Chapter 6: Sandy Jareau's Opinion of JJ's Love Life

JJ and Reid spent two months going out on dates in between cases. One evening after a case, when JJ got home, her mother, Sandy was visiting for the week. Henry was taking a nap.

"I'm home, mom," said JJ. "Where's Henry?"

"He's taking a nap in his room," answered Sandy. "Is Spencer with you?"

"No," answered JJ. "Spence went home tonight. Why?"

"Oh, I was wondering if you two were seeing each other tonight," said Sandy.

"No," answered JJ. "Not tonight, mom."

Sandy sighed.

"Why?" asked JJ. What's wrong?"

"I think you're making the same mistake again, Jennifer," said Sandy. "Just like you did with Will."

"What mistake did I make with Will, mom?" asked JJ.

"You've strung him along for years, JJ," answered Sandy. "You've snuck over to New Orleans on weekends just to be with him. Then, you've made a baby with him, and yet you've never married him!"

"Mom," said JJ. "I didn't string Will along! I just never planned on becoming pregnant."

'I know that," said Sandy. "You just wanted to work your way up in the FBI! You had plenty of plans for your career future. But, you had no plans for your personal future! No falling in love, no husband and no children!"

JJ said, "Mom, Will chose to move to DC to be here for our son because he loved both of us."

"Yes," said Sandy. "And, he's also proposed to you, but you've never said, 'Yes' to him!"

"And now, I will regret that for the rest of my life," said JJ.

"How come you've never gotten married?" asked Sandy. "You used to look at Will the same way I used to look at your father."

"If you want the truth," answered JJ. "I was afraid if we had gotten married, we would have ended up like you and dad did. Hating each other someday, then getting divorced and then ending up all alone!"

"Oh, Jennifer," said Sandy. "Every marriage is different. If you really loved Will, you would have married him when he first proposed to you! Don't make this about me and your father!"

"Boys marry people like their mothers," said JJ. "And, girls marry people like their fathers."

"Will didn't run away from his responsibility as a dad like your father did, JJ," said Sandy. "He was a part of Henry's life until the day he died! In the end, Will was nothing like your father!"

"No, he wasn't," admitted JJ. "But, I've witnessed more divorces than just you and dad, mom. During cases, I've seen more married couples breaking up than I want to admit. My boss, Hotch's wife, Haley had divorced him. Our senior agent, Rossi has been divorced three different times. Spence told me that his father walked out on him and his mother when he was only 8 years old. Marriages aren't forever anymore. Married couples don't stay in love and live happily ever after anymore. I was just afraid that if I had gotten married that someday I would end up divorced, alone and unwanted."

"Oh," said Sandy. "You mean like me? Well, JJ, I might not have 'lived happily ever after' after I've married your father, but, because I once loved him, I had you and Roz! And now, we both have Henry! I took a chance at commitment! And, as for you, you ended up alone, anyway! Some bank robbers have killed Will!"

"Thanks for reminding me, mom," tearfully said JJ. "And, how am I stringing Spence along?"

"After Will's funeral," answered Sandy. "Spencer was there for you above everybody else. And, all of a sudden, you stopped letting him come over to be there for you. You've pushed him away!"

"I was afraid that I was becoming too dependent on him," said JJ. "I needed to get back up on my own two feet."

"No," said Sandy. "That's what you keep telling yourself to justify your actions. But, that's not the truth!"

"All right, mom," said JJ. "What is the truth?"

"You love him," answered Sandy. "And, that really scares you! Just like you loving Will really scared you! You might be dating Spencer now, but sooner or later you will find a way to push him out of your life! Because having a commitment is your worst fear!"

"Yes, mom," admitted JJ. "I do love Spence. But, I don't want him out of my life! After Spence was recently shot, I've realized that I didn't want to live my life without him in it! Yes, maybe I am afraid of commitment, but my love for Spence is different than my love for Will was!"

"If you become pregnant again," said Sandy. "Will Spence just move in with you, or will you marry him?"

JJ was silent.

"That's what I thought," said Sandy. "You just won't take a chance at commitment! You are stringing him along! You may think you're avoiding becoming alone someday, but I think you're just making yourself a smoother road for becoming alone someday!

Sandy walked out of the room angry.

"Mom..." cried JJ.

JJ spent the whole night crying in her bed. The following morning, Sandy knocked on JJ's bedroom door.

"Come in," said JJ.

The door opened and Sandy walked in.

"I...could hear you crying in here most of the night," said Sandy.

"While I was growing up," said JJ. "I could hear you crying in your room every night since dad left us."

"I'm sorry," said Sandy. "I shouldn't have verbally attacked you the way I did last night."

"I'm sorry, too, mom," said JJ. "I shouldn't have verbally attacked you, either. Why is it we always argue whenever we get together?"

"Because we've lost so much," answered Sandy. "We've both lost Roz and your second baby. I've lost your father and you've lost Will."

"Yeah," said JJ. "But, you were right. Maybe I did string Will along before. And, I did plan a long career future, but no future with a husband or kids. I was really scared when I first found out I was pregnant. But, Henry is the love of my life. I've never regretted having him. And, I see a lot of Will in him."

"Would you have ever married Will?" asked Sandy.

"Believe it or not," answered JJ. "After those bank robbers shot Will, I had decided to finally say, 'Yes' to his marriage proposal. But, he died before I could tell him that."

"Losing Will and your baby has made you angry and bitter," said Sandy. "Just like me losing your father and Rosalyn has made me angry and bitter."

"What are we going to do about it?" asked JJ.

"First," said Sandy. "We both need to find other outlets to throw our anger out on. I don't want to lose my only child from my acting so bitter towards her."

"Well," smiled JJ. "I have a punching bag at the Bureau gym that I can use as an outlet!"

Sandy laughed.

"And, you were right about Spence too, mom," admitted JJ. "We've both always secretly loved each other. Even before I've met Will. And, after Will's murder, I did push Spence away. And then, he had found love with another girl."

"Another girl?" asked Sandy.

"Maeve Donavan," said JJ. "That broke my heart. It made me realize that I've broken Spence's heart when he found out that I was pregnant with Will's baby. I was going to do the same thing for Spence and Maeve that he did for me and Will. Support his new romantic relationship. But then, a stalker had killed Maeve right in front of Spence and our whole team."

Sandy gasped.

JJ continued, "I've decided to stop pushing Spence away and to instead help him with his grieving process. And, to let him help me again with my grieving process. We've both recently told each other that we love each other. And, we have been working on spending more time with each other. And, I do want to marry him, mom."

"Good," said Sandy. "Nobody else makes you laugh as much as Spencer does. I see the way you glow every time you hug him. And, the way you smile just watching him playing with Henry. I think he could make you both very happy. I don't want to hear you crying all night anymore. And, I don't want my past mistakes to keep you from being happy with Spencer. Marriages might not be forever anymore, but, I want to see you happy, Jennifer."

"Thank you, mom," smiled JJ.

Sandy and JJ hugged each other.