Hikigaya Hachiman's Path to Reformation
The Ice Queen's Confusion
Silence.
I do not find it unwelcome. The silence at home is comforting, the silence as I read by myself in the library is very much appreciated, the silence that floated in this clubroom is relaxing.
But now…
It has become unbearable and suffocating. Especially when we're alone together...
He was just doing the same thing, as usual, today, playing on his phone or occasionally reading a book that he brought from home. His back was straight as his eyes were focused on his current task, diligently doing his homework. I remember asking him why he preferred doing his homework and assignments at school rather than at home, and he said "If I finish everything here, then I have more time to play at home and laze around at home."
How very much like him, he has not changed at all.
Or perhaps he did, and I just did not notice the slight changes in his behaviour over the year…?
The last time that we exchanged words was…perhaps a week and a half ago. At the same time that he brought Hiro-sensei's infant daughter with him to the clubroom.
I'm not sure if he is still upset with me, he has a permanent look of indifference on his face, and it is impossible to know how he truly feels about me. We passed by each other sometimes in the hallway, he always has a girl beside him. It was either the blonde one or the one with shoulder-length black hair. He would always look straight ahead, not even sparing me a glance. That or he was busy speaking to the one that was accompanying him.
Not that I wanted his attention of course…of course…
…
I admit that what I said before may have been too much. The words just came out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying, and I do not find him at fault for being upset with me. I feel that if he had slapped me out of anger back then, then I cannot blame him.
I must find a way to apologize to him for my rudeness and distasteful behaviour. The only thing getting in my way in doing so is the fact that I cannot muster the courage to approach him privately and take a moment from his time. Every time I think I'm ready, something always comes up one way or another. I can already think of two possible scenarios if that were to finally happen;
He would either accept my apology with a disinterested shrug.
Or…
He would glare coldly at me and tell me to silence myself.
Thinking of the second one is enough to give me anxiety, and that in turn destroys the small amount of courage that I had built up.
…
…
Yuigahama-san had gone out to get something she left in their classroom and while she was doing that, she decided to buy a drink for us. So it is just the two of us here. I tried reading the book that was on my lap, but the characters that I saw were blurry, and forcing myself to read gave me a headache. He arrived later than usual today, it must have been because he dropped by the Student Council Office.
His face was as blank as ever every time he comes here with Yuigahama-san. The same blank face that betrayed no hint of emotion, the same look of indifference on the fraction of a second on the rare moments that we locked eyes. I can't recall the last time he expressed a small smirk or a cheeky grin…
The door opened with a start, and Yuigahama-san finally arrived carrying the drinks that she went out to buy. "I'm back! Here you go Yukinon, the juice that you wanted." She came over to me then skipped to where Hikigaya-kun was sitting. "Hikki, here's your green tea!"
"Hmm, thanks." He muttered tiredly and stretched his arms out.
"Thank you Yuigahama-san…"
She went to her bag and got a small rectangular-shaped Tupperware. "Tadah! I brought snacks!" She proudly said and opened it in front of me to reveal chocolate chip cookies inside.
"Yuigahama-san, did you make these…?" I say and picked one up.
"Yup! Hikki helped me!"
I blinked twice at her statement, I don't know how to react. "A-Ah…"
I-I see…so that is how it is then…
"Yuigahama, you're making it sound like I went to your place and made it with you. I just ate the ones that you gave me the other week and said that they were good." His voice startled me but strangely made me feel glad. From the corner of my eye, I saw that he did not take away his attention from his homework.
"That still counts as helping dummy!" Yuigahama-san replied. He looked like he was ready to argue, but he just shrugged at her. She then went over to him and gave him a cookie.
"Hmm, thanks."
I took a bite from the cookie that she made and…it was surprisingly good. It seems that he was able to successfully teach her how to properly bake. He succeeded where I failed…
After he got one, she sat on the table beside him while absentmindedly swinging her legs. She has been talking to me since she arrived, it would be only courteous of her to speak to Hikigaya-kun as well. We spoke earlier and she said that she is excited and looking forward to the company visit.
"Hikki! I heard that a girl in our class confessed to someone last week! I have no idea who though!" She said.
I'm not sure, and I may be wrong, but I think I saw him stiffen at her words.
"Yuigahama, please spare me. I do not enjoy partaking in gossip." He said after a sigh and massaging his temples.
She playfully nudged his shoulder. "Come on, aren't you like, interested in knowing who it was?"
He shook his head. "Not in the slightest. On the other hand, have the chain mails stopped?" He asked and looked at her expectantly.
"Oh, umm…" This time, Yuigahama-san looked to me, seemingly unsure of what to say. "Well, Yukinon and I couldn't find out who was behind it, but they stopped around last week."
He looked as if he was about to smirk but stopped halfway. "Ah, is that so…"
I decided to join in on their conversation, just to clarify something. Even if he ignores me, I must know somehow.
"Hikigaya-kun."
He looked at me from the corner of his eye and arched a brow. His gaze had no warmth, nor coldness to it, as expected.
"Did you have anything to do with it?" I ask.
I saw his eyes narrow and he shrugged. "Perhaps…" Yuigahama was surprised at his answer and immediately nagged at him to tell her more about it by shaking his shoulder to catch his attention.
"Woah! Do you mean it, Hikki? Did you do it? How? And who was it?"
"I don't need to tell you the details, and no I won't tell you who it was no matter how much you pester me." He gently shook off her hand. "All you need to know is that you worry about anything. I already took care of it." Since he was very firm and resolute about the identity of the culprit and his method, I decided to keep my mouth shut and not pry further on the topic. He is not the type to lie about things like this, so he must be telling the truth.
"Still, you said that you disliked this request and said that you won't lift a finger to help. What made you change your mind?" I asked.
He did not look at me as he replied. "Someone dear to me was badmouthed. That was reason enough for me to act."
Oh my, how noble of him…
Who is it, I wonder? A friend from his class with whom he shares many interests with? A best friend that he knows ever since childhood?
Perhaps even a secret girlfriend that he has? I wonder what his personal preferences are...Ah, that would be...never mind...
"Hmm, so even Hikki has someone dear to him huh…" Yuigahama-san nodded to herself with her eyes closed.
"Oi…" He leered at her but she just laughed it off. I was about to say my usual playful remark, but I was afraid that I may be overstepping my bounds with him too soon, so I decided against it.
Yuigahama-san's phone rang, and after opening it, she excitedly turned to the boy beside her. "Hikki, we're going to watch a movie this weekend. Since Hayato and Tobe have football practice, Yumiko and Hina wanted you to come too!" She said cheerfully.
"No thank you. And move your fat ass out of the way, I need to get back to my homework." He replied quickly, sounding slightly annoyed.
"So quickly?!" Yuigahama-san exclaimed with her high pitched voice, obviously surprised at the speed of her rejection. I'm more surprised at how she ignored his second statement…
They continued with their little game, Yuigahama-san trying to come up with things that might make him change his mind, while he effortlessly and gracefully finds a loophole to make an excuse. I observed them, the former looking and sounding slightly desperate and frustrated while the latter just gave her a disinterested look with tired eyes. It was mildly amusing to witness.
"But the movie is really good!"
"Ah, is that so…" He lazily replied.
"The actors are famous!"
"I can't even name more than five actors or actresses…"
"We'll treat you!" I saw Yuigahama-san make a hopefully face. Surely with that statement, even Hikigaya-kun might be forced to concede…?
"Oi, even I have my pride as a guy you know…"
"Then you can treat us!"
"Not happening."
"We'll split up the bill!"
"Sorry."
"Uhh, we'll go shopping after…?" Yuigahama-san was running out of ideas since even she was not sure of what she was saying.
"Haaaaaaah? And become your boy-toy helper to carry your bags around? I'll pass on that, thank you very much." He rolled his eyes at her and returned his attention to his homework. "As I said, get your fat ass out of the way before I-" He added, but got interrupted by Yuigahama-san.
"Think about it! You get to enjoy the three of us by yourself for an entire day!" I raised a brow at her bold choice of words. The words that she uttered dawned unto her, and she became visibly flustered and the embarrassment was slowly but surely creeping up to her face. Her wording was terrible and the other meaning behind it caused my thoughts to go spinning out of control.
All of them to himself for an entire day…
The three of them…with him…
I had to forcefully suppress a blush from forming with all of my willpower because of the images that I was subconsciously making in my mind.
Lewd thoughts go away, lewd thoughts go away, lewd thoughts go away, lewd thoughts go away, lewd thoughts go away, lewd thoughts go away…
Hikigaya-kun was the epitome of calmness and serenity. His face betrayed no hint of embarrassment nor even a slight blush. He looked like he had just awakened from a 100-year meditation in a secluded temple high in the mountains where the peaks kissed the clouds and attained enlightenment. I could almost see a golden light emanating from him. He opened his usual half-lidded eyes, and I swore they glowed with brilliance.
Is this…Is this the Great Bodhisattva Hachiman…?
"And?" He simply asked.
"Uwaaaaah! Hikki you N.E.E.T! You should go out and socialize mooooore!" She grabbed him by his collars and shook him for some reason. All the while saying how he was such a good-for-nothing "N.E.E.T". What does that mean, I wonder…?
"Hey! I'm not a N.E.E.T! I have a part-time job and I'm in school, so that cancels out pretty much the core definition of N.E.E.T-ness! If anything, YOU'RE THE N.E.E.T!" Instead of grabbing her hands to force her to let him go, he pinched and twisted her tummy with his two hands, which caused her to squeal out in surprise.
"Kyaaaah! Hikki you pervert! You did it again! You touched me like last time!" She said and covered her exposed area with her arms. I saw a nerve twitch at Hikigaya-kun's forehead and he promptly got up and pinched both of her cheeks.
Last time…?
"Haaaaaah?! You touched me first! Grrrr! Is this it?! Is this the cheeky little mouth that called me a N.E.E.T and a pervert?! Why you-!" He exclaimed with a shout and started pulling on her cheeks. Yuigahama-san could not force him to let go, since the difference in physical strength was quite clear. She could not do anything but flail her arms around, like a fish out of water. Not to mention making squeaking sounds, like a small animal cornered by a predator as she got her cheeks pulled by him.
"Ouch! Let meeeeeugh goooooooo!"
At that point, I had to look away from them, the unfamiliar feeling is starting to rise again...it has gotten stronger and painful recently. I hate this feeling, it eats me away from the inside and is constantly making its presence known every day. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I want to make it go away, but I don't know how to make it so. I don't know what to do.
Yuigahama-san made those shrieks again, and my eyes were drawn once again to their two forms.
Watching them being silly with each other…
Watching them so relaxed around each other…
I don't know what this feeling is…
All I know is that…
One day…
I hope to do things like that…
With him…
But with the way things are between me and him…
It will be very difficult, I wager…
Hello again, I bet you lot weren't expecting another update this soon! Since we all have a lot of free time in our hands, I decided to just write when I'm bored. And I'm ALWAYS bored.
I'm really glad about the positive feedback from the previous chapter. I was a bit worried that adding an OC might disrupt the plot, but I just said, "Screw it! Sumiya Yuuko gets the spotlight this chapter!" And so another route has been added. Some of the other girls would be jealous of her I say if they found out what Hachiman did to her. She got more intimate scenes with him than the other girls, and it was even her debut chapter!
By the way, the first draft of their scene together got a bit...M-rated since I MIGHT have gotten carried away and the chapter was smut...if you want to read it, well...just say the word lmao.
As for Yukino, we finally got an idea of what's going on in that complicated head of hers! Looks like she's starting to at least see what's wrong, the only question is whether or not she would accept or deny it. Hachiman has given her the "silent treatment" and nothing else, the psychological pressure that is put on the Ice Queen seems to have worked. And those final lines of hers...WAS IT FINALLY AN ADMISSION?!
Reply time!
Fuyuhara Sora: Thought about that, but at the same time I've never read fanfic where Hachiman seduced someone into doing his bidding, so yeah lol.
SilverZ-Tenori0: Thank you!
garoorar: Hmm, you MAY have just given me an idea, huehuehuehuehue...
Alex Focker: He's a sadist, she just found out that she may be a masochist for him, they would make a PERFECT pair! XD
Darkkon27: The Emperor protects Brother.
.1: He'll reveal in a monologue how he "taught" himself to do it in a chap or two lol.
Xperior: Zaashu!
jargax: It was a unorthodox method to be sure, but hey as long as it works.
Jamesbucag: Hachiman is can be a highkey Chad, he just chooses to be lowkey lol.
Clipsus: NGL sometimes I squeal over the stuff I write lmao.
Harco8059: Thanks!
As always, review, favourite, follow blah blah blah.
See you in a week or two!