Chapter 6: The Brewmaster and The Princess

Dane and Butters were returning to Kupa Keep after having recruited the last kid, Tweek, by helping him finish his chores, (which involved them beating up meth heads.) They approached Cartman's House, eager to get their mission done. The two entered the house and crossed the kitchen, entering the backyard that served as the kingdom. Around the keep itself was every fighter of Zaron, including Token and Tweek, who had somehow beat them there. Cartman was in front of the keep, ready to make a speech.

"Ah, Douchebag and Paladin Butters have returned, now we can start. While their efforts were valiant, it appears Feldspar has been captured by the foul Warden Mackey and his Ginger Horde. We now must mount a rescue mission, for our plan to regain the Stick of Truth cannot succeed without him." Cartman explained.

"Aw, but the last time we broke Craig out of detention we all got in trouble!" Tweek objected.

"We don't have a choice. Without Crai-I mean Feldspar's lock picking skills we won't be able to infiltrate where they're keeping the Stick. Now, since Douchebag and Butters were able to recruit Sir Token and Tweek, the task of rescuing Feldspar shall fall to them." Cartman stated.

"I keep telling you, my name is Da- "

"Yes, yes, Douchebag, we are all aware of your CHOSEN name." Cartman interrupted. Dane growled.

"Oh yeah, before I forget, word has reached me of your slaying of The Great White Beast during your retrieval of Sir Token, as well as your defeat of The Black Watcher. These awesome and hilarious deeds have earned you the title of Sir Douchebag!" Cartman said, raising his hands in the air. Everyone clapped and cheered.

"In recognition of your new knighthood, you can buy new items from the armory. Oh, and Tweek said to see him in his new shop to the right of the Keep, he has something for you." Cartman explained. "Get stocked up and retrieve Feldspar quickly, we don't have much time left 'till curfew." He added, walking back into the keep.

"Fucking asshole." Dane said, walking towards the Armory, where the kid who had run the stable was now working. "Hello, valiant knights. I'm Scott, welcome to my shop." The kid greeted, his voice having a noticeable lisp. Dane perused his goods, seeing that there was indeed, new items in stock. "Hmm, I'm gonna need something to cover my face, maybe one of these helmets." Dane thought, and picked one up. It looked like a football helmet someone had stuck a broom's head on to make it look like a knight's helm. "Ah! The KKK Fighter's Helmet! A fine choice! Anything else?" Dane looked over the money he had, only one dollar. "Uh, I only have one buck. Will that cover it?" He asked.

Scott took the dollar. "Normally no, but since you seem like a nice guy, I'll help ya out. Oh! And here." He then brought out a set of armor. "Can't have you go into Mackey's Dungeon ill equipped. It's on the house." Scott said, winking.

"Thanks man, I'll pay you back later, promise." Dane said, smiling. He took the armor and put it on over his clothes, then donned the helmet. He then headed over to where Cartman said Tweek's shop was. It appeared to be an assortment of chemical and brewing equipment placed under a dark blue tarp held up by what appeared to be broken off chair legs. On a shelf were several strangely glowing vials and jars, and on the ground were many empty ones. Tweek himself had his back turned, filling a jar with a glowing green liquid.

"Holy crap, it looks like a meth lab mixed with a coffee shop. What the hell is all this?" Dane asked. Tweek shrieked and turned around. "Oh, it's just you guys AH! Welcome to my Brew Shop AH! Here I make stuff that can help the other members of the K.K.K. in their battles. All I ask in return are ingredients. The stuff I have here was made using AH! Ingredients I got from my dad, but now I'm out, and all these are supposed to be shipped AH! To the men getting ready for the Stick's AH! Retrieval." Tweek explained.

"Ooohkay. So, what kind of potions can we get?" Dane asked.

"AH! I have healing potions, AH! Power potions, AH! Speed potions, AH! And revive potions. The last one can bring back anyone who falls unconscious. I can give you one for free this one time. Which do you want?" Tweek asked.

Dane put a hand to his chin. "Hmmm, gimme a revive. Odds are we'll need one if we're going up against this Mackey guy's army."

"Sure, AH! Here ya go!" Tweek then handed him a vial filled with a yellow, glowing liquid. Dane inspected it. "I thought these were pretend but…I get a weird feeling just by looking at it." He then pocketed it. "If it's real the it'll be nice having some assurance that we won't be screwed if either of us faints."

"This is so neato, Tweek! But why'd you open a shop? And how'd you learn how to make this stuff." Butters asked.

"Yeah, I was also curious about that." Dane added.

"Oh, AH! Well, since the game began a lot of us have been getting hurt AH! I felt bad about that AH! And I wanted to AH! Help but didn't know how. Then yesterday, a weird looking dog dropped this book it had on its back. AH! I picked it up and saw it had a ton of potion recipes in it. AH! I know how to brew and mix stuff so I figured I could use it to make potions to help you guys. AH! OH GOD!" Tweek explained, clutching his head at the last word. He then drank some coffee from a mug he had set on the ground near him and seemed to ease somewhat.

"A weird looking dog just dropped a book containing potion recipes?" Dane asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"ERRK! It might have been a cat, I'm not sure. There's nothing in the book that says who it was meant for, and I haven't seen the cat-dog-thing since I got the book. I tried looking for it but found nothing. ERRAGH!" Tweek explained. "Oh and before I forget, here's a list of the ingredients for the potions. You should be able to find them around here." He said, giving them a piece of paper that had the names of the ingredients as well as crudely drawn pictures beside each one.

"Well we'll leave you to it. Thanks for the potion man." Dane said, walking away and waving goodbye. "Seeya Tweek!" Butters said, walking away backwards and waving both his hands.

"Good luck! ERRAK!"

Dane and Butters were just about to exit before someone called out to them. "Hey! Wait up!"

The two looked behind them to see Princess Kenny running up to them, holding a bow. He panted as he finally reached them. "(I'm coming too.") He said in his female voice.

"But milady! You're needed here! The men are in dire need of your radiant beauty to inspire them!" Butters exclaimed. Dane could barely keep himself from laughing.

"(Yes, I know, but I have a feeling my charms and bow will be needed to rescue Feldspar. And what kind of princess would I be if I didn't help those who need me?)" Kenny explained, striking a pose.

Dane quirked an eyebrow. "What's up with this guy? Is he gay or just confused?" Dane then became aware both were looking at him expectantly. He cleared his throat.

"Um, sure, your highness. You may come with us. Just be careful."

"(Excellent! Now let us be off! Our brother in arms is waiting!)" Kenny said enthusiastically, walking ahead of the two regally.

Dane and Butters shrugged and followed.