AN:
Huge thanks to everyone who is following, reading and revving this story. This silly story recently has over 225 reviews, which makes it my most popular fic! Thanks guys, for all your love and support, it means a lot to me. Please keep those reviews coming. :)))
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Edward's POV
Changing into fresh clothes for school, the feeling of excitement overwhelms me. I'm sure that nothing could bring me down on this beautiful cloudy morning.
Zipping up my pants and pulling on my shoes, I think about how nice it is to have Bella in my life. I never thought I'd have a girlfriend but now I do and it's exceptional, more than I ever thought it would be. She stayed up late last night talking on the phone with me, our call only ended when her father reminded her it was bedtime. When we disconnected I felt weird and empty. I counted down the hours till I could talk to Bella again. As soon as the clock read six am I was on my phone, giving her a wakeup call since she told me that's the time she gets up. Though her father seemed very surprised to hear from me so early in the morning.
Her father is clearly not a morning person. He sounded very groggy and called me Ethan and then Edmond before he yelled for Bella.
Pulling my long sleeve shirt over my head I smile to myself that Bella said yes to me again. Yesterday she said yes to me about holding my hand and becoming my girlfriend, while today she said yes when I offered her a ride to school. Which I asked her after asking Emmett if he would be willing to pick her up. He agreed, I knew he would. Though I now owe him a wrestling match and a trampoline. Which is no problem, I like horsing around with my brothers.
Still riding this new high that only Bella can create, I slide my hoodie off of the hanger and put it on. I take a look at myself in the full length mirror that's on the inside of my closet door. I look presentable, though nothing close to the average high schooler - way more put together. Of course we - my siblings and I - all appear to be more put together than the rest of the children at school and that's courtesy of Alice. As an artistic expression she does all of our clothes shopping, she wouldn't have it any other way. Pleased with my outfit I run my hands through my hair a couple of times before exiting my walk-in closet.
Dressed and ready to go, I grab my phone that's on my desk and shove it in the pocket of my jeans. Before taking another step I snatch up my backpack that's on the floor next to my desk and slide my left arm through the strap. Walking to the other end of my room, I catch the thoughts of Alice who's out in the hall. For some reason she thinking about the sex scene in Titanic.
I open my door, preparing to head downstairs. But before I am able to do so, Alice jumps in front of me, blocking my way.
"You're not ready to leave." Alice says in an overbearing tone. In one swift move she pushes me back into my room.
"What's this about?" I ask, feeling annoyed. And just like that my good mood is fizzling out.
Alice stands in the threshold, blocking my exit while her mind is now on the latest socks that are all the rage in Paris. The expression on her face is neutral and her left hand is behind her back.
"Here, put this on." Alice rapidly moves her hand from behind her back. With no warning she thrusts a yellow neon speedo at me. 'Don't fight me on this. You'll need it.'
Her words make me feel lost. Needing a speedo makes no sense to me. I'm not on the swim team and I have never worn one of those revealing testicle smasher garments in all of my existence. Nor do I plan to.
"Why?" I stare at her suspiciously.
'For once just do as I say without second guessing me.' Her "voice" is very persistent.
Moving her hand that's clutching the speedo away from my chest, I raise an eyebrow. I'm not understanding the meaning behind her strange actions.
'Put this on.' She waves the yellow speedo in the air like a starting fag at a NASCAR race.
"In front of you?" The words escape my lips before I even have time to think them through. Of course I know that's not what she meant.
Alice's features turn to horror. "How very dare you!" Caught off guard by my spontaneous question, she chooses to speak out loud. "Of course not! It's bad enough that I have to see that part of you in my visions now. Seriously! Why would I ever suggest you dress in front of me?" She shakes her head.
From the main floor I catch Jasper's thoughts, which are oddly on our mother's mini cast iron kitchen items that she collects. She keeps them in the China cabinet that's in the dining room where he just happens to be at. I have no idea what that's about but I know he feels the tension between Alice and I. He is debating whether or not he should come to her aid.
Tuning out my brother's thought's, I focus on Alice. I'm slightly amused by her irritation, though I don't answer her as realization of what she said creeps into my brain.
As best as I can, I try to shrug off the self-conscious feelings that are caused by her statement. I don't even know how much of my new "activities" that I engaged in last night that she might have "seen". Or even if Jasper picked up on my feelings of lust after my siblings returned home. I'm sure he probably felt them but I wasn't paying attention to either of their minds or anyone else's, since my mind was on Bella while I was alone in my room with the door locked and the radio on. For someone who has lived a century and never masturbated, between late last night and the early hours of this morning, I seem to be making up for lost time. I can't help it. I feel so horny. It's a feeling I have never known before. Well, maybe when I was human, but I really can't remember.
"Just put this on." She insists, holding the speedo out to me. I don't take it which is no surprise to her.
"I'm not wearing that." I make no effort to keep my voice pleasant while I glare at the offensive garment she holds.
'It's for your own good. You're going to need it.'
In her mind are two possibilities of the future. I see them as they unfold. These are not new visions but her memories of visions she already had.
The first one is of me in English class, having to stand up and read a passage in a book. While reading about Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn I randomly become hard. It's quite noticeable and sticks out against the fabric of my pants. Suddenly my zipper snaps and breaks, causing me to run out of the classroom as several of my classmates embark with laughter.
Her mind shifts, going to the second outcome. It's the same vision as before, though one thing surely is different. In this version of events when I become hard for no apparent reason, it's not very noticeable. This time it doesn't stick out or break my zipper and no one laughs. I keep reading the book until I'm asked to sit down as the next child is called upon to read out loud.
'Now you see?' Alice asks. 'The speedo makes the difference.' Again she shoves the ridiculous excuse for men's swimwear at me.
"Maybe so. But I'm not wearing that." I declare, crossing my arms over my chest.
She looks confused. From her mind I see that this was not how she "saw" our conversation going. My guess is that she was looking into an alternative universe, that's the only explanation I can come up with, for her seeing me actually agreeing to put on that hideous costume that can't even be considered as men's swimwear.
I hear Jasper bounding up the stairs now. He's equally ready to check on Alice and I to see what's going on as well as to inform us that Em and Rose are ready to leave.
'You saw as well as I did what will happen if you don't wear the speedo to school.' She's now replaying the memory of my zipper popping open. Not something she really wants to think about, she's only doing so to try to get me to see things her way.
"Yeah." I agree, patting her head. "Now I'm prepared, thank you. Now can you please move so I can get out of my room?
'Oh! You are so stubborn.' Alice huffs.
I shrug.
Before another word is spoken between Alice and I, Jasper zooms down the hall. He's behind her in a flash while she's still blocking my path and I'm unable to get out of my room.
"Is everything alright?" Jasper wonders, putting his hand on her shoulder. Despite his question he already knows something is wrong. He can feel it.
"I just want to get out of my room." I announce, sounding very annoyed.
My words make my brother curious. With all the stress and anxiety in the air he lets off a very tranquil wave and a peaceful feeling fills my room at once. He's attempting to regulate the emotions he is feeling.
"What's going on?" Jasper questions in a very serene tone.
I don't answer. I feel too peaceful to talk since he is using his extra effect on me more than he is for Alice. For the simple reason that he's aware that I have a bit of a temper and don't always know how to control it.
Without a word Alice turns to Jasper. Looking into each other's eyes they begin to have one of their private conversations that only they can hear. Unfortunately, both of them are blocking the way out of my room. I look toward my balcony, how easy it would be to go out that way and jump down. The only thing that is stopping me from doing that is the fact that it rained during the night which left the ground muddy. Since I don't want to get my shoes or the bottoms of my pants caked with mud I chose not to jump down from my balcony. It's happened before, but looking good didn't matter to me then as much as it does now.
"Jasper, I need your backpack." Alice's words are more of a demand than a question.
'What's this? What did I miss?' I wonder to myself as I look at my siblings.
He shrugs his backpack - a military style, olive green one that appears to be almost empty - off of his shoulders. He doesn't bother to ask why she needs it; he's used to this. He hands it to her while metal clanks around inside the bag. Alice doesn't wonder what the sound is, like I do, she pays no mind to the noise. With his bookbag in her hands she runs to my closest. Her mind is on the speedo and nothing else so I have no idea what is going to happen next.
At the same moment I hear Em and Rose, who are both in the kitchen, wondering where the three of us are. Jasper puts his hand on the back of my neck. His touch feels like novocaine. In an instant every muscle, even my brain, feels numb since he's using his gift to keep me calm and freeze me in place. I don't like this feeling even though it is very peaceful, he's used it on me a handful of times in the past. I'm unable to move and even speak, therefore I can't ask him to quit doing this, which I so desperately wish to do.
Seconds pass, turning into minutes. Alice has long disappeared inside my walk-in closet while Jasper and I remain in place.
The sound of Emmett and Rosalie zooming up the stairs echoes throughout the house. That catches Esme's attention real quick; she reminds them that there's no running in the house since furniture usually gets broken from such activities.
Since Emmett didn't bother to slow down, he enters my room first.
'What's going on here?' Em wonders, looking at Jasper and I. Very quickly he decides not to ask out loud. "Hey, kid?" He says out loud to me. "Are we still going to pick up your girl?"
"Yes." I manage to say through my teeth. My voice sounds fatigued.
"Yeah, he still wants to." Jasper answers for me.
"Then why are we standing around here?" Em questions with a grin. From his mind it's clear that he's fascinated with my relationship status and is curious to officially meet the girl I like so much.
I take in a sharp breath. I really hope he won't scare her. At least Jasper will ride with us though, he can use his special gift if Bella should become frightened.
"Does anyone know where Alice went to?" Rosalie asks from down the hall. She sounds a bit annoyed. 'If we don't leave soon we'll be late.'
No one answers her. She enters my room just as a pair of black jeans soar through the air. My eyes are on the article of clothing as it hits the far wall with an audible thump. That grabs everyone's attention, even Esme's who's on the second floor in her study, while Alice makes a comment about some of my clothes being so last season.
As a handful of my pants flutter out of my closet and join the fate of the first. Snickers and laughter erupt from my brothers as Rosalie and I watch in silence as more trousers fly across my room. It's a very strange sight to witness as more and more of my jeans become airborne. While Alice moves about, completing her odd task, metal bangs and clinks together from inside Jasper's backpack that she still holds. Only he shares the knowledge of what that's about and he's not telling. Not even his thoughts give anything away.
More and more pants litter my floor and now shirts do too since she's on to cleaning out my entire closet, it seems. The clothes on the floor are now creating a massive pile in front of my window wall. If it weren't for Jasper's tranquilizer I would be very irritated with my spiky haired sister since I keep my bedroom neat.
"Oh! The horror!" Alice shrieks. "He can't wear this."
Suddenly a burgundy hoodie goes flying through the air, connecting with my bookshelf. The impact of the sweatshirt causes a roll of books to tumble down to the floor. That earns a loud round of laughter from my brothers and even Rosalie giggles. I roll my eyes as the novocaine feeling begins to wear off since Jasper has now lost his deep concentration. Rapidly I move from my brother and over to my closet, where I immediately get smacked in the face with a red button down shirt. Of course everyone falls into a fit of loud laughter at that.
"Alice, what's the meaning of this?" I growl out. "You're messing up my room."
With her left hand on a dark gray long sleeve shirt, her right hand clutching the yellow speedo with Jasper's now overly full backpack at her feet, she turns to me. Whether it's out of curiosity or just being nosy I can't say, but the rest of our siblings gather around. Emmett is still laughing, finding this whole situation comical, while I'm vaxxed, Alice is very determined, Rosalie is very amused, while Jasper is overly entertained. To better regulate what he is feeling, my talented brother sends out a very delighted feeling that immediately has everyone feeling blissful.
"You can't wear half of these clothes anymore. You must look presentable since you have a girlfriend now. You have to look good, especially for your upcoming date." Alice smiles. "I'll have to go shopping for you."
"Whoa! Damn! Kid's got a date." Emmett shouts, slapping Jasper on the back. I ignore his words.
"Ridiculous." I groan, glaring at Alice. She just changed out my wardrobe last month, before school began. I really don't need any more new clothes.
"Alice, his clothes are fine and you know it." Rosalie says sincerely. I see from her mind that she realizes just how upset I am and wants to help me. "You just need an excuse to shop. Just admit that and put his clothes back."
"Well, shopping is a delight. It's almost as thrilling as sex." Alice replies, waving the speedo around.
Emmett and Jasper laugh like the idiots they are. Their roaring laughter can easily be mistaken for a couple of crazy chimpanzees as Emmett falls to the floor taking Jasper along with him. Their behavior is purely infantile and I can't decide if they are laughing at what Alice said or the simple fact that she's waving the speedo in the air. No matter the reason, it's annoying all the same.
Suddenly I catch Esme's thoughts as she makes her way to the third floor. She's wondering what all the laughter is about. In a blink of an eye she appears in my room.
"Children, it's 6:45. Time to leave for school." My mother calls as she joins us. She likes us to be out the door at 6:50, which has us getting to school early since she doesn't like us to be late. "What in heaven's name is going on up here? This room is a mess." Immediately she takes in the scene before her as her thoughts are now incoherent.
All five of us become quiet, Emmett and Jasper immediately standing to their feet as Alice emerges from my closet with Jasper's overly stuffed backpack in one hand and the yellow speedo in the other. Each of us look at our perplexed mother who stands with her hands on her hips.
"Now, who is going to explain why this room resembles the aftermath of a tornado?" Esme's eyes land on Alice as she says this. In her mind it's obvious that she knows that my spiky haired sister is responsible for this mess, though she can't imagine why. "And what's in Jasper's backpack?"
"I decided to clean out his closet." Alice gives what can only be considered as a vague explanation. Having already "seen" our mother's next questions she quickly adds, "It was all a spare of the moment decision since he," She jerks her head towards me. "Refused to wear this for his own good." She hands Esme the offensive garment along with Jasper's backpack. She did so since she already knows that our mother will ask for those items. "I was only trying to help Edward out with a fashion disaster."
"Why would he need a swimming suit?" Esme questions while she unzips Jazz's bookbag. Taken aback by what's in the bag she begins pulling them out. "Pants? What is with all these pants?"
Emmett chuckles and Rosalie stares at Alice, waiting to hear the strange reason behind all of this. My eyes bore into Alice, trying to wordlessly command her to not dare utter the reason while Jasper snickers. Through his and Alice's silent conversation he is more than aware of what the speedo is meant for as well as why I might need an assortment of jeans.
Esme begins to pull pair after pair of pants from Jazz's backpack while everyone but Alice and I look on in amazement. As my mother empties my brother's book bag she oddly resembles a magician performing a magic act with a never ending handkerchief, only it's with different colored jeans instead. The amount of trousers that Alice was attempting to haul off to school is astonishing.
My brothers and even Rosalie find comedy in this crazy situation. I however, don't.
"Um, well..." Alice begins slowly, trying to choose her words carefully. "Since he outright refuses to wear the speedo he'll have to change his pants a few times throughout the school day. Because his zipper will keep breaking open."
Her statement has both Emmett and Jasper laughing even louder as Em guesses the reason behind all this weirdness. He's now spouting a wide rage of slag for 'hard-on', with one firm look our mother quickly puts a stop to his childish behavior.
"Well, that explains the pants and the speedo." Esme glances at Alice. "But why are two items from my miniature cast iron kitchen collection needed at school?"
With her words Jasper snickers as he looks at Emmett. He's wondering now if tea kettles and skillets really have the strange effect on our oldest brother as he claims.
In an instant she pulls a mini tea kettle and a cast iron skillet out from the bottom of the bookbag. Upon Emmett getting an eye full of those two items he grabs Rosalie's hand as he mutters something about peanut butter and jelly, wasting no time as they dash out of my room. He moves so fast that one would might assume he has a phobia of skillets and tea pots, though it's obviously not the case since I can here Em's thoughts, while Jasper is able to catch the lust and Alice is getting flashes of what Emmett and Rosalie are planning to do very quickly before we leave for school. Esme rubs her forehead with her free hand, she seems very frazzled.
"I didn't put those in there." Alice admits.
"I did." Jasper steps up, taking his backpack from Esme. "It's part of an experiment I was planning on conducting today that involved Emmett. Since the outcome worked out as he said it would...um...I'll no longer be needing these." Trying not to laugh he takes the mini cast iron objects from her hands. "I'll put these back."
"Please do." Esme's tone is firm. She turns to Alice who, just like me, already knows what she's going to say.
"I'll put everything back." Alice races around my room, picking up all my clothes that she carelessly tossed to the floor.
Esme is pleased about that and so am I. Though my pleased feeling doesn't last for too long because now I see the speech that my mother is going to give me regarding hormones. Really not a talk I want to have with my mother.
"Mom, can we skip the lecture if I just agree to wear that?" I ask, pointing at the speedo.
'You'd rather talk to your father about random erections?' She guesses, her tone is understanding.
"If I must, yes." I take the ugly garment from her and head to the bathroom.
"Okay." She says, sounding relieved. Suddenly something crashes to the floor from the kitchen. "Oh for heaven's sake! What's going on now?" She dashes down the stairs. 'Can't there just be one morning where everything goes smoothly?'
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