Esme's POV
With my hands on the steering wheel, I try to listen to the music that's coming out of the speakers instead of my noisy passengers. But my brain knows better. It picks up on an argument going on in the back of the van. Unfortunately, my oldest boys are squabbling over bouncy balls. Of all things.
My other two passengers are a little calmer. Alice is in the middle seat, making a verbal shopping list while Rosalie is up front with me. She's intently writing in a notebook while humming the theme song to The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, that she and Emmett enjoy watching.
Putting on my turn signal, I silently thank my lucky stars for having one quiet child in this car. I don't know what Rose is writing, but it's sure keeping her busy.
The disagreement continues between Emmett and Jasper, getting louder by the second. Though I'm thankful I can't come down with a headache, their little fight is draining. Worst of all, there seems to be no end in sight.
"Emmett James and Jasper Lee," I say their first and middle names in a stern voice, bringing quiet to the car. "Can both of you please stop arguing over balls? It's driving me nuts."
Instantly, I regret my choice of words as all four of my teenage children erupt in a fit of laughter.
"Oh, that didn't sound right." Rosalie snorts.
"I didn't see this happening on our trip." Alice giggles.
"Everyone in this car knows what I meant." I say, making the turn to get us closer to our destination.
"Eww! Dude, you wanted my balls." Emmett guffaws.
Letting out a deep sigh, I glance in the rearview mirror. Emmett is holding up two green bouncy balls in the air and laughing his head off.
"So? You were after mine too." Jasper laughs, holding up a blue and a red ball.
"But you want deez nuts." Emmett childishly says those words in a derogatory way.
"Bro, let's say circular spears instead." Jasper sounds a bit uncomfortable.
"But they are my family jewels!" Emmett says a little too loudly.
"Circular spears!" Jasper laughs.
I let out an exasperated sigh as Emmett goes on, spouting nonsense with provocative names for that part of the male body. All of my children laugh at his display of immaturity, which adds fuel to the flame. I, however, could do without all of this childishness. Before he can get carried away, I rein him in, scolding him for his inappropriate talk.
"Sorry, mom. I'll be good." Emmett apologizes.
"Yeah, a real angel." Jasper snorts.
"I hope so." I say as I drive into the Walmart parking lot.
An eerie hush fills my car as I park my sky blue van next to a big black truck and cut the engine. With my kids all being as quiet as mice, which normally doesn't happen when this many are together, I begin to feel an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something is definitely wrong. But what could it be?
Alice shrieks, making me jump.
"Is something wrong?" I turn around in my seat to look at her.
For a quick minute, I catch the guilty faces of Emmett and Jasper. I can't imagine why they look blameworthy. I look back to Alice, wanting an answer as to why she screamed like that.
"We're going to shop at this Walmart?" Rosalie spits the words.
I turn to my oldest daughter. The expression on her face is of horror and I can't understand why. She and I have done Walmart shopping before, it's nothing out of the ordinary.
"Yes." I reply, not understanding her question. "This is where I planned on making a quick stop."
"No. No, no!" Alice whines. "We can't do our marathon shopping trip here. This will not do."
"Marathon shopping trip?" Expressionless, I turn around and look at my youngest daughter. Her words make no sense to me.
"We're definitely going on a marathon shopping trip, I've seen it. But not here." She happily says.
Both Emmett and Jasper groan. It's a defeated sound as they mumble something about waiting to go to a video game store, which I made no plans on doing. Rosalie doesn't say anything, and I find myself rubbing my forehead.
I have no idea why Alice assumed I was going on a marathon shopping spree. I have never once made that decision today, but now I have a better understanding about why she jumped in the van when they came home from school. She must have had a less than accurate vision about my shopping plans. Which happens sometimes when she's stressed out or overthinking something.
A deep sigh escapes my lips. I stop rubbing my forehead and make eye contact with Alice.
"I'm only buying one item," I hold up my index finger. "The only thing I plan on buying is boys' underwear for Edward." I explain, hoping she understands. "Walmart is the perfect place to shop for that one item. So, who is going shopping with me?"
"Guess it's bye, bye speedo for Eddie boy. Hello Banana hammock thong." Emmett says in a goofy voice, making Jasper laugh loudly.
I ignore them.
"But I don't do Walmart shopping." Alice's bottom lip sticks out in a pouty way.
"Esme," Rosalie begins in a worried tone. "We really can't go to this store."
"Yeah, definitely not here." Jasper chimes in.
"Nope." Emmett says, sounding the most carefree.
Alice shakes her head, looking horrified.
"Why not?" I don't understand what the problem is.
"Some of us have had a run in with Walmart security. After losing a bet and having to walk around the store in a woman's bathroom, a pink Princess crown, and a large cucumber in their pants. And are no longer allowed in any Walmart in the State of Washington because of it." Emmett says, in a light and playful tone that makes him sound like he's bragging. Though his words are serious.
I let out a deep breath.
Rosaile says something, followed by a remark from Alice that has the boys laughing. Emmett adds something else but I'm not listening. What he had said about getting reprimanded by security can't be true. It just can't.
I let out another sigh.
Jasper laughs while Emmett reveals that both of them can't go into a few stores out of town. That makes me curious and I want answers. This time I ask.
"Well, Em and I may have pulled a few childish pranks and are not welcome in a few pawn shops in Port Angeles." Jasper explains, sounding ashamed.
"Fun times." Emmett says, happily nudging Jasper.
"Don't forget about the Targets too." Alice points out.
"Ugh. Don't remind me. You had to criticize the store manager's shoes, how embarrassing." Rosalie's tone is repulsive.
"They were hideous!" Alice shudders.
Rosalie turns to me, a serious expression on her face. "Let's just say we're just not allowed in some clothing stores."
"Or that Pet Smart in Hoh." Jasper points out.
Emmett laughs. "Who knew crickets would jump out of the box like that?"
"Not me." Jasper's tone is low.
"Let's not go down memory lane," Alice shrieks. "It looked like the plague after you guys dared each other to open up all those cages. One even crawled in my shoe!"
"At least those critters didn't crawl up your leg and go in your pants. I never heard Edward scream like a girl before." Emmett laughs some more.
"That part was totally unexpected." Jasper says with a muffled chuckle.
"Yuck. Those things were horrible and so ugly." Rosalie shivers.
I'm back to rubbing my forehead while loud talking goes on around me. All four of my children are now chatting about places they can't go into and I'm pretty sure that my left eye is twitching from stress. Is it safe to say I don't know what's happening?
"Oh! Emmett and I are also not allowed in Forever 21 in Seattle." Rosalie volunteers this information.
"Why?" The word slips out of my mouth.
"The sales lady caught Rosie giving up the gold to me in the dressing room." Emmett replies nonchalantly. "I also may have knocked down a roll of dressing room stalls in the process."
"Please don't make me relive it! That vision was terrible." Alice complains. "I have to see so much with you two nymphomaniacs."
"Bro," Jasper says to Emmett. "We don't always need to know these things about you. It's bad enough I have to feel what you feel."
"But I have nothing to hide." Emmett says a bit too loudly. "Esme, want to hear about the time Rosalie and I were escorted out of the video rental store and told never to return?"
"Emmett! She doesn't need to know about that." Rosalie's words are a warning.
Jasper chuckles and Alice is completely silent.
Quickly, I decide not to ask any further questions about this topic. I may not know what the term "giving up the gold" means, but I get the gist of it. As well as why my two oldest children were banned from a video rental store.
"That was a very fun time." Emmett says to Rosalie. With a nod of her head, she agrees.
Something clicks inside my mind as more talking, which more or less could be considered bragging, goes on around me. My children's words that once made no sense to me, now do.
"Do you mean to tell me," I begin in a stern voice. "That all four of you have been banned from multiple clothing stores?" I look at Alice, Rosalie and Emmett. "A Video rental store?" My glance goes from Emmett to Rosalie. "Multiple pawn shops?" I glare at my two oldest sons. "Not to mention Target, Walmart and a pet store because no one can follow simple rules?"
With my last words, I look at every one of my children. I do not hide my disappointment with them. I have raised them better than this.
"Yes, ma'am." Emmett answers for everyone.
"Not just us," Alice squeaks.
"Edward too." Jasper clarifies.
"What?" I ask.
"The golden child isn't so innocent." Rosalie gloats. "He and Emmett got a bit too competitive playing Skee-Ball in an arcade. He ended up breaking one of the machines and now we're all banned from there."
"Yeah!" Emmett shouts. "Next time you go to Oil City, check out Fun Town, it's the arcade that's next to a stinky chicken restaurant. His mugshot is up on the wall, right by where the ancient security guard sits on his high stool." He sounds very amused. "It's up there with the rest of our good-looking faces, not to mention a baby's mugshot and some other peoples."
"Why?" It's a rhetorical question, one I hope no one answers.
"Good question." Emmett sounds so excited to be having this conversation. "I'm not sure why the baby got blacklisted. I didn't have time to ask since we had to leave right away."
That's not even what I was talking about. I feel so confused and irritated.
"Oh, good heavens." I mumble under my breath.
"She was asking about us, bro. Not the baby's picture." Jasper clarifies for Emmett's benefit.
"Oh. Well, we're impulsive teenagers," Emmett begins to explain, rather cheerfully. "Our brains don't grow so we easily do fun things that adults don't like. It's all in good fun."
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. This has got to be some type of joke.
With my eyes shut, I grab hold of the steering wheel for support, and rest my head on it. No one said parenting five teenagers that are nearly the same age would be easy. In the vampire world there's a saying that the first 150 years of childhood are the hardest. But this is just plain ridiculous.
"Why must all of my children be banned from different stores?" I say under my breath.
"Banned is a strong word," Emmett says in a happy tone. "I prefer the term 'former shopper. ' But that's just me."
"And why is that?" I pick my head up off the steering wheel and look at him through the rearview mirror. "Why are all of my children former shoppers at so many places?" I wonder, having a big feeling I won't like the answer.
"There's various reasons for that question. It mainly depends on who was banned." Jasper says. His words are solemn, and I feel the faintest hint of his anxiety rolling off of him. "Though, I think I speak for everyone when I say getting banned was never our intention."
All of my children agree with what he said. They also conveniently blame it on them being forever teenagers.
All this information is troubling and a bit stressful.
Talking goes on around me, mainly it's Alice and Emmett who are providing the background noise. I don't pay attention to what is being said. I sit here in the driver's seat, my eyes glued out the window, watching shoppers come and go. Some have children while others don't.
Suddenly I catch the sight of one mother walking in front of my van, heading toward the store's entrance. She has the same number of children I do. However, she has a set of twin preteen boys and three toddler girls, triplets. All of which appear to be so well behaved, holding each other's hand and listening to her every word as she speaks to them. Where my children seem like wild heathens, compared to them. At least they do, right now.
Feeling a little envious and a tad bit overwhelmed, I close my eyes, reminding myself that this is my circus, and these are my monkeys. I must get in control of them. But how is the question?
Not wanting to be envious toward anyone, I take a calming breath. I remind myself that no one is perfect, anyone else's children or mine.
I take another calming breath.
When I had made the decision to buy boys boxer briefs for Edward, so he won't need to wear the Speedo anymore. I had pictured going on a peaceful shopping trip by myself. But I wasn't quick enough to leave before school was out and helping Emmett with his math homework took longer than expected. Which gave Alice time to organize the rest of her siblings to go on a shopping trip. Since they all wanted to go with me, I couldn't say no. I love spending quality time with my kids. Usually, it's peaceful and enjoyable. However, right now it's anything but peaceful as I'm unsure what clothing store my children are able to set foot in.
Closing my eyes, I inhale and exhale again, trying to collect my bearings.
While Alice patters on about clothes she wishes to buy, Rosalie says something sarcastic that makes Jasper speak up in Alice's defense. Emmett laughs his booming laugh and says something clever that makes them all titter. I begin to feel a little better.
They are my kids and all of them just want to be normal teens and enjoy life.
Laughter goes on around me. I'm grateful to hear that joyful sound. However, I still feel slightly stressed out. What clothing store should I go to that all of them can shop at? Is there such a place?
Immediately a wave of peacefulness takes over my van. Everyone is no longer rambunctious but calm. There's no denying it's Jasper's handy work. Opening my eyes, I turn around in my seat and look at my middle son.
"Just trying to help." He says with a sheepish smile.
"Thank you." I smile at him.
"Oh, Esme!" Alice's tone is exhilarated. Bouncing in her seat, she waves her hands in the air to get my attention.
"Yes, Alice?" I ask.
"We can go to the mall!" Alice suggests in an overly happy tone.
"You mean to tell me it's safe for all of you to go to the mall?" I ask, a bit stunned.
"Yes." A chorus of yeses ring through the air.
I breathe a sigh of relief. I was beginning to think I couldn't take them anywhere.
"To the mall we shall go." I feel so thrilled to say this. I really was beginning to think there wasn't a store they could go to.
I put my keys in the ignition and rev the engine.
"Oh, Esme! Macy's is having a sale on boys' clothes, including skinny jeans, superhero shirts, pajamas and matching socks and underwear. We need to buy them." Alice randomly announces in a dreamy tone.
"Who needs pajamas?" I ask, not understating that part since no one in our family sleeps.
"Edward does!" Alice answers three octaves louder than necessary.
"But, Alice, we don't sleep. He has no use for sleepwear." Rosalie says, taking the words right out of my mouth.
"Ture." Alice agrees. "We don't sleep. But I "saw" him wearing superhero pajama pants with a matching shirt. Oh! We can get Batman ones! He also needs superhero shirts to wear to school with his new skinny jeans. Esme, we need to update his wardrobe."
Emmett laughs and Jasper snickers.
"Superhero clothes for Edward?" I wonder, as I pull out of the parking pace.
As a mother I know my children's interests. Edward does like superheroes and often watches Batman Beyond alone in his room. But I'm not sure if he would wear the kind of clothes Alice is talking about. I just can't picture any of my boys wearing skinny jeans either. As I can't picture why he would need pajamas.
"Yes! He needs to dress like an average teenage boy. Bella will love it and he'll do anything to please her." Alice answers with a delighted squeak.
"Aww! He needs Spiderman undies for his "playdate" with baby sis." Emmett's words have a double meaning behind them, which I catch right away. He's only teasing and that makes Jasper laugh as both of them say something that doesn't sit well with me.
"Emmett and Jasper, that's enough." I warn them as I drive out of the Walmart parking lot, and to Alice I say, "I don't think Edward will want superhero clothes or skinny jeans."
Emmett and Jasper giggle.
"Yes, he will." Alice sounds so sure of herself.
"Face it, Alice," Rosalie says, flipping her hair as she turns around. "You just need an excuse to shop."
"No." Alice protests, her tone slightly whiny. "It's what I see."
As quick as all the noise and chaos began, it finally ends. A hush of serenity wraps around us.
I don't want to break this wonderful silence. Knowing this is my middle son's doing, I glance in the rearview mirror, and at once Jasper catches me looking at him. We share a smile before I turn my eyes back on the road.
All of my children are quietly entertaining themselves while I drive down the highway, going to the mall. I didn't plan on making a trip to the mall when I left the house, but that's where I'm going. All the while, I hope that my children will behave themselves.
Entering a busy intersection, where cars are stopped for a yellow light, a familiar song, Telephone Line, rings through the quiet atmosphere loud and clear. It's not a song on the radio, but my phone's ringtone for when my husband calls me.
Pressing my foot on the brake and coming to a complete stop, a few things happen simultaneously. Rosalie makes a comment about how corny my ringtone is, Emmett makes an off-color comment about why I picked that ringtone, Alice expresses how adobe it is, and Jasper laughs, while I grab my phone from the cupholder.
"Hello, Carlisle?" I answer my phone, in a hopeful tone. It's always good to hear his voice.
"Hi, love," Is Carlisle's response. For some reason he's speaking in his professional voice.
From the backseat Alice gasps and Jasper speaks slowly to her. Emmett and Rosalie ask what she's seen. Her loud response is 'oh my', 'that's not what tree houses are meant for', and 'no, Edward. What do you think you're doing with legs, thighs and gravy? That's so gross.' She also mumbles something about grape soda and honey, I can't help but wonder if her vision and my phone call are connected somehow.
More talking from my children goes on. I pay no mind to it, soon enough I'll find out what it's all about.
"Is everything alright, dear?" I wondered, speaking into the receiver. I glance back at Alice, who's sharing an intent look with Jasper.
"Yes, love. I'm calling to let you know I'll be picking Edward up from Bella's house later on." He explains, still speaking in his professional voice. I doubt he's even aware he's doing that.
"You are?" I'm surprised with that information. I didn't realize Edward was going to spend time at her house. But that's wonderful, they're getting to know each other better.
"Yes. He called me a little while ago to say he's having dinner over there." Carlisle replies.
"Aww. He's having dinner with her." I can't help but smile at that. My heart is melting at this.
"Yes." Carlisle chuckles. "He really likes her and wants to stay as long as he can. Anyway, I'll be picking him up after my shift ends."
Suddenly Alice gasps. The sound is the equivalent to someone being punched in the stomach, which is a sign that she just had another vision.
As my three oldest children ask Alice what her vision was about, I hear one of my husband's co-workers speaking in the background. I wait quietly while he talks to his co-worker. At the same time, he is done with that, Alice shrieks and Jasper begins laughing uncontrollably.
I immediately look back at them.
"Esme," Jasper calls out. "Edward needs a bed." He announces between laughter.
"I really wish to unsee that." Alice says and a terrified tone that's a bit dramatic.
"Wow. The time has finally come for him to be a man." Rosalie speaks sarcastically.
"No way!" Emmett cheers. "Kid's going to be balls deep in baby sis's pink taco. Way to go Eddie!"
Emmett and Jasper begin loudly whooping, hollering, and high fiving each other. Like Alice's vision - which terrifies me - is something to celebrate. I don't feel that way one bit. My poor motherly heart is aching, everything is happening too fast for my baby boy.
"Good heavens." I speak into the phone. "These children will be the death of me."
"They sound very loud and happy. What's going on?" Carlisle wants to know.
I quickly explain that we are in the van, stopped at a red light, and are on our way to the mall. He seems amused about my decision to go to the mall with four teenagers, little does he know I never planned on doing this. It just sort of happened. Suddenly his name is called on the loudspeaker and he tells me he has to go. I know he's busy at the hospital but there's one thing he must do. It seems as though it needs to be addressed tonight, he can't be put off any longer.
"Carlisle, when you pick up Edward you need to have a father/son talk with him about the birds and the bees." I speak very quickly. My van becomes very loud with the sound of my children's excitement, I tune it out. "Alice sees him in need of a bed. You know what that means."
Emmett and Jasper provide more rowdy teenage boy chattering, complete with phrases I do not wish to repeat. The light finally turns green and the cars in front of me begin to pull forward.
"A bed?" Carlisle breathes the words.
"Yes." I answer in a rush of panic.
"Well, this is unexpected." Carlisle replies slowly, sounding as shocked as I feel.
"It is. It's too fast." I agree and he does too. Swallowing my shock, I add. "You must talk to him about being safe. We don't want him getting her pregnant."
With that he reassures me he will definitely have a talk with our youngest child as he's paged on the loudspeaker once more. Both of us say a quick 'love you and bye.' Quickly I disconnect and place my phone back in the cup holder.
Pressing my foot on the gas, my mind is on Edward and the little girl he loves. I hope he keeps his gentlemanly ways and doesn't rush into anything that both of them aren't ready for.
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Thanks for reading. ;))
Who wants Edward to wear superhero clothes? Hahaha! If so, leave a review. :)))