P.I.S.S.O.F.F.
Ch 7
121
The Pub of Leaky Cauldron, normally calm and quiet in the mornings, was in a minor uproar, this morning, as the Prophet had told the World of Wizarding Britain that not only was Black at Hogwarts, but Potter thought he was Innocent, and had called on him to help in a crunch. Where most of his patrons drank tea or coffee in the mornings, this mornings, Tom was being called to serve Firewhiskey, and hard cider. Those who were drinking Coffee were drinking it heavily Irish(one part coffee/ two parts scotch).
Then the Floo belched, and out stepped two wizards in white robes…
The whole taproom went dead quiet, before erupting into full and true chaos, as wizards and witches tried to mob the youth. The older of the two stepped forward, and growled, causing the massive crowd to pull back. "Lord Potter will talk to the people when he has finished his business with the Bank. We have a busy day, but We will take the time to tell the People the Truth, not the edited spin reported by the Prophet." Shooting a Look at Tom, "Can someone please contact the Quibbler, as by Contract, Lord Potter can only answer questions asked by the Public, for the Public, With the Public, if a rep from the Paper is in attendance." He then plowed through the the crowd toward the back door, Harry following along in his wake.
Once into the Alley proper, they picked up speed, to just short of a jog, as they hit the steps. As they mounted the stepps Lupin looked to the Guards, "When we are done within, we were hoping to use your stepps for a press conference. The Sheep will be gathering shortly." He smiled at the goblins as he drew next to them, "Of course, you are welcome to herd them to the side so they do not block access to the Bank, but still maintain order. Position is first come, first place."
The Goblins grinned back, bossing around Wizards was a favorite past-time among the guards. Tapping a rune, the Commander called for backup…
121
Xeno was scribbling a note about the Rotfang and their work to crush the soul of the People, when a 'Knocking' on the window of the Office caused him to look up. There was Hooter, his Daughter's Barn Owl. Opening the Window, he removed the scroll, his eyes opening as he read the words, Harry Potter, Chosen, and Contracted with Quibbler.
'My Little Moonbeam! She will take us to great lengths.' He chuckles to himself, just as he heard the pounding of steps up the narrow stairs to the front office. He stepped out the back office just as Thom from the Pub up the street popped his head in.
"Oh! Xeno. Potter just went to Gringotts. He is planning to hold a Press Conference on the steps. He needs you there to take questions. As the Prophet will be there if not Skeeter, and Potter's Steward said that you get the First Question."
Xeno grabbed his overcoat, his notepad and a self-inking quill, as he followed the Barkeep down the steps, "I will get you a free copy for this tip." the Blond eyesore grinned at the Barkeep, as he turned to jog to the Bank. Already a small group were queuing up, being herded by the Goblins to form an orderly pack.
Xeno stepped up, ran his eyes over the shoulder piece that depicted the rank of those who knew how to read them, "My good Goblin. I was told that this group was for the Potter Press Conference. Am I in the right place?"
The Goblin snorted an affirmative.
"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions while we wait?" Xeno was bringing his pad and quill into play.
The goblin grunted.
"Now, I know you can not or will not speak of Business handled behind your golden doors, but I was hoping for a few words on Master Potter's baring, Your impression of the young man."
The goblin grunted, before dragging his beady eyes over the gathering crowd. He then sneered a goblin smile, "Young Warrior brings much enjoyment to us. Last year he ran about the alley, as if it was his backyard. This Year, he gets invited to show his steel against those who think they his betters. We even have a betting pool as to who will fall in his wake and when." He shifted the pike to his other hand, "I personally have three gold and a dagger bet that he gutts the pink cave-toad before the new year."
Xeno blinked as looked up from his notes, "Politically, or…?"
The Goblin just grinned.
Xeno nodded, "Politically would hurt her more, but…" he made a note. He turned to the housewife of a witch on the other side of him…
121
Lupin and Potter cued up, and were quickly before a teller.
"Next!"
"Ah, MasterTeller." Lupin nodded at the smaller non-human. 'Respectful, Polite, but never Prey!' Lupin twitched his Robes, "Mister Potter is here to see Barchoke and Ashrack, as soon as they are available."
The Goblin peered over the small wire rimmed glasses perched on his nose. "He is?"
Harry nodded at the Goblin. [Greetings Keeper of the Horde. I seek to do battle in the way of Profit. May your coffers overflow.]
The Goblin's eyes widened, [You speak?]
[As a Child, Keeper. My Seer has taught me the basics.] Harry bobbed his head, but never broke eye contact.
"Await over there." The Goblin flicked his long fingers at a bench next to the inner doors. "Next!"
[May your foes wet themselves at the whisper of your name.] Harry led the way to the bench.
"When did you…?" Lupin asked as he followed his cub to the bench.
"Luna taught me. I speak as a child, but no Pureblood Wizard will be able to know what I am saying. Remember when I wrote to you and Padfoot, I told you this Prank was going to be big. We had two months, and many reasons to for this to hit and Hit big." He perched on the molded stone.
Lupin had barely dropped onto the bench, Griphook appeared at their elbow. "This way." As the older wizard leveraged himself to his feet, Harry grinned, [Griphook, May Profit fall upon you. How do you fare?]
[You speak?] the young(ish) goblin blinked, [Doing well, for a envoy third class.] He cocked his head at the lad, [Word from the Vents say that you are in the big Games at Hogwarts.] As he turned and led them back to the Offices.
[I have that honor.] Harry easily kept pace with the Smaller being, [An honor I would rather have avoided.] He looked at the Wolf-man at his heel, before a Grin showing many teeth spread over his face. [Of course, any retelling of the Wisdom from the Vents, would indebt me to the Whisperer. I would of course keep any confidence my… Advisor were to share.]
[Nothing that has to do with Bank Business.]
[Of course not. Though I might ask for advice on House Potter or Black behalf, but never to reveal Bank or Horde secrets. A share of the Profits, of course, would go the one who bridged the crevice between my Houses, and any ...Opportunity.]
The Goblin's ears twitched as did his nose. "One will remember. We are here. Manager Barchoke, keeper of House Potter Accounts. Ashrack will be along shortly, as soon as You have dealt with what is needed." He bowed his head to Harry, "Milord." He knocked on the door, and was gone.
"Come." a gravelly voice barked from behind the door.
As the two Wizards pushed the door, they noticed that the office behind was lined with rich tapestry depicting battle scenes. But in all of them, a certain banner flew over the Goblin-Human/wizard army, a House Flag that invoked a deep feeling in Harry's chest. Completely missing the Shaven headed Goblin behind the Desk, His back to the one wall not covered with woven battle scenes, instead he had a selection of Goblin weapons.
"Ah, Milord Potter." the Bald Goblin, grinned his snaggled smile at the lad, "I see you looking at the House Banner. Yes, Everytime we Goblins have marched into battle, House Potter has had our backs. Even when we took up arms with the Ministry, Potter supported us, and never took up wands against us."
Harry turned to the Manager, "All this history, and I knew none of it." He frowned, [We will have to change that.]
The Goblin's grin turned nasty, [That we will.] He pulled a folder from under the desk, "Let's begin. Heir Potter, are you here to claim your Ring?"
"Yes, Sir."
A ring box of white oak appeared on the desk. It offered a simple steel band holding a pea of a ruby. At the adults urging, Harry slid it on, and a wave of magic washed over him. A quill on the desk scratched out a few words. The Goblin read them, grunted, and looked at the boy.
"Heir Potter, Are you REady to take up the Mantle of Head of Potter?"
"Yes Sir."
The Ring morphed, becoming a wide Steel Band with a full carat Ruby. Inside the Ruby was the Sigil that was flying on the Banner in the Tapestries behind him. This time when the wave of magic washed over him, it rippled and ripped the veris wards and bindings off the Lad. Harry ended up on his knees as his mind and Magic soared.
121
In the headmaster's office, Ten of the Twelve silver devices on a shelf that could be seen from almost everywhere in the room, stopped, froze, screamed, and then exploded. One piece of shrapnel pierced Fawks' chest, causing him to conflagrate into a pile of ashes and a chick. The Last two were tied to the boy's blood as a Potter, and so survived the shift of their targets change of status.
121
In Surrey, a squib was out shopping for her 'Cats' when she saw a red flair and the sound of breaking glass. Her old, but quickened footsteps brought her to #4 Privet Dr. 'Merlin Boy! What Have you done this time?' She shuffled home, dropping her bag of tinned cat food on the Sofa, as she hurried to the Floo.
The Headmaster had to know!
121
"Now that was a Lorry!" the Boy struggled to his feet, before settling back into a chair before the desk.
"Well Whelp, you have just broken twenty binding, charms, and wards that were woven into your blood." The Goblin sneered, "You just have two 'blood tracers', a 'Mother's Love', and a 'Blood Taint' left to deal with. I would leave the 'Mother's Love' alone, as that has your mother's magical signature, and to remove it will be a pain. The 'Blood tracers' will fall when you take the Black ring." He frowned at his sheet, "Now this 'Blood Taint', where did you come across…" the glasses fell from his nose, as his eyes bugged out. "Basilisk Venom, near on a Millennium old? And Phoenix Tears?"
"May before Last." Harry sighed, "Tom Riddle got a Diary of his that he had ensouled, into the Possession of a friend of mine, and the Soul Fragment tried to take her over. One thing it tried to do was release Slytherin's Beast from the Chamber of Secrets. I ended up killing it, driving my sword through it's mouth into the brain." he pushed up the sleeve of his robe, to show the circle scar. "She caught me with a fang as she died. I would have joined her on the cold floor, if the Headmaster's Bird had not cried into the wound."
The Goblin and Wolf blinked...twice. "Just out of curiosity, What sword did you use?" the Goblin had lost his smile.
"Um… the Sword of Godric Gryffindor." Harry blinked back, thinking of the ruby studded hilt of the Silver Steel Sword, and the Blade bloomed in his hand. "Where did you come from?" Harry asked the Blade as he brought it up.
"Ah, cub?" Lupin was worried about naked steel in front of a Goblin…
"My Lord. Careful with that. It is a Goblin Crafted Blade. Now most Goblin Crafted items are considered property of the Smith and his Clan." Goblin smiled, not showing as much teeth, "When an item is 'sold' it is more of a long term lease then a true purchase. Now My ancestor forged that blade, for your Ancestor Godric. The Blood ties are not direct, but the Lines are straight. Now normally I would Ask or Demand that the Blade be returned, but Godric wove his magic into the Blade. It will always appear when one of his descendants needed it. With your Kill of the Beast, I can not claim it, until your Death. Be warned, Do Not Let that Blade out of your Possession."
"What is the Big…"
"Harry," Lupin spoke softly, "Goblin Steel, especially their swords, have a nasty habit of… acquiring traits that would destroy lesser weapons. You said you punched up through the roof of the Snakes mouth… like where it's venom glands were?" At the boy's nod, "So, it is possible that your sword now is embedded with the venom of a Millennium old Basilisk. Plus whatever magic and spells that were cast upon it during Forging, and during Godric's Lifespan."
Harry very carefully placed the sword on the desk. "Looks like I am going to need a sheath for it, if I am going to keep it out of the Vault. Dumbledor had it in his office, until just now, so…"
[NEVER LET THAT BEARDED RAT ANYWHERE NEAR IT AGAIN!] the Goblin seathed from his chair. "The Headmaster has been draining your Trust Vault to all but the last knut, every year since your parents died, on the day before it was due to refill." The Potter Account Manager pounded his fist on the desk, "I was powerless to stop him, as he had a Power of the Ministry Decree naming him your Guardian."
"NO!" Lupin gasped.
"Yes!" the Goblin hissed back, "Black was sentenced to Life in Hell, you had signed away your rights by blood quill, the Longbottoms were as good as dead, and the Tonks… Never mind about them." the Goblin breathed deep. "The Old Goat, tried to push a marriage contract for a miss Weasley through, and on the power of that Contract, her Mother has been using your Trust Vault to pay for Schooling and supplies of her two youngest, and Mifflering away a cool three hundred gold each fall."
"Molly Weasley?" Lupin gasped.
"But all that changes today!" the Goblin sneered. "Lord Potter, with the Taking of your Lordship, All Potter Accounts are locked down. Your copy of your Father's Will." A scroll of Vellum was pushed into his hands. "Read it at your Leisure, Next Week, We will be having a Reading."
Harry had opened the scroll and had scanned it. One entry had caught his eye. "Sir. Can you send a portkey invite to each and every one listed in the will? I would also like to invite Fudge and Bones to the Reading, but only Fudge and Bones."
"Harry?" Remus asked.
"Not now Moony."
The Goblin's chin tucked in, as a sneer grew on his face. "I will also ask Bones to bring a few of her most trusted Aurors, if you will Allow."
"Okay. But check Everybody for the Dark Mark. I think we should only have two, but they are named in the Wills."
The Adults raised an eyebrow. "Your Mother's will." a second scroll was pasted to the lad, who again, scanned it, and nodded.
"Yep, Snape is invited too."
"How did you know he was Marked?" Lupin asked.
"My Father's cloak after dark." Harry grinned at the Marauder. "You Learn a lot of things when no one knows you are in the Room with them." Turning back to the Goblin, only two people should be marked. If more are, hold them. My Seer has warned me that the Darkness is rising again. I will of course cover the cost of the Portkeys, if that is needed, but Once anybody arrives, they can not leave until the Readings are done." His grin matched his Account Manager's, "If this falls the way I am planing, Padfoot will be cleared by the New Year. If not, We will find some other Fun." He Blinked, "Sir… My Dear Barchoke, Can you file to reclaim all monies taken 'Unlawfully' from my account? Plus Interest and penalties, of course. Dum-Dum and Prewitt never had the rights to touch my accounts. Do not touch the Weasley Family, as it was just Molly." He stood to lean on the desk. "Infact, Invite the Twins to the Reading. Lord Potter has a Business … opportunity to discuss with them."
The Goblin scribbled a note on his blotter, "Done. Now, step two, Marriage Contracts." the Goblin replaced his spectacles on his nose, "House has a Total of Eighteen, Five are with itself, so until your House has split for three generations, they are to be ignored. Four more are to 'Dead Houses' and until a squib line returns to claim the Title and Ring, they too are ignore. Six are for House Potter Witches, and so they are off set another generation. That leaves three open before you. House Greengrass is asking for a House Continuation clause rather than a full Marriage, as the Head only has two Daughters, and the Eldest is learning the Family business." The Goblin looked at the young Lord. "Now the Contract is for a Marriage, but the Consort-Continuation will settle the Contract terms for five generations." He set the Top page to the side, "Next you have Bones." The Goblin looked at the Lad, "Now they have not entered a plea for Line Continuation, but as the Heiress is the only one of her Line…" The sheet was added to the new pile. "And Finally, we have Lovegood, and this one was written by the Lady of the Line, five Generations back, and it is only Line Continuation."
"Which means exactly what?" Harry collapsed back into his chair.
"If you take all three contracts, as written here, you have two Consorts, and a wife. But Bones, will need the consort option to continue her Line, so you will need to Find a Lady Potter, and odds are, a Lady Black."
Lupin whistled, "Five girls." he shook his head, "Prongs and Padfoot would be so proud of you, with Lily glaring at them. Now I just pity you, Five Witches running roughshod over you and every mistake you make."
"Not all is Lost." the Goblin smiled evilly at the Lordling. "You can try to buy a 'Skip', from these Houses. But with the Last War, and if what you said is true, the Coming War, They will want protection from the Darker Houses in their Game of Bloodlines."
Harry sighed. "Send Notices to each of the Witches, and their Guardians. I will see them after the Reading. I will also want their input on a Possible Lady Potter and Black." he froze, "What about…"
"Your other Houses, both willed to you personally, and inherited down the line are too interwoven at this time. Houses Gryffindor, Prevel, Sanders, Smit, and O'Roark will be for your heirs to sort out. Slytherin is yours by Conquest, and only if you do nothing with it, will it be passed to your heirs. You can gift it to a halfblood or new blood, to repay a Life Debt, or Blood Debt." he returned the papers to the Folder, and turned to the next section. "Step three. Your Proxies. Dumbledor holds them for the Time being, as by Guardian Writ. I can over turn them, and replace him with a person of your choosing."
Harry blinked, before a grin returned to his face. "Do you by chance know a Goblin who is well versed in Wizard, Muggle, and Goblin Law. Someone who likes to argue and nitpick the very fabric of What is Accepted by Society?"
Barchoke choked. "I do." he then grinned, "And he is a Revil of mine, since we were whelps. Then only thing Gripsack enjoys more than spitting on me, both Professionally and personally, is spitting on Wizards." He tapped a rune carved and filled on his desk. [Get me Gripsack, Twist, and Pullette(pronounced; pull-it).] Before scribbling out a form, and pushing towards Harry, along with a black Raven quill. "A Blood-quill. A bit painful, but binding of Magic the Contract."
Harry read it quickly before taking up the Quill, and signing where indicated.
A scratching at the door preceded it opening as a grizzled Goblin entered followed by a Witch with a set of glasses perched on her nose, and a Wizard, though young, was balding. "You sent for us, you 'gold shaver'?"
"Yes, Gripsack." Barchoke turned the Proxy Contract towards the newcomer. "You have just been named Proxy to the Entire House Potter Voting Block. I will be advising Lord Potter to keep House Black out of your Claws, as that would upset more than just a few Wizards."
Harry cleared his throat, "My requests are simple." He grinned, "For the next year, Free Lord Black, repeal the Werewolf Laws, and make way for the Goblin Rights movement. Next year, I will be pushing to include Centaurs, and House Elf Protections." He locked eyes with the Goblin Barrister, "Can you do that? Or shall I find someone...Younger?"
The old Law-Goblin glared back, "Whelp! If you were not…" He scanned the Contract, before Grinning, "I will even do this for Free, if I may push my own Agenda."
"As Long as it does not go against the Interests of House Potter and her Allies." He grinned back, "All the other Houses… B.Y.O.B.! Black included."
The Bald wizard asked, "B.Y.O.B.?"
Moony just facepalmed, "Bring Your Own Barrel." the Werewolf sighed.
The Goblins roared at that, before Gripsack grabbed the blood quill and X'ed his spot. "Done Whelp." He then turned and waddled out, barking orders to his Humans.
"Step Four," a now subdued Barchoke turned to another section of his folder. "The Accounts themselves. You have The House Potter Prime Account and Vault, Harry Potter's Trust Vault, the 'Boy-Who-Lived' Vault, and the Artifacts and Relics Vault. Other House Vaults I am holding locked down until you turn Seventeen. They are like throwing a bucket of piss into the Ocean."
"Before you do that, How much is in House...Smit?" Harry asked
Barchoke flipped through his papers of a bit, "Just under Two Thousand Gold, some books, and Heirlooms." He looked at the Boy. "Why?"
"Pull the Heirlooms, move them to the Relics' Vault, and pass the Books and coin to one Hermione Granger. A New Blood that has helped me these last three years, for no other reason, than I called her a Friend." Harry, nodded, "The Gold Must Flow." Quoting a Line from a Movie, he had once heard from his Cupboard.
"The Gold must Flow." the Goblin repeated, as he made another note. "The Potter Trust Vault is no longer needed as you have taken the Head ring."
"Pull all but Thirty Sickles." Harry smiled, "When Albus or Molly try to raid it again, Take them."
"Thirty Sickles?" the Goblin asked.
"Judas was paid Thirty Silver to betray Christ." Lupin said sadly. "It is a mark of Betrayal in Muggle Society."
"Okay, you learn something everyday." the Goblin scratched a note on the page. "Now the rest?"
"You Know my investments better than I do, or even will." Harry smiled at the Goblin. "Take Twenty percent of my Gross balance. Invest it as You think I should. Take three percent of the Profits, but if you Lose me money, you will pay me three percent. Deal?"
"Three Percent?" the Goblin scowled at the Lordling, "Are you insulting me?"
"No Sir. the Three Percent does not include any Fees, Dues, and taxes, paid to you and the Bank for Business transacted within these Walls. It is meant as an incentive to increase my Profifts, three and ten fold." He looked the Goblin in the Eye, "For You to Profit, I must Profit. You could just sit on my Gold, taking your Due, which if I am guessing from the size of the Folder," he waved his hand at the leather binding between them, "A thrifty Goblin could live out his days, quite comfortability. And so could I, But I am Potter, Harold James! If I am going to do anything, I Am going to Profit by doing it, and as My Manager…"
"So shall I." the Goblin's mouth twisted in thought, "I will write up a few ideas, and get back to you next week." He Turned to the next section, "Step Five, Properties."
"Yes. Most of that will be next week too." Harry chuckled, "I am told among the many, I have an island this Side of the Triangle, and something in Greenland. I need them inspected, warded, and My School Emblem posted at the front Gate. I will need a triple Rush Job, and I am requesting one William Weasley to lead the Teams."
"Oh?" the Goblin looked at the Robe his 'Boss' was wearing. Before nodding, scribbling another note. "Done. That Leaves House Black."