A/N Not me having this chapter ready for weeks and then continually forgetting to post it..

Anyway...
Enjoy! (this was one of my favourite chapters to write)

Merlin rolled his shoulders, cracking his back as he did so. The councillors had all left, distraught and slightly traumatised by him. Or at least by the Dolma. None of them knew it was him. By Albion, he should have done something like this years ago! He finally had an excuse to say all those things that he wished to say to their faces.

Watching Gwaine watch him had been a bonus as well. If everything went awry, Merlin knew that at least he could count on someone to back him up as the Dolma.

Someone cleared their throat behind him.

Merlin whirled, coming face to face with Arthur, almost falling over his skirts in the process. Merlin really had to give it to Gwen and Morgana and generally every single woman of his acquaintance. The layers of skirts surrounding his legs were just plain frustrating, almost tripping him up at every opportunity.

"Your majesty?"

Arthur suddenly looked very sheepish, like he had just been caught stealing or lying.

"It has come to my attention that I don't actually know your name… and of course, while we can keep referring to you as 'the Dolma', it would do me a great honour if you entrusted me with your true name…"

Arthur trailed off, but Merlin was too caught up in his panic to even notice. Name? He hadn't thought that far ahead? What did one call their alter ego, who so happened to be the opposite gender?

"Cindy."

The name was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"Cindy?"

Arthur was staring at him, confused look on his face.

"Yes," Merlin's heart was in his throat. "Cindy."

Oh dear, Lancelot was never going to let Merlin live this down was he?

"...Cindy," Arthur repeated slowly, still sounding unsure about the name.

Merlin coughed.

"Right," Arthur said. "It's just… you don't look like a Cindy."

Merlin huffed, "Well, you don't very much look like an Arthur to me, and yet here we are."

He put on his best glowering huffy face, trying to look as indignant and put out as possible. It seemed to work, Arthur immediately leaping to apologise.

Inwardly, Merlin grinned gleefully. He was enjoying this far too much. Why had he never thought about doing something like this before?

Watching Arthur flail around with words and honorifics was the best entertainment he had ever had. Merlin didn't think that he had ever felt so happy before, being the Dolma, or Cindy, as his panicked brain had gone with, was so freeing.

Of course, there was also the question of how he was going to tell Arthur that he was in fact actually his manservant, Merlin. But that depressing thought would have to be saved for a later date.

"If you don't mind me asking…" uh oh, this didn't bode well. "How exactly do you know Merlin? He seemed pretty adamant that he didn't really want to meet with you…"

Arthur trailed off, hands twitching nervously as they had done so before.

Oh dear, Arthur was really going for the hard to answer questions today, wasn't he? How did one say, 'well, you see I'm actually your manservant in disguise, because I didn't know how you would react to me having magic, so I brought back this persona from the dusty shelf to save your sorry ass in Camlann, and then to divert suspicions away from me as a magic user, even though you appear to be getting along quite well with them. Oh, and you wouldn't so happen to remember that doddery old man? Yeah, Dragoon, that's the one, that was actually me as well.'

"Ugh… well, you see," great, Merlin thought. Good intelligent response right there. "I thought that your manservant was sick?"

Arthur blinked. "Yes, but even then, he didn't really seem to like the idea of, well, riding out to find and invite you to Camelot."

Now what sort of response could Merlin give to Arthur that would be even plausible…

"Well, I suppose it could have had something to do with the number of Saxons roaming the countryside, your majesty," Merlin (Cindy) responded. "Or perhaps the fact that Morgana still lives, and could come back at any time?"

Arthur snorted, "You obviously haven't met Merlin, then. I swear… the amount of times the idiot has run into danger without any thought for his own wellbeing, or even the fact that he isn't wearing anything to protect himself except for the clothes he wears on his back… it's a wonder he's still alive."

Merlin felt a lump in his throat. Sure he and Arthur had had that little heart to heart before in Gaius' chambers, but this was different. Merlin had assumed that Arthur never really… talked about him, and certainly not to other people.

"You value him as your friend, then?"

Merlin had begun to walk to the door, but paused, turning round, waiting for Arthur's answer. What had possessed him to ask that question?

But Merlin wasn't Merlin right now, he was the Dolma (Cindy, his mind supplied, shut up, he thought back), so didn't have any memory or recollection of that apology scene, or even how their entire relationship worked.

This was a mistake, and one which Lancelot would probably reprimand him for, but Merlin needed to know. There had been so many times over the years when he had thought maybe, just maybe, Arthur might actually value him as a person, and yet time and time again he had been proven against the fact, but now one question remained. Did Merlin really want to know what Arthur thought about him when he wasn't around? Did he really want to dive down that rabbit hole?

"I would trust him with my life," Merlin blinked, surprised. He had forgotten that he had asked Arthur a question.

"Yes," Merlin responded slowly. "But does that really mean that you value him?"

A frustrated huff came from Arthur's direction, Merlin not daring to look his king in his eyes.

"Of course I value Merlin. You didn't let me finish. I would trust him with my life, more than my knights, more than my own wife. He was the only person who tells me how it is. The only person who stood up to me, and argued back. He's brave and trustworthy and loyal. He has been the only person who has stood by me, through thick or thin. He has listened to me and my problems, and often helped me find a solution…" Arthur trailed off, his face growing remorseful, and… was that, shame? "But I must confess, I have not always listened to his judgement, instead listening to those who would wish to harm me or Camelot. Sometimes I wonder, why, after all these years he still stands by me. Why he would choose to stand by a man who has time and time again thrown his friendship back in his face. I don't even know how I earned so much trust and loyalty, especially from a man who found me the most annoying, conceited brat to begin with. He's the bravest, kindest soul you'll ever meet. And quite possibly the wisest."

Footsteps rang from behind him, as Arthur moved towards the door, Merlin surreptitiously wiping his eyes dry from his tears. He had no idea that that was what Arthur thought about him!

Arthur had moved past him, hand ready to open the door, when Merlin's next question slipped out of his mouth.

"And does your friend know this?"

The silence in the room was deafening, Arthur's entire body frozen by the door, eyes looking far into the distance.

"I… I don't believe that I've ever told him, no," he whispered, looking once more down at his feet.

"And… and don't you think he deserves to know?" Merlin's heart was in his mouth, his quiet whisper reverberating oddly loudly throughout the chamber.

The silence was deafening, tension running high throughout the room.

And then, just like that it was gone.

"I did… sort of apologise to him before… but you have made me see…" Arthur trailed off, glancing back at Merlin, and then back at his hand on the door handle. "Thank you. You have helped me see things clearer now. In fact… why don't you accompany me to see Merlin? He's been feeling sick, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind a visit from a few friendly faces."

Crap.

"Ah, your majesty, I am an old woman, and while I appreciate you being an energetic young man, I am not so much as I used to be," Merlin gulped, forcing the saliva down his now dry throat. "While I do wish to speak with Merlin, I am afraid that I was still not rested enough from my journey when the council meeting was called, and would like to take the opportunity to rest up now."

"Oh," Arthur looked vaguely surprised, before his mask was pulled back over his face. "Of course, please, I don't want to keep you."

Arthur held open the door, gesturing for Merlin to step through, before striding off down the hallway himself.

Merlin breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the now closed doors, hand over his heart.

At least Arthur had bought th-

Arthur!

Arthur who was on his way to Merlin's chambers now.

Arthur, who was expecting to see a sick manservant lying on his bed not said bed being empty.

Fuck.

This was going to be harder than Merlin thought.

A/N You can blame N16 for the name...

(Please don't)