Chapter 7: Dungeons and Gingers Part 1

Dane, Butters and Kenny were now standing outside South Park Elementary, it was a pretty average looking school, double storied, double doors, a flagpole standing sentinel outside. Dane however couldn't shake the feeling that something was waiting for them in there, something way more dangerous than any of them expected. He could feel it in the air. He was torn out of his thoughts when Butters put a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

Dane shook his head. "Yeah, it's just...I feel like we're gonna find something dangerous in there." Dane stated, Butters put his hand to his mouth in worry while Kenny just snorted.

"(Yeah, Mackey's ginger lapdogs are gonna be SUPER dangerous. Watch out! They might eat you! HA!)" The wannabe princess mocked, but then calmed down and waved off Dane's concerns. "(But seriously, don't worry. Mackey's only got a few ginger hall monitors in there that we can handle. We go in, free Craig, then get out. Simple!)"

"Yeah, Dane, you're probably just nervous because it's your first dungeon." Butters said.

Dane drew his sword. "Guess you guys are right, now let's go free our thief." Dane stated, going toward the doors, the other two kids following behind him. He then pushed open the double doors and came face to face with an empty room.

"(Huh, thought there'd be at least one here.)" Kenny said, looking around.

"Mackey usually posts them everywhere on detention days, why'd he do it different this time?" Butters asked, readying his hammer.

The feeling Dane felt before was greater now, he could practically smell the danger around them, and was looking everywhere trying to find the source. He looked up at the second floor balcony but saw nothing, nothing but the shimmering air around one of the do-

Wait, shimmering?

"AMBUSH!" Dane yelled, readying his sword. The hiding hall monitors removed their camouflage tarps and revealed themselves, there were about ten archers up on the balcony, and forty warriors around them holding clubs and clipboard shields. All of them were wearing a crude form of armor made up of cardboard with lunch trays duck-taped to them. Worst yet, the archers appeared to have fireworks attached to their arrows. Kenny and Butters huddled closer to Dane, both readying their weapons.

"I hate to say I told you so..." Dane began.

"(Oh don't rub it in!)" Kenny snapped, readying an arrow.

Meanwhile, in detention, the captive class looked up at the sound of explosions somewhere else in the school.

"HOLY SHIT! What was that?" One kid said.

"That's probably my rescue party." Craig said, looking at his watch. He was dressed in a thief outfit, complete with knives.

"No it isn't you little punk. Well, okay it's BECAUSE of your rescue party, but they aren't going to get to you! Someone tipped me off to your friends' little rescue attempt and I decided to get a little creative this time. My hall monitors have a bunch of new weapons and stronger armor, my Captain is probably the strongest kid in the school now, so there's no chance your friends can get to you. Now shut up and study!" Mr. Mackey, the school counselor, ordered. He was a big-headed, balding man with glasses, a green shirt, black tie, and dark green pants.

"Don't be so sure, I hear they have an ace in the hole." Craig said nonchalantly, picking up his book.

"HOLY SHIT!" Dane cried as the group narrowly dodged the volley of explosive arrows. This made difficult as all the hall monitor warriors around them were deliberately keeping them boxed in to keep them from moving. Dane growled and did a spinning sword attack to try and get them to back off, it worked and gave them some breathing room.

"Kenny! Get those fuckers on the second floor!" Dane barked as one brave ginger warrior charged forward, Dane blocked the blow and reposed, then followed up with several slashes and a kick to the stomach, which sent him flying back. Two others came forward roaring at them, Dane once again blocked the blow, Butters did the same with the second. Kenny readied his arrow and aimed up, but two warriors charged at him and forced him to jump away. Kenny released the arrow into one's eye, causing him to scream and clutch it. His friend screamed and charged at the princess, but Kenny nimbly dodged and elbowed him in the back of the head hard, knocking him out. The hooded boy looked over and saw his allies were quickly being overwhelmed by the sheer number of gingers, who were now practically dog piling on the two. Dane looked like he was going to go berserk, but given how outnumbered he was it wouldn't do much, while Butters was just desperately swinging his hammer trying to keep them off him. Kenny looked up toward the second floor and saw the archers were getting ready to fire another volley, which would surely finish them.

Kenny notched three arrows and fired them in the group of ginger warriors that were attacking Dane, causing some to scream and giving the Fighter the opening he needed to tear into them with his sword, slashing them in their chests, faces, and legs. Kenny did the same for Butters, picking off some with another volley. Butters, still panicking, kept swing and wound up knocking some more out. Ignoring that, Kenny went up to Dane.

"(Hey! You're strong right? Can you throw me up there?)" He asked, pointing toward the archers, who were almost ready for their next volley.

Dane's expression seemed uncertain. "I-I don't know..."

"(What do you mean you don't know?! Didn't you kill a bear?)" Kenny asked incredulously.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if that was me or just the momentum or..." Dane began, but Kenny cut him off.

"(Well we don't have any other choice, we're probably gonna die if we don't do something something. So throw me!)" Kenny ordered, Dane nodded. He grabbed Kenny and held him like a spear, then aimed for the balcony. With a roar he threw Kenny, who soared through the air majestically, catching the attention of the ginger warriors below.

"Oooh, she's so pretty."

"I'd love to tap that."

"Damn! Look at that hair!"

Dane got close to Butters. "They know he's a dude right?" Dane whispered.

"Nah, just let them dream though." Butters replied. Dane shrugged.

Kenny's "beauty" also captivated the archers, so much so that they did nothing as he approached, and also when he landed on one and promptly headbutted him. The princess then got up and shot arrows into each archer's private parts, knocking them out of the battle. He then took a few of their explosive arrows and got them ready to fire, the took aim at the crowd below. Dane, seeing this, grabbed Butters and ran to the area below the second floor balcony. Kenny then unleashed the volley of explosive arrows, breaking up the small army, he then continued firing until all the ginger warriors were down, alive yet smoldering. Dane and Butters emerged from below the balcony, taking in the carnage.

"Damn." Dane stated.

"Yeah, Mackey sure is going all out this time. I wonder why?" Butters wondered.

"(CAATCH ME!)" They heard Kenny's voice cry out. Dane immediately went to where he traced the wannabe princess's voice. He managed to catch him, holding the boy, ahem, princess style.

"(Oh, my hero!)" Kenny breathed in his female voice.

"Kiss me and I drop you." Dane stated bluntly.

"(Aww, you tease.)" The princess said as Dane put him down.

The kids in detention heard another explosion ring out, followed by a string of consecutive ones, each punctuated by screams.

"HA! You see Craig! Your little friends got their asses whooped and now my hall monitors are gonna bring them here! How do you-"

But Mackey was cut off when his walkie-talkie suddenly flared to life with a ragged voice speaking through it.

"First...battalion...failed...intruders...heading into..hallway." The transmission then cut off.

"Heeere they come." Craig stated, looking at his watch.

"NO THEY AREN'T! I still have three battalions that were ready to kick their little keesters into next week!" Mackey then got out his walkie-talkie. "Bronze Team! Get ready! They're coming your way!"