We're the broken beauties

Blindfolded minds collide and we fall

When the curtain drops

Our touch is just a touch

-Strangers, Sigrid

A pair of clouded minds, seated opposite to one another on a table by the window, staring out into the night shrouded by fog and light rain. Karma and Gakushū seemed to mirror one another, as both placed their elbows on the table, resting their cheeks against their palms, mindlessly stirring a hot cup of coffee, bewildered.

Karma watched him with subtlety, finally letting go of the spoon as he took a small sip. Gakushū seemed to notice, turning his head sideways to look at him, his face all tensed up.

"Why did you do that?" He finally asked.

Karma slowly placed his cup down, "Because I think I like you." He answered without caution, his face blank as he took note of Gakushū's futile attempt to suppress his reaction, the latter nearly spitting out his coffee.

He hated it. He hated how defenseless he makes him feel with his recklessness, with his impulsivity. He hated how Karma does everything on a whim, without ever considering how it affects the people around him.

He hated how Karma slowly changed everything about him without him ever noticing until it's too late.

"Why would you even say that?" Gakushū asked again, sounding even more annoyed to conceal the fact that his heart was racing, scared to hear what his answer might be, making him grip onto the cup handle tighter.

"Because... it's true?" The words slipped out of Karma's mouth without a care, yawning and stretching his arms as he stood up from his seat. "I'm bored, let's go watch a movie or something." He said as he plopped onto the couch and turned on the TV.

"Don't-" he uttered out loud without making eye contact, sighing with his brows furrowed. "Don't walk out on me like that, I hate it."

"Okay..." Karma mumbled in a singsong tone, leaning back on the couch, biting his lower lip before he spoke in defense, "What's there left to say anyway? I just confessed, now what?"

Gakushū fought the urge to ask, "What about me? What about how I feel?" The uncertainty driving him mad, but instead, he chose to keep his silence as he walked over and sat down beside him, "Just... forget about it."

Some things are just better left unsaid, aren't they?

He hated how Karma leaves everything unfinished, and he hated how he's becoming more like him too.

"No." Karma suddenly changed his mind and looked at him, "I do want to know."

Gakushū sighed and avoided his stare, conflicted, "I... don't know..."

Karma raised an eyebrow and placed his hand above his, still not dropping his gaze, "Why?"

"I really just... don't" Gakushū muttered softly in diffidence, facing the floor, "but I want to stay with you... I like it in here, I like being with you." He boldly admitted, the words spewing out of his mouth spontaneously as he finally made eye contact with Karma.

One side of Karma's lips curled up subtly, his eyes gleaming, as he laid down on the couch sideways and rested his head on Gakushū's lap. "Okay..."

Gakushū blinked, looking down on Karma with the slightest hint of confusion before conceding with a chuckle, "Okay..." He replied, caressing Karma's scalp as they both began watching TV.

"I wonder what I'd look like if I dye my hair blue..." Karma expressed his thoughts out loud as soon as Clementine from 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' popped up on the screen.

"I don't think it would suit you..." Gakushū answered, maybe a little too honest, while he gently combed his fingers through Karma's red locks.

"Why not?" Karma pouted in dismay, slightly lifting up his head to look up at Gakushū.

"Because I can't imagine you in a different hair color other than red," he simply told him.

Karma slumped his head back on Gakushū's lap, resumed watching, then he asked again, "And because?"

"It fits you, I guess... Your personality, it's just striking, strong and..." he began answering, but his voice trailed off while he tried to gauge his wording, trying not to offend him.

"And what?" Karma waited after Gakushū left the words hanging.

"Well, don't get mad..." Gakushū warned.

"What is it?!" Karma pressed, sounding a bit more impatient.

"Ill-tempered." Gakushū finally said meekly in fear of what Karma's reaction might be, which to his surprise, wasn't really bad at all.

Instead, he heard Karma giggling, "I'm aware of that, you know!" He exclaimed in defense before teasingly punching Gakushū's thigh next.

"Ow!" Gakushū gasped, pinching Karma's cheek playfully in return.

"Okay! Stop!" Karma cried in protest, laughing. "You know what I think about your hair color though?" He prompted.

"What? What about mine?" Gakushū asked, genuinely curious, his eyes brightening up with enthusiasm.

"It doesn't suit you." Karma outright told him.

"Why not?"

"Because I rarely see you happy. You know what I mean? Orange is just this energetic color that screams, exciting, exhilarating-" He explained passionately, facing the ceiling while Gakushū just watched him with intent. His hands were moving and his expressions were all over the place, "-and you're just not it." He ended flatly.

That sounded intense.

"Okay..." he laughed breathily in response, "Well, what hair color do you think would suit me then?"

"Blue," Karma answered readily, it's as if he had already thought this through. He added, "no personality bullshit involved or anything... I just think you'd look beautiful in blue."

"Mhmm..." Gakushū mumbled, stroking Karma's cheek softly as they resumed watching the movie in silence.

"I don't think I'd like to erase someone from my memory even if things go south..." Karma voiced out his thoughts as the climax of the movie unfolds.

"Have you ever been in a relationship before?" Gakushū asked out of sheer curiosity.

"Nope. This is my first." Karma replied.

Gakushū could only do so much but laugh in shock, smiling, "First? Really? Did you even hear me say 'yes'? Did I say 'yes' to all this?"

"Then say it." Karma retorted, shifting his body as he finally sat upright, "Say 'yes.'"

Gakushū mulled it over, the pace, making sure that they weren't in a rush of things. He was planning on saying 'yes' anyway, but Karma was rather quick to make conditions.

"If the answer's yes, kiss me. But if the answer's no, I'm cool with that."

Why does he have to make it so hard? Why does he tend to complicate things? What difference does it make anyway? The denial? There'll be nowhere else to go except right where they're headed.

"Really?" Karma complained the moment Gakushū finally did what he was told, "A kiss on the forehead? You suck."

Gakushū didn't say anything as he took a turn on laying down on the couch, resting his head on Karma's lap.

"I love you," Karma added, looking down at him and ruffling his hair gently.

"Me too..." Gakushū mumbled as his eyelids felt heavy. Soon enough, he completely drifted into sleep while Karma still continued watching TV.

The untouched cups of coffee on the table has gone cold, the hour hand on the clock pointing past "2," and the white noise playing inconspicuously on the background, blending altogether with Karma and Gakushū's soft snores.

So much has happened in one day.

Karma woke up to the sight of Gakushū slurping on a cup of instant ramen, his cheeks full and fluffy, the latter didn't seem to quite notice him waking up, so he discreetly observed him for a few minutes before he finally greeted, "Morning, smartass."

Surprised to hear that Karma was up already, he shifted his focus from the food he was eating into Karma, and began explaining himself, "Sorry, I got hungry and I kind of ransacked through your cupboards... by the way, it's a quarter past noon already."

"Yeah.." Karma yawned, stretching his arms as he sat upright, "I'm just not a morning person you know..."

"I figured." Gakushū agreed as he walked over to Karma and joined him on the floor.

"So what have you been doing all this morning? Watching me sleep?" Karma smirked.

"Nope, studying." He answered.

"Studying? For god's sake, we're on a one-week suspension and it's nearly winter break, what the hell are you studying for?" Karma argued.

"Nothing... I just feel anxious doing nothing at all..." Gakushū openly told him, "I just have this constant anxious feeling that I might not amount to anything in life if I don't get my shit together."

"Jesus, it's too early for that!" Karma exclaimed, followed by a loud yawn. He saw Gakushū's face turn sour at his foul breath. In order to spite him more, he breathed louder right into his face.

"You're disgusting!" Gakushū pinched his nose and turned away, dropping his half-finished instant ramen on a nearby coffee table.

"I know, right?!" Karma laughed with that devious smirk on his face.

Gakushū knew trouble was coming, so he stood up and tried to get away from Karma's foul breath, but the latter began to chase him mischievously across the living room. "Gross! Karma, stop! It's not funny!" He cried as he ran. Much to his dismay, Karma was able to catch him as he felt his arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"I want some Gyudon, can we get some Gyudon outside?" Karma purred, poking his chin on Gakushū's shoulder, the latter's facial expression going soft.

There he was again with his random thoughts.

"Okay, just brush your teeth first. Jeez."

Gakushū followed Karma from behind, the wind howling on his face while he watched him run freely and kick some snow. He hugged himself and rubbed his arms, trying to keep himself warm.

He smiled to himself at the sight of him. Karma boldly stood out from the background, a sole rose stemming out of the snow, wild and carefree.

"What are you waiting for?" Karma shouted from a distance, his hands cupped over his mouth to make his voice louder.

"Coming!" Gakushū yelled back and waved as he ran over to him.

They strolled side by side on the pavements blanketed with thin snow, their fingers entwined and their breaths forming into wisps of smoke.

"You know what? I have this weird urge to hop on a train just for some sightseeing." Karma declared out of nowhere.

"Didn't you say earlier that you wanted some Gyudon?" Gakushū reminded him, but again, Karma was rather persistent.

"The Gyudon can wait." Karma insisted.

"Are you..." Gakushū uttered out in disbelief, letting out a breathy laugh, "Are you being serious right now?"

"Let's go!" Karma picked up the pace, running as he held Gakushū's hand tight and dragged him from behind.

The scenery of the train station looked almost dull and colorless. But the pair seemed to stand out from a sea of monotonous grayscale jackets and overcoats as they sat together on the bench, waiting for the next train. The redhead wore this peach pullover hoodie with an embroidered skull emoticon on the upper left, while Gakushū wore this pastel mint hoodie he borrowed from Karma with a small alien embroidery on the exact same spot.

It wasn't exactly his taste but it didn't look as bad, Gakushū thought. It was better than freezing out in the cold because the sweatshirt he bought with him just wasn't enough to keep him warm.

A few seconds later they already got in. The burnt, orange daylight peered right through the spaces in between the skyscrapers, Karma had the sun rays directly absorbed by his irises, giving off this hypnotic, amber glint that he couldn't help but look at from the corner of his eye. He then rested his head on his shoulders, still staring, noticing how Karma always sticks his tongue out a little when he concentrates.

He wondered what could be inside that fragile mind of his. They were sharing earbuds again, playing the film-score 'Cornfield Chase' from 'Interstellar.' It almost felt like it was only the two of them inside the train, as if they were in a trance, traversing slowly through time and space.

Karma leaned right back on top of Gakushū's head that still rested on his shoulder, he told him, "You have such good taste."

"Play a song you like next..." Gakushū whispered, handing his phone over to Karma, to which he immediately took and began scrolling. They played 'Tokyo Nights' by 'Digital Farm Animals' last before they got off the metro, for they finally went full loop around the city.

Karma got a hold of his Gyudon after some time, the pair eating away in solace as they sat by a window in an otherwise empty diner. The sun eventually dipped past below the skyline, ephemeral shades of ochre, wisteria, and indigo bled quaintly into one another, veiling over the sporadically lit city-lights.

It was short-lived but worthwhile. Gakushū knew he had to go home soon and face the repercussions of what he did the other day. So they went back to Karma's loft to grab some of his stuff before he leaves.

"Today was nice. I had so much fun with you. Really." He told him as he stood underneath the doorway, slinging his bag on one shoulder.

"Me too." Karma replied, taking a step to kiss Gakushū on the forehead before they part ways, "See you around."

"Wait," Gakushū called out as soon as he heard sirens from a distance. He began covering Karma's ears with his hands as the sound neared in. Karma was rooted in his place, his breaths staggering, mind turbulent. He forced his eyes shut as he held onto Gakushū's wrists tightly.

Then to make up for what he did last night, he tilted his chin up and kissed Karma's lips softly for nearly half a minute until the noise tapered off. "Do I still suck?" Gakushū asked the moment he let go.

The smoke clears out and all he could see and think of was him and only but him. Karma blinked his eyes open, looking even more dazed than he did a while ago, the teardrops falling steadily. It was all unanticipated, he never knew that Gakushū was even capable of doing... that. He tried pulling himself back together. The heavy breaths eventually turning into airy laughs, a prelude to an ugly sob while he had Gakushū pulled into a tight hug.

Gakushū reluctantly placed a hand on Karma's back. He was never the type to console people, but now he could see himself in the former 3-E student, the way he cried in the hallway back when he first lost his scholarship.

So this is what Karma's been doing to him all along.

He whispered into his ear, one hand rubbing his back and the other caressing his head, "I love you."

"I know."

As always, thanks for reading and let me know what you think! Have a great day ahead!