Chapter 38 Kiiroi chūrippu to Higanbana

(AN: I'm hoping that the title is correctly said in japanese, it is supposed to say Kiiori Churippu and Hignbana. They were originally two separate chapters but I didn't have enough content to justify separating them, so they are now combined into one.)

It was fitting to call the country 'The Land of Wheat'. Seemingly endless fields of wheat lined the roads and bordered the towns. The area was best known for its exporting of Beer, and local baked delicacies. Yadorigi Village had a strong warm scent of baking bread. It was a fairly sleepy village, with most people just passing through on their way to another destination. The main street had a slight hum of conversation but never louder. It was this quiet and still place that gave Karin a sense of peace.

So much has changed for Karin over the last year, it was almost overwhelming. The position at the Southern Hideout was boring and mostly uneventful. She had everything under control and days passed by slowly. When she heard the rumors of Orochimaru's death, she was quick to act and took precautions in order to maintain power and order. She kept her composure in front of her prisoners but in the back of her head, she couldn't help but hope that Sasuke would come and free her and whisk her away. That he would be her knight in shining armor. She also hoped to see Hibiki, and spend time with her, doing normal teenage girl activities.

Her heart soared when she sensed Sasuke getting closer and closer. She sensed Sasuke first, his chakra was strong even from such a long distance. He really was coming to get her. She was giddy with excitement. Then she sensed Hibiki, her calm, and knowing chakra was distinct and welcoming. They were both on their way to get her. It was an unbelievable day. It was better than she could have ever dreamed. Everything she wanted was suddenly coming true. As they got closer she regained her composure not wanting to seem as eager as she was. This was the beginning of something interesting. Then the slimy feeling filled her senses. A shiver ran down her spine. Only one word entered her mind.

Suigetsu.

It must have been the combination of Sasuke's and Hibiki's Chakra, as well as her own imagination going off the rails that hid his chakra for this long. Her dreams were crushed in an instant. Sasuke wasn't coming to whisk her off her feet. He was here for business. Not that that would stop her from trying to keep the dream alive.

While it wasn't what she imagined it would be, her time spent over the last year was the most exciting in her life. Maybe 'exciting' didn't cover the topic right, more like eventful. She was able to aid Sasuke in his journey to find his brother, she joined the Akatsuki and even joined a war. All throughout this, the most eventful year of her life, she grew both closer and farther from Sasuke. Now she was left, without any hope of winning him over or being by his side as much as she wanted to. Now, what felt like an eternity, here she was, in a strange land, heartbroken and feeling more alone than ever before.

A few weeks earlier Hibiki and Suigetsu continued on their quest to her dead mentor's home. She could have continued on, but it seemed both pointless, and exhausting. She didn't want to go on with the couple, their relationship still hard for her to stomach. It didn't take long to notice the calm feeling the town possessed and if she was going to stay anywhere, here was good enough.

Juugo stayed behind as well, and while they stayed in the same room, they rarely interacted. The boy seemed preoccupied and Karin didn't want to disturb him.

To help distract her from the swirling emotions that plagued her, she decided to get a job. While Hibiki had left her and Juugo enough money to live off of, she didn't want to depend solely on Hibiki's money. Without much trouble, she was able to get a job working at the Inn. It was mindless work that helped get her mind off of Sasuke. Or at least for a little while. At night she would lay in bed, and think of nothing but him. She dreamed of them being together. She wanted nothing more than for them to be together. But as Hibiki had told her, that path ended long ago.

Karin moved like the dead, her actions automatic, her emotions shut off. She could not distinguish one day from another. It was all a single flow.

"Dear?" the old woman's voice interrupted her cleaning one day.

"Yes Nakamura Obasan?" she replied.

"You've been working so hard these last three weeks, why don't you take the next few days off." she smiled.

It's been three weeks, she wondered.

"Thank you Obasan." she replied.

Karin placed the cleaning supplies she was using away and left the inn. She looked up to the sky and watched a lone cloud roll by. It had been three weeks? Karin sighed and began to walk. Where she was going she did not know, the old woman wouldn't let her back into the inn for a while so she needed to kill some time.

The town was having a sleepy day, only a few locals wandered the main street. Many stores were closed due to the lack of traffic and the proximity of noon creeping up. Her stomach growled a bit, and after checking her pocket to see how much she had, Karin began to search for a place to eat. Most places seemed fine, but not appetizing enough to warrant her going in for a look. She was about to give up her search as she was nearing the end of the street when she smelled something good. She looked around searching for the source and spotted a small shop near the end of the road that emitted the familiar and wonderful scent of Okonomiyaki.

It was somewhat hidden between two larger buildings, casting it in shade. Its small sign peaked from behind the front building. It was somewhat sad how the shop was so hidden from view and must be mostly patronized by locals. If Karin didn't love Okonomiyaki as much as she did, she would have missed it entirely.

She walked up to the shop and looked it over. It was definitely older than the other buildings that shadowed it. She felt nervous for some reason, and hesitantly she entered the shop.

"Welcome!" a males voice called from behind the counter.

The interior was simple, A cook stood behind a counter, with stools that lined it, a few tables sat sporadically in the room. It was clean, but it held an aged look.

Karin took a seat at the counter and took a menu. She knew what she wanted but was wondering what else the place offered. Nothing out of the ordinary or interesting. Karin looked up to the Boy behind the counter.

"What can I get you?" He asked when he noticed her.

"One order of Okonomiyaki." she replied.

The boy nodded and began to cook. The scent was heavenly and warm. It made her feel more alive than she had in weeks.

Soon the food was ready and given to her. She took a slow first bite and smiled at the hot and flavorful bite. As she ate she realized that the old woman's cooking was bland and tasteless. It was obvious the muted environment at the inn had not helped her as she fell into a depression. But this place was warm, it had sweet and savory scents swirling around the room, it was a haven.

As she finished she ordered another helping, suddenly feeling a lot hungrier than she thought. The boy nodded and made her next serving. He placed her food in front of her as well as a glass of water. Karin quickly dug in again.

After eating a third helping she finally took in the boy who was serving her. The boy was not by any means impressive. But his chakra, while weak, felt strong and reliable.

Karin paid for her food and left in a better mood than when she entered. And now she had a new routine

She would work all day and around noon, she would go eat lunch at the Boy's shop. She sometimes had Okonomiyaki but she went through the entire menu, each day trying something new. She was always welcomed by the boy's kind smile and easing chakra.

She soon learned the boy's name was Taichi and it didn't take much for the boy to get her to talk, and their conversations became a joy in her daily routine. She wasn't the Karin who suffered a hard past. She was Karin, the inn worker who had her wonderful food at her favorite shop every day.

While time seemed to pass by quickly, it wasn't in a blur. She remembered each day.

One afternoon Karin sat in her usual spot, eating happily.

"You really like our food huh Karin." He smiled proudly

"It's so much better than the old woman's cooking." She complained

"Ha ha ha, yeah she isn't the best cook in town," he said

"So anyway…"

Then the door opened. Karin was used to not being the only customer, but the energy in the room changed when a girl and a tall boy walked in. Taichi lit up in a way so familiar to Karin. She had never seen Taichi like this, but she remembers the feeling well.

"Momoko! It's been a while." Taichi smiled broadly.

"Yes, it has Taichi. Can we have the usual?" she asked as the two sat.

"Of course."

Taichi made their food, served them, and chattered with them.

"So are you coming to the wedding?" Momoko asked as she wiped her mouth.

"Oh, uh…."

"You really should come." The fiancee added.

"I don't think I can, I need to watch the shop." He frowned.

"Oh alright, but let me know if you change your mind." Momoko smiled.

"I will."

The couple finally left, and as the door closed behind them, taichi's smile faded.

"Is she marrying that guy?" Karin asked.

"Yeah." He replied. He took their empty plates and placed them in the sink before returning to Karin.

"It must be really hard, seeing her get married," she said as she handed her cup to Taichi. He filled it with water again and handed it back.

"It is."

"Does she know about your feelings?" She asked.

"Yes," he sighed.

The two were silent for a moment. Taichi took Karin's plate and added it to the sink. He returned and placed his forehead against the counter.

"I'm guessing you know exactly how I feel?"

"Yes, I've loved a boy for many years now, but it's not going to happen."

"I've loved Momoko since we were children. But she never felt the same way."

The two looked at eachother, and after a long silence, smiled and laughed.

…

Juugo sat on a bench in the park that was near the inn. He let the warm sun soak into his skin. It was quiet in this town, sure it had its busy days but as long as Juugo stayed in this park they would be safe. He did feel calm, but he could never be too careful. Juugo only saw Karin sparsely. She was in some sort of daze for so long. As if she just checked out and was no longer really here. Of course, her being upset wouldn't be the strangest thing, all her hope for being with Sasuke was gone now. She held herself together when Hibiki was with them, but now she let her emotions go. He was worried for the girl, but she needed to process these emotions herself. Then a few days ago, she seemed to come alive again.

Things are changing, he thought as he watched clouds pass overhead. Karin went from depressed and hopeless, to calm and happy. It was like a 180. While he didn't knows the cause of it, he was glad.

Juugo too was trying to work through some things himself. He had hurt so many innocent people over the course of his life, yet here he was free and able to hurt more. Sure the current medication he was taking was working, but medication often worked at first, only to fail him later. If only he still had Kimimaro. He could keep him in check and allow him to be free of the chains that bound him to Orochimaru. He was only ever loyal to the man because Kimimaro was loyal to him. Now he was bound to the man by his need for medication. His need to try and keep his mind.

What was going to happen from now on? Sasuke was no longer at his side, and while Suigetsu seemed to be able to hold him back, he too was far away from him. He was alone with his insanity, with no nets to catch him. He was alone with his thoughts. He was alone.

What was going to happen? What would he do from now on? He could return to his cage, and wither away until there was nothing left. He could stay as a pet for Orochimaru, to continue to test and mess with his body.

Juugo sighed and leaned forward. His mind was going in circles again. How many times has he argued with himself? How long would he remain indecisive about what will come and what has already happened.

"May I sit here?" a voice asked. Juugo jolted up to see an old man.

The old man took a seat and looked to the sky.

"When you get to my age, it's good to get some exercise. I walk around this park every day, but today it's going to rain. I can feel it in my joints." the old man said.

Juugo leaned back and watched the old man.

"I've seen you here for quite some time now. So you're not just passing through?" he continued.

"No, I'm going to leave," Juugo answered.

"Ah, that's a shame, this place is a nice town."

"It is." Juugo agreed.

"I've lived here for 80 years, moved here when i was 10 and stayed ever since. I was upset to be moving at first, but now I'm so glad that we did. I've made so many friends here, and I met the love of my life. I won't bore you with an old man's tales about his love life. But the two of us were inseparable, and had a few kids even."

Why was this old man speaking with him? Telling him useless things. Juugo sighed and pondered just getting up and leaving. It was beginning to get late anyway.

"But of course, nothing in life lasts forever you know. It was about a year ago that my wife died."

Juugo looked at the old man. And thought of the pain he felt when Kimimaro died.

"I can see that you've lost someone you truly love. It's quite hard to exist without them. It almost feels wrong to do so. The old man teared up. But I know my wife wouldn't want me in such pain, I know that if the roles were reversed, I'd want her to be happy and to live on. I wouldn't want her lingering on my death, but to remember the good times."

"He was my savior, he gave me freedom and now…" Juugo said.

The old man chopped Juugo's head, leaving him with a dull pain."

"You shouldn't idolize people like that. Sure he might have done great things for you, and you can always be grateful and respectful of that kindness. I am willing to bet you saved him too in some way." He scolded Juugo.

Juugo looked back to the sky. Was he idolizing Kimimaro? He searched his memories and found many with his smiling face and laughter, as well as the pain his illness brought him. He remembered standing next to him, side by side. And he remembered sitting at his bedside. Finally a flash of the vision Hibiki had shown him, it wasn't as clear as it used to be. It had slowly faded over time but the best memories seemed to stick with him. Amazingly the feelings from the vision stuck, held inside him, never once fading.

"Maybe you're right."

"You know, as wonderful and amazing as having help is, you're the only one who can determine your happiness. You are your own prison. It will be hard to break down the bars you built yourself. But once you do, you will be liberated." The old man said.

The old man then stood and walked away,

"I hope you find what you're looking for," he called back.

Juugo returned to the inn and layed down in his bed. He wasn't sure what to make of his oddly crowded afternoon. He thought over what the man had said and fell asleep to his advice running through his head.