound escaped. Professor Jackson turned back to the tiny boy and smirked at his slack jawed expression. "See that kid. That was magic." A wave of his hand and the broken cups were once again placed in neat, singular pieces on the tray. "Also magic."
Harry's eyes sparkled with pure awe and innocence. Something that so many wizards and witches lacked these days. It was almost cute.
The sound of a shrill ass voice was what made it not cute.
"I refuse." Petunia Dursley screeched, her son's face pressed to her bony ass chest and hands covering his ears. Like she was trying to hide him away. As if his fat ass could hide anywhere in that livingroom. "I refuse to have any of his freakishness infect my precious Duddeykins."
Samuel snorted. "Duddykins?" He laughed while gripping his knee for support. "You call your kid Duddykins? That has to be the most dumbass name I've ever heard." Professor Jackson coughed into his hand to try to get his laughter under control as he was still on a schedule. Motherfucking school to run and everything. "Lady, I know you;ve got some jealousy issues or whatever. Seen it before. You probably like to be at the center of everything and use that long ass neck of yours to spy on your neighbors." Petunia gaped at the nerve of him. Oh well, the truth hurts. "Oh please, I noticed that you only have roses at the front of the house and hydrangeas against the fence. Dont wanna ruin your clothes on the thorns when you spy, huh?"
Harry held back his own laugh at the comment for it was absolutely true.
"Why I never!" Mrs Dursley screeched. Her son was trying to turn around to turn around and see what was happening, his weight easily overpowering his mother's grip. The boy gave a side glare to his cousin, one that received a flinch in response. Mr Dursley had settled down at some point and was sitting with his own glare pointed at Harry. Professor Jaclson could only sigh. What a motherfucking mess. He really didn't have the energy to deal with the idiots.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he merely flicked his wrist and a small bolt of magic struck Dudley in the rear. The boy jumped up with a squeal, hands clamped over his bottom as he ran around the couch squealing. A tiny, curled tail peeking through his hands.
"Well aint that a motherucking shame." He said as he casually started to lead Harry out of the room. "I was only trying to cancel the animagus transformation, I didn't realize he was fully human." The words were spoken with faux sympathy and concern. Another zap and suddenly Mr Dursley could speak again. His bellowing words could be heard alongside his son's squeals and wife's sobs. "I'll just take Harry with me. I'm sure yall motherfuckers are too preoccupied to deal with this at the moment."
The two beat a hasty retreat, well Harry made the hasty retreat. Professor Jackson walked out as though he owned the place. They were out the door, down the street and in a luxurious car before Harry could finally process what had happened. Harry stared at the Headmaster with mild concern as they zipped past other cars on the highway, the scenery a literal blur as it whipped past. "Uh… sir?" Harry started hesitantly.
"Yeah kid?"
Harry gripped his oversized jeans nervously. So much had happened in the space of thirty minutes and his mind was reeling. "I don't have any money." He said lamely. He didn't really know what else to say. The boy jumped with a start when the adult let out a deep laugh.
"You've got money kid. I can assure you of motherfucking that."