Hikigaya Hachiman's Path to Reformation

Dark Inner Musings

I slightly shivered from the cold morning air and I was quite glad that I decided to change into jogging pants at the last minute. The bench is cold, the ground is cold, the air is cold and even my nose is cold.

The only thing that wasn't cold was the warm little dog that's resting on my feet right now, and the small bag of warm cookies that were being held by the dog's Master.

Brown...

Not burnt into charcoal…

Chocolate chips on top…

Smells nice…

Not too spongy, nor rock hard…

Proper shape…

"H-Hikki! Just eat it!" Yuigahama exclaimed in a frustrated tone. Sable barked at me as if sensing his Master's anxiousness. Shrugging to myself, I bit into it and was pleasantly surprised. It had just the right amount of sweetness to it and the chocolate chips inside here were a nice touch. Hoh, so Yuigahama wasn't lying huh...

"Looks like my hard work in teaching you paid off. You pass." I say and finished the cookie.

"Hehehe, see? I told you I wasn't lying!" She proudly stated and started eating her share.

"Or maybe these are just store-bought ones that you heated before coming here…" I muttered enough for her to hear it.

"Hey!"

I arrived at our rendezvous earlier to find her still not there. I was about to start alone when a dog's barking caught my attention and she finally came. She was wearing a dark jacket over her simple white t-shirt and pink jogging pants while I was wearing all black. Anyway, we had already finished a few rounds around the neighbourhood and she decided to take a little break. Sable was looking quite tired as well so I had no choice to agree. The Sun had already driven away some of the darkness, but it'll take another half an hour before full dawn I wager.

She yawned and stretched her legs. "Mmmm! Ah, my legs are sore…you're not even tired yet are you?"

"Not really, I already conditioned myself for stuff like these," I say.

"Hikki, you sound super big-headed right now…" She made a face at my reply.

I shrugged. "But it's true. You were literally behind me throughout the jog."

"It's because you jog too fast!" She said and Sable barked again.

"Really?" I ask in all honestly. Today was the first time I jogged with someone aside from Komachi. Komachi isn't really into this kind of thing, and my parents are too exhausted to even consider the idea. There was another reason why I jogged ahead of her. Her chest moves too much when we're side by side, not to mention that the white shirt that she's wearing is quite thin and the jacket is slightly open. My eyes are automatically attracted to them so to save me the embarrassment of being caught in the act, I'd rather go in front and avoid them. I was honestly expecting her to suddenly call me a perv or something, but she didn't. Maybe she didn't notice me sneaking glances, or maybe she just ignored me.

Or maybe she was doing it deliberately…

Pff, what a ridiculous thought. What am I, a trashy harem protagonist in a +18 Visual Novel?

"Yeah, you were fast." She said and gave Sable some water from his bottle.

While she was busy, I resumed taking bites out of the cookies that she made. And I just realized that I skipped something very important.

"Thank you," I say.

She straightened up before turning to me with her usual bright smile. "No problem!"

I slowly turn away, trying to hold back tears from falling. Uwaah, what a nice girl. I seriously feel bad for manipulating her into doing this for me, I guess I am a trashy cheapskate that jumps at every opportunity huh. But at least we got to eat cookies, and good ones at that. The guilt is building up within me, and if I don't get some kind of punishment for this, it might drive me mad and force me to become a Berserker with madness enhancement ranked EX.

I turn to her, my eyes burning with resolute before bowing. "Yuigahama, please hit me."

[ THE WORLD ]

One second passed.

Two seconds passed.

Three seconds passed.

She blinked. "Huh?"

"Please."

"E-Eh?! But why-"

"Anything will do," I reply after raising my head. She gulped when she saw how serious I was and stopped fidgeting. Unfortunately, all my mental preparations were for nought since all she did was slowly pinch my ear and immediately let go after giving me weird look.

"Uwaah, I knew it. You're an M…" She said in realization. Wait that face that she's making right now…it's the same one that I make when Ebina tries to make me read her Yaoi manga…

I leaned down and picked up Sable, the little dog made himself comfortable on my lap as I rubbed his head. Dachshunds are really small are they…"Oi, don't listen to "Yukinon". Her insults have no factual basis." I say slightly annoyed. She leaned on the backrest and started absentmindedly swinging her legs while looking up at the early morning sky deep in thought. "Yukinon was…lively yesterday, right? Hahaha…" She said awkwardly, not quite sure how to approach the topic.

"As always…" I say tiredly. That woman is going to be the death of me someday.

"Was she always like that?" She said after several moments of silence.

For a moment, I thought back to our year together as classmates as Yuigahama patiently waited for my response. "Kind of, but they were more or less of the light humour type. Now she's just going all out on me. Hmm, maybe she's pissed that she still hasn't beaten me in academics…"

"Ahhhh..."

I sighed before continuing. "In any case, the fact remains that she's not pulling her punches anymore. Good grief, and here I was glad that we weren't classmates anymore. She still finds a way to torment me…"

"I thought you two were friends…?" She said in a curious tone, her eyes still not leaving the sky.

I scoffed. "Never."

"But I heard rumours around at our Year that you two were well…" She stopped a bit, contemplating whether she should say the next part at all.

"a couple." Her voice had no emotion to them, not a single trace of one. Her words were heavy and still in the cold air.

The thought made me gag. "Rumours aren't a reliable source of information. Do you recall one rumour that said that I was a yakuza member?"

"Hmm." She hummed in reply, nodding from the corner of my eye.

"What about the one that said I manipulated the results of the entrance exams?"

"Hmm."

"How about me bribing the school to immediately give me a seat at the Council?"

"Hmm."

I turned to her this time to face her properly and found her doing the same. "And? Do you think those are true?"

She gave a small smile and slowly shook her head. "Not in the slightest…" Yuigahama said in response.

"W-Well, I think I believed the first one for a few weeks…" She added and laughed awkwardly at her confession. I sighed and leaned on the backrest. I hate conversations like these. It tires me out and makes my head hurt.

"I kind of feel sorry for her. Though I don't know why…" She said and her focus returned to the dark sky, she spaced out for several minutes. Just a blank stare upwards.

"Don't be, she hates being pitied upon. If you say that to her face, she'll chew you out." My words came out colder than I wanted, made even more by the temperature of the air around us. I can't quite recall when it was, but I do remember lashing out at me when she thought that I was pitying her.

"I want to be friends with her but…you know…" She said as her mind was still deep in thought, pondering her relationship with the girl that we're talking about. They were still quite new to each other, and it's only natural for her to want to know more about her by asking other people. I saw her eyes yesterday, they looked wary and she was downright shocked at Yukinoshita's verbal exchange with me, and for the past several days too. The law would always be on my side since she was the one starting it every time. And the face that Yuigahama had as we walked out of the clubroom together only cemented my thoughts.

She was having doubts about Yukinoshita.

She wants to get closer to her as a friend.

She was just doing what a nice girl does.

But after seeing how cold and toxic she can be with me, it's only natural for her to start thinking about some things. Like if she can be like that with me, there isn't any assurance that she won't be like that with her. More like, "when" will she be treated the same way "I" was treated. It's not even an "if" scenario anymore, it's a guaranteed "when".

It's only natural for her to start thinking like that if I was in her position.

This "friendship" of theirs might even fall apart sometime soon. Perhaps sooner than I initially thought.

A pity to be sure. I had hoped for Yuigahama that she could be a real friend to Yukinoshita and make the Ice Queen's outer shell melt little by little. It would surely be interesting and amusing to witness firsthand, especially with Haruno by my side. It would serve as some kind of entertainment and recompense for us to be sure. Oh, how proud her older sister would be when she finds out that her cold, friendless and aloof little sister finally met someone that she could call "friend"!

The place where my heart used to be, now a cold, hollow and brittle husk warms at the very thought!

Haruno said that her little sister needs a friend or at least someone that she can trust and rely on. Unfortunately for both of them, I refuse to be that person. I don't have the time, patience, dedication nor interest in doing that. Perhaps if she were to change a bit then I might even consider doing it. I'm not asking for a complete redo of her personality, just a tiny bit. But right now, it's impossible.

Impossible.

Absolutely impossible.

I might sound dismissive and extremely cold-hearted for saying this…but…

It's none of my business if something forms or collapses between Yuigahama and Yukinoshita. I was never the kind of person to put my nose in places where it doesn't belong, especially in people's relationships with others. I respect everyone's privacy, and I in turn expect to be treated the same way. I don't seek to improve nor destroy their relationship. Unless they directly ask for my help to become friends, then I want nothing to do with that subject. But that also depends on whether I decide to assist them or not, of which I am already leaning toward the latter option.

And honestly?

As long as it doesn't directly negatively affect me…

As long as it doesn't hurt me…

As long as it doesn't stand in the way of my one true goal…

Then…

I couldn't care less.

A twisted and sadistic part within me grinned devilishly, have I been alone right now, I would have let out a low chuckle. That tiny part of me eagerly desired to watch her slowly drive herself to the path of ruin and destruction. A cold and lonely path caused by none other than her while I dully watched from above as she struggled and writhed with every obstacle that she came upon. She can blame no one, for she had brought everything upon herself. She can seek help from no one since she drove them away in the first place. She can rely on no one since no sane person would decide to associate themself with someone like her. It is quite hilarious, grotesquely and darkly. That the self-proclaimed perfect girl would have to go through all that to remedy the obvious imperfections that she was too blind to see and too proud and arrogant to acknowledge and remedy. The thought that the only way for her to possibly change for the better would be for her to reach her lowest state of being, made me smirk and almost break out into sudden laughter.

I guess I am fucked up.

Yes, I KNOW it's short, but I decided to separate this from the previous chapter.

Anyway...

Hachiman suddenly got dark at the last part huh...but I guess anyone will start thinking like that if they were in his shoes. He said some dark and harsh words, it says a lot about what he's feeling inside.

Answer Time!

Clipsus: Who knows, maybe Yukino will be even more of a bitch to him, OR she'll think and reflect upon her inappropriate actions lately...and HikiMama already met Saki and Haruno, only a few girls left... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Xperior: Saki-chan next chapter!

CoupErVert: Same.

GunBlade2020: Overprotective or EXTREMELY elated maybe. This isn't "Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?" after all.

SnappingFlower: Murderous Yandere Yukino? Hmm...

Elr1k: I deliberately added the Konosuba references for the lolz and cringe lmao.

ANYWAY!

I have modular exams on Saturday, but maybe I can squeeze out my brain and release a new chapter before then. I'm about...1/4 done on it!

As always, review, follow, favourite if you want tho. Oh and a little heads up on the next few chapters, Hachiman might be more assertive and angry due to a certain something or someone, that's all I'm gonna say for now!

See you soon! Hopefully...