"What's the emergency?" I asked him.
"It's mauve." he told me as we rushed around the console as the TARDIS shuddered and shook.
"Mauve?" I asked him.
"The universally recognized color for danger." he explained.
"What happened to red?" I asked him.
"That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings. All those red alerts, all that dancing." he told me as he gestures to the object we were following through the Time Vortex on the monitor. "It's got a very basic flight computer - I've hacked in, slaved the TARDIS. Where it goes, we go."
"And how safe is it?" I asked him.
"Totally." he said as part of the console exploded. "Okay, reasonably. Should have said reasonably there. Oh, no, no, no, no, no! It's jumping time tracks - getting away from us." he told me.
"What exactly is this thing?" I asked him as I looked at something through the monitor.
"No idea." he told me grinning.
"And why are we chasing it?" I asked him.
"It's mauve and dangerous. And about 30 seconds from the center of London." he explained to me as he parked the TARDIS. When I walked out of the TARDIS we were in a London alleyway with some posters on the walls.
"Do you know how long we can knock around space without having to bump into Earth?" The Doctor asked me.
"Five days? Or is that just when we're out of milk?" I asked him smiling.
"Of all the species in all the universe and it has to come out of a cow." he said to himself.
"What can I say, I'm a sucker for some sort of normal." I said smiling.
"Must have come down somewhere quite close. Within a mile, anyway. And it can't have been more than a few weeks ago. Maybe a month." he told me.
"A month?! We were right behind it!" I reminded him.
"It was jumping time tracks all over the place, we're bound to be a little bit out. Do YOU wanna drive?" he asked me.
"Yeah... how much is 'a little'?" I asked him, ignoring his sarcastic question.
"A bit." he told me.
"Is that EXACTLY a bit?" I asked him.
"Ish." I rolled my eyes at him.
"What's the plan, then? Are you gonna do a scan for alien tech or something?" I asked him looking around.
"Ashlee, it hit the middle of London with a very loud bang. I'm gonna ask." he told me showing me his psychic paper.
"Doctor John Smith, Ministry of Astroids." I read off the paper.
"Psychic Paper, tells you-" he started telling me what he'd told me before but I interrupted him.
"Whatever you want it to tell me, I remember." I told him.
"Sorry." he put the paper away and I looked around.
"Not very scifi, is it? Just asking?" I asked as I watched him try get through a door.
"Door - music - people. What d'you think?" he asked me.
"I think you should do a scan for alien tech." I told him as he held his sonic screwdriver to the door. "Gimme some scifi! For once, would it kill ya?" I asked him but he just ignored me.
"Are you sure about that t-shirt?" he asked me. I looked down at my shirt that Rose had given me. It had a Union Jack on it.
"Too early to say. I'm taking it out for a spin." I told him as he continued trying to open the lock with his sonic screwdriver.
"Muuuu-mmy?" I turned quickly to find the source of the voice I'd just heard. "Muuuu-mmy?" I heard the Doctor crack the lock behind me as I continued my search.
"Come on if you're coming. Won't take a minute." I walked away from him towards the voice. It had sounded like a child.
"Muuuuumy?" I looked up and saw a child standing on a roof-top.
"Doctor? Doctor? There's a kid up there!" I called and looked behind me but didn't see him and I rushed to find a way onto the roof top. I ran up to the building and looked up at him. "Are you all right up there?" I asked.
"Muuuuum-my?" he called out and I ran up the steps that go up the side of the building. As I finished climbing the steps, I noticed they didn't to all the way to the roof top. I looked up to see the child standing on the edge of the roof. "Mummy?" the child called looking at me.
"Okay - hold on! Don't move!" I called up to him. Suddenly, a rope swung down next to me. I looked up along the rope to see it going to the rooftop. I took it and started climbing the rope to try and reach the child.
"Mummy..." I heaved my body up the rope wishing I'd done better in gym when they had us to this though. "Balloon!" I saw the rope come away from the side of the building with me still holding onto it. I looked up to see a barrage balloon which was what the rope was connected to. The rope I was still clinging to. The barrage balloon drifted as I clung to the rope for dear life.
"Doctor! Doctor! Doctor!" I called out but I knew he wouldn't hear me. I turned and watched the planes dropping bombs on London. "At least I know where and when I am. Too bad my sister is trying to kill me with her shirt choices." I said to myself as the planes zoomed all around me. I saw an explosion below me and my grip loosened on the rope. I tried holding on even more but my hands were sweating so bad that I lost my grip and fell screaming. Suddenly, a blue beam shot out from somewhere near Big Ben and a voice emitted from the source.
"Okay, okay, I've got you." the voice told me. I recognize a guy talking but who could have this tech during World War II?
"Who's got me? Who's got me, and you know... how?" I asked the voice scared.
"I'm just programming your descent pattern. Keep as still as you can and keep your hands and feet inside the light field." he told me.
"Descent pattern?" I asked the voice.
"Oh, and could you switch off your cellphone?" he asked me and I gave him multiple disbelieving noises. "No, seriously - it interferes with my instrument." he told me and I rolled my eyes.
"You know, no-one ever believes that." I told him as I shut off my mobile. "No one likes talking to strange voices either."
"Thank you. That's much better." he said.
"Oh, yeah, that's a real load off, that is. I'm hanging in the sky in the middle of a German air raid with the Union Jack across my chest, but hey! My mobile phone's off!" I said hysterically and the man laughed.
"Be with you in a moment." he said and I waited in midair for a moment. "Ready for you. Hold tight!"
"To what?!" I asked him.
"Fair point." he said and seconds later I was zooming feet first down the tunnel of blue light, screaming. The next moment, I fell and was caught by a man with brown hair and kind brown eyes. "I've got you!" he told me as I coughed. "You're fine, you're just fine. The tractor beam, it can scramble your head just a little." he told me. I stared at him as my coughing fit was over.
"Hello." I said breathless.
"Hello." he said looking me up and down.
"Hello." I said again and he raised his and nodded at me. "Sorry, that was hello twice there. Dull, but you know, thorough."
"Are you all right?" he asked me.
"Fine!" I told him as he set me back on my feet and I grinned at him. "Why, are you expecting me to faint or something?" I asked him.
"Well, you do look a little dizzy..." he told me.
"What about you? You're not even focused... oh boll-" My world went dark.
When I woke up I got up and tried to look around but it was too dark too see.
"Better now?" the man asked me.
"You got lights in here?" I asked him. The man turned them on for me so I could get a better look around.
"Hello." he said.
"Hello." I greeted.
"Hello." he said smiling at me.
"Let's not start that again." I told him smiling and he laughed.
"Okay." I felt a slight breeze on my stomach and pulled my shirt down self-consciously before walking to him.
"So, um... who're you supposed to be, then?" I asked him.
"Captain Jack Harkness. 133 Squadron Royal Airforce - American Volunteer." he said handing me a piece of paper that said his name, that he was single and worked out. I laughed a little.
"Liar." I told him and he paused. "This is psychic paper. It tells me whatever you want it to tell me." I told him.
"How do you know?" he asked me sitting back.
"Two things. One - a have a friend who uses this all the time." I told him.
"Ah." he said looking away.
"And two - you just handed me a piece of paper telling me you're single and you work out." I said handing it back to him. Jack leaned forward to take it from me.
"Tricky things, psychic paper." he told me.
"Yeah - can't let your mind wander when you're handing it over." I told him as he took it and he read it.
"Oh, you 'sort of' have a boyfriend but you consider yourself to be a free spirit and willing to try new things." he said reading the paper.
"Wha-" I laughed at him embarrassed.
"Actually, the word you use is 'adventurous'."
"No way..." I told him grinning.
"And another one - 'very'." He said and I stood up.
"Shall we uh... try and get along WITHOUT the psychic paper?" I asked him.
"That would be better, wouldn't it?" he asked also standing.
"Nice spaceship." I told him.
"Gets me around." he said as I looked around.
"Very... Scifi." I said running my hand over the ship. I looked him to try and see a sign of recognition.
"What?" he asked me.
"Guessing you're not a local boy, then." I said.
"A cell phone, a liquid crystal watch, and fabrics that won't be around for at least another two decades... guessing you're not a local girl." he told me looking at his watch. I moved myself behind him and sat in his pilot seat, examining the spaceship.
"Guessing right." I told him. I reached out to touch something but quickly withdrew my hand, gasping with pain. I looked at my palms and say burn marks on them. This would be the second time my hand's have gotten burned since I traveled with the Doctor. But I would never complain.
"Burn your hands on the rope?" Jack asked me.
"Yeah." I said looking out the window to see London. "We're parked in midair! Can't anyone down there see us?" I asked him.
"No. Can I have a look at your hands for a moment?" he asked me and I gave him a look.
"Why?" I asked him.
"Please?" he asked sitting close to me. I gave him a look and gave him my hands cautiously. He ran some sort of scanner over them.
"You can stop acting now. I know exactly who you are. I can spot a Time Agent a mile away." he told me.
"Time Agent?" I asked him confused by his words.
"I've been expecting one of you guys to show up. Though, not, I must say, by barrage balloon. Do you often travel that way?" He asked me sarcastically.
"Sometimes I get swept off my feet. By balloons." I told him smiling. Jack took off his scarf and wrapped it around my wrists. "What're you doing?" I asked him.
"Try to keep still." he told me. He finished binding my hands and leaned over me to switch a button over my head. He caught my eye, very aware of his proximity. There was a bleeping sound and I looked down at my hands to see what looked like tiny golden fireflies appear above the wounds on my hands. "Nanogenes. Sub-atomic robots. The air in here's full of them."
"Amazing." I said watching the nanogenes work their magic on the burns on my hands. Jack switched the button again, and they disappeared.
"They just repaired three layers of your skin." he told me as he unbound my wrists.
"Well, tell them thanks!" I told him laughing. He got up and smiled at me.
"We'll get down to business." he told me.
"Business?" I asked him. He turned to me and was holding a bottle of champagne.
"Shall we have a drink on the balcony?" he asked me. I smiled and looked at my lap as he pressed a button and stepped to the roof lower themselves into the spaceship. Jack started to go up the stairs when he called back to me. "Mind bringing up the glasses?" I looked for the glasses and took them up to the balcony. I ascended the steps holding the glasses unsteadily and looked around. We weren't standing on anything and in front of Big Ben.
"I'm standing on something..." I said looking down at the town below us. Jack chuckled and then took a device out of his pocket. He flicked a switch and his spaceship appeared under our feet. "Okay... you have an invisible spaceship..."
"Yeah..." he told me.
"Tethered up to Big Ben for some reason..." I said looking at the giant clock.
"First rule of active camouflage. Park somewhere you'll remember." he told me popping the cork out of the bottle with a loud bang. I whooped and he laughed while he filled our glasses.
We sat on the spaceship, drinking the champagne and laughing for what felt like hours when I stood up.
"You know, it's getting a bit late. I should really be getting back." I said looking down at him.
"We're discussing business." he told me.
"This isn't business. This is champagne." I told him smiling and holding my glass up.
"I try never to discuss business with a clear head." he told me standing. I moved back a little and he walked to me. "Are you travelling alone? Are you authorized to negotiate with me?" he asked, suddenly serious.
"What would we be negotiating?" I asked him.
"I have something for the Time Agency. Something they'd like to buy. Are you in power to make payment?" he asked again.
"Well, I should talk to my... companion." I told him. The Doctor would know more about whatever he wanted to sell then I would.
"Companion?" he asked me.
"Yeah, I should really be getting back to him." I told him.
"Him?" he asked and I laughed.
"Do you have the time?" I asked. Jack cleared his throat and took the device out of his pocket again. He flicked a switch and Big Ben chimed right next to us. "Okay, that was flash." I said laughing. "That was on the flash side." He moved closer to me and placed his hand on my waist.
"So... when you say 'companion', just how disappointed should I be?" he asked me, flirting. I smiled at him and shook my head.
"Very." his smile fell a little and I looked around us. "So we're standing in midair."
"Mm-hm."
"On a spaceship... during a German air raid... do you really think now's a good time to be coming on to me instead of us talking business?" I asked him. Jack raised my hands and placed his lips on them then smiled.
"Perhaps not." he said before walking away.
"Sorry, but you brought me here to talk business, not flirt." I reminded him.
"Do you like Glenn Miller?" he asked me suddenly, turning back my way. He pointed the device over his shoulder, and 'Moonlight Serenade' played. He walked back to me and we began to slow dance. "It's 1941. The height of the London Blitz. The height of the German Bombing Campaign. And something else has fallen on London - a fully equipped Chula Warship. The last one in existence..." I placed my head on his shoulder thinking of the Doctor. He would probably never dance with me so I decided to enjoy this feeling. "... armed to the teeth." he drew back slightly so we could look at each other properly. "And I know where it is. Because I parked it." I laughed.
"Of course you did." I said.
"If the Agency can name the right price, I can get it for you. But in two hours, a German bomb is gonna fall on it and destroy it forever." he said looking at me seriously. "That's the deadline. That's the deal. And now, shall we discuss payment?"
"Do you know what I think?" I asked him.
"What?" he asked me.
"I think we need to find my companion." I told him.
"Two hours, the bomb falls. There'll be nothing left but dust and a crater." he told me.
"Promises, promises..." I told him. The Doctor and I usually were traveling looking for calm places but that never happened and we probably would both be bored if something exciting didn't happen.
"Are you listening to any of this?" he asked me.
"You used to be a Time Agent, now you're some kind of free lancer." I told him.
"Well, that's a little harsh." he told me pulling me closer. "I like to think of myself as a criminal."
"I bet you do!" I told him laughing.
"So, this companion of yours - does he handle the business?" he asked me.
"Well, I delegate a lot of that to him, yeah." I said, lying through my teeth.
"Well, maybe we should go find him." he suggested and I raised my eyebrows at him.
"And how're you gonna do that?" I asked.
"Easy. I'll do a scan for alien tech." he told me using the device on his wrist.
"Finally, a bit more like the movies." I said to myself smiling.
"Hello?" Jack called into the hospital we'd found the Doctor's sonic screwdriver in.
"Hello?" I called.
"Hello?" I saw the Doctor come into the corridor we were in and walk towards us.
"Good evening. Hope I'm not interrupting - Jack Harkness." Jack said shaking the Doctor's hand. "I've been hearing all about you on the way over."
"He knows. I had to tell him about us being Time Agents." I told the Doctor making sure he got the point we had to play pretending. The Doctor nodded at me then looked back to Jack.
"And it's a real pleasure to meet you, Mr. Smith." Jack pat the Doctor heartily on the shoulder and walked off, leaving the Doctor looking rather bemused at me.
"Mr. Smith?" he asked me.
"What was I supposed to say, you don't have a name! Don't you ever get tired of 'Doctor'?" I asked him.
"Nine centuries in, I'm coping. Where've you been? We're in the middle of a London Blitz, it's not a good time for a stroll." he told me.
"Who's strolling? I went by barrage balloon. Only way to see an air raid." I told him walking in the same direction Jack went.
"What?!" he asked me worry filling his voice.
"Listen, what's a Chula warship?" I asked him and I heard him stop walking.
"Chula?" he asked me.
I watched from next to the Doctor as Jack scanned one of the bodies lying on a bed.
"This just isn't possible. How could this happen?" Jack asked the Doctor.
"What kind of Chula ship landed here?" The Doctor asked him.
"What?" Jack asked him.
"He said it was a warship. He stole it. Parked it somewhere out there, somewhere a bomb's gonna fall on it - unless WE make him an offer." I told him.
"What kind of warship?" the Doctor asked.
"Does it matter? It's got nothing to do with this!" Jack said getting agitated.
"This started at the bomb site. It's got EVERYTHING to do with it. What kind of warship?" The Doctor asked angrily.
"An ambulance!" Jack told us going to turn on his wrist device. "Look." he showed us a hologram of the ship. "That's what you chased through the Time Vortex. It's space junk. I wanted to kid you it was valuable. It's empty. I made sure of it. Nothing but a shell. I threw it at you. Saw your time travel vehicle - love the retro look, by the way, nice panels - threw you the bait-"
"Bait?" I asked him.
"I wanted to sell it to you and then destroy it before you found out it was junk." Jack told us.
"You said it was a WAR ship." I reminded him.
"They have ambulances in wars." Jack said walking away from us, annoyed. "It was a con. I was conning you - that's what I am, I'm a con man. I thought you were Time Agents but you're not, are you?"
"Just a couple more free-lancers." I told him.
"Ahh... should've known. The way you guys are blending in with the local color - I mean, Flag Girl was bad enough, but U-Boat Captain?" Jack asked us. I looked down at my shirt then at the Doctor. "Anyway... whatever's happening here has got NOTHING to do with that ship."
"What IS happening here, Doctor?" I asked looking at the bodies.
"Human DNA's being rewritten... by an idiot." he told me and I looked back at him.
"What d'you mean?" I asked moving to the closest body.
"I dunno - some kind of virus. It's converting human beings into these things." he said nodding at the bodies. "But why? What's the point?" he asked nobody in particular. I bent over one of the bodies, examining it when suddenly, it sit up. I jumped backwards as all the others did the same. They all were calling for one person.
"Mummy?"
"What's happening?" I asked him.
"I don't know." The Doctor told me as the gas-mask people all got out of bed. The Doctor, Jack and I all got to a clear portion of the wall. The Doctor pushed me behind him and Jack, who was slao behind the Doctor pushed me behind him so I was leaning on the wall.
"Don't let them touch you." The Doctor told us.
"What happens if they touch us?" I asked him.
"You're looking at it." he told me. They were all still chanting 'mummy' as they continued to back us against the wall.
Next Time on the Doctor's Girl:
"I don't know what's happening here, but believe me - I had nothing to do with it." Jack told him.
"I'll tell you-You forgot to set your alarm clock. It's volcano day." The Doctor told him. We all fell into a messy heap on the floor below where we'd been standing.
"Okay, that door should hold it for a bit." the Doctor told us.
"The door?! The WALL didn't stop it!" Jack told him.
"Go on, ask me anything. I'm on FIRE!" he said grinning.
"You've got the moves?" I asked him. and he looked back at me. "Show me your moves." I told him.
"The world doesn't end 'cos the Doctor dances." I told him.
"Stay back!" The Doctor called to them. The controls then exploded with sparks and we all jumped back as an alarm went off.
"Doctor!"
"Captain, secure those gates!" The Doctor told him.
"Why?" Jack asked him.
"Just do it!" The Doctor ordered. "All that weapons tech in the hands of a hysterical four year old - looking for his mummy. And NOTHING in the world can stop it!" The Doctor told us, his voice had risen almost shouting at at us. Plains soared around us, dropping bombs everywhere.