Chapter 9: Dungeons and Gingers Part 3
Kenny carried Dane and Butters into the safety of the Janitor's closet, he laid them down gently on the floor and thought hard on what to do now. Without help he couldn't hope to finish the quest, all that jumping and shooting wore him out, and these two didn't look like they would be able to fight any time soon.
"Shit." Kenny thought, he then began to rummage through Dane's pockets. "Maybe one of them has something that could help me, a weapon or..." He then got hold of something smooth in Dane's pocket and pulled it out. It was a glowing yellow vial that had a label that read "REVIVE."
"Huh? Where'd he get this?" Kenny thought, but then shook his head. "Doesn't matter, if it can at least get them on their feet I don't care where it came from." Kenny then uncorked the vial and gave half to Dane and then half to Butters. After a few seconds, the two boys' veins lit up with yellow light and their wounds began to heal right before the wannabe princess's eyes. Butters' teeth regrew the broke off parts and Dane's nose straightened itself. Once both were healed the light vanished, leaving an amazed Kenny gaping.
Dane was the first to wake, gasping as he shot up to his feet, reaching for his missing sword, but only grasping air. He then looked around confusedly. "Where am I? Where'd that pitching machine go? Last I remember I was blocking it with my sword, then..." Dane's eyes then lit up in remembrance. "Aw crap..."
Butters awoke next, groaning. "Ow...everything's sore..." He whined, rubbing his forehead.
Kenny just stared at them dumbly, and looked down at the vial in his hand. "What the fuck's in this?"
Dane broke him out of his stupor. "Hey, Kenny." He called.
The boy-princess looked at him. "(Yeah?)"
"Can I see that vial?"
"(Um..sure.)"
Kenny handed the container to Dane, who read the label and inspected it. "Yep, definitely Tweek's potion."
"(Wait, TWEEK made that? How? It healed all your wounds AND woke you up! What'd he put in it?)" Kenny exclaimed.
Dane shook his head as he pocketed the vial. "No idea, but I'll check later, he gave us a list of ingredients in case we wanted him to make more. In the mean time, we have a quest to complete." Dane then exited the janitor's closet, Butters and Kenny following. The three passed all the unconscious gingers and made their way back to the pitching machine, where Dane gathered up the pieces of his sword and Butters retrieved his hammer. While Dane's weapon was destroyed save for the hilt, Butters weapon was perfectly fine. The fighter looked at the broken weapon sadly, his paladin friend noticed and clapped him on the shoulder.
"Aw, I'm sorry about your sword, Dane, I know how hard it was to get."
Dane smiled at his friend. "Thanks, but don't worry, I think I may be able to fix it. I'm good at crafting stuff, so if I get the right tools, I might be able put it back together." He then pocketed the pieces of his sword. "'Till then, I'll just use my fists." He then bumped said fists together.
"(If you two are done.)" Kenny interrupted. "(I can fill you in on what we need to do, Mackey's locked himself and the kids inside the cafeteria and we need three keys to unlock it, one bronze, one silver, and one gold. I got the bronze and put it in, now we need to find the other two.)"
Dane put hand to his chin, thinking. "Hmm, now if I were Mackey, where would I hide a silver key?"
He was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the sound of a chainsaw revving up. Butters and Kenny cried out in surprise, Dane looked over and gasped.
A squadron of hall monitors had shown up in front of them, each was armored the same as the ones before, but now a few had more powerful weapons, such as cattle prods, nail guns, and the leader had, of course, a chainsaw.
"HOLY SHIT!" All of them yelled.
The leader stepped forward. "Yeah, that's right. Mr. Mackey gave us clearance to use equipment from the utility closet. You don't stand a chance now!"
"So what, are you gonna kill us? That seems just a bit extreme don't you think?" Dane said, trying to think of a way out. Without his weapon they were at a disadvantage, and even if he did have his sword, what good was it against a chainsaw? If they were going to beat them they needed a trump card...
It was then Dane remembered they did have one.
"Hope I'm right about how strong it is, though." He thought as he began to focus.
"No no we're not gonna KILL you guys. Just brutally maim you, maybe cut off a limb or-hey! What are you doing?" The leader asked as Dane was visibly straining himself.
"Oh, nothing, just...breathing in." He said, smirking.
The leader glared at him and revved up his chainsaw. "DON'T YOU BE SMART WITH ME! SILVER BATTALION! ATT-"
"FUS RO DAH!" Dane then unleashed a cloud of fart gas toward the gingers, blinding them and causing them to gag.
"OH GOD IT'S HORRIBLE!
"I SWALLOWED WHEN IT FLEW INTO MY MOUTH!
"IT BURNS! IT BURRRRRNS!"
Dane, unaffected by his own stink, dove into the cloud and immediately attacked the blinded leader, grabbing his arms and pulling him forward for a head butt that broke his nose. This caused him to cry out and drop the chainsaw, Dane then followed up with several hard punches to the gut and knees to the balls. He then threw him into another hall monitor who was holding a cattle prod, knocking him to the floor. Another hall monitor, apparently strong enough to focus in the stink, attacked him with his own cattle prod. Dane dodged and dove for the other monitor's cattle prod, grabbed it, and shoved it into the attacking monitor's neck, causing him to fall to the ground convulsing. Dane moved quickly through the cloud, disabling the hall monitor's before they knew what hit them. When the smoke cleared, Butters and Kenny's saw yet another pile of knocked out gingers in the hallway, Dane standing with his back to them, activated cattle prod in hand.
"(Holy shit, dude.)" Kenny said in awe. Dane just slipped the cattle prod onto his belt and reached rummaged through the gingers' pockets, finding the silver key and inspecting it.
Butters pumped his hand into the air in triumph. "Alright! Now we just need the gold key!"
But Dane threw the key toward one end of the hallway.
Butters gasped, Kenny glared. "(What the hell's wrong with you? We need that!)" The boy-princess complained, but Dane just walked up to the chainsaw the lieutenant had dropped. "That's where you're wrong Kenny..." He said, picking up the chainsaw. "They just gave us the master key." He then revved it up.
Everyone in the cafeteria shook in horror as they heard the noises right behind the doors. Well, almost everyone, Craig was just looking at his watch, hoping that he could get out of here before 1:00.
"Sounds like your guys are getting their asses kicked pretty badly out there, Mackey. Maybe you should just let us go. Kenny might not follow through on his threat if you do." He stated coolly. Mackey whirled around and shot him a look that could kill, the normally cool-headed counselor looked ready to do so to, his eyes almost seeming to glow red. Needless to say it gave Craig pause.
"Like hell I'll let you go! In fact, because of your little escape attempt, YOU'RE GONNA GET DETENTION FOR THE WHOLE YEAR! ALL OF YOU! INCLUDING THOSE FRIENDS OF YOURS! MM-KAY!" Mackey roared. "AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO CLEAN TOO! MM-KAY! IN FACT I'LL FIRE THE JANITOR AND MAKE YOU ALL DO HIS WORK! YEAH! AND JUST TO DRILL IT IN I'LL SHIT IN THE TOILETS AFTER-" But before his rant could continue, a chainsaw blade burst through the double doors, pushing them open. Standing in the doorway were Butters, Kenny, and some kid in a busted football helmet holding the chainsaw no one recognized. Said chainsaw was busted, presumably from cutting the chain.
The kids in the cafeteria cheered and ran out the now open doorway, happy to get away from the raging counselor. Craig was the last to try and leave, but suddenly a red energy wall emerged in front of him, knocking onto his behind. "What the fuck?" He asked incredulously. Craig then turned around and gasped like everyone else when he saw Mackey was now glowing red, his eyes looking like a demon's and betraying nothing but rage. "YOU LITTLE SNOWMASHERS! YOU FUCKED WITH ME FOR THE LAST TIME! DAY IN AND DAY OUT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT! WELL GUESS WHAT? NO MORE! NO MORE LISTENING TO YOUR PETTY DRAMA! OR SUICIDAL BULLSHIT! OR WHINING! YOU ALL CAN BURN." Mackey's body was then consumed by red energy. "IN." The red energy then exploded, and everyone covered their eyes. "HELL!" When they uncovered them, they saw they were now in a red-violet void with chunks of the school floating within, on the blackboards were words like HATE, AGGRAVATION, ANNOYANCE, REPETITION, APATHY, SORROW. With the skies of this void they could see chattering mouths with cynical smiles, all whispering words the kids couldn't understand. In the middle of all of this were the kids, standing on a floating fragment of land that looked like the floor of the school's lobby. Atop them was a red energy orb, which formed into the shape of some vague humanoid shape with horns, then dropped down onto them with a crash, causing smoke to fly everywhere. When it cleared, a huge minotaur was standing before them, he had mackey's glasses, tie, and green armor covering his torso and legs. His eyes still glowed red, and he roared with what sounded like every ounce of anger he could muster. "NOW DIE!"