Notes: Hello there!

Thank you for all the lovely comments!

This chapter has a lot of angst and confusion, but it's really necessary.

Take a look and let me know how you feel.

Chapter 9

Sansa felt horrible for running from Robb like she did. He didn't deserve it, and it wasn't his fault she was a mess. He deserved much more consideration from her.

But how could she explain it all to him? How could she tell him that she'd stupidly fallen in love with him and Jon? She couldn't tell him that, the same way she couldn't say that now she was just waiting for them to break her heart.

She didn't judge them for the whole sharing thing. She'd enjoyed it a lot, and she imagined other girls would too.

The thought made her heart ache, but she had no claim on either of them, much less both of them; they were only friends. Well, maybe not anymore.

She ignored too many calls and messages, she'd run from Robb the day before… Even Alys had stopped joking about the situation, because she could see how affected Sansa was. Jeyne had tried talking to her about it, but Sansa wasn't ready. She was acting like a scared little girl, but she didn't know what else to do.

"Sansa".

Her whole body froze. She couldn't believe that she was so distracted she hadn't seen Jon coming up to her.

"Jon." She pressed her books against her chest and almost considered running away, but even she wasn't that pathetic.

Yet.

"Can we talk?" His voice was low and rough, his eyes pleading. "It'll be fast, I promise, just… Please?"

It was the 'please' that broke her. Sansa couldn't believe how much of a bitch she'd been, to the point of making Jon beg for a minute of her time.

"Yes." She cleared her throat. "Sure."

They walked in silence to the side of the building, where no one was around. Jon had his hands on his pocket and he wasn't looking at her.

"Jon…" She started, but he cut her.

"We fucked up." He declared suddenly. "Robb and I, we fucked up. Badly." He took a deep breath, finally looking into her eyes. "And we understand if you never want to talk to us again, never see us again, but…" He took another deep breath, and Sansa could see how wrecked he was by all of this. "Robb is so worried about you. He says you were crying, and now he thinks you hate him…"

"I don't hate him!" Sansa couldn't hear that anymore. She couldn't stand having them thinking she hated them or that any of this mess was their fault. "I don't hate any of you. You did nothing wrong; it was my fault."

"I'm just trying to understand, Sansa. You owe us shit, I know, but we obviously did something wrong or you wouldn't be running from us like that." Jon pointed out.

"You didn't." She insisted. "It wasn't your fault. I'm a mess."

"Don't say that." Jon asked, taking a step closer. "You aren't a mess, Sansa. You're an amazing woman."

"Well, I don't feel amazing." She threw back. "I feel weak and stupid. And I feel like a bitch for treating Robb the way I did yesterday. And it's all on me!" She pressed when she saw Jon opening his mouth to say something. "Because I'm scared of you and how I feel when I'm around you two."

"You see? This is why this is our fault!" Jon insisted. "If we'd talked to you properly and told you all we wanted to, you wouldn't be scared. Well, at least I don't think so."

"Jon…"

"We were going to talk to you." He pressed like he was desperate for her to understand that. "We talked about it a thousand times, we had a plan. We blew it that night; we weren't going to touch you at all, we weren't there to seduce you. But we lost control and we hurried everything… We ruined it." He was so certain, so conformed to the fact that Sansa wanted to hug him, comfort him; but she was also very confused.

"Talk? What did you want to talk about?" She asked.

"Robb told me you said it was a one-night-stand. And the fact that you think that means we fucked up. It wasn't a one-night-stand for us, it was never supposed to be."

Sansa's heart skipped a beat. "What?"

"When we said we wanted you, we weren't talking about one night." Jon took another step, stopping one palm away from her. "We really want you all the time with us."

"But…" Sansa's world had just turned upside down and she couldn't even believe her ears anymore. "You and Robb…"

"I know it isn't common, but…" He took a deep breath. "We both like you and none of us was about to bow out gracefully. It wasn't even a difficult conversation, to be honest. To us, it makes sense that you're meant for both of us."

Sansa hadn't seen Jon speaking that much or that honestly in a long time. She had no idea how to answer him.

"Jon…"

"I know this is insane, Sansa. Believe me." He ran his hand through his hair. "Robb and I discussed this to death. We didn't know what to do and how to talk to you. I know it's too much, I do…" He looked pained. "But we want you by our side. We want you to be our girl."

Sansa's body froze. She couldn't believe what she was listening, because it was too close to what she desired the most. She wanted both of them, she was in love with both of them and now Jon was offering them to her.

It was everything she wanted.

And, exactly because of that, Sansa couldn't believe in it.

When was the last time she got exactly what she wanted? When was the last time one of her choices didn't come back and bit her in the arse?

It was way too easy.

And it was never easy. Not really.

"Jon, I…" She closed her eyes. "I don't… This is insane."

Jon sighed. "I know. This is why we should've talked to you. Now we've ruined it."

"You didn't." She spoke up before she could stop herself. She couldn't see him like that. "Neither you nor Robb ruined anything, I swear. I just…"

Why was this so difficult? Why couldn't she say what she felt?

But, in truth, she knew why. Every time she talked about her feelings, Joffrey had used them against her or used them to humiliate her. Harry made it look like she was trying to manipulate him, being selfish and needy.

She knew that Jon and Robb were nothing like Joffrey and Harry. She knew it, but…

What if she was wrong again?

"I don't know what to say. I need time to think." She finally said. "I can't do that around you two."

"Okay." Jon sighed, resigned and defeated.

Sansa cradled his face between her hands. "I don't hate you or Robb. I just panicked when I talked to him. Can you tell him that?"

Jon nodded.

"Can you just give me some time to think? Please?"

"Sansa, you shouldn't even have to ask me that." Jon groaned. "We should…"

"Oh Jon, stop that!" She rolled her eyes. "You two can't plan or predict everything."

Jon's chuckle was mirthless. "I guess we can't." He gave her a look. "So you really don't hate us?"

"I couldn't if I tried."

Notes: The problem is not solved, but at least she's going to think carefully now before making a decision...

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