I smiled and went back to the console room.
"What?" I head the Doctor say and I ran to the console room and started. There was a bride staring at him, yelping in surprise. "What?!"
"Who are you?" she asked him.
"But-"
"Where am I?"
"What?!"
"What the hell is this place?"
"WHAT?!" The Doctor looked around as though looking for some explanation for why there was a bride in our home. "You can't do that, I wasn't... we're in flight! That is- that is physically impossible! How did-?" I stared at her in shock at
"Tell me where I am. I demand you tell me right now - where am I?" She commanded him as he stared at her.
"Inside the TARDIS." He told her.
"The what?" she asked him.
"The TARDIS." He answered.
"The what?" she asked again
"The TARDIS!" he almost yelled at her before turning to the controls to try and figure out why she appeared in the console room.
"The what?" she asked again.
"It's called the TARDIS." He told her.
"That's not even a proper word. You're just saying things." She told him angrily.
"How did you get in here?" he asked her.
"Well, obviously, when you kidnapped me. Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys? Oh, my God, she's finally got me back. This has got Nerys written all over it." She said, rigid with anger. The Doctor and I watched her rant staring at her with confusion.
"Who the hell is Nerys?" The Doctor asked her.
"Your best friend." She told him and I stepped in.
"That would be me, actually, for many years now." I told her.
"Hold on, wait a minute - what're you dressed like that for?" he asked and I gave him a look.
"Really?" I asked him.
"I'm going ten pin bowling." She told him sarcastically before yelling at him. "Why do you think, Dumbo? I was halfway up the aisle!" The Doctor then began to fiddle with the controls while the woman walked around ranting. "I've been waiting all my life for this. I was just seconds away! And then you- I dunno, you two drugged me or something!"
"We haven't done anything!" we told her together.
"We're having the police on you!" she told us, ignoring our comment. "Me and my husband - as soon as he is my husband - we're gonna sue the living backside off ya!"
"You won't be able to getting anything out of us." I told her as the Doctor didn't reply since he was engrossed in operating the controls. I saw the woman look at the doors before running to them.
"Don't open those doors!" I shouted at her.
"No, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Don't-!" The Doctor called out to her as we ran after her. She threw the doors open and was staring at the super nova I'd used to say goodbye to my family. We stopped running and stood on either side of her. "You're in space. Outer Space. This is our... space-ship. It's called the 'TARDIS'."
"How am I breathing?" she asked quietly.
"The TARDIS is protecting us." He told her.
"She's extending the air protection out further than normal for us." I explained as she stared at the super nova.
"Who are you two?" she asked us.
"I'm the Doctor. This is my wife, the Hunter. You?" he asked her.
"Donna."
"Human?" he asked looking her up and down.
"Yeah. Is that optional?" she asked us.
"Well, it is for us." He told her. Donna glanced at us.
"You're aliens." She said, not even bothering to ask.
"Yeah." We said together.
"It's freezing with these doors open." Donna said after a moment. The Doctor and I shut the doors and he rushed back to the console.
"But I don't understand it and I understand everything! This- this can't happen! There is no way a Human Being can lock itself onto the TARDIS and transport itself inside. It must be..." he rambled. He was all energy and it made me smile at him. He grabbed his ophthalmoscope and used it to look into her eyes. "Impossible. Some sort of subatomic connection? Something in the temporal field? Maybe something pulling you into alignment with the Chronon shell. Maybe something macro mining your DNA within the interior matrix. Maybe a genetic—" suddenly she slapped him and my hands flew to my mouth to stifle laughter and shock. "What was that for?"
"Get me to the church!" she shouted at him.
"Right! Fine! I don't want you here anyway!" he told her. I went to the controls and started planning our flight pattern.
"Where is the wedding?" I asked her.
"Saint Mary's, Hayden Road, Chiswick, London, England, Earth, the Solar System." She told me. "I knew it. Acting all innocent." I looked up at her confused only to see my old bloody jacket. "I'm not the first, am I? How many women have you abducted?"
"That's mine." I told her. The events that caused my regeneration and the loss of my human family were on that jacket.
"You're not hurt, how can this be yours?" she asked me.
"It's an alien thing." I told her.
"What alien thing?" she asked me.
"An alien thing where I almost lost everything that mattered to me, so button it." I ordered her angrily before continuing putting in the coordinates.
"She lost her family, Donna." The Doctor told her quietly.
"Well, you can hurry up and lose me." She yelled at me. She watched us for a moment in blessed silence. "How do you mean, 'lost'?" I looked up at her darkly and advanced on her before the Doctor held me back. Donna looked at me fearfully as I shook the Doctor off me. I snatched the jacket from her and moved away from them.
"Right! Chiswick." The Doctor said with false cheerfulness.
As soon as we landed Donna left the TARDIS.
"I said 'Saint Mary's'. What sort of Martian are you? Where's this?" Donna asked us irritated. As the Doctor stroked the TARDIS with concern. As we landed something strange was going on.
"Something's wrong with her..." the Doctor told me. "It's like she's... recalibrating!" we rushed back into the TARDIS and over to the console.
"She's digesting." I said.
"What have you eaten? What's wrong?" The Doctor asked the TARDIS, his hand on the rotor. "Donna? You've really gotta think. Is there anything that might've caused this?" he asked her, but she didn't answer. "Anything you might've done? Any sort of alien contacts? I can't let you go wandering off in case you're dangerous. I mean, have you... have you seen lights in the sky? Or... did you touch something? Something- something different? Something strange? Something made out of a sort of metal or... who're you getting married to?"
"Are you sure he's human?" I called to her.
"He's not a bit overweight with a zip around his forehead, is he?" the Doctor asked and we turned to her and watched her walking away from us through the door.
"Donna!" we called for her running after her. We fell into step beside her
"Leave me alone. I just want to get married." She told us.
"Come back to the TARDIS." He told her.
"No way. That box is too... weird." She told him.
"It's... bigger on the inside, that's all." He corrected her.
"Oh! That's all?" she asked sarcastically before sighing exaggeratingly and checking her watch. "Ten past three. I'm gonna miss it." She said suppressing her tears.
"You can phone them. Tell them where you are." He suggested and I gave him a look.
"How do I do that?" she asked him.
"Haven't you got a mobile?" he asked and she stopped and we both stared at him.
"I'm in my wedding dress. It doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting, do you think I said "Alison, the one thing I forgot to say is give me pockets"?!" she yelled at him.
"... This man you're marrying - what's his name?" the Doctor asked her.
"Lance." She said her voice getting soft and loving.
"Good luck Lance." He said to no one and I hit him.
"Oi! No stupid Martians are gonna stop me from getting married. To hell with you two!" she told us before running off.
"We're—we're not... we're not... we're not from Mars." He said to no one.
"Well come on. We better make sure she's going to be okay and nothing comes after her." I said and we ran off after her.
"Taxi!" Donna called out as we joined her. "Why's his light on?"
"There's another one!" The Doctor called as he ran and tried to catch it.
"Taxi!" Donna and I called. We stumbled into the road in our effort to catch the driver's attention but again it just dove straight past us. "Oi!"
"There's one!" I called out. The Doctor and I ran waving for attention and it again ignored us.
"Oi!" Donna called out.
"Do you have this effect on everyone?" The Doctor asked her and I smacked his arm. "Why aren't they stopping?"
"They think I'm in fancy dress." She told us as another taxi drove by, hooting his horm.
"Stay off the scotch darlin'!" he called out.
"They think I'm drunk." She corrected.
"You're fooling no-one, mate!" two guys in their car yelled out of the windows as they drove past us.
"They think I'm in drag!" she corrected again. I saw the Doctor look her up and down appraisingly. I smacked him on his arm again, knowing what he was thinking.
"Let me try something. Move." I said pushing him back. I put my fingers between my lips and whistled, long and piercing. Donna and the Doctor covered their ears, but my idea worked. We got a taxi and we all clambered into the back seat.
"Saint Mary's in Chiswick, just off Hayden Road. It's an emergency, I'm getting married! Just... hurry up!" Donna told him.
"You know it'll cost you, sweetheart? Double rates today." The taxi driver told us.
"Oh, my God!" Donna said before turning to us. "Have you got any money?"
"No." I said before turning to the Doctor.
"Um... no. And you?" he asked her and I gave him another look.
"Pockets!" we both yelled at him. The taxi screeched to a halt and we got out.
"And that goes double for your mother!" Donna continued her yelling as the Doctor slammed the door before the driver drove off. "I'll have him. I've got his number. I'll have him. Talk about the Christmas Spirit."
"Is it Christmas?" The Doctor said as we looked around at the decorations.
"Well, duh. Maybe not on Mars, but here it's Christmas Eve." She said hitting him, as she spotted something in the distance. "Phone box!" we all rushed towards the red phone box. "We can reverse the charges!"
"How come you're getting married on Christmas Eve?" The Doctor asked her.
"Can't bear it. I hate Christmas. Honeymoon in Morocco. Sunshine - lovely." She said with a smile as we reached the phone box. The Doctor held the door open as Donna walked in. She grabbed the phone and stared at the numbers in confusion for a moment. "What's the operator? I've not done this in years. What do you dial? 100?" He used his sonic screwdriver on the phone.
"Just- just call the direct." He told her as the dial tone buzzed on the end of the receiver.
"What did you do?" she asked him.
"Something- Martian." He said before sprinting off.
"You phone your family we'll get money!" I told her following the Doctor, sprinting to the cash machine. I stood with him impatiently as the man in front of us was being aggravatingly slow in getting his money. The Doctor was starting to get more agitated by the second. Finally the man in front of us left and we darted forward. We cast a furitive look around us before he used his sonic screwdriver to retrieve cash from the machine. A song caught my attention and I looked to see a row of masked Santa's. "Doctor." I said, catching his attention. He turned and we watched the Santa's, remembering them from last Christmas.
"Taxi!" I turned to see Donna talking to a taxi driver for a few seconds before opening the door and turning back to us. "Thanks for nothing, spaceman! I'll see you in Court." She shouted at us before climbing into the taxi, As it drove away the driver looked at us and we saw a masked Santa.
"Donna!" We shouted after them but it was too late they were gone. We looked back at the Santa's playing and watched as they all held their instruments like weapons. The Doctor turned to the cash machine and soniced it causing notes to fly everywhere. People around us mad a mad scramble for them and the confusion as they ran around trying to catch the money and stuff it into their pockets cause the Santa's to raise their weapons. We ran back to the TARDIS and prepared to do something we were hopefully never going to try again. He continued to pummel the TARDIS into action with his usual equipment: his fists and a hammer as the rotor started to rise and fall.
"You really shouldn't hit her." I told him watching the taxi's progress on the monitor. Sparks flew from the TARDIS console and it tilted dangerously.
"Behave!" The Doctor shouted at her while hitting her with a hammer.
"Stop hitting her!" I shouted at him. I watched on the monitor as the TARDIS fell out of the sky just above Donna's taxi.
"Are you ready?" he asked me and I nodded. He then stumbled over to the doors and threw them open as I tried to keep her steady in line with the taxi. "Open the door!" he shouted to her.
"Do what?" she asked him.
"Open the door!" he repeated.
"I can't, it's locked!" she shouted at him, hitting the window. I heard the Doctor sonic the door, enabling her to push the window down. "Santa's a robot."
"Donna, open the door." He told her.
"What for?" she asked.
"You've got to jump!" he told her. On the monitor I saw the robot turn his head to Donna and the Doctor.
"Hurry up!" I called to them.
"I'm not bleedin' flip jumping, I'm supposed to be getting married!" Donna shouted shrilly. I watched as the robot sped up the taxi and the Doctor turned to me.
"They're getting away!" he shouted to me.
"Thank you dear, I see that!" I called back to him sarcastically. I pulled some switches on the console, causing random explosions from the console once more singeing my arm. The TARDIS banged on the roofs of the car of a distressed man before pulling herself back in line with the taxi. The Doctor struggled to regain his balance at the door as I struggled to hold onto the console. I watched the Doctor sonic the robot, disabling it this time.
"Listen to me - you've got to jump." He shouted to her.
"I'm not jumping on a motorway." Donna told him.
"Whatever that thing is, it needs you. And whatever it needs you for, it's not good. Now, come on!" he shouted.
"I'm in my wedding dress!" she reminded him.
"Yes! You look lovely! Come on!" he told her. I watched as she opened the door and positioned herself ready to jump. The Doctor held out his arms to catch her once she jumped.
"I can't do it." She told him fearfully.
"Trust me." He told her calmly.
"Is that what you said to her? Your friend and her family? The one she lost? Did they trust you?" Donna asked him. I looked down at the console and my hands, taking deep breathes.
"Yes, they did. And they are not dead. They are so alive. Now, jump!" he told her. So Donna, with a scream, jumped and landed on top of the Doctor in a heap on the floor. The doors slammed closed and the TARDIS zoomed back up into the sky.
I stood beside Donna as she looked at her watch again. I had landed us on the roof of some high rise building and the Doctor was now coughing and spluttering as he tried to extinguish the smoke billowing from the TARDIS doors.
"The funny thing is, for a spaceship, she doesn't really do that much flying. We'd better give her a couple of hours. You all right?" The Doctor asked her, noticing her silence.
"Doesn't matter." She told him shrugging,
"Did we miss it?" I asked her.
"Yeah." She told us.
"Well, you can book another date..." I offered.
"Course we can." She agreed.
"Still got the honeymoon..." the Doctor said and I gave him a look. This is the regeneration of looks it would seem.
"It's just a holiday now." She told him.
"Yeah... yeah... sorry." He said.
"It's not your fault." She told him and I laughed lightly.
"Oh! That's a change." He said to her.
"Wish we had a time machine. Then we could go back and get it right." She said and I tried to hold in my laughter.
".. Yeah, yeah. But... even if I did, I couldn't go back on someone's personal timeline. Apparently." The Doctor told her. Donna gave him a suspicious glance before going to sit on the edge of the roof. I walked and sat next to her and took her hand in mine for comfort. The Doctor joined us and sat next to her after removing his jacket and draping it around her shoulders.
"God, you're skinny. This wouldn't fit a rat." She said.
"I told him we needed to put some meat on his bones." I told her, making her laugh.
"Oh and you'd better put this on." He said producing what looked like a wedding ring from his pocket.
"Oh, do you have to rub it in?" she asked him.
"Those creatures can trace you. This is a bio-damper. Should keep you hidden." He told her as he slipped it onto her finger. "With this ring, I thee bio-damp."
"For better or for worse." She said to him. He smiled at us and I returned it. "So, come on then. Robot Santas - what are they for?"
"Ah, your basic robo-scavenger. The Father Christmas stuff is just a disguise. They're trying to blend in. We met them last Christmas." He told her.
"Why, what happened then?" she asked and we both threw her a look.
"... Great big spaceship? Hovering over London? You didn't notice?" he asked her.
"I had a bit of a hangover." She told us.
"I'm pretty sure it would have woken you up." I told her and she just gave me a look.
"We spent Christmas Day just over there, the Powell Estate. With our... family." He told her.
"My mum had a flat there. Well, she and my sister, they were..." I paused for a moment, lost in the memories. "Still... gone now. I did remember being married to him in time for Christmas morning though."
"Remembered being married?" she asked me. "How could you forget?"
"To protect me during a war he took my memories and sealed them away. We were in the middle of a large battle and the device holding my memories opened and returned them." I told her.
"Your family... who were they?" she asked me.
"Question is, what do camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the TARDIS? I don't know..." he said contemplating her as she rolled her eyes at him.
"What's your job?" I asked her as he started to scan her.
"I'm a secretary." She told us.
"It's weird, I mean - you're not special, you're not powerful, you're not connected, you're not clever, you're not important..." the Doctor said.
"Have you ever punched him in the face?" she asked me.
"No, but my mum slapped him." I told her as she whacked the screwdriver aside.
"Stop bleeping me!" she ordered him.
"What kind of secretary?" he asked her.
"I'm at HC Clements. It's where I met Lance. I was temping." She told us. "I mean, it was all a bit posh really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought - I'm never gonna fit in here. And then he made me a coffee. I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee. And Lance - he's the head of HR! He don't need to bother with me! But he was nice, he was funny. And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So that's how it started, me and him - one cup of coffee. That was it."
"When was this?" the Doctor asked her.
"Six months ago." She told us.
"Bit quick, to get married..." he told her. Even we waited a long time before getting married.
"Well... he insisted." She told us. I gave him a quick look saying I think it was the other way around. "And he nagged... and he nagged me... And he just wore me down and then finally, I just gave in."
"What does HC Clements do?" he asked her.
"Oh, security systems, you know... entry codes, ID cards - that sort of thing." She told us. "If you ask me, it's a posh name for 'locksmiths'."
"So they make keys." I said to myself.
"Yeah." She confirmed.
"Keys..." the Doctor mused.
"Anyway, enough of my CV. Come on, it's time to face the consequences. Oh, this is gonna be so shaming. You can do the explaining, Martians." She told us.
"Yeah. We're not from Mars." He told her before standing up and helping us up.
"Oh, I had this great big reception all planned. Everyone's gonna be heartbroken." She said as we got into the TARDIS.
We walked into where the reception was to be held to see everyone having a good time dancing. Donna folded her arms across her chest as we watched them. Soon the room fell silent and all eyes were on us.
"You had the reception without me?" she asked them.
"Donna... what happened to ya?" a black man asked her.
"You had the reception without me?" she asked, her voice raising.
"Hello! I'm the Doctor and this is my lovely wife the Hunter." The Doctor said cheerfully to everyone.
"They had the reception without me." Donna said, turning to us.
"Yes, we can see that." I told her.
"Well, it was all paid for - why not?" a blonde asked.
"Thank you, Nerys." Donna said.
"So this is the woman you thought we were friends with?" I asked her and she nodded to us. "I think I should feel insulted." I told the Doctor.
"Well, what were we supposed to do? I got your silly little message in the end - "I'm on Earth"? Very funny. What the hell happened? How did you do it? I mean, what's the trick because I'd love to know—" suddenly everyone started talking at once until all we could hear was an incomprehensible of babble of voices. Donna then burst into tears and their anger melted into pity. The black man hugged her and she cried into his shoulder. I can only assume this was Lance. Everyone applauded for some reason before she turned her head to us and winked through her fake tears. The reception party continued as before, except now Donna had joined in with the dancing. The Doctor and I leaned against the bar, smiling as we watched her. I remembered our own wedding and my smile grew slightly. The Doctor noticed a man with a mobile phone and gestured to borrow it. The man nodded and handed it over. The Doctor, putting on his glasses, did a WAP search for H C Clements. He casted a furtive look around the room before using his sonic screwdriver to speed the process up - the result "Sole Prop. TORCHWOOD" was displayed on the screen and my smile fell. The Doctor closed the phone and gave it back to the man. I noticed the cameraman in the corner, who was recording the proceedings. I motioned to him so the Doctor knew and we rushed to his side. When we stood next to him he puts a tape in the camera to show us the wedding ceremony.
"I taped the whole thing - they've all had a look. They said "sell it to You've Been Framed". I said "more like the News". Here we are..." he played the tape for us and we saw the camera zoom in on Donna's face as she seemingly disintegrated into golden particles with a scream
"Can't be! Play it again?" the Doctor asked him and he rewound it and played it again.
"Clever, mind! Good trick, I'll give her that. I was clapping." He told us. We watched the video again, brow.
"But that looks like... Huon Particles!" The Doctor said.
"What's that?" The cameraman asked.
"That's impossible, that's... ancient! Huon energy doesn't exist anymore, not for billions of years! So old that..." my eyes widened and I looked at Donna.
"... it can't be hidden by a biodamper!" I said and we ran as fast as we could to a window and sure enough there were the Santas making their way slowly to the house. We quickly turned and ran back to Donna.
"Donna! Donna, they've found you." The Doctor told her.
"But you said I was safe." She reminded us.
"The biodamper doesn't work. We've got to get everyone out." I told her.
"Oh, my God - it's all my family..." she said looking around at her loved ones.
"Right now you are the most important person here. They are coming for you, not them." I told her.
"Out the back door!" the Doctor said. We ran out the back door, only to be confronted with two of the Santas. "Maybe not."
"Ya think?" I asked him. We ran back inside and darted over to another window and saw two more Santas.
"We're trapped." Donna said. One of the Santas were holding some kind of remote control, which we saw him raise. I remembered the last time we encountered them. I turned to the room and saw the Christmas tree in the middle of the room.
"Doctor…" I said and he turned.
"Christmas trees..." he said as we rushed back to the crowd.
"What about them?" Donna asked us.
"They kill." We told her.
"Get away from the tree!" The Doctor said as we pushed everyone back.
"Get back!" I told them.
"Don't touch the trees!" Donna said.
"Get away from the Christmas trees, everyone get away from them!" the Doctor said as Donna ushered a group of little girls away from the tree
"Out! Lance, tell them!" Donna ordered.
"Stay away from the tree!" I told them.
"Stay away from the tree!" the Doctor repeated.
"Oh, for God's sakes, the man's an idiot! Why? What's a Christmas tree gonna... oh!" a blonde woman said. I turned and saw why she trailed off. Some of the baubles floated away from the tree in some kind of weird dance. We watched them mistrustfully as they hovered above everyone's heads. Everyone chattered excitedly until they started dive-bombing around the room and causing small explosions. Everyone started screaming around and running for cover. The Doctor grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the DJ's stand and we turned to see the Santas lined up opposite us.
"Oi! Santa! Word of advice: if you're attacking a man with a sonic screwdriver don't let him near the sound system." He held his sonic screwdriver nest to the amplifiers and it made a horrible, high-pitched screeching sound. We all covered our ears and the Santas vibrated violently until they fell to pieces. The Doctor removed his sonic and we ran to examine the mechanics of them. I picked up the console which the Santas were using and messed with it a bit.
"Look at that - remote control for the decorations" I told him, showing him the consoles. "But it seems there's a second remote control for the robots. They're not scavengers anymore. I think someone's taken possession."
"I think you're right." He told me.
"Never mind all that, you're a doctor - people have been hurt." I heard Donna say.
"Nah, they wanted you alive, look," he threw her a bauble. "they're not active now."
"All I'm saying - you could help." She told him. The Doctor grabbed one of the heads and held it to his ear.
"Gotta think of the bigger picture... there's still a signal!" and with that we took off outside. He scanned the helmet with his sonic screwdriver, trying to pinpoint the controller. "There's someone behind this, directing the robo-force."
"But why is it me? What have I done?" Donna asked us.
"If we find the controller, we'll find that out. Oh!" he said, raising his screwdriver into the air. "It's up there. Something in the sky. I've lost the signal - Donna, we've got to get to your office, H C Clements. I think that's where it all started. Lance - is it Lance? Can you give me a lift?" he grabbed my hand and we darted off without waiting for an answer. We all piled into Lance's car and he drove us to HC Clements. When we arrived we jumped out of his car and ran into the building and then to Donna's office. The Doctor and I went straight to a computer
"This might just be a locksmiths, but H C Clements was brought up twenty three years ago by the Torchwood Institute." The Doctor told us.
"Who are they?" Donna asked us and I felt my face grow cold.
"They were behind the battle of Canary Wharf." I told her and she just gave me a blank silence. "... Cyberman invasion." She continued to look at us inquiringly.
"Skies over London full of Daleks?" I asked to see if that ran any bells for her.
"Oh, I was in Spain." She told us.
"They had Cybermen in Spain." I told her.
"Scuba diving." She told us and I gave the Doctor a look saying I couldn't believe this woman.
"That big picture, Donna - you keep on missing it." He said before darting to another computer. "Torchwood was destroyed, but H C Clements stayed in business. I think... someone else came in and took over the operation."
"We think." I corrected him.
"Yes, we think." He said.
"But what do they want with me?" Donna asked us.
"Somehow you've been dosed with Huon energy." He told her.
"And that's a problem because Huon energy hasn't existed since the Dark times. The only place you'd find a Huon particle now is a remnant in the heart of the TARDIS." I told her.
"See? That's what happened. Say... that's the TARDIS" The Doctor told her picking up a mug. "And that's you." He picked up a pencil. "The particles inside you activated. The two sets of particles magnetised and WHAP!" he threw the pencil into the mug. "You were pulled inside the TARDIS."
"I'm a pencil inside a mug?" Donna asked weakly.
"Yes, you are. 4H. Sums you up. Lance? What was H C Clements working on? Anything top secret? Special operations? Do not enter?" The Doctor asked him.
"I don't know, I'm in charge of personnel. I wasn't project manager." Lance said defensivly. The Doctor held his sonic screwdriver to the screen and it instantly displayed the page we'd been looking for.
"Why didn't you just do that in the first place?" I asked him.
"I don't know if I like this new attitude from this regeneration." He told me.
"Watch it." I told him warningly.
"Why am I even explaining myself? What the hell are we talking about?" Lance asked us.
"They make keys, that's the point. And look at this we're on the third floor. " The Doctor said looking at the plans. We all ran to the lift and waited for it to come down to our floor. "Underneath reception, there's a basement, yes?" Lance and Donna nodded as the doors pinged open and he and I went inside and looked at the controls. "Then how come when you look on the lift, there's a button marked 'lower basement'? There's a whole floor which doesn't exist on the official plans. So what's down there, then?"
"Let's find out." I told him with a smile.
"Are you two telling me this building's got a secret floor?" Lance asked us.
"No, we're showing you this building's got a secret floor." The Doctor told him.
"It needs a key." Donna said, noticing the key hole.
"Oh sweet naive Donna." I said with a smile
"We don't." the Doctor told her before sonicing the lock. "Right then, thanks you two, we can handle this - see you later."
"No chance, Martians. You're the ones who keep saving my life, I ain't letting you two out of my sight." Donna said joining us in the lift.
"Going down." The Doctor said
"Lance?" Donna asked pointedly.
"Maybe I should go to the police." He offered.
"Inside." She ordered and he meekly joined us in the lift.
"To honor and obey?" The Doctor asked him.
"Tell me about it, mate." Lance agreed.
"OI." Donna and I shouted as the doors closed and the lift descended. The lift pinged and we all stepped out into a long, dark, dank corridor, dimly lit with an eerie green light.
"Where are we? Well, what goes on down here?" Donna asked us.
"Let's find out..." The Doctor said and we started moving.
"Do you think Mr. Clements knows about this place?" Donna asked us.
"The mysterious H C Clements? I think he's part of it." He told her before something caught his eye. "Oh, look - transport."
"There's only three." I said looking at the electric scooters.
"It's a good thing you love me then." The Doctor said taking my hand with a smile before we climbed on. The four of us trundled down the corridor. Donna and Lance each stood on their own electric scooters while the Doctor and I shared one. Donna looked at us and burst out laughing. The Doctor joins in and I stared at her after a moment before joining in. We came to a door that said "Torchwood - authorized personnel only", so naturally we abandoned our scooters as the Doctor turns the wheel that opened the door to reveal a ladder. He peered up the ladder before looking back at us.
"Wait here. Just need to get my bearings. Don't do anything." He ordered pointing at us. I gave him a look. "No." He told me and I continued staring at him. "Oh, fine. How is it that I fall for that look every regeneration?"
"Just lucky I guess." I told him as he started up the ladder.
"You'd better come back." Donna told us.
"We couldn't get rid of you if we tried." The Doctor told her getting him a smile before we continued to climb the ladder. We reached the top of the ladder where we were confronted with the underside of a manhole. I opened it and climbed out into daylight with the Doctor only to see us overlooking the Thames Flood barrier. We climbed back down to Donna and Lance in silence.
"Thames flood barrier! Right on top of us. Torchwood snuck in and built this place underneath." The Doctor said.
"What, there's like a secret base hidden underneath a major London landmark?" Donna asked shocked.
"I know! Unheard of." He told her and I elbowed his ribs and he smiled down at me. We continued walking down the corridor only to enter some kind of laboratory, full of massive test tubes bubbling away and tons of chemistry equipment.
"It's every nerds dream." I said looking at some of the equipment.
"Oh, look at this! Stunning! Particle extrusion!" The Doctor said moving ahead of us and Donna and I shared a look.
"What does it do?" Donna asked him.
"Particle extrusion. Hold on..." he darted over to one of the bubbling tubes and tapped it. "Brilliant. They've been manufacturing Huon particles. In case our people got rid of Huons, they unravelled the atomic structure." The Doctor told them.
"Your people? Who are they? What company do you represent?" Lance asked him.
"Oh, we're freelancers. But this lot are rebuilding them. They've been using the river! Extruding them through a flat hydrogen base so they've got the end result - Huon particles in liquid form." He said picking up a small test tube full of the Huon particles.
"And that's what's inside me?" Donna asked us. The Doctor gently turned a knob at the top of the test tube, making the contents glow gold and Donna with it. "Oh, my God!" she said shocked.
"Because the particles are inert - they need something living to catalyze inside and that's you. Saturate the body and then... HA!" he said suddenly making her jump as his mad enthusiasm made itself known. "The wedding! Yes, you're getting married, that's it! Best day of your life, walking down the aisle - oh, your body's a battleground! There's a chemical war inside! Adrenaline, acetylcholine, WHAM go the endorphins, oh you're cooking! Yeah, you're like a walking oven! A pressure cooker, a microwave, all churning away, the particles reach boiling point, SHAZAM!" she suddenly slapped him and he looked at her confused. "What did I do this time?" he asked her. "Why aren't you stopping her?" he asked me.
"And get slapped myself, I don't think so." I told him.
Are you enjoying this?" she asked him and he relaxed, ashamed slightly. She walked towards him, breathing heavily in her distress. "Right, just tell me - these particles, are they dangerous? Am I safe?"
"Yes!" he told her unconvincingly.
"Doctor... if your lot got rid of Huon particles... why did they do that?" she asked him.
"Because they were deadly." I told her gently.
"Oh, my God..." she said quietly.
"We'll sort it out, Donna. Whatever's been done to you, we'll reverse it." The Doctor told her.
"We're not about to lose someone else." I said putting my arms around her shoulders. Suddenly we were all distracted by crashes and bangs that seemed to come from all around us.
"Oh, she is long since lost." A voice said. One of the walls slid upwards to reveal a secret chamber with an enormous round hole in the floor. "I have waited so long, hibernating at the edge of the universe until the secret heart was uncovered and called out to waken!" The walls of the chamber were lined with the armed robots wearing black hoods.
"Someone's been digging... oh, very Torchwood. Drilled by laser. How far down does it go?" The Doctor asked the voice.
"Down and down, all the way to the centre of the Earth!" the voice told us.
"Really? What for?" I asked.
"Dinosaurs." Donna said shuffling forward.
"What?" the Doctor and I asked her.
"Dinosaurs?" she asked us.
"What are you on about, dinosaurs?" The Doctor asked her.
"That film, Under the Earth, with dinosaurs. Trying to help!" she told him.
"That's not helping." He told her.
"Such a sweet couple." The voice said to us.
"Only a madman talks to thin air and trust me, you don't want to make us mad. Where are you?" The Doctor asked the voice.
"High in the sky, floating so high on Christmas Night." The voice told us.
"We didn't come all this way to talk on the intercom!" I called up to it.
"Come on, let's have a look at you!" the Doctor called out.
"Who are you with such command?" it asked.
"I'm the Doctor and my wife's the Hunter." He told it.
"Prepare your best medicines and weapons, doctor-man and hunter-girl, for you will be sick at heart." The voice said. The owner of the voice teleported herself into the chamber and we were shocked at the snarling, growling creature.
"The Racnoss... but that's impossible, you're one of the Racnoss!" The Doctor said.
"Empress of the Racnoss." She corrected.
"If you're the Empress, where's the rest of the Racnoss? Or... are you the only one?" the Doctor asked her.
"Such a sharp mind." She said.
"That's it, the last of your kind." The Doctor said under his breath.
"The Racnoss come from the Dark Times, billions of years ago, billions. They were carnivores, omnivores, they devoured whole planets." I explained to her.
"Racnoss are born starving, is that our fault?" the Empress asked us.
"They eat people?" Donna asked us.
"They eat everyone." I told her.
"H C Clements, did he wear those- those erm, black and white shoes?" The Doctor asked and I gave him a curious look before looking at where he was.
"He did! We used to laugh, we used to call him the fat cat in spats." She told us with laughter in her voice. The Doctor nodded and pointed to a web on the ceiling. A pair of black and white shoes still attached to the unfortunate H C Clements could just be seen poking out. "Oh, my God!"
"Mm, my Christmas dinner." The Empress cackled.
"You shouldn't even exist! Way back in history, the Fledgling Empires went to war against the Racnoss - they were wiped out." The Doctor said. Behind her Lance appeared holding an ax
"Except for me." She corrected.
"But that's what I've got inside me, that Huon energy thing." Donna said trying to distract her. "Oi! Look at me, lady, I'm talking. Where do I fit in? How comes I get all stacked up with these Huon particles?" she asked as Lance descended the stairs, ax at the ready to kill the Empress. "Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me."
"The bride is so feisty!" The Empress said.
"Yes, I am! And I don't know what you are, you big... thing. But a spider's just a spider and an axe is an axe! Now, do it!" Donna shouted. Lance swung the ax back to kill her and she turned around and hissed at the last moment and he froze. He glanced round at us and started to laugh with the Empress.
"That was a good one. Your face!" Lance said to the Empress.
"Lance is funny." The Empress said.
"What?" Donna asked confused.
"I'm sorry." The Doctor and I told her quietly.
"Sorry for what? Lance, don't be so stupid! Get her!" Donna ordered him.
"God, she's thick." Lance said and Donna looked right back at him, confused. "Months I had to put up with her. Months. A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map."
"I don't understand."
"How did you meet him?" The Doctor asked her again.
"In the office." She answered.
"He made you coffee." The Doctor repeated.
"What?" she asked confused.
"Every day, I made you coffee." Lance said as though he was talking to an idiot.
"You had to be dosed with liquid particles over six months." The Doctor told her and I wrapped my hand around her shoulders in comfort once more.
"He was poisoning me?" Donna asked.
"It was all there in the job title - the Head of Human Resources." The Doctor called up to her.
"This time, it's personnel." Lance said and both he and the Empress laughed.
"But... we were getting married." Donna said.
"Well, I couldn't risk you running off. I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavour Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap - "oh, Brad and Angelina - is Posh pregnant?" X Factor, Atkins Diet, Feng Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me, dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia." Lance said and the poor woman listened to this torrent of abuse with an expression of increasing hurt and confusion. "I deserve a medal."
"Oh, is that what she's offered you? The Empress of the Racnoss? What are you? Her consort?" The Doctor asked him and I gave a face.
"So did not want to think of that." I told him.
"It's better than a night with her." Lance said and my anger for the man only grew. It seemed this regeneration would be like his last one. Angry.
"But I love you." Donna said plaintively.
"That's what made it easy." He told her nastily. "It's like you said, Doctor - the big picture - what's the point of it all if the Human Race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to... go out there. To see it. The size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor? Hunter?" Lance asked us.
"Who is this little physician and slayer?" the Empress asked him.
"She said – Martians." Lance told her.
"Oh, we're sort of... homeless. But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's gonna help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth, isn't it?" The Doctor asked them.
"I think he wants us to talk." Lance said to her.
"I think so too." She agreed.
"Well, tough! All we need is Donna!" Lance told us.
"Kill this chattering little doctor-man and hunter-woman!" The Empress ordered.
"Don't you hurt them!" Donna ordered getting in front of us.
"No, no, it's all right." The Doctor told her.
"No, I won't let them!" she said frightened.
"At arms!" The Empress said and the robots pointed their guns at us.
"Ah, now. Except." The Doctor started saying.
"Take aim!" she ordered.
"Well, I just want to point out the obvious—" the Doctor tried again.
"They won't hit the bride. They're such very good shots." She told him.
"Just- just- just- hold on, just a tick, just a tiny- just a little- tick. If you think about it, the particles activated in Donna and drew her inside my spaceship. So, reverse it... the spaceship comes to her." He once again tweaked the tube of liquid Huon particles which caused both the particles in the tube and inside Donna to glow.
"Fire!" The Empress ordered and the robots opened fire on us only the TARDIS had already materialized around us, we were safe.
"Off we go!" The Doctor said as he and I rushed to the console to take off. "Oh, you know what I said before about time machines? Well, I lied. And now we're gonna use it." The Doctor told Donna as we spun through the vortex. "We need to find out what the Empress of the Racnoss is digging up. If something's buried at the planet core, it must've been there since the beginning. That's just brilliant. Molto bene! I've always wanted to see this. Donna - we're going further back than I've ever been before." I looked at Donna and noticed her shoulders shuddering with the silent tears pouring down her face. We flew in silence to our destination. The TARDIS clicked quietly as it cooled down. The Doctor and I peered at Donna sitting in one of the chairs. He looked to me and I walked to her.
"Hey. We arrived. Do you wanna see it?" I asked her.
"I s'pose." She told me unenthusiastically.
"Oh, that scanner's a bit small. Maybe your way's best." The Doctor said going to the doors.
"When it comes to something like this Donna's way's always better." I told him and she smiled at me lightly.
"Come on." The Doctor told her. I held my hand out for her and she took it. "No human's ever seen this. You'll be the first."
"All I want to see is my bed." She said holding my hand.
"Donna Noble - welcome to the creation of the Earth." He opened the door the door onto the spectacular sight. Our mouths fall open at the beauty of everything. The sun shined through beautiful colored dust and gas cloud as enormous rocks floated around. "We've gone back 4.6 billion years. There's no solar system, not yet. Only dust and rocks and gas. That's the Sun over there, brand new. Just beginning to burn." He said pointing to the new star.
"Where's the Earth?" Donna asked us.
"All around us... in the dust, the gases, the rocks." I told her.
"Puts the wedding in perspective. Lance was right. We're just... tiny." She said looking at everything and I smiled at her.
"No, but that's what you do. The human race. Making sense out of chaos. Marking it out with weddings and Christmas and calendars. This whole process is beautiful, but only if it's being observed." The Doctor told her.
"The way the Human Race marks the passage of time is just as beautiful as all this." I told her wrapping my arm around her.
"So, I came out of all this?" she asked us.
"Isn't that brilliant?" he asked her. A massive chunk of rock floated lazily past us as we watched the eternal beauty of the Big Bang.
"I think that's the Isle of Hawaii." Donna said and we all laughed.
"Eventually, gravity takes hold." The Doctor started explaining. "Say, one big rock, heavier than the others, starts to pull other rocks towards it. All the dust and gas and elements get pulled in, everything, piling in until you get the..."
"Earth." She questioned.
"But the question is... what was that first rock?" I asked him. Suddenly we turned to see a star shaped rock emerge through the clouds.
"Look." She told us.
"The Racnoss..." I said. The Doctor turned and rushed back to the console and turned one of the wheels frantically. "The Racnoss are hiding from the war." I said.
"What's it doing?" The Doctor asked us. The rocks, the particles of dust and gas, they were all zooming towards the Racnoss as though drawn by a magnetic force.
"Exactly what you said." Donna told him.
"Oh, they didn't just bury something at the center of the Earth... they became the center of the Earth. The first rock." The Doctor said joining us at the door again. Suddenly, the TARDIS shuddered violently we were nearly knocked off our feet.
"What was that?" Donna asked.
"Trouble." The Doctor and I told her. We slammed the door shut and rushed back to the console. We all struggled to keep our balance as the TARDIS shuddered the tipped.
"Every time!" I shouted to the Doctor. "Every time we walk out those doors something happens!"
"What the hell's it doing?" Donna asked us.
"Remember that little trick I pulled - particles pulling particles. It works in reverse - they're pulling us back!" The Doctor told her as we desperately tried to pilot the TARDIS but t was beyond out control as we whirled through the vortex.
"Well, can't you stop it? Hasn't it got a handbrake? Can't you reverse or warp or beam or something?" she asked us.
"Backseat driver. Oh! Wait a minute!" The Doctor said pulling the extrapolator from underneath the console. "The extrapolator! Can't stop us, but it should give us a good bump!"
"And you said that thing would never come in handy again." I said with a smile on my face. He waited a moment before whacking the extrapolator.
"Now!" he yelled and we moved after just materializing where we had been before. "We're about 200 yards to the right. Come on!" The Doctor said once we were out of the TARDIS. We ran back at the doorway leading up to the Thames Flood Barrier.
"But what do we do?" Donna asked us.
"I don't know! I make it up as I go along! But trust me, I've got a history." He told her.
"Sad as that sounds." I said.
"But I still don't understand. I'm full of particles - but what for?" she asked.
"There's a Racnoss web at the centre of the Earth, but my people unravelled their power source. The Huon particles ceased to exist but the Racnoss are stuck. They've just been in hibernation for billions of years. Frozen. Dead. Kaput! So you're the new key. Brand new particles, living particles! They need you to open it and you have never been so quiet." We looked to where she had been and groaned. I sighed and he opened up the door with his sonic screwdriver, only to be confronted with an armed robot.
"My babies will be hungry. They need sustenance. Perish the web." We heard as we walked into the lab in out disguises.
"Use her! Not me! Use her!" Lance said.
"Oh, my funny little Lance! But you are quite impolite to your lady-friend. The Empress does not approve." The Empress said. The web around Lance loosened and he fell down the hole as we climbed up the stairs.
"Laaaaaance!"
"Harvest the humans! Reduce them to meat." She said. "My children are climbing towards me and none shall stop them! So you might as well unmask, my clever little doctor-man and slayer-woman." We turned to her and unmasked and removed the cloak.
"I told you this wouldn't work." I told him.
"Oh well. Nice try. I've got you, Donna!" He aimed the sonic up at her and the web loosened.
"I'm gonna fall!" she screeched.
"You're gonna swing!" he told her. Sure enough, she swung right over the hold on of the strands of web and towards us.
"We've got ya!" we told her as she screamed. She swung right under us and smashed into the wall with a dull bang. I looked at her with a pain filled face as she sprawled out on her back below us.
"... oh. Sorry." He told her.
"Thanks for nothing." She told us.
"The doctor-man and slayer-woman amuses me." The Empress told us.
"Empress of the Racnoss - We give you one last chance. We can find you a planet. We can find you a place in the universe to coexist. Take that offer and end this now." The Doctor told her as I put my hands in my pockets.
"These men are so funny." She said.
"What's your answer?" he asked her.
"Oh - I'm afraid I have to decline." She laughed.
"What happens next is your own doing." He told her.
"I'll show you what happens next." She hissed. "At arms!" the robots raised their guns. "Take aim!" they aimed. "And—"
"Relax." The Doctor said quietly and the went limp.
"What did you do?" Donna asked him.
"Guess what I've got, Donna?" he asked looking down at her. "Pockets." He said producing the remote control out of his pocket.
"How did that fit in there?" she asked him.
"They're bigger on the inside." We told her.
"Robo-forms are not necessary. My children may feast on Martian flesh." The Empress told us.
"Oh, but we're not from Mars." He told her.
"Then where?" she asked.
"Our home planet is far away and long-since gone. But its name lives on. Gallifrey." He told her and she hissed full of anger.
"They murdered the Racnoss!" she yelled.
"We warned you. You did this." I warned her as I produced two handful of the exploding baubles.
"No! No! Don't! No!" she begged in a panic. I threw several handfuls of the baubles into the air and the Doctor controlled them with the remote he had picked up. He made some of them surround the Empress and the others smash into the corridor, destroying them and letting the water from the Thames rush through in torrents. Another bauble exploded causing a fire at the Empress' feet. She wailed as water flooded into the chamber and down the hole. "My children!" she cried as we stood and watched in silence, surrounded by fire and water, while the river swirled down the hole like it was a plughole. "No! My children! My children!"
"Doctor! Hunter! You can stop now!" Donna called up to us. We watched her writhe and wail in agony, full of pain and anger at those I'd lost.
"Hunter. We need to go." He told me. I turned to him and he just watched me. He wouldn't leave without me and we'd die if we stayed here.
"Come on! Time we got you out!" I called down to her and we all ran up the stairs, soaking wet. We ran back to the corridor where we'd climbed the ladder to see the flood barrier.
"But what about the Empress?" Donna asked us.
"She's used up all her Huon energy so she's defenceless!" I told her. We reached the top of the ladder and clamber out into the night. We all whooped and cheered in delight when we saw the last Racnoss had been destroyed. The Doctor wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into him, finally truly happy.
"Just... there's one problem." Donna said.
"What's that?" The Doctor asked her with a smile.
"We've drained the Thames." We looked in front of us to see that sure enough, the Thames was completely emptied of water. We collapsed into laughter once more.
The TARDIS materialized across the road from Donna's house and we all stepped outside.
"There we go. Told you she'd be all right. She can survive anything." The Doctor said patting the TARDIS.
"More than I've done." Donna said.
"Don't say that." I told her as the Doctor scanned her. "If you hadn't been there we could have died."
"All the Huon particles have gone. No damage, you're fine." He told her.
"Yeah, but apart from that... I missed my wedding, lost my job and became a widow on the same day. Sort of." She told us.
"We couldn't save him." I told her.
"He deserved it." She told us and I gave her a curious look. "No, he didn't. I'd better get inside. They'll be worried." She said looking at her house.
"Best Christmas present they could have." The Doctor told her. We watched her parents embrace each other through the window.
"Oh, no, we forgot - you hate Christmas." I said with a smile on my face.
"Yes, I do." She agreed.
"Even if it snows?" I asked her as the Doctor tweaked a hidden switch on the TARDIS and a ball of light shot out of the top and exploded like a firework in the sky into softly falling snow making Donna laugh with delight.
"I can't believe you did that!" she said with a large smile on her face.
"Oh, basic atmospheric excitation." The Doctor told her casually. We smiled at her and she smiled back at us.
"Merry Christmas." Donna said.
"And you. So... what will you do with yourself now?" The Doctor asked her and my smile grew.
"Not getting married for starters. And I'm not gonna temp anymore. I dunno... travel... see a bit more of planet Earth... walk in the dust. Just... go out there and do something." She told us.
"Well, you could always..." The Doctor broke off.
"What?" she asked us.
"... come with us..." I offered her.
"No." she told us with a smile. Okay, I wasn't expecting that.
"Okay." He said quickly.
"I can't..." she told us.
"No, that's fine." He said with false indifference.
"No, but really... everything we did today... do you live your life like that?" she asked us.
"... Not all the time." He said unconvincingly.
"I think you do. And I couldn't." she told us.
"But you've seen it out there. It's beautiful." I said thinking of the Big Bang.
"And it's terrible. That place was flooding and burning and they were dying and you two stood there like... I don't know... strangers. And then you made it snow - I mean, you two scare me to death!" she told us.
"Well then." He said after a short pause.
"Tell you what I will do though - Christmas dinner. Oh, come on." She told us.
"We don't do that sort of thing." He told her.
"You did it last year, you said so. And you might as well because Mum always cooks enough for twenty." She told us.
"Oh, all right then. But you go first, better warn them. And... don't say we're Martians." He told her. "We just have to park her properly, she might drift off to the Middle Ages. We'll see you in a minute." We disappeared inside the TARDIS and began the proses to dematerialize her.
"Doctor! Hunter!" we heard and I almost laughed. I stopped the engines and we popped our heads outside the door.
"Blimey, you can shout." He said to her.
"Am I ever gonna see you again?" she asked.
"Only if we're very lucky." I told her with a smile on my face.
"Just... promise me one thing; find someone." She told us.
"We don't need anyone." He told her.
"Yes, you do. Because sometimes, I think you need someone to stop the two of you. You would let yourselves go over the edge given the right emotions." She said and I nodded.
"Yeah." We agreed.
"Thanks then, Donna - good luck - and just... be magnificent." He told her with a smile.
"I think I will, yeah." She told us with a smile. We retreated back into the TARDIS and headed for the console hand in hand.
"Doctor? Hunter?" she called again and I laughed.
"Oh, what is it now?" he asked her as we opened the doors again.
"That sister of yours... what was her name?" Donna asked me.
"Her name was Rose." I told her. We closed the door again and I went to the console. Instead of the usual dematerialization, I had the TARDIS shoot up into the night sky.