Sweet creature
We're running through the garden
Oh, where nothing bothered us
But we're still young
I always think about you and how we don't speak enough
(Sweet Creature by Harry Styles)
A week had passed since Harry had that conversation with Ron and he hadn't gotten anywhere near a real conversation with Ginny or with anyone else for that matter. Now that their story was finally out into the universe things were starting to get more chaotic and owls came every day from people trying to get an interview with him or his friends. After a month of silent grief, the wizarding world seemed to be waking up to a house on fire and all of the available hands had to be put to use. In the Burrow things weren't quite so busy but Mr. Weasley came home every day with stories about missing people that had been found, not always alive, or with news from the new team leading the Ministry. Dinner wasn't quite so silent anymore and it was nice but also a reminder to Harry that he was still not strong enough to be a part of that rebuilding. He still felt so hopeless and alone, with no energy to start difficult conversations he needed to face.
As he was preparing breakfast one day Harry was surprised by Ginny strolling into the kitchen way earlier than usual. The first thing he noticed was how short her hair was and the second was how beautiful and fierce it made her look.
"Your hair" he said sounding like the stupidest man on earth
Ginny seemed to be as surprised as him that words had just come out of his mouth, directed to her, for the first time in so long. For a second they just stood there, staring at each other, not saying a word, as if they had just realized how much time had passed since they last really looked at one another. Then the silence was broken with the sound of Ginny's laughter.
"I can't believe you, Harry" she said with her hands in her mouth as if trying to keep herself from laughing more "You haven't spoken to me in weeks and the first thing you say is: yOuR hAir. I cut it ok, I was tired of the long one and I hope you don't also give me hell about it, I'll get enough of that from mom"
Another beat of silence stretched between them as Harry desperately asked his brain to pick up the pace and react.
"I didn't mean it like that I…" he started then took a deep breath, trying to focus "I'm sorry, I was gonna say that it looks gorgeous, really suits you."
"In that case thank you" she answered, passing him on her way out into the backyard, not bothering to stop while grabbing a piece of bread he had made "And don't apologize, I'm glad you're still the worst flirt in the world. It means you're still the same Harry"
And just like that she was out of the kitchen, making him wonder if he had dreamed the whole thing. But he hadn't and the jasmine scent that stayed with Harry all day long was proof.
After giving up on reading a random book he found in Ron's room about famous quidditch players with tragic life stories, Harry set up in bed and started his everyday afternoon ritual of staring into nothing. That day his best friend had gone to Diagon Alley with the mission to find strategies to reopen his brother's store. He imagined it was a hard task to face especially since George refused to even listen to his plans. Harry heard that Hermione was going with him so that helped settle the feeling of guilt he got every time he thought about how he was neglecting his friend's grief. He hated that he had become the person who hides from their friends in an attempt to not disturb them with their pain but ends up hurting them anyway. He was so angry with himself for that but he also felt so ashamed to talk to them because he felt like all the things they were facing were his fault. Harry thought he'd come to terms with Ron and Hermione's choice to follow him in that suicide quest but silence has a way of bringing back unresolved feelings to surface.
He was about to lay back down and try to get some sleep since he didn't usually get much during the night when an owl came in through the window carrying an astonishing amount of letters for its size. He helped put the bird out of his misery and started to open them expecting more pleas from writers who wanted to help him find his voice or whatever. When he looked at the back of the first envelope he saw it actually had come from the Minister himself, not odd but definitely made him worry. The second one was also from the Ministry but from the head of the Auro's office, the strangest of the three. The last was from professor McGonagoll, the most unexpected.
He opened them in that order and got more and more overwhelmed with each reading finished. Kingsley wrote to say that he was being awarded with an Order of Merlin, First Order in a memorial ceremony that was going to be hosted in the Ministry the following month, in the two month anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. The head auror was writing to tell him the training for new personnel was starting in august and that he would be honored to have him in the group. His old teacher wrote to tell him he had a spot in Hogwarts to finish his 7th year if he wanted to.
When he put the last letter down his head was spinning and for a moment Harry thought he was going to pass out. He felt shame for being awarded a medal for a service he could've done better and saved more lives. He was choked by the invitation to be a part of something he dreamed about for so long. He was sad from the reminder of how he lost his last year as a teenager and now could never get it back. But most of all he was scared of the choices he didn't want to make but was being forced to.
He felt way too old and tired but also way too young and naive to deal with all of that so he laid back in his bed and let the tears slid silently down his cheeks. Night came and he didn't go down for supper and when Ron entered the room and tried to talk to him he pretended to be asleep while his friend pretended to believe it. -
The following morning Harry woke up with a terrible headache and only went downstairs when he was sure everybody had already gotten lunch. On his way to the kitchen he skipped past Hermione and Ron when they tried to say something to him. After grabbing something to eat, he went straight to the backyard of the Burrow and started to go towards the little lake he liked so much. He walked for a couple minutes but stopped when passing through the place where the Weasleys always played quidditch. For a moment he was transported right back to the best summer of his life, the one he fell in love for the first time. He stopped because the one he fell for was there again, flying so gracefully it made Harry think she was born to fly around the world instead of walk through it. He loved that about her, how she was at home in the shy and the smallest smile surfaced in his expression from all those happy memories that scene unlocked.
Harry stood there on the edge of the clearing for at least 10 minutes without being noticed, just watching Ginny in her natural habitat. When she saw him she didn't stop abruptly or seem disturbed by it, maybe she already knew he was there and just didn't acknowledge him until she felt like it. That seemed like Ginny to Harry.
"Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna let me kick your ass for old times sake?" she asked descending until she was flowing right in front of him with a challenging look that she didn't realize he missed deeply until that moment.
Again he felt so shaken by her presence that he just stared like a fool until she sighed heavily and flew away back to the Burrow. Harry thought she had finally given up on him and started to turn back to his original destination but then heard her whistle at him and, without a warning, throw a broom at him. He caught it effortlessly, surprising even himself that his reflexes were still so fast. Maybe, like Ginny said the morning before, something of the old Harry had survived after all. He looked at the broom in his hand and was so happy to see that it was his Firebolt looking the same as always. For a moment he wanted to cry because it reminded him of his lost innocence but, instead, mounted it and went flying through air.
Harry and Ginny spent hours playing a makeshift game of quidditch and forgetting all of their problems. It was so easy for them to get lost in those little competitions and in flying as fast as they could. That afternoon was the happiest both of them had had in such a long time that it seemed to fly by. When the sun finally started to come down they descended to the ground and quietly sat laid down in the grass side by side. They stayed there enjoying the silence and trying to block out all the real life problems that awaited the moment they left that clearing.
The pair hadn't spoken much during the game, communicating mostly through unspoken agreements only they could have with each other. When Harry was on the run he had missed Ginny so much, her smile and the careless way she faced life, but mostly he missed the way she always understood him. That day had reminded him of the way a simple game had once made him aware of her for the first time and once again it had done the trick. He was suddenly so aware of her presence by his side, of her hand resting inches always from his and of her intoxicating scent filling his lungs.
"Ginny" he said, breaking the silence "why were you practicing today?"
"Do you promise not to tell anyone?" she said with a really silent voice and his heart fluttered with the rush of sharing a secret with her again
"Of course"
"The Harpies are going to audition for new players and I… I know it's probably a long shot and mum's gonna kill me if I don't finish my education, but I wanna try out" she said sounding so insecure it caught him by surprise, at the same time a smile lighted up his whole face.
"Ginny, that's fantastic!" he said, so enthusiastic to hear some good news for a change he sat down for a moment just to look right into her eyes and show how happy that made him "They would be fools not to want you in their team because you were definitely the best player on mine"
The sun was setting behind the tree as Harry sat there staring at Ginny, her hair a mess splattered in the grass as a smile started to slowly form into her face. They stayed like that for seconds that felt like ages in a world of their own, a world where a girl wanted to be a quidditch player even if there shouldn't have been space for hope in her heart and a boy loved her even more for that.
"I can help you" Harry said laying down again and breaking eye contact "I'd love to practice with you… but only if you want me to, of course"
"I'd love that, Harry" she said with the sweetest voice and, surprising even herself, took his hand in hers.
They laid there as the sun set in the horizon and after, just two kids shyly holding hands, faces flushed, hearts on their sleeves and, for the first time in a really long time, hope in a new future.
The moon was already high in the sky when Ginny and Harry went back to the Burrow and said a silent goodbye before she went up to her room. Harry decided to go into the kitchen to drink some water and eat something before going to bed but when he entered it he saw it wasn't empty. Ron was at the stove making tea as Hermione stood across the room staring at him. Harry noticed them first and took the scene in before disrupting it. He could have turned around and pretended not to see them with their love eyes and tired smiles, but he did see them and he was probably seeing them for the first time since the battle. That afternoon with Ginny had been magical and dreamlike but it had also reminded Harry of his heart, still beating in his chest despite him not wanting that. If he was going to survive this he needed her by his side, but he also needed Ron and Hermione.
"Can I join you?" Harry said, catching their attention.
Ron smiled from his place by the stove, looking really proud, and Hermione made a sound that was half a laugh, half a cry before walking up to him and throwing her arms around his neck. Harry would never not be surprised by her sudden hugs but he missed them and the knowing looks he exchanged with Ron as she held him made him feel like he was home, at last.