Heronpaw's muscles ached. He ignored the discomfort. His whiskers longed to twitch. He held them still. His eyes burned with dryness. Still, he stared, unblinking, at the blackbird perched on a skeletal limb of a dead tree.
The bird had alighted there what felt like moons ago. Heronpaw knew that it was tempted by the smattering of beech husks that lay beneath a bramble bush on the forest floor, but it hadn't made a move for them. Yet.
The bird hopped about on its perch with a twitchy, nervous energy. Its head bobbed up and down and its glittering black eyes surveyed the ground. It clacked its beak once. Twice. It couldn't resist much longer.
With a final clatter of its beak the blackbird gave in. It stretched its wings and glided to the ground. It hardly made a sound. The bird hopped on nervous feet over to the beech husks. It froze.
Heronpaw held his breath.
The bird made a move for the seed.
Heronpaw sprang.
His patience was rewarded as claws and teeth met warm flesh. The blackbird had no time to make so much as a squeak before Heronpaw snapped its neck with a fluid motion.
The wind skittered by on impatient paws. The beech husks rolled away, an empty promise the bird had paid the ultimate price for.
Heronpaw began to give a silent prayer of thanks for the bird's life but paused halfway through. Thank you for this fresh-kill, who? Who did he trust now that StarClan seemed, well, untrustworthy if he was being honest with himself.
He settled on just 'thank you'. It seemed appropriate.
He shifted his kill into a more manageable grip and began backtracking through the forest. Along his route he dug up a single scrawny mouse he had caught earlier. Its little body was stiff and cold now, having rested too long in the crystalline snow. Heronpaw felt a stab of disappointment. He would have liked to bring warm prey back to camp. At least he had the blackbird.
Heronpaw glanced skyward to determine the position of the sun. It was already far past sunhigh. He had spent most of the day finding this much. He hoped that the others had been more successful.
He climbed his way up a root-strewn slope and followed the path towards the training hollow. The gritty snow under his paws crunched and scraped against his pads. He grimaced.
Dawnheart's success and the recovery of almost every cat in the Clan had instilled Heronpaw with new confidence. He had done the right thing. He had made a difference.
But was that all he could do? He thought of Snowbreeze and her fears of a darkness within the Clan. She had yet to appear to him again, but that did little to quell Heronpaw's own worries. What was lurking in CedarClan's future?
A movement in the undergrowth on his right caught Heronpaw off guard for a breath. He was half-ready to spring when he saw a familiar auburn head push its way through the spider-like branches of a hazel thicket.
Kestrelfeather disentangled himself from the shrub with a practiced ease. A vole swung by its tail from his teeth. He set the creature down and motioned for Heronpaw to do the same. Heronpaw laid his catch at his paws.
There was an awkward silence. Kestrelfeather opened his mouth to speak but closed it before any words came out. Heronpaw shifted his back paws. This was the first time he had been alone with his mentor since before he had gone to the Moontree. He searched his thoughts for something to say, but nothing presented itself.
Heronpaw glanced up to meet Kestrelfeather's gaze. The look held for just a moment before the warrior focused instead on Heronpaw's blackbird.
"That was an impressive catch." Kestrelfeather said. His voice was still strained by his fading illness but his breaths came deep and full.
"You saw?"
"I was passing by."
"…Thanks."
There was another silence. Heronpaw looked down at his blackbird. A memory drifted into his mind. His first solo catch as an apprentice. It had been a sparrow. Kestrelfeather had spent all day with Heronpaw as the young cat tried and failed to make a catch. The sun had almost set when Heronpaw had lost his third mouse, but Kestrelfeather hadn't given up.
You're stuck with me. He had said.
Heronpaw's very next attempt had been successful.
Heronpaw blinked and looked up at his uncle.
"I did what you taught me."
Kestrelfeather's green eyes shone with emotion. "You did it well."
An understanding passed between mentor and apprentice. The tightness in the air faded. Heronpaw gathered up his catch and took his place beside his mentor as they headed back to camp.
. . .
Heronpaw carried his catch to the fresh-kill pile. It was practically empty. Heronpaw's heart was still light though. All around him his Clanmates were finishing their evening meal. Most cats had already been fed.
The last two days had brought relief and joy for the cats of CedarClan. It felt like the Clan was coming back to life. The warrior's den was once again housing healthy, happy warriors.
By now, half of the cats who had been ill were cleared for everyday duties and those who still nested in Plumleaf's care were becoming stronger all the while. Ferntail was still among the sick but Plumleaf had assured Heronpaw that she was young and strong. She would recover soon.
Heronpaw nosed at the small fresh-kill pile. He was joined by Hawkpaw and Swiftwing as they returned from a hunt. Both cats had prey.
With a sigh of satisfaction Heronpaw dropped his offering on the fresh-kill pile and flopped to the cold ground. Recovering cats had big appetites. He and Hawkpaw had been hunting almost nonstop since sunrise.
"Well done today." Swiftwing praised the apprentices.
Hawkpaw bowed his head to his mentor. "Am I dismissed?"
Swiftwing flicked his tail.
Hawkpaw snatched up the squirrel he had caught and made a beeline for the apprentice's den. Morningpaw, now mostly recovered, was lying half in and out of the entrance. She greeted Hawkpaw with a tender touch of the muzzle. Together the apprentices settled down to eat. Their pelts brushed.
Heronpaw watched his brother from across the clearing. A memory of sitting side by side with Petalpaw on the slopes above Clan territory drifted into his mind. He remembered her scent and the warmth of her pelt.
"It's amazing how a cat will change for love."
Swiftwing's wistful mew wrenched Heronpaw out of his reminiscing.
Heronpaw looked up at the warrior. Swiftwing was watching his apprentice with pride in his eyes. The black and white warrior gave a shake of his head. "Thank StarClan." He added in a mutter. A purr rumbled in his throat.
He bade Heronpaw farewell and padded away to the nursery to be with his own mate and kits.
Heronpaw cast another glance at his brother and Morningpaw. Swiftwing was right. Gone was the irresponsible and unfocused Hawkpaw. He even looked older now, with his wide shoulders and full frame. Heronpaw briefly wondered if he looked like that too.
He scanned the clearing. He would give Hawkpaw and Morningpaw their privacy. Surely there was someone else he could share a meal with.
He turned and spotted Kestrelfeather grooming Runningriver under the Root-tree. Ferntail was still recovering in the medicine den. Crowfrost was nowhere to be seen.
A pebble of melancholy wedged itself in Heronpaw's heart. If only Petalpaw were here. He could tell her all about how he had snatched his mouse from the depths of an abandoned rabbit warren. He had been quite proud of that catch. She would purr and congratulate him on becoming a rabbit himself. He could almost hear her soft, teasing tone.
He flicked his ears, resigned to his solitude. A voice called out.
"Heronpaw!"
He straightened up to see Ferntail emerging from the medicine den. Joy skipped in Heronpaw's heart. He snatched up his blackbird and hurried over to her.
Her blue eyes lit up when she caught sight of him.
Heronpaw motioned with his tail and Ferntail followed him to a sheltered spot at the edge of the fern wall. She sat and marveled at Heronpaw's bird with wide eyes.
"Did you catch that?" she purred as Heronpaw settled down beside her.
"Yeah." He replied. He gave the she-cat a once over with his eyes.
She was thin and her pelt hung loosely, but the bright light of health shone in her eyes. She nosed at the prey eagerly and began plucking feathers with careful teeth.
"How are you feeling?" Heronpaw asked. He too started pulling feathers.
"Much better." Ferntail twitched her nose to dislodge some puffy down. She paused and turned her gaze to him. "Thanks to you and Dawnheart."
Heronpaw straightened his back and sat a little taller. The pride faded, however, as he looked into his mother's eyes.
"I'm sorry," Heronpaw dropped his gaze to his paws. "For worrying you."
Ferntail pressed her flank against Heronpaw's.
"You did what you felt was right. That's all I could ever ask for." Ferntail's purr rumbled through Heronpaw's body. She craned her neck and licked Heronpaw's ear. He glanced over to meet her eyes.
"I'm so proud of you." Her voice creaked a little, but her breath was strong in her body.
Heronpaw felt warmth spread from her touch to fill his body. Her pride radiated from her like the sun's rays on a warm Greenleaf day. How he had missed her. He nuzzled the top of her head.
They spent a while eating and talking. Ferntail wanted to know everything about his 'adventure'. Heronpaw gladly dove into the story. He left out Snowbreeze. There was no need to worry Ferntail about that.
He paused when he got to the part about the Moontree.
Ferntail waited patiently for him to continue.
Heronpaw remembered Dovekit's visit with stark detail. He could even recall how she smelled. Would it be right to remind Ferntail of her lost kit? Would she thank him or resent him? He recalled how he felt after he saw the little cat. He swallowed hard.
"I had a dream at the Moontree." He began.
Ferntail's eyes went wide but she didn't interrupt.
Heronpaw forced himself to continue through the tightness in his chest. "Mother, Dovekit came to me."
Ferntail stiffened.
Heronpaw chanced a glance at her.
Her eyes were still stretched wide. Heronpaw pushed forward.
"She told me that she has been watching over us." Heronpaw shuffled his paws. "She was so beautiful, Mother. Starlight shone in her eyes and in her fur. She had wisdom far beyond her time." The words spilled from Heronpaw like a waterfall. He wanted to give as many details to his mother as possible.
"She smelled just like I remember, and she still had kit-fuzz around her ears, but she was as graceful as a full-grown warrior."
Ferntail slowly bowed her head until Heronpaw could no longer see her face. Her body shook slightly.
Heronpaw kept going.
"She gave me advice and encouragement. It reminded me so much of you. She even showed me a little bit of StarClan's forest. It's amazing there. It's Greenleaf all the time. She never goes hungry or cold or…" He trailed off as Ferntail placed a paw on his side.
Heronpaw held his breath as she raised her head to look at him.
Her eyes were shining with soft gratitude. Her whiskers trembled as she searched his face. Heronpaw's anxiety melted away and was replaced with the same melancholy he had felt at the roots of the Moontree.
Heronpaw continued his story as Ferntail rested against his side. She listened with alert ears but her eyes were closed. A look of contentment settled on her soft features.
The sun was almost set by the time Heronpaw had finished his tale. Mother and son took turns washing each other's ears as another cold night set in. All around them their Clanmates braved the chill, staying out of their dens in favor of milling about the clearing.
Hawkpaw was sitting with Morningpaw at the mouth of the apprentice's den, Swiftwing was grooming Honeyleaf by the nursery as their near full-grown kits played keep-the-moss-ball-away with Specklepaw, and Kestrelfeather, Runningriver, and Cloudpelt were chatting by the side of the fresh-kill pile. Even the grumpy Slatefang was lying contentedly with Cherrynose at the mouth of the warrior's den.
Heronpaw briefly wondered why there were still so many cats out. Then he remembered what day it was.
"May all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highbranch for a Clan meeting!" Blizzardstar's call rang out through the night air. Almost at once the Clan began forming a crowd around the Highbranch. They had been waiting for this.
Heronpaw jumped to his paws. He made to hurry away when he paused. He glanced at Ferntail who gave him an amused nod. Heronpaw bid her goodbye and took off. He bounded over to where Hawkpaw and Morningpaw were taking their seats before the Highbranch. He settled beside them. They only had the time to nod a greeting before the meeting began.
"Cats of CedarClan." Blizzardstar boomed. The Clan fell silent. "Before I announce who will join me at the Gathering, we have a few things to take care of."
A ripple of movement passed over the Clan. Heronpaw craned his neck along with others in the crowd, looking for some hint about what Blizzardstar was going to say.
"Tonight, we say goodbye to our guests from Twolegplace." Blizzardstar said. "We extend our gratitude to them for their efforts in bringing Dawnheart back to us." The leader paused and dipped his head.
Heronpaw shifted on his haunches to get a better view of where Dawnheart was sitting with the kittypets near the front of the Clan. The Twolegplace cats looked uncomfortable but pleased as the warriors around them bowed their heads and murmured words of thanks.
Talonscore stood tall at the kittypets' side. His yellow gaze swept over his Clanmates, silently daring any of them to disrespect the cats who had helped save his kits.
As Heronpaw was pleased to see, Talonscore needn't worry. Genuine purrs rose from the Clan and the kittypets began to relax amidst the praise.
"May StarClan light your paths." Blizzardstar called out over the muttering. "You will always be friends of CedarClan."
Blizzardstar turned away from the kittypets and continued. "In happier news, Runningriver would like me to announce her retirement to the nursery."
Heronpaw blinked in surprise and turned to share a wide-eyed look with Hawkpaw. He had known that Kestrelfeather and Runningriver had shared something special but he hadn't expected this.
The Clan burst into purrs and meows of gladness. Heronpaw spotted Kestrelfeather and Runningriver on the other side of the crowd. Ferntail, Honeyleaf, and Cloudpelt wasted no time in flocking around the silver warrior. Whiteshade gave Kestrelfeather a friendly shove while Swiftwing lifted his muzzle and gave a short, excitable yowl.
"We're going to be uncles!" Hawkpaw burst out.
"Cousins." Morningpaw corrected with a purr.
Heronpaw nudged his brother. "I'll only be an uncle when you two have kits, Hawkpaw."
Hawkpaw's eyes rounded and his mouth dropped open. Morningpaw gave an indignant squeak.
"When we have –?" Hawkpaw stammered. He glanced at Morningpaw and seemed to lose the ability to speak at all. Morningpaw turned, wide-eyed, and watched as Runningriver was fawned over by her fellow she-cats. In a tiny movement that Heronpaw barely caught sight of, the two apprentices moved close enough that their pelts brushed.
Heronpaw twitched his ears in satisfaction.
Blizzardstar closed out the meeting by announcing the cats chosen to go to the gathering. To Heronpaw's excitement he, as well as his brothers, were among the group.
The Clan meeting broke up into a few groups of cats gathered around and chatting. Heronpaw padded over and wished the kittypets' well. Kibby gave him an overenthusiastic nuzzle that almost knocked Heronpaw over. Oliver and Fitzy gave him polite nods.
Leaving the kittypets to their closer friends, Heronpaw hovered at the edge of Kestrelfeather's crowd until he found his chance. He squeezed past Elkheart and Shadowgrove as they moved away and found himself face-to-face with Kestrelfeather.
"Congratulations." Heronpaw said.
Kestrelfeather choked out a purr. "Thanks." His green eyes were wide and his posture was slightly sunken.
Heronpaw cocked his head. "Do you want to be congratulated?" He asked carefully.
Kestrelfeather balked. "Of course!"
"He's just a little nervous!" Swiftwing crowed. He gave Kestrelfeather's shoulders a thump with a forepaw. "Being a good warrior has scat-all to do with being a good father."
Kestrelfeather shoved the black and white warrior away with a friendly snarl. "I guess that's why you're such a good father, then!"
Heronpaw stifled a snort of mirth. He turned to let Kestrelfeather have time with other well-wishers.
He slipped between his clamoring Clanmates and padded away from the congregated cats. He paused and looked over his shoulder at his Clan.
They were all here, gathered together in happiness, thinking that the worst had passed them by. Heronpaw sincerely hoped they were right.
But the darkness of what he knew cast a shadow over the content, turning it sour.
Heronpaw watched these cats that he loved and imagined what they would say if they knew what he knew. Would they be upset with him for not speaking up? Would they be afraid? Would they even believe him? These new worries set his belly churning anew. Snowbreeze had warned him that the darkness was already within the Clan. How could he know if the cat he confided in was who he needed them to be?
He knew that he couldn't keep this secret forever. He was going to need some help. Someone to cover for him. An extra pair of eyes. A second witness.
Heronpaw thought hard as he watched Hawkpaw talking animatedly to Kestrelfeather and Swiftwing. He seemed to be reenacting a particularly acrobatic catch he had made earlier. His gray eyes remained bright and unabashed even as he failed the move in spectacular fashion.
Heronpaw purred. Not everything had changed about his brother.
Something clicked in Heronpaw's brain.
Hawkpaw.
He was the perfect choice. There was no way that the tabby apprentice was being influenced by something evil. Everything about him radiated Hawkpaw-ness. He would keep Heronpaw's secret if his brother asked him to, and he had no power within the Clan. His knowing wasn't a threat.
Heronpaw turned away, determination steadying his squirming belly.
He wasn't going to be alone anymore.