Hey, do you ever just do nothing?

Your mind's focus only fading in and out of nearby conversations while you twiddle your thumbs or have one thumb up your ass metaphorically or otherwise, and it hits you-a faint buzzing above. The fluorescent tubes above you like mosquitoes out of reach.

We were all ganged up- hanging out on the bleachers in the gymnasium after school. I had overheard someone bitching that some assholes all cracked out on cheesing wrecked a few of the stores at the mall.

Which was perfectly fine with, who fucking hangs out at the mall? Not me, that's for sure. Though everyone seemed pretty bummed in hindsight, given it was one of the few decent places in town.

Empty sleeves hanging loosely at my sides and eyes shut to the world around me. I toyed with the idea of holding my breath; keeping my lips sealed tight and holding firm, air all packed in my lungs and allowing the capillaries within to swell with blood and nowhere to go. Soon my eyes would pop out of the sockets and ears would pop simultaneously.

Then with luck, my heart would stop and I'd wake up the next day. I could joke and brag about how I was literally bored to death.

Naw, I wouldn't do that. Kyle didn't think it was funny the first time.

Craig could care less. He sat next to me with earbuds jammed into his ears and nodding along to whatever. We sat second to last bench while the rest of them sat closer to the court-Clyde, Tweek, Stan, Kyle, Jimmy, Bebe, Butters, Cartman, and Token; Last of all fucking staring at me.

It made me a little bit skittish, not going to lie. It wasn't like he never broke eye contact, but whenever Bebe went off on a tangent he would turn to Craig and I.

I kept fidgeting with my hood while Craig just played with his phone.

Every now and then Bebe would steal his attention back, and thank christ. Nonetheless, Black would turn back with almost quick glaring glances. I couldn't figure out what was up with him, then I gave up and turned to Craig.

I jabbed at his shoulder, shaking him out of his world to hopefully join me in boredom. "Just gonna leave me here with my thoughts huh?" I asked.

Craig rolled his eyes, pulling an earbud free. "You'd have to have them first."

"Oh, you slay me." I fake a gasp. "Wish everyone smoked, or at least Kyle, that way we could all just go to Stark's and have a better time."

Craig furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why Kyle?" He asked, almost chuckling.

I shrugged, "Because I think he'd be cute stoned, of course."

"Christ," Craig sighed. "If you were planning on cheating on me, you could at the very least try to lie."

"What's wrong?" I grinned, prodding him once more. "Hate the thought of losing me to a bottom?" I teased.

"Not really," Craig shrugged. "In fact, knock yourself out. I'd rather-" He stopped, his eyes flicking down to meet Token's and narrowing to slits. "What?" He mouthed the word, but even in silence I could tell he wanted to howl.

I turn back to find that Token quickly fixated his full attention on Bebe before returning to Craig. "What's his problem?"

"Ugh, nothing." Craig groaned. "He's being a baby, think's we fool around too much."

I raised a brow. "Fool around? He thinks we're fucking?"

"No," He rolled up his headphones and shoved them into his jacket pocket. "I mean, sure. Wouldn't surprise me at all if he thought that too."

I stood up, snaking my arms back into my sleeves. Craig furrowed his brow. "Where are you off to?"

"Away."

Craig rolled his eyes. "Sounds good to me."

I stand up, cracking my knuckles. He watched as I walked down the steps and past the others, shoving my hands into my pockets. Kyle turned away from Stan and called after me, but I just kept walking. I wanted to be alone. No friends, no Craig.

For a second, I swore I heard Craig say something to which Stan said something back. Whatever it was, I didn't care as I brushed past the gym doors.

—

It's not like I had anything to do besides- I don't know, fuck myself I guess.

I breathed in a cig I snatched from Craig's backpack, pulling it back and shaking the leftover ash off onto the snow outside the school.

I turned my head to gaze out past the trees and distant buildings to the sun. The school parking lot was mostly cleared out save for probably the teachers and custodians, Mrs. Garrison had stepped out at some point a while prior and threatened me with detention if I kept loitering and smoking on school grounds. The sun pierced holes through the thick white clouds above, orange hues turning the streaks of sky pink and purple and reflecting off the melting ice and snow.

I held out the cigarette so that the sun set on the ash as if it were burning atop it like a smoke stack on fire. Without thinking about it, I took that stack and buried it into the top of my other hand. The smell of burning skin, watching my hand shaking from the cold at the same time.

"Do you have to do fucked up shit like that all the time?"

I sighed, flicking the cigarette away and covering my hands. "Only in privacy. Speaking of which," I paused to turn towards Token Black, "What do you want?"

"I want to know what's going on between you and Craig." Token walked closer. "No bullshit."

"Who are you-his mom?" I laughed, "Token why do you ca-"

"And cut that nobody-cares-about-me act," He cut me off. Rude. "You're surrounded by people that care about you."

Man, this guy sucked, I waved him away. "If Craig sent you out here to check up on me, go tell him I'm fine. I just needed some alone time."

The doors opened behind him. Token turned back to see the before mentioned Craig step out staring pass Token to me. "Toke, your bitch needs something."

Token glared. "She's not a bitch."

Craig rolled his eyes. "You have no case to prove that statement. Go." He shot a thumb back towards the gym. Token sighed, turning back to me and pointing a finger.

"You heard the man," I mocked, "tell your bitch to be cool."

"You guys suck," Token shook his head, turning to walk past Craig only to stop and whisper something in his ear. Craig said something back, only to earn a playful jab at his shoulder from the jock. Punch like that would fucking hurt me.

Craig walked up to me and stared. And that was it.

I stared back. We just stared at each other. Riveting conversationalists, we were.

"What." I deadpanned.

Craig blinked in response. He turned towards the sun for a few seconds and then back to me, his expression...breaking?

No really. His fucking look, that indifferent bored see-through-you ass stare thing he does-broke. For like a good few seconds. Then he took a deep breath...and with a straight face, ladies and gentlemen, told me-

"Wanna make out?"

I deadpanned again, part not surprised part freaking the fuck out! "What. Craig you're acting weird."

"I'm just being straightforward." Craig shrugged, visibly biting the inside of his cheek. "Figured since you basically ask me to suck your dick all goddamn day-"

"I say that to everybody!" Fuck yeah, I was defensive.

"But you're always particular with me, McCormick. Face it."

"That's because I'm always around you, you're not easy to both with that kind of shit."

Craig tilted his head. "So this whole time, you've only wanted to push my buttons...and not trying to fuck me?"

"I...I…" Uh, yeah. He had a point.

"So, what you're saying is no make out?" Craig crossed his arms, then grinning.

I glared, my hands balling up into fists. I stomped my boots into the snow, grabbing him by the shoulders and holding my breath. I'd show him pushing buttons, I'd show him some good shit.

I might as well have head butted him-we fell to the ground lips crashing together.

"Hey guys!" Stan said peering around the corner, "We're all heading out for bur-"

Fucking. Stan. Marsh.

I tore away from Craig, looking over his shoulder as Stan stonewalled me back. His hand held up frozen, and his stupid face looking back. I glared, he pulled at his collar.

Stan stammered, moonwalking back towards the doors and not breaking contact. "I'll, uh…I'll just go tell them you guys left."

As he disappeared back through the doors, his hand poked back out with a thumbs up before snatching it back inside. I swear to God, if I get home to a hundred Skype messages I'm shitting in his truck.

With the moment ruined, we just…stood there. Backed away from each other, panting lightly and starring. He wouldn't speak, just eyeing me.

"Fuck you, Tucker." I said, turning and walking away.

"Fuck you, too." He spat back, though I could hear the smile in his words.

—