TW: abuse

Tomoko somehow got word of what she said to Satoru. Nana didn't know how—nor did she really care—but she knew one of the rats around the complex was basically in affection she could never wish for. A dry cough escaped her cracked lips, her throat screaming at her to drink something, anything, but Nana couldn't move. Her body was so sore, it was a pain she'd never felt before. For hours and hours and hours on end she writhed against the cement floor. Hell, she didn't even know what day it was anymore—or if it'd only been minutes after she'd been thrown in here.

The Oguri Clan was known for keeping their Curse Technique silent. No one used it unless absolutely necessary, no one spoke about it unless they were training, and the practices and history of their clan was only taught when the child reached an age where they truly understood the consequences of failing to keep silent. It was against their practice to speak about what curse one held—it only truly mattered at the worst moments—and it became law to sentence to death those who used their Technique against others.

Tomoko, it seemed, was above those laws.

The night she arrived back from visiting her parents, she'd thrown Moe into a spare room, locking the door and placing guards in front of it. They were told, as Tomoko recollected later, smiling down at Nana, that if Nana were to call for Moe, to kill her. Maybe that was my first mistake, Nana briefly thought, dry heaving before spitting crimson. I should've never gotten attached to Moe. She could only follow obediently as Tomoko clawed her wrist, nails digging crescent curves into her fair skin and twisting them every now-and-then, and dragged her to the spare room in the East Wing.

No one went to the East Wing. Nana realized that there was no reason to even bother calling for Akito.

"You insolent little whore," Tomoko had screeched, throwing Nana against a dresser in the room. Her head whipped against the knob, a soft crunch heard, and Nana fought the urge to cry. It'll be over soon. "After everything I've done for you! You…you ruin it for friends."

A vase shattered above her, shards showering her. Squeezing her eyes shut, Nana held her breath as glass dug into her scalp, stray pieces caressing her cheek with their gentle blades. It hurts, her teeth dug into her lip as she tried to find a way to ignore the pain, it hurts—I…I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go back home. But not the home she'd formed here with Moe and Akito and Shoko. She wanted to go back.

"Friends." Tomoko hissed, lithe, pale fingers wrapping around her throat and forcing her to look into Tomoko's eyes. They were brown—the same shade as Moe's—and, if it weren't were for the hatred and disgust that darkened them, Nana could've very easily pretended it was her instead. "Friends." Tomoko said again, tightening her grip and Nana's breath stuttered, "Are nothing to you. They don't care about you, Nana. How could they care about you when your father—the Head of the Clan—could care less about what's happening to you."

Ah, black dots danced in her vision, so he does know where I am.

"Even Moe, that slutty, little—"

"Don't" Nana garbled, coughing and gagging as Tomoko's hand flexed threateningly, "Don't talk about Moe."

What am I doing?

A laugh rang out: shrill, empty, cold, and utterly Tomoko's. Nana's blood ran cold, chills spilling over her skin and her heart caught in her chest. What have I done.

"You ungrateful bitch!" A loud crack sounded, Nana's vision going white. Glass dug into her skull, the thousands of needles pressing harder and harder into her. Blinking, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to gain back her sight before Tomoko acted again—"Moe?" A slap rang out, Nana's head falling to the right. Her cheek was burning and something that tasted like copper flooded her mouth. Tomoko's grip was unrelenting and Nana merely sat there as Tomoko struck her again and again and again…

I want to go home now.

"You think that Moe cares about you? You think that she's actually upset that you're gone?"

I know she's upset—she's probably crying right now.

Nails dragged themselves across her face, her skin hot and uncomfortable. The blood that dripped down, smearing against the marks, felt cool. Nana never realized that there'd be a day where bleeding would comfort her.

"Listen to me when I tell you this, Nana." A hand fisted in her hair, yanking her head back as her body screamed at her to get away—to try and fight it. Nana already knew there was no use. It was hard to even open her eyes. Her mind was swimming, her tongue felt heavy, and she honestly had no idea what Tomoko had done to her. Everything had become a blur. Swallowing the pool of metal in her mouth, she somehow managed to crack open her eyes.

Tomoko was beaming down at her, crimson smeared across her cheek, and her eyes glowing with what Nana could only discern as joy. She's crazy, Nana decided, wishing nothing more than to sleep, she's fucking insane…maybe that's why Akito doesn't do anything.

"You were a mistake." Nana already knew this. "And you still are. From the moment I learned of your being, I wanted nothing more than for you to die. Do you know how many times I tried to kill you? Do you know the amount of medications and teas I smuggled in? The number of maids who died for your existence? Even though you're meant to marry Gojou Satoru, I wish you'd just die. Nothing would make me happier than for you to die. Nothing would make your father happier and nothing would make your mother happier. From the moment of your conception, you've been nothing but a disgusting, pathetic mistake. So, Nana, do us all a favor and just die. I'll make it easy for you."

Nana's nose wrinkled, brows twitching in an attempt to furrow. What?

When Moe was finally allowed to get her, it had been—as she later learned—a week. Nana only watched as Moe rushed to her, face blotchy with tears and lips torn and slip.

"Nana!" She sobbed, reaching for her and, without thinking, Nana flinched away.

"Please don't." She said, voice breathy and breaking, barely above a whisper. Moe's completely crumbled after that, and Nana only watched. She watched as the older woman started to hyperventilate, wails ripping from her throat and chest catching as she refused to give herself a moment to breath. She watched as Moe cradled herself, pressing her head against the ground and she cried and shrieked.

It was weird, Nana came to realize, because she found that she didn't feel anything at all.

"I'm sorry," Moe wept, the words nearly indistinguishable, "I'm so sorry, Nana. I didn't…it's all my fault. Everything is my fault. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—"

"Stop." Nana managed to gargle out, joints crying and screaming at her as she forced herself to sit, "It's not like you could've done anything."

Perhaps I shouldn't have said that, she wondered, vision going sideways, as Moe suddenly stopped her tears and screeches. The woman looked at her as if she were seeing her for the first time, eyes wide and full of horror. What, Nana wanted to ask, why are you looking at me like that?

"I—I," Moe was stumbling over her words, blinking rapidly, her face growing paler and paler.

"It doesn't matter." She barely managed to say, her body giving out, and her head cracking against the cement floor.

day three

A dynamic had been shifted in the household, one that was making Nana frown with discomfort. It'd been two days since Moe was able to see her and Nana had, much to the shock of everyone, asked for a new maid for the next two weeks. She'd holed herself in her room, locking the door and forbidding anyone to see her unless it was an absolute emergency. Akito hadn't even bothered to visit (Nana wasn't sure if she was surprised or not. For the first time since she came here, she realized that her father wasn't her sanctuary. She had realized that maybe he didn't care about her). At the news of her sudden dismissal, Moe had pounded on the door, beginning Nana to let her in—trying to bargain her position back. The new maid, a truly lovely girl who was two years older than Nana named Etsuko, always sent her away. Even when Moe screamed at her, threatening to hit her or get her fired, Etsuko ignored her.

"No!" Moe was screeching again, her voice shredding Nana's ears and causing the young girl to curl up tightly in her bed, pressing the pillow around her head so harshly that the sound of her heartbeat was audible. "Let me see her! I'm allowed to see her—Akito gave me the right! You—you can't stop me! Nana!" Please stop, Nana bit her lip harshly, burrowing further into the pillow, please leave me alone.

"Moe," Etsuko's was unwavering, "It doesn't matter what Akito has said. Nana-sama does not want to see you. It would do best if you just leave."

It was silent for a moment, but the silence had her heart pounding, chest constricting as she waited for Moe's next move.

"She doesn't…she doesn't want to see me?"

Never before had Moe sounded so small…so weak. Satoru would hate her, Nana found herself thinking and, for a moment, everything stopped hurting. But Moe spoke again and the peace was shattered.

"You—you're lying. Nana wants to see me. She's always wanted to see me. Even when she was a little baby, she'd smile when she saw me. Why are you lying to me? Why are you trying to send me away. Nana needs me. I'm her—I'm her—"

"That's enough, Moe." Etsuko's voice was cold and uncaring. Maybe that's why Nana liked her so much. There was a sudden slam, the sound of a door locking, and Moe's sobs went quiet.

"Nana," Etsuko called to her, and she couldn't help but flinch away when a cool hand pressed against her bare forehead. She sighed, "Your fever has spiked again. If it doesn't get better by tomorrow, I'll have to get your father."

"No," her throat felt like it was on fire. Nana coughed, rough and wet, "I'll be okay by then."

Etsuko didn't speak, but there was no reason for her to. They both new what was wrong—they both knew why Nana's father had to come visit her and why she couldn't just bring in a doctor.

Tomoko's Reverse Technique wasn't that hard to recognize.

"But if Oguri-sama—"

"It doesn't matter." Nana tried to shout, and she suffered for it, her body curling in itself as she gagged. Nana didn't have to look to know that Etsuko was concerned for her. She could feel it in the young girl's stare, the way the hand against her forehead trembled. But Nana was so tired. "It really doesn't matter."

day four

A pair of flowers were resting in a pastel vase in the corner of her room. Nana knew who it was from without bothering to look at it or read the card.

"Throw them out."

"But, Nana-chan, if Tomoko—"

"It doesn't matter." Chills racked her body. "Throw them out."

day six

Her body stopped accepting any of the food Etsuko kept bringing her. It had been bread first. Nana hadn't thought about it but Etsuko noticed. Apparently she was keeping tabs on her. After she threw up her meal, Etsuko had switched to soup and crackers. Now it was the soup. The flavors burnt her tongue, the soup like liquid daggers in her stomach.

"It hurts." Nana remembered crying the fifth night, her body dry heaving as it tried to force up nothing. "I want it to stop."

Etsuko had been crying but the poor girl couldn't do anything.

Now, Nana only ate crackers.

day seven

Moe somehow got news that she couldn't eat. Nana had to listen to her pleads and begs all night.

At some point she swore she heard Akito.

Nana was too tired to move and Etsuko hurried to get them away.

When they're close, Nana squeezed her to her chest, it hurts more.

day eight

Etsuko forbade her to talk.

Whenever she spoke, she'd cough up blood.

Etsuko got her a notebook and pen.

She slept well that night, though, and dreamt of home.

day nine

Satoru called, demanding the reason to why he hadn't seen her.

Etsuko told her that Tomoko answered it and told Satoru that Nana was sick.

That made her laugh, but she had to stop.

It hurt too much.

day eleven

Akito finally visited her.

Well, Nana should be more specific, he tried to visit her.

Etsuko sent him away the moment Tomoko's voice could be heard.

She knew Etsuko was growing scared and wanted Akito to see her—to see what Tomoko had done. Nana knew he wouldn't care.

Moe came back that night too. Etsuko said she left orange and strawberry candies outside the door. Etsuko also said that she heard Moe crying when she found them there the next morning.

It didn't matter. Nana couldn't eat them anyways.

day thirteen

Nana wasn't sure when she fell asleep. All she knew was that there should've been no reason for Satoru and Shoko to be in the same room together.

Not yet, at least.

hey besties! update after almost a year! surprise! I'm sure this story just took a turn you weren't expecting but it's important for the story. also a main reason why i had writers block for this chapter. I should add that, if you like psychology or are a psychology major, the reason why Nana doesn't do anything anymore is bc she's learned 'learned helplessness'. In other words, she literally doesn't think there's a point in trying to fight or defend herself based on past experiences.

I promise the next update will be soon (next week by my planning). I'm going to respond to comments in my next chapter too bc i'm currently publishing this one in class.

lmk your thoughts!

i appreciate you all

ana