P.I.S.S.O.F.F.
CH 4
ISDH
121
"No mischief?" the Fat Lady asked the twins
"Not tonight." they were perfect Angels...
"We decided to be more like our Brothers."
"As you say," the painting swung open, allowing the sixth year female Prefect to see the group…
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"Just do you think you two are doing?" Her dorm mate, Katy had told many stories over the years…
"Just we told our Dear Lady…"
"...just showing the kiddies…"
"...the ropes." Fred waggled his eyebrows at the girl, "If you are interested, we can show you a completely different set of ropes…" only to yelp as Hermione fired a stinging hex into his butt cheek.
"Ladies." the Fourth year slung her wand, "There is a time and a place for this behavior. While they are just joking, as they are supposed to be showing you to the Tower." She patted Fred on the face as she strutted by, "You can not just hex any boy you please. But when the dog is humping your leg…"
"Well…" Harry followed in her wake, "I always knew she was cat person."
"Says the guy who is whipped by his Owl." Neville moved toward the stairs to his bed, before calling back over his shoulder, "Herbology help, every friday, after classes."
Harry and Hermione sat on the couches before the minor fire.
"Okay, now that we are here..."
"The point we were making earlier…"
"...a place as old…"
"...Steeped in damn near every form of magic…"
"...known to man…"
"...or otherwise…"
"...as our dear Hogwarts…"
"...will have some quirks."
"Most are benien…"
"...very few are malicious."
"There are times we would swear the very stone is alive." they choursed.
Fred smiled at the kiddies, "Treat her like the Lady she is…"
"...She will repay it, three and ten Fold." George stepped to the side, "This side is the Girls Dorm. There are wards to prevent males from entering, we can not even set foot on the steps without the wards going to hell."
"This side is for us Young men." Fred waved in the direction Neville went. "While the girls are allowed to visit, we do not advise this act…"
"...at this time." they choursed.
Hermione snorted. "Okay girls, First door up the stairs, your trunks are waiting. You can trade beds if you want, but odds are you will be in that position for the next seven years."
"We will be getting up at half seven..." Fred called the attention back to him.
"...So be ready to descend for breakfast at eight."
The two fifth year prefects shared a look, nodded, and left the twins to their game. The first years scrambled up their stairs to their rooms, ready to begin their new lives as Gryffindors.
121
Oct. 29, 1994
Everything was going to plan.
The twins were perfect angels, no pranks, perfect grades in all classes (execpt potions...Snape!) The teachers were getting twitchy, especially Snape.
Quiditch was back on, with the first game on it's usual date...the third saturday of November. Harry was named Quiditch Captain, but with the coming ternimet, he had Ginny borrow his Firebolt, and play seeker. He named Ron his second, and explained to the others why. This year Katey was in her OWLs year, and next the other two chasers would be in their NEWTs. Ron was the only one who came near Wood in Quiditch Fever. Practice was every Wednesday and Saturday nights, after dinner. Harry had a spare for every post on his team, but the Beaters, he had two, the Creevy boys.
The Marauders were ready, staying at #12 Grimmauld Place, until noon on the 31st. Then they would move into the castle from the 'Shack'. The robes for Harry, and the Professors of the coming Fourth School had arrived. (Little did Harry know but the Twins, Lee, Luna, and Hermione had ordered robes too.)
The paperwork had been filled out, signed, filed, and was just waiting to be turned in.(Again everyone had moved to join Harry.)
The special 'House Elf' class had gone well-ish. One word… Dobby.
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Flashback
The little guy had mugged Harry as he followed the group of first years, second year muggleborn, and Hermione into the Kitchens. "Great Wizard Harry Potter Sir! Are you here to see Dobby?" a squeaky voice from his knees was Harry's only warning.
The underclassmen had a good laugh, as Harry explained what was going on, before catching up with his little friend. Before they left, Harry had been tricked into bonding with Dobby, and to everyone's surprise, Winky.
"Potter… Harry James…" Hermione growled.
"No. You might have missed it, but I noticed the change in Dobby and Winky. Both calmed down, and both grew Healthier. I also noticed the draw on my Magic. If bonding caused that big a draw, imagine the pain they felt when cut loose." Harry watched her face shift from anger to horror, "Now image how bad Dobby was treated to want that…"
Her face paled even more. "Now I know what they went through, so you know I will treat them well. If you what, you can have Winky, because I personally have little need for a female elf."
"No. Not ready to take it that far… yet."
In the end, Winky was sent to care for Remus and Sirius, and was being groomed as the Black Elf. Kreacher was not happy, but was pleased that the 'Bad Master' had secured an Heir, even if not his prefered heir… until he heard Dobby's tale… no heads on the wall, just kicked to the curb, and killed.
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What not as planned;
Luna Lovegood was still being targeted by her house.
Harry had gotten into the habit of watching her on the map each night as curfew approached, and if she was not in her dorm or common room at the strike of the bell, he would slip his Father's cloak on, and go get her. So far, she spent at least one night per week in the Lion's Den. Usually on the couch before the fire, but twice, Ginny invited her upstairs.
Ron had taken to slacking off even more on the homework front. Harry mentioned it to the boy, and Ron made a comment about having Hermione do it for him. Harry slapped him down before Hermione could hex him, "You need to do the work, in front of me, or I will cut you from the team, even if you are the best Keeper since Wood." When Ron opened his mouth to retort, "I will also tell McGonagall and your Mother. If I going to keep that Cup in our Head's Office, I need the best, and not just on the pitch!"
In the end, Ron buckled. But Harry had to promise to take him to a Cannon's Game if McGonagall kept the cup, and Ron kept an A average.
Dumbledor and Snape were giving Harry the Hairy Eye, but thanks to his summer classes, Harry knew not to look them in the eye.
Harry sighed as the Map showed Miss Chang Walking Luna out of the Ravenclaw common room again. He did not even wait, he just flipped the cloak on right in the middle of the common room, before heading out.
He came upon Chang forcing Luna to strip to her knickers at wandpoint. "...is why you just don't quit? What could be keeping you here?" as the Asian witch vanished the clothes.
"P.I.S.S. O.F.F." the blonde snarled, finally showing anger.
"What did you say to me?" Chang raised her wand.
"Piss off." Harry striped away the cloak, "You will not be welcome." his wand flicked 'Stupify' The fifth year was knocked against the wall then left to slide to the floor in a crumpled heap. "Dobby." the elf popped in next to his master's knee. "Miss Luna needs a dressing gown and slippers. Then move her things to Gryffindor Tower." a snap of his long fingers, and a red and gold robe were about the blonde's shoulders and slippers encased her feet. The elf popped away to obey.
"Moving me into the tower?"
"Only two nights." Harry flared his cloak to flutter over them both, "then we will be in the Piss Quarters." as they faded from view, "We just need to get your Dad to sign the paperwork."
"Already signed, filed, and just waiting until the night after tomorrow to be handed over. Remember, give them to McGonagall, she handles the Admin paperwork."
121
10/31/94
The last two days, everything fell into place.
The Quibbler ran an in depth issue on the Black case and the Rotfang trying to kill the Lord of the Realm. Everyone was quoting passages here and there, and while only a few pure bloods showed it, all were worried about what the possibility of the Ministry ordering the Death of a Lord would mean in a court of law.
Of course, The Profit ran a couple of articles about how everything was on the up and up, (Umbridge, UnderSecretary to the Minister) but they would call off the 'Kiss on Sight' and recheck the Court Records(Bones Director of DMLE).
Then the Guest Schools arrived. Of course Fred and George had lined up the first three years of gryffs and cast warming charms on them, causing the Prefects of the other houses to do the same, or be out prefected by the 'red terrors'.
First to arrive was Beauxbatons, a gigantic carriage pulled by six massive horses, Abraxis, that landed roughly, and rolled to a stop forty yards from the Great Doors. A lad, hopped off the back, bounding to the door, he folded out a set of steps, then knocked on the gilded wood, stepped back as the door swung open, and out stepped a goddess of a woman…
"Headmistress Maxime." Dumbledor swept up to her, kissing her hand… and not having to even incline his head… "Perhaps you and your students would like to await Igor inside, Hagrid will care for your beasts, McGonagall will show you were to wait." the Teachers he named stepped forward.
"My Horses only drink single malt scotch." the giantess nodded to Hagrid.
The Creatures Professor nodded back slack faced, as McGonagall snorted, "Horses after me heart. Bring your students, and let's get you out of the nasty weather."
Just then, a shout rang out, drawing everyone's attention to the black lake… and the man standing waist deep in the center of the lake. With a wave of his arms, he grabbed something only he see, and pulled… heaved. A massive single masted vessel exploded from the depths, once clear of the water, Sails, flaired, Umber with the Durmstrang coat-of-Arms in Gold. The Ship swung towards the pier, and moving against the wind, pulled into position, where ropes snapped out, and lashed itself to the dock. The gangplank extended, biting into the warped wood, just as the fur bundled forms marched, in lock step, two abreast, behind their Headmaster.
Albus was there to shake the man's hand, "Good to see you, Snape will show you to your waiting room."
"Waiting Room?"
"Beauxbatons arrived first, they get to enter first." Snape snarked, "This way." they disappeared into the castle.
"Okay, to your tables." the squeaky voice of the Charming Charms Professor called across the students, and everyone trudged into the castle…
121
Now was the night.
Harry was dressed, as was Black and Lupin, in their 'P.I.S.S.' robes. Harry then pulled his Hogwarts cloak on, and settled back. His wand was in a wand sheath, strapped to his left arm. And the paperwork was divided and folded, ready to be handed to McGonagall. The mirror was in Hermione's possion, and Harry was just waiting for the dinner bell.
Dinner was that night was rather quiet, as everyone ate their fill and watched the Goblet. The Twins had opened a triple bet pool. You could bet on which school got which champion, one bet per school, or you could try your luck, at triple the odds, and name all three Champions on one bet.
The Minster and his Toad… er toady, Umbridge was there, as was Bones(any excuse to visit Susan) as well as Bagman and Crouch. Skeeter and Bozo were in the background.
The great clock over the doors clicked, just before the clock struck 9:00 pm.
"Show time." Hermione whispered to 'her' mirror.
As the blue flames in the golden cup flickered out, Albus moved to stand near by, so did the Weasley twins, a chalkboard and an accounting ledger in hand. Albus frowned at the boys, until he saw the board… the odds were written in three different colours. Red for D.I.M., blue for Beauxbatons, and Gold for Hogwarts. The main light candles near snuffed themselves, allowing the cup to be the source of Light in the Hall.
Suddenly the flames resurged from the cup, Hellish Crimson shading and foreshadowing the Death awaiting those chosen. A scrap of parchment fluttered down for Albus to catch.
"For Durmstrang, Victor Krum!"
"Heavily chosen, Those who bet for Krum, get only double." Fred called out, as George marked the Board, their Hogwarts cloaks pulled tight about them.
Krum stood from the Slytherin table, and strode to the ante room off the Head table…
A second red flare, a second scrap of parchment fluttered into the headmaster's grasp.
"For Beauxbatons, Fleur DeLacour!"
"Not as heavily favored, as most of us who knew her, were left agog at her beauty. The payout is triple." a few cheers went up, mostly younger students.
The walking sex dream stood and drifted after Krum.
And the Third flare… the Last slip of parchment…
"Hogwarts… Cedric Diggory!"
As the pretty boy stood and waited for the twins…
"Heavily favored, double what was bet on either of his fellow chosen… tied with our Dear Angela… second only to…" Fred looked at Albus "Harry Potter."
The Gryffindors laughed, the Ravenclaws snickered, and the Hufflepuffs giggled.
"Payout, is only half again your bet."
Cedric nodded, and trotted off to the other room.
Albus raised his hands to calm the room… when the Goblet flared a fourth time.
Everyone froze. Albus barely caught the slip in time…
As the goblet truly died out, and the Candles around the Hall flaired to life.
"Harry Potter."