The last hour for Farran had been nothing but torture. Everything had been turned upside down so quickly. The snow wraiths that they had spent the last few days trying to capture had now been saved by the dragon lovers. Somehow, in some way they had escaped their icey prison and hit back hard. The attack had happened so fast that they had almost gotten Ryker, had it not been for Heather and her pet. The only upside that Farran could see to all this was that he wasn't the only one suffering.
Now, there he sat. Alone in one of the many private quarters within the bowels of the Dragons Bane, contemplating on his show of weakness from before, when he had attacked the snow wraith out of rage. Even now he could still see Rykers face turning purple as he screamed bloody murder right at his face for damaging their prize. Though Farran couldn't help but feel he was holding back. Regardless, he felt better here where he wasn't needed at the moment. Where no-one would try asking what he was thinking taking on a dragon by himself.
Minutes felt like hours. All that could be heard was the sound of waves slamming into the ships hull. He could smell the sea too. The room smelt salty. It helped ease his mind.
'What's done is done.' He told himself. 'Might as well take this time to relax while I still can.'
With a sigh, he began to lie down on the bed and rest his head on the feather filled pillow. Almost right away. The need to sleep began to quickly take over and he shut his eyes. His frown disappeared.
*KNOCK* *KNOCK*
Only to reappear right away. Farrans eyes slowly opened and looked in the direction of the door, giving an irritated growl.
"Occupied." He snapped, hoping that however was outside would get the message. Unfortunately not as the knocking repeated. Farran grudgingly lifted himself off of the bed and walked over to answer the door, tempted to give whomever had the gall to knock at his door a stern reminder of why he should be left alone. He opened the door.
Upon seeing who stood on the other side, he didn't show any reaction other than his menacing glare lessening, but still remaining.
"Miss Heather." He greeted before allowing his guest in, expecting yet another harsh telling off from his tormentor. "Can I help you with something?"
Heather didn't say anything. Instead she inspected the room she was in. Checking the walls and the ceiling. Why she did so, Farran didn't ask.
Mostly because he didn't care. All he wanted was for her to leave as soon as possible and leave him so he could get some sleep. When she was done tapping the wall with the window, she spoke up.
"You know why I'm here."
"To tell me what has already been said by Ryker?"
"That depends. I want to know why you did what you did." She faced Farran. "For someone who seems usually disciplined, you must have had a reason for attacking such a dangerous creature without any disregard for your own life."
Farran huffed. "I hold little disregard for my life Miss Heather, but that was not the reason for my mistake. Besides, the way I see it, it no longer matters since they are gone."
Heather took a few intimidating steps closer to the amateur hunter, though he managed to hold his ground.
"And that excuses your actions?"
"I've already had Ryker deal with me. That is punishment enough, wouldn't you agree?"
"Maybe I want to deal with you myself."
"And do you?"
The two locked eyes, glaring at each other. Neither refusing to break eye contact. It took over half a minute before Heather sighed and looked away.
"Actually no." The steel in her voice had gone. "Look, all I want to know is why you went crazy back there. Trust me, I've seen that kind of strength and it is dangerous."
Farran gave an amused smirk and blew air from his nostrils. "Strength? That wasn't strength back there. That was weakness."
Heather gave him a look. "Weakness doesn't give a dragon a knife to the shoulder."
"Weakness in body, no." He spat bitterly. "In mind? A different story."
Farran sighed. No doubt that the spy would be digging around for an explanation. He decided to make himself comfortable and sit back down on the bed, barely on the edge. Heather reluctantly did the same. Farran watched as she mimicked his action before continuing.
"The mind is an interesting thing. It can be your sanctuary or your prison. It memorises all your best moments and your worst. Some more clearly than others."
Farran took a moment to breathe. "I suppose that's where it developed, that spark of weakness. From bad memories. I take it you want to know what particular memory?"
Heather thought about it. "If you think you should."
"Yeah well, I'll give you the basics. The less I tell you the easier. Ten years old, dragon raid. House was burning down so I had to run outside where I came across..." His hand trembled slightly and his face looked as though he was fighting his mind over remembering something. "... A certain sight that no child should ever have to see. That night also happened to be the night I killed my first and only dragon. Well, sort of. It was seriously injured so I never properly counted it as my first kill. But to think that I did at ten years old. Who'd have thought a kid could have that sort of will to carry out something so dangerous?"
He was right. He did give the basics. The basic basics. Yet the story was clear to follow for Heather. She was curious to know more.
"All over something you saw?"
"Yep."
"May I ask what it was? That you saw I mean?"
Farran grumbled. He could hear a young voice screaming in his head. The voice of a child.
"DIE DIE DIE! I HATE YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! I HATE YOU AND YOUR KIND!"
Farran immediately blocked it out.
"No."
Rank or not, Heather knew that it was best not to argue over someone elses personal life. Especially if they seemed protective of it. Maybe it was best to try something else.
"So it was that which made you join the dragon hunters?"
"After nine years, yes."
"You didn't have anything else you could have done with your life other than revenge?"
Farran sighed.
"Really now? We're going down this route again?"
"What do you mean?" Heather asked, looking confused.
"You're trying to convince me that there's something else I could be doing with my life just like you did the first time we met. Don't deny it, I know your game at this point."
"That's not-! Okay, perhaps a little, but you're too young for this sort a business."
"And that's coming from someone who's my age. Or round about. Rather hypocritical of you."
Heather looked away. When she turned back, about to say something else, Farran beat her to it.
"Can I ask you a question this time?"
Heather nodded.
"Do you remember what I was like when we first met?"
"Hard to forget. You were... actually not that far off from what you are now. Just instead of being afraid of authority like you were with me, you're now more... cold and distant. Specifically against me..."
"Exactly. Do you know why I changed that suddenly?"
Heather shook her head.
"Not long before we first met I did actually consider if this role was the one I wanted, being surrounded by creatures that had taken so much from me. And then you arrived and began stoking the fire that had nearly died out. Asking about my purpose and reminding me of the fate of nearly everyone I cared for. It helped me understand that I had an opportunity to do right by my family still. It lifted my spirits and fuelled my desire to kill that which is evil enough to slaughter entire villages of innocent people." Farran looked at Heather. "A fire that you have helped grow with every comment you made to me. Every attempt to weaken my resolve has instead strengthened it, made me more determined to prove my worth here."
The hunter stood up and walked to the window.
"Hate is a powerful, but unstable emotion. But I will not deny that it is the one thing that has kept me going. Only now it's stronger than it has been in years. And right now, I don't know whether to thank you, curse your name or what. I guess we'll find out in time."
"That sounds like a threat."
"It's not supposed to be. It's just a reminder."
"A reminder of what?"
"The only thing that matters. The future and what it may hold." Farran turned back to face her. "Do you know what the butterfly effect is?"
Heather shook her head.
"It's where an event ends up shaping the undecided future, making someone do something that they may not have done without an anomaly occurring. For example, I may have actually ended up quitting this business had you not intervened, but because you did it's now a path that will never be walked down. Kind of like wanting to go left but convinced to go right. At least that's my understanding of it."
The two remained in silence for a few moments. Farran had given her enough to think about.
"Forgive me but, would it be possible for you to leave? I'll need some rest before we return back home."
"Of course. Sorry."
Heather got up to leave. She made her way over to the door. Slowly. She was about to shut it until...
"Miss Heather?"
"Yes?"
"I'm surprised to say this but, I look forward to our next meeting."
Heather closed the door, leaving Farran on his own. She herself unsure what to feel.