Shock shot like lightning through Dawnheart's veins. He stood frozen to the spot. He and Slatefang stared at each other silently. The battle seemed far away, even though it was only just beyond a few boulders and out of sight.
"Slatefang, I-" Dawnheart managed to say. He took another step back and stumbled as the rocks under his back paws shifted.
Slatefang stared him down. His eyes glittered in the moonlight for a moment before he dropped his head and let them fall into shadow.
"You let him go. You had him and you let him go." He said. His voice was cold and low. It shook slightly.
"He was sick. He couldn't fight." Dawnheart said. He could only say the first thing that came to his mind.
Slatefang shook his head roughly. "He killed her." He lifted his head. His eyes were startlingly wild. His pupils flexed from fully round to just a claw slit despite the heavy darkness.
Dawnheart took a step back. He had never been afraid of Slatefang. He had never had a reason to be. But this was terrifying. Dawnheart was at once acutely aware of the strength in Slatefang's shoulder muscles and the fury in his eyes.
Dawnheart forced himself to take a deep breath. This was Slatefang. He could reason with this cat. He opened his dry mouth, trying to think of something to say. He was tired of saying it had been an accident. The words felt hollow now. He needed something more personal, something that would get through to Slatefang.
"Spottedfur died keeping her promise. That's all she ever wanted to do." Dawnheart felt as though he was trying to convince himself as well as Slatefang.
Slatefang's ears twitched. An unnatural stillness fell over his body as Dawnheart continued to talk in a shaky voice.
"What happened to her was an accident." It was true, however hollow it felt to say. He let his voice lose its spike of fear as Slatefang's shoulder fur began to lie flat again.
Dawnheart swallowed. "It was no cat's fault."
Slatefang's eyes widened and his pupils narrowed. His nostrils flared and he bore his teeth in a terrible snarl. "'No cat's fault?!'" he spat. He took an aggressive step towards Dawnheart, who found that his only means of retreat was into the freezing shallows of the river.
"I didn't mean-"
"What about Cougarstar? What about Twistedroot, who led the attack on an elder queen?" Slatefang splashed down into the water with Dawnheart, forcing Dawnheart to face him.
"What about you?" Slatefang hissed.
Guilt twisted in Dawnheart's belly. He squeezed his eyes shut so he didn't have to see the accusation in Slatefang's face. Instead he saw Spottedfur lying dead on the riverbank.
Slatefang was right. Dawnheart hadn't been with her. He could have prevented it. He-
A cry cracked through the air. "CedarClan! Retreat!"
Dawnheart's eyes shot open. What?
Slatefang had turned and was facing the direction of the unseen battle with ears pricked and body frozen. Dawnheart waited. He didn't know what to expect.
After a moment of stillness, Dawnheart made to sidestep away from his unmoving Clanmate.
Slatefang whipped around. Dawnheart froze, terror rooting his paws to the spot. But Slatefang had changed. His eyes were wide, but with confusion. He looked at Dawnheart as if he had only just seen him.
"What are you doing?" He snapped. "The Clan needs us!" He turned, sped away up the bank, and disappeared behind the rocks.
Dawnheart stood alone in the shallows of the river. His heart was pounding against his ribs and his throat was tight with fear and grief. He felt the shock starting to set in; a creeping numbness climbing his legs and spine and restricting his lungs.
That couldn't happen right now. His Clan needed him. He needed to move. He couldn't feel right now, he just had to move.
With a tremendous effort, Dawnheart hauled himself out of the water and up the bank. His numb paws carried him forward much faster than he anticipated, and he was at the battle's edge within the span of a single harried breath.
The battle's tide had indeed turned. CedarClan was being driven back towards the shadowy tree line. The cats scrambled to form a line of defense against their surging enemy.
Blizzardstar stood at the center of the faltering line of warriors. Blood spattered the leader's white pelt and he had a gash across his nose. His strikes were still strong however and as Dawnheart watched, his leader landed a heavy blow that sent a WillowClan warrior flying back into his Clanmates.
Dawnheart skidded to a halt across the churned-up snow. His way was blocked by WillowClan reinforcements. There was no way he could fight his way through on his own. Frustrated, he backed up, unwilling to be seen.
There was a loud screech and Slatefang came barreling out of nowhere. Dawnheart whirled around, ready to be attacked, but his Clanmate shot past him and launched himself at the nearest WillowClan cat. The warrior had no time to react and was flattened by Slatefang's superior weight.
Dawnheart reeled for a moment at the brazen act. Then he realized the chaos it had caused. The WillowClan line had been broken by a single cat and they were falling over themselves like panicking lemmings trying to attack. This was CedarClan's chance.
"CedarClan, forward!" Blizzardstar bellowed.
Dawnheart flung himself forward and into the fight, a new surge of numb resolve making his paws shake. He landed beside Slatefang and grasped a tortoiseshell she-cat in his claws. She shrieked and thrashed but Dawnheart had the advantage of surprise and confusion. He pummeled the she-cat's spine with his back paws until she squealed and shook him off. Dawnheart rolled to his paws as she sped away.
Slatefang was shaking another WillowClan warrior by the scruff. A ginger tabby was rearing to swipe at Slatefang in retaliation but Dawnheart was able to dart around his Clanmate to block the blow. The tabby reacted quickly and slashed Dawnheart across the face.
Pain burned through Dawnheart's cheek and he faltered. Blood splashed into his eyes and he squeezed them shut, yowling. He stumbled, blind, and tried to get away from his attacker. Another heavy blow to his shoulder told him he had been unsuccessful. He fell to the cold ground and raised his forepaws to shield himself from the next blow. The expected attack never came.
Dawnheart rubbed at his eyes furiously until he was able to open them again. What he saw made his heart leap.
Whiteshade had come to intercept Dawnheart's attacker. The white warrior was pinning the ginger tom to the ground. Slatefang was grappling with a new opponent. In fact, as Dawnheart looked around he saw his Clanmates falling on the WillowClan invaders with renewed vigor.
Dawnheart struggled to his feet, ready to help, but his shoulder screamed in pain. He fell to the side, unable to stand.
He couldn't just lie here while his Clanmates fought. He tried to force himself up but his leg was shaking too hard. He slumped back to the ground and stared helplessly towards the fight.
To his surprise his Clanmates were chasing off the WillowClan warriors. Whiteshade was pacing back and forth as Slatefang headed the ginger warrior off. Bewildered, Dawnheart looked around. Had the battle been won?
A high-pitched shriek pierced the night air.
"Blizzardstar!"
Dawnheart's heart skipped a beat. Whiteshade whirled around and sped off into the diminishing crowd of cats. Slatefang skidded to a halt and looked over his bristling shoulder fur. Dawnheart struggled to rise.
Dawnheart forced himself to his feet. The pain in his shoulder had dulled and his leg had stopped shaking. He hurriedly limped his way to a small cluster of cats at the center of the clearing. WillowClan warriors were breaking away from the group and fleeing. CedarClan cats were shoving each other aside trying to see what was happening.
Finally, Dawnheart drew close enough to see but his line of sight was blocked by a gray tabby WillowClan cat. As Dawnheart drew closer the cat moved aside and Dawnheart stopped dead.
Cougarstar and Owlears, her deputy, were standing over Blizzardstar's ragged body. His sides were still. Scarlet blood seeped out from under his large head and soaked the snow around him. It was tinged silver in the moonlight.
Dawnheart froze. The freezing air stilled in his chest. No…
The chaos was calming and cats were beginning to realize what had happened. Whiteshade shoved his way through the crowd and jumped to his leader's side. Kestrelfeather was yowling wildly as he tried to reach Blizzardstar but was blocked by several WillowClan cats. Falconstorm and Blackmoth arrived beside Dawnheart, blood-spattered but on their feet.
"What's happening?" Blackmoth demanded of Dawnheart.
Dawnheart could only gesture weakly. Blackmoth took in the scene and gasped. She stepped back, shocked. Her green eyes rounded with horror.
Dawnheart refocused his gaze on Blizzardstar's body. Any moment now his flank would rise with breath again as his next life entered him. Any moment.
There. He thought with relief as his leader's white flank shook with a trembling breath. He's going to be – His thought was cut off as Cougarstar raised a blood-soaked paw into the air. Her claws glinted in the light of Silverpelt.
Time slowed down for Dawnheart as he realized what she was about to do. Before he could move, three warriors shot out of the crowd and slammed into the WillowClan leader.
Chaos erupted.
Dawnheart was shoved to the side as cats from both Clans surged forward to protect their own. Blackmoth leapt with a snarl, her claws extended towards Owlears. Dawnheart tried to follow her but his injured shoulder was hit by a passing warrior and fresh pain shot up his leg.
Shrieks and yowls filled the air once again as warriors began to fight in earnest once more. Dawnheart tried to see what was happening but the swirling mass of multicolored pelts made it impossible.
"Stop!" The booming command rose up above the turmoil.
As quickly as the fight had started, it ended. Warriors jumped off one another and stepped back in line with their own. Blood spattered the gritty snow and there wasn't a cat in sight without wounds. The crowd parted and Dawnheart was able to see again.
Blizzardstar was standing in a pool of his own blood. A ragged wound on his neck still dripped with the thick liquid. His shoulders were sunken and there was a slight unsteadiness to his posture, but his eyes gleamed with strength.
Dawnheart felt another rush of relief.
Until his gaze dropped down to the twisted forms at Blizzardstar's paws.
Two warriors lay there, still entangled in each other's claws. More blood was spreading through the snow around them. Their eyes stared sightlessly at the sky. One pair was green. So familiarly green.
"No!" Dawnheart shrieked. He found himself at the side of his former mentor in less than a heartbeat. His shoulder didn't hurt anymore. He couldn't feel anything anymore. He stared down at Blackmoth's ruffled black pelt. It was crisscrossed with wounds that seeped beads of blood. He was dully aware of another cry of anguish from the crowd.
Not again. StarClan, please not again! Dawnheart thought.
The teeth of the WillowClan deputy were buried in Blackmoth's neck and the CedarClan warrior's claws were firmly hooked in her killer's throat. They had killed each other so suddenly. So easily.
"Owlears!" Cougarstar yowled. Dawnheart looked up to see the WillowClan leader standing over her deputy, no, her sister's, body. Her eyes were wide and horrified. She lunged forward and grasped her littermate's scruff in her jaws and hauled her body away from Blackmoth's. The black warrior's claws were still stuck fast but the strength of Cougarstar's yank ripped them free. A thick trail of blood and fur followed Owlears' body. Her tufted ears were coated in it. Dawnheart felt sick.
"You have lost, Cougarstar." Blizzardstar rumbled, breaking the stunned silence.
The WillowClan leader crouched over her dead deputy and looked up at her rival. Her pale eyes glinted with hatred.
"I will take the life of your deputy as payment for your crimes against my Clan." Blizzardstar continued. He narrowed his dark eyes. "Now get out."
Cougarstar lashed her tail.
"WillowClan is not beaten." She hissed. The WillowClan leader stood up and stared Blizzardstar down. She drew her lips back in a snarl and waved her tail in a dramatic arc. Nothing happened. Blizzardstar flicked an ear.
Cougarstar whipped her head around and stared at her Clan. The WillowClan warriors were standing behind their leader, bloody and exhausted. Many looked on with dull, grief-stricken eyes.
"We can still fight!" Cougarstar yowled at her cats. A few extended their claws hesitantly.
"Cougarstar." A large white tom stepped forward. His amber eyes passed over the body of his deputy and Dawnheart could see the pain there. "Owlears would not want more death. We can still retreat and retain our honor." He said softly.
Cougarstar's eyes widened with wild fury.
"Cowards!" she spat. "All of you!"
The silence of the other cats was deafening. Even the CedarClan warriors were looking away from the scene. The WillowClan warriors hung their heads in either shame or exhaustion; Dawnheart couldn't tell. Blizzardstar stepped forward.
"Fogpelt is wise. Listen to him, and leave with your honor." He said.
Cougarstar whirled to face the other leader. For a moment Dawnheart was sure she was going to leap at him. Instead, the brown she-cat grasped her sister's scruff and began hauling the body away. Her warriors parted down the middle to let her pass. Once she was clear of them, they followed her down the sloped bank. Their tails dragged in the snow and blood smeared the ground in their wake.
"Falconstorm, Talonscore. Follow them and make sure they cross the crossing-stones." Blizzardstar said quietly. The two warriors nodded and took off, careful to keep their distance.
Dawnheart watched, numb, as the WillowClan invasion simply left CedarClan territory.
He looked down at the body at his paws. Blackmoth's face was twisted in an angry snarl. Her normally bright and kind eyes were glazed over and gazing at the sky. None of her spark was left. She was gone.
Memories of Spottedfur flooded his mind. If he had been uninjured, he could have leapt to his leader's defense and helped. If he hadn't let Wingshadow go he could've been there to fight and keep the WillowClan warriors back. If he had been a better warrior, she would be alive. Both of them would be alive.
"She died a warrior's death." Blizzardstar mewed from over Dawnheart's shoulder. His voice shook slightly. Dawnheart looked up at his leader. There was stark grief in the great cat's eyes. An icy claw of pain stabbed at Dawnheart's chest. The look on Blizzardstar's face made the thing so much more real.
Dawnheart closed his eyes and buried his nose into Blackmoth's pelt. To his horror it was already growing cold. A low groan of grief escaped his jaws. Pain from his wounds washed over him. A ball of fear that had been clenching in his chest released and spread exhaustion through his body.
. . .
Dawnheart limped into camp as the sky began to gray with the approaching sunrise. The rest of the battle patrol streamed into the clearing around him. Feeling hollow, Dawnheart watched as Crowpaw and Talonscore shuffled by. Blackmoth's limp body hung between them.
The battle worn cats padded slowly to the center of the clearing where the cats left to guard the camp were waiting. Ferntail bounded up to meet her mate and sons. Shadowgrove rushed to Blizzardstar's side and began speaking to him in a low voice. Dawnheart stopped and watched Blackmoth's bearers lay her body down on the snow-cleared ground.
He looked up from Blackmoth's body and gazed at his Clan. They were wounded and thin. Half of them weren't even here in the clearing. They were sick in Plumleaf's den. And where were Heronpaw and Petalpaw?
What was happening to them?
And what had happened to Slatefang?
Fearful, Dawnheart looked around. Slatefang was standing off to the side away from his Clanmates. He was staring at Blackmoth's body with his face mostly hidden in shadow. As dawnheart watched, Cherrynose hurried up to him and he waved her away with a distracted gesture. After a moment he turned and hurried across the camp to the warrior's den. Cherrynose was left looking worried and disappointed.
Dawnheart stood alone in the center of the clearing. He fixed his tired gaze on the lump of bloodstained black fur that lay in the center of the clearing. A swath of pale gray fur blocked his sight.
"You need treatment." Plumleaf said as she approached. Her jaws were stuffed with herbs. He let Plumleaf look him over; all the while watching Blackmoth from over the medicine cat's shoulder. He hardly felt the sting of the marigold juice and the cooling soothe of the dock pulp on his cuts.
"I want to see that shoulder wound tomorrow." Plumleaf said as she finished patting cobwebs over the injury. With that she hurried off to the next warrior. Every cat was wounded. The medicine cat had her work cut out for her.
Before Dawnheart could reach Blackmoth there was a loud call from the front of the crowd. Dawnheart turned slowly, feeling increasingly distraught. What now?
Whiteshade was calling for attention while Blizzardstar heaved himself onto his perch. Dawnheart sat down with a soft thump.
"CedarClan is victorious once more." Blizzardstar began in a hoarse voice. There was a half-hearted cheer among the battle-weathered cats. Dawnheart glanced at Blackmoth's body.
"I thank you for your courage and your resolve. I also thank Blackmoth for her noble sacrifice. She died a warrior's death and we honor her." The large white cat bowed his head and the cats fell silent. After a moment Blizzardstar continued. "Each one of you fought like warriors tonight, even the apprentices. I believe it is time to honor Hawkpaw and Crowpaw with names that reflect this."
Gasps and murmurs of excitement rippled through the crowd. Every head turned to face the two apprentices and their mentors who sat close to where Dawnheart was sitting. Hawkpaw was gazing up at his leader with wide eyes but he kept his composure. Crowpaw's expression was hard to read.
"Come forward." Blizzardstar commanded.
The littermates rose to their paws. Crowpaw began padding towards his leader but Hawkpaw hesitated.
"Blizzardstar, if I may." The young tabby called. Every cat fell silent. Crowpaw whirled on his brother. Blizzardstar flicked an ear and Swiftwing's tail fluffed out. Hawkpaw only had eyes for the CedarClan leader. "I want to wait until all of my Clanmates can be here." Hawkpaw continued. More murmurs met this pronouncement. The apprentice turned to his brother. "It feels wrong to do this without Heronpaw or Morningpaw." He said in a quieter voice.
"Heronpaw made his choice." Crowpaw shot back in a low snarl. Dawnheart was shocked to hear the coldness in the black apprentice's voice.
"I'm waiting." Hawkpaw said firmly. He looked back up at Blizzardstar. "May I?" he added, hastily bowing his head.
Blizzardstar considered the apprentice for a moment and then nodded.
"If that is what you wish." He said.
"I don't wish that." Crowpaw said, stepping forward. "The sooner I am a warrior the sooner I can help keep the Clan safe."
Blizzardstar nodded. "Then come forward."
The Clan watched in silence as Crowpaw walked up to the front of the crowd. Blizzardstar jumped down from his branch and faced the black tom. Dawnheart listened, worried, as Blizzardstar began the ceremony. What had Crowpaw meant by Heronpaw 'making a choice'? Did he know where his brother was?
"Crowpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?" Blizzardstar was saying.
"I do." Crowpaw answered.
Blizzardstar paused and looked down into Crowpaw's face. Dawnheart couldn't see Crowpaw's expression as his back was turned to the Clan.
Dawnheart let his mind fuzz during the next part of the ceremony. He stared at Crowpaw's black fur and tried to clear his mind of every thought.
"From this moment on you will be known as Crowfrost. StarClan honors your acuity and commitment and we welcome you as a full warrior of CedarClan." Blizzardstar rested his head on Crowfrost's head and the new warrior licked his leader's shoulder.
"Crowfrost! Crowfrost!" The Clan began to chant. Crowfrost turned and lifted his muzzle to the sky.
"Blackmoth!" He yowled. The chant changed.
"Crowfrost! Blackmoth!"
Dawnheart felt a tickle of appreciation for the new warrior. He had given up some of his own glory to honor his fallen Clanmate.
Ferntail rushed up to her son and covered him in licks. Falconstorm followed more slowly but he gave Crowfrost an approving nod. Talonscore limped up to his former apprentice and licked his ear. Hawkpaw didn't move. He sat next to his mentor and glared at his brother.
Dawnheart briefly considered talking to the apprentice but he really just wanted to sit with Blackmoth. He rose to shaky paws and limped over to her. He sat and began cleaning her pelt. The taste of blood and death was too familiar. He shouldn't have to be doing this again so soon.
Swiftwing, Blackmoth's littermate, settled beside Dawnheart. As the Clan meeting broke up, more cats came too. Almost every cat who had seen Blackmoth's sacrifice came to groom her. Plumleaf and the elders arrived to lick fragrant herbs into her the black warrior's pelt.
As Dawnheart groomed his dead mentor and friend, his head was filled with thoughts of Spottedfur, Lilypool, and Sootcloud. He closed his eyes and breathed deep of the scent of death. His Clanmates pressed in on him from every side.
He still felt totally alone.