"Come on Hades I'm bored. Isn't there something else I can do around here that doesn't involve making you lunch." Emily was trying to peer over his shoulder to understand who the figurines on his map were supposed to represent.
Hades hummed at her request before setting down Minotaur miniature onto the board. His hand replaced the figurine with a piece which resembled a black temple.
"Guess what kid? You just earned yourself a promotion." Hades grinned ominously before setting the building back onto the map. Hades stood with a slow stretch and pushed his chair back.
Emily was unable to react before a cloud of smoke pulled her forward and clouded her vision in black. She felt the floor shift under her feet and gave a shallow inhale. Dirty air filled her lungs and she started to cough.
"Welcome to my temple." Hades flung his arms wide before he noticed his seer's coughing fit and cleared the smoke from the air with a single wave.
"It's rustic." Emily stepped across the marble floor in uncertain steps. The temple was not well cared for and, unlike the other Grecian temples Emily had seen, there was no obvious depiction of Hades anywhere. At most she could make his silhouette out from a few painted tiles along the walls. At least, there was no mistaking the temple as another god's since the skull motif took over the entire building.
"I know. I know. It's a fixer upper. But with a little elbow grease, I'm sure you will have it shining." Hades shrugged nonchalantly at the cracked marble and dingy tiles. He had little to do with the living and the living had little to do with him. He saw no point in maintaining a space which provided him with little to no personal benefits.
"Me?" The amount of time and effort it would take for her to make his black temple shine. It was more than a lifetime's worth of work.
"Well, you and the staff." He wondered where the entire cult had gone. At least one guy should have been on the site. Were they really hiding from him again? One little visit from the King of the Dead and every mortal gets a little nervous that their expiration date's up.
"There's no way-" She pulled at his arm gently hoping to convince him that this task was beyond her capabilities.
"Sorry, must have a chunk of brimstone in my ear because I thought little-miss-bored was refusing a job." He flicked the soot from his ear and leaned close, deliberately flicking his forked tongue over needle point teeth.
"Nothing." She swallowed at his proximity. The heat radiating off his flaming head was warm enough. There was no way in Hades, she was increasing his temperature any hotter.
"Good. Better get you introduced before I leave." His eyes narrowed as he used the shadows to search all the spaces of his temple, including the catacombs. There those cloaked schmucks were.
"You're leaving?" She did not like the idea of him leaving her alone in his creepy temple with his border-line evil staff. While Underworld certainly wasn't better for company, at least the food was decent.
"Got the cosmos to conquer. And you could use a couple months on the job. Relax, every seer ends up serving a temple. Lucky you, it's mine." The god's mood brightened at her alarm. She was going to miss him. Cute.
"But what about my job downstairs?" She tried to follow Hades as he shifted quickly through the shadows of the temple. She had no success keeping up with Hades and was forced to track the glow of blue flames with her eyes.
"I don't do the whole answering whiny mortal prayers schtick and most mortals don't even bother so don't expect me to pop over very often." He gave the explanation with a shrug as he rested his back against a dusty banister. Good, the priest was on his way.
"Nicco!" Hades' voice boomed through the temple. He was officially annoyed that his priest was taking so long to answer his summons.
"My lord. I did not expect you to visit. It's August." A wide-eyed priest came rushing from behind a tattered curtain. The priest's face was red from exhaustion. His eyes were dark and while usually shrewd were now wild with terror. Even the usually well combed jagged beard was wiry and twisted.
"Yeah, yeah. I know. It's my off season." He brushed the comment away with an annoyed scowl before disappearing in the smoke only to reappear behind Emily. He hated the month of August.
"Meet my new seer. She's now in charge of my temple." Hades grinned at his priest sinisterly.
"My lord? Surely you don't mean to place a woman in charge of your services." While it was not unheard of a woman to perform the services of a goddess it was inappropriate for a woman to represent a god.
"Relax, Nicco. You still get services." Gray smokey arms wrapped around the priest's narrow shoulders.
"Just follow orders, kay?" Hades' smile widened when his priest gave a reluctant nod.
Emily shifted uncomfortably under the priest's dark look. She really did not want to tell this guy to do anything.
"Great. Now that introductions are over with I'm headed back. The underworld's a calling." Hades slapped Emily on the back and she had to move two steps forward simply to avoid face planting onto the ground. She smiled sheepishly at the priest, who merely rolled his eyes at the display.
"Oh and Em, babe? I expect this place to shine." Hades smirked before disappearing back down to the Underworld in a puff of smoke.
—
It took months to clean Hades' temple to the point it actually resembled a temple. She was surprised at the infrequency of Hades' visits, but chalked it up to the god's scheming nature. The priest still barely listened to her suggestions and only deferred to her requests on threat to call down to Hades for mediation. Otherwise, her tenure inside Hades' temple was unbearably plain.
For the most part, no one besides the meager staff visited the temple. The so-called services comprised of a grotesque sacrifice of blood dribbled into a bottomless pit within the temple's catacombs.
Every full moon the priest would take a black sheep to the edge of the pit and bang his hands onto the ground before dribbling the animal's blood down the hole and throwing down the freshly drained sacrifice into the pit. Emily suspected these sacrifices were not actually received by Hades. She wondered what enjoyed them on his behalf.
"Don't you think we should try to bring more people into the temple? I mean at most we get maybe one—maybe two visitors every month." Emily grimaced at the priest's bloody clothes. He was getting ready for their third full moon.
"I will remind you once again that the Rich One left his services in my hands—not yours." The priest rolled his eyes at the impious woman. He wondered just why such a useless seer would be given a role in his temple.
"What if we could get more people in by offering them something only Hades can do?" She cheekily used Hades name to draw attention to the fact she was not afraid to call the god by his name. For some reason, Hades' own priests avoided using his name and instead used way too many alternative monikers to invoke the god's presence.
"What the Unseen One offers is a home to the dead that the living desire never to visit." The priest winced at the use of Hades' name. He was still baffled that the girl had no fear to speak his name and was unphased by their Dread Lord's furious attention. Surely the god would not treat her lightly for wasting his time.
"What about the dead visiting the living?" Emily began playing with the edges of the alchemist table, careful not to spill any of the strange concoctions onto the surface.
"The dead may never leave the Underworld. Surely even you know that." The priest moved a particularly valuable bottle away from the careless girl's reach. He was not eager to repurchase any of these supplies as the coins to do so were supplied by Hades' imps. He could still recall the unpleasant process that was requesting more funding from the two shapeshifters.
"I bet it would draw people in. Who doesn't want to talk with their loved ones after they pass?" Emily rolled her eyes at the priest. She wasn't going to break anything again. She had only broken a single bottle during her time here and the priest had acted like she murdered someone. Nicco even forced her to request more coins from Pain and Panic. The imps had hardly made much fuss. At most the two minions had warned her to not screw up again before skittering away.
"I see why our Lord of Ash left me in charge of the services. You are barely competent enough to get the few simple tasks he assigned accomplished." The priest glared at her nonchalance.
"I'm plenty qualified. Besides, just because I have no desire to throw sheep carcasses down a hole, doesn't make me incompetent." Hades' priests were all uptight. The entire sect was terrified of Hades coming anywhere near his own temple. She suspected their devotion was less a means to please their god and more a method to keep the god at arm's length and selfishly extend their own lifespans.
"I have the authority to make these kinds of changes and I plan on doing so." Emily stood to her full height which was not much in comparison to the gangly priest, but still it made her point.
"By all means do so. But how exactly do you plan to speak with the dead?" The priest barely shifted a glance her way.
"I don't know." Emily deflated immediately.
"I could always ask Hades." She smiled. Emily didn't see the harm in asking. The big guy wouldn't mind a question or two. Plus, she hadn't bugged him in the last few months so she doubted he would mind.
"He is not to be disturbed except under the most dire of circumstances." The priest turned away abruptly. Hades was not a god to be freely summoned. On the god's best days he was tempestuous and on his worst the nearest mortals experienced a fate far worse than death.
"Oh come on, you know he just says that he's unavailable to avoid having people ask him to stop them from dying or ask him bring the dead back to life." Emily roled her eyes at Nicco's dramatics. Hades was not that bad.
"Which is exactly what you plan to ask of him." Nicco hissed the words at her.
"No. I'm only asking him to let the living speak to the dead. Not even one little resurrection. I think the big ham will love getting more worshipers praying to him over such easy asks." Hades liked his praise and she doubted he'd ever dislike getting more prayers while giving up so little.
Emily left the priest to focus on summoning the god for a consultation. She of course had no idea how to call up Hades, and resorted to screaming his name randomly throughout the temple.
"Hades! Hey Sparky!" Emily called for Hades for several minutes without result. She did not want to shout down into the mutton meat pit, but was left with no other options.
"Come on Hades! Get your blue butt up here. I had a vision on how to make your temple shine." It wasn't exactly true but she hoped the bait was enough. Still she received nothing but silence.
"Figures when I need some divine intervention he's Mr. No-Show. Don't you know how much I need your pointy shark toothed smile and fast talking wits." Emily sighed and slunk down a black marble pillar.
"Aww I'm blushing." Hades appeared from a shadow behind her. Long gray smokey fingers wrapped around the pillar only to solidify and pinch her chin and force her to look up at his ruthless face.
"About time. I have an idea." Emily leaned into his grip to pull herself up from her slumped position. As soon as she was standing she started rambling in an excited patter about her most recent idea.
"No can do." Hades shook his head at her proposition. He was not interested in expanding his earthly capital ventures. The living did little to increase his divine power and he was far to preoccupied with the overthrow of Zeus to defer his attention in that direction.
"What do you mean?" Emily had to move quickly to follow Hades as he started to pace away from her.
"Strictly forbidden. The dead do not get to come back upstairs even if it's just to talk." Hades emphasized the words with a sneer and illustrated his point with a smokey image of a man fleeing from a snarling Cerberus.
"Come on, there's got to be a loophole. I know you're too much of a devious genius to not give yourself some wiggle room." She noticed Hades smirk growing. Bingo. He definitely knew of a loophole. She would just need to get him talking.
"Why would I want there to be a loophole?" Hades smile grew wider. The girl really did know him.
"There are no clear-cut loopholes babe." Hades floated above her head and ruffled her blonde hair. She really wanted this favor from him. He wondered what she got out of such a deal.
"Bummer. Especially since I figured you'd want to piss off Zeus." Emily cranes her neck to look straight up to register how much of a nerve she's struck. She saw a quick flash of red and knew she was in his sweet spot.
"I mean it's the one thing only you can deliver. Not a single deity in your entire pantheon can allow the living to converse with the dead. That's strictly your jurisdiction." She braced for the bite as she pulled nearer to the now standing god.
"Not even mighty Zeus." The words popped across her tongue and danced directly into Hades's ear.
Hades felt himself flare. His little seer was playing a very sultry game but he didn't have the time to play. There was too much on his plate.
"You bring up a very good point. One that you are being a little heavy handed with but I'll concede. It's the one thing not even my baby brother Zeus can't do." Hades tilted his head and considered her request seriously. He didn't particularly like allowing the dead these sorts of accommodations, but he could bend if the incentives were just right.
"Come on Hades, all those stiffs need to do is say a couple words to their next of kin and your temple will be abuzz with activity." Emily hoped he'd find the mimicry of his usual word choice flattering. It was a risk if he deemed she held even the smallest intent to mock the god. She smiled widely at his eye roll which signaled she was in the clear.
"Okay. Deal. Sheesh you've sold me already." Hades slung a warm arm around her waist to pull Emily into his frame. Hades reached into his robe to remove a crystal ball.
"What's that?" Emily did not dare try and shrug off his arm which rested solidly against her hip. Instead she focused on the gleaming ball of blue light.
"It's a scrying ball which I may or may not use to threaten those wayward souls who hold up my entrance lines in Pandemonium." Hades grinned the fond memories of frightening the dead to order. The task usually gave him a place to vent his temper.
"Can they yak back?" Emily could make out a few outlines of dead souls wandering across a barren plane.
"Probably. Who knows. But I'm in a rush so figure it out yourself." Hades shrugged. If he had more time to waste with the seer he would have enjoyed exchanging favors for the advice in a manner similar to his brothers. Yet, he doubted she'd respond to such a request as gracefully as a mortal should and his mood would sour considerably at the implications.
"Wait! One last thing?" Emily figured it wouldn't hurt to press her advantage a bit further. Hades could be generous when the rare mood struck.
"What!" Hades felt his temper rise, and his skin went red. He sucked in a breath and forced himself back to blue. She really needed to work on her decorum with her deity.
"I miss your scheming, malicious, overly-complicated plans. So, you better start visiting your temple a little more." Emily rolled her eyes at how quickly Hades went from a mini meltdown to chuckling warmly over hooded eyes.
"Be careful babe. I might just accept that invitation." Oh, if only he had more time.
Emily watched with an amused smile as Hades disappeared into a dark ball of smoke. She wasn't sure what she'd do if Hades pressed her for more than banter, but she did know that if she wanted to get back home she'd need Hades' cooperation.
Notes: There was another Chapter 3 prior to this one, but I felt like it was headed into a dark direction too soon. Personally, I love my uncomfortable, awkward, angst filled fanfics. But, for Hades I felt like it was best to keep the story closer to its more humorous movie roots and then slowly add a darker adult context over it. I want there to be as many references/call backs to Ancient Greece, but given my research skills it will likely be surface level at best. I wish I knew more about Ancient Greece, especially given the fact my family came to America from Greece (second-gen whoop-whoop). I'm not the most frequent updater, but when I need to decompress I find it relaxing to write fanfic about my comfort characters. I grew up watching Hercules as a kid and Hades was and will always be my favorite character. I love Hades and wish there were more materials on the character. I would love to see a more mature (with the same OG comedic style) approach to the character. I mean scene one the guy is joking about choking to death on sentimentality at a baby shower and he IMMEDIATELY follows the baby shower up with an attempted infanticide. I mean sure Hades still would not be the worst in the pantheon if we pretend the OG Greek myths are cannon, but it demonstrates how QUICKLY Hades can go from snide party guest with a couple sassy one liners to a RUTHLESS God willing to murder babies on a contingency that Hercules MIGHT make him lose.