Esme's POV
The timer on the dryer buzzes.
In a flash I am out of the kitchen and in the basement. Immediately I open the dryer and begin removing the freshly dried clothes that belong to my three boys.
With a deep sigh of exhaustion, I look at the clothes that are now in the laundry basket. The clothes must be folded and put away but I'm tired - not physically of course, but mentally - and wish for the laundry to take care of itself.
It's been a really long day since my boys came home from hunting two hours ago.
Since then, I have washed, dried, and folded a mountain of my children's and husband's clothes, and delivered clean clothes to everyone's room. Stopped a strip poker game from happening in my kitchen, scolded my oldest son for not wearing any pants, only boxers while outside on a skateboard. I'm still shaking my head at that one.
After the weekly laundry was taken care of, I tried to have a moment to myself to paint in my study, only to be informed by Edward that I was needed outside, five minutes after I sat down. It turned out that Emmett and Jasper had been in the middle of a wrestling match on the front lawn and ended up really going at it. Unable to get them to stop by raising my voice, I was forced to spray them with a garden hose to break up their fight. It's an odd technique but at least it worked.
Once again, I had tried to return to my study to do something I enjoy. Only to be interrupted by the sound of joyous screams from my boys along with the unmistakable sound of gushing water in the backyard. I then had to turn off the water from the main line after a backyard roller hockey game on stilts with giant homemade hockey sticks, ended up taking a very wrong turn. Evidently my boys became a little too competitive and ended up rupturing an outdoor faucet when one of them was pushed and fell down onto it.
The broken pipe created a very powerful, unwanted irrigation sprinkler. The flooding of water ended up making a large pound before I was able to shut it off. Which of course, led my boys to digging a very deep moat while I repaired the damaged pipe.
And when you have a very large moat and three indestructible teenage boys with endless energy, who just want to have fun. A moat is the perfect opportunity to try out a Kayak, surfboard, and a six-foot-long inflatable shark. It's also the perfect chance for them to swim when the pool toys become busted. Which of course is what they did. They also needed to build a fourteen-foot diving board for this occasion. Their makeshift diving board that they made of plywood and PVC pipes, lasted a good fifteen minutes before they got carried away and it shattered. Then it was on to the next activity while I refilled the moat with dirt.
"Boys," I mumble under my breath, folding Jasper's pants.
After the moat was taken care of and the smashed pool toys were thrown away, along with their diving board. I did more laundry before I had to excavate on the roof of the garage. My excavation was an attempt to recuse Emmett's shoes. Which were covered in cement and mounted to the roof of the garage for… well, I don't really know the reason for that. I also choose not to ask.
Raising boys is often like that. Sometimes strange things happen and there's no logical explanation for it. Why? Because they are boys.
Which is exactly why I had to scrub a combination of melted cheese and slime off of the banisters, mopped up Silly String off of the downstairs bathroom floor. Broke up a sword fight between all three of my sons. Who apparently thought a yard stick wrapped in a sheet of metal, the handle of a mop with nails sticking out of it, and Ninja Turtle nunchucks were great items to use for their fight. When video games became too boring and repetitive for them and they wanted more action, at least that's what they told me.
More concerned for the furniture and the house than anything else. I confiscated their weapons and tried to get them involved in a quiet activity, one where I wouldn't be frightened that my house would literally fall apart.
Then I went to outer space with talking cartoon babies when I had them settle down in the living room. After a small spell of peacefulness, it was back to their rambunctiousness. I was then shot at with Nerf guns, chased by a Toy Story RC car, and scolded them for having an egg fight in the dining room. Had them clean up their mess then sent them upstairs to shower and change.
Did more laundry, which I'm currently in the process of putting in the dryer. Doing so, I hope this will be the last time I do laundry today, but that's probably a wish that won't be granted. After all, it's Friday afternoon. The day my children get out of school at noon and my boys tend to unintentionally cause mayhem. Especially when the girls and their father are out of the house.
Though cleaning up after my rambunctious boys is not an ideal way to spend an afternoon, I tried not to nag at them too much. They are just kids. Besides, Edward seemed a bit on edge when he came home. I'm sure Emmett and Jasper were trying to distract him from being nervous for his first date with Bella later tonight, by creating their fun activities.
With the last load of laundry in the dryer, and the dry clothes folded and placed in the laundry basket, I pick it up, preparing to leave the laundry room. But before I am even able to turn around, I hear the sound of the basement door opening, catching the scent of my three boys.
At once I hear the pitter patter of their footsteps that aren't very light or happy. But more like a herd of frantic elephants running for safety from a stampede of welder beasts as they enter the basement. Oh, I can't imagine what's going on now. Though I'm sure my left eye is twitching, with the anticipation of my children's needs. It's been a long day that just keeps on giving, that's for sure.
"Mom," Emmett, Jasper, and Edward chorus.
The tone of their voices holds different levels of distress. Edward's is whiny and dire urgency, Jasper's is persuasive, where Emmett's is heavy. All of them seem to require my assistance right this very minute. Unfortunately, the reason for them entering the basement to find me isn't a simple social visit, that's evident in their tones. All three of them call my name again, a bit whinier this time.
Immediately I brace myself for the worst-case scenario and put on a brave face as I place the laundry basket on the dryer. With a sigh I turn around to see Emmett with a fake red handlebar mustache, a colorful Sombrero upon his head, and my old pink clip-on earrings on his ears. To say his appearance is startling is an understatement. I'm guessing he was in the attic looking for something and got sidetracked with costume props.
My eyes drift to my oldest son who is oddly dressed to my youngest, who is shirtless and looking as happy as a cat who just had a bath. Not knowing the reason why that is, I glance at my middle son who appears to be dressed normally. But the expression on his face shows how annoyed he is.
I open my mouth to speak but before I do, everyone talks at once.
They're talking goes on with then telling me about each one of their crises at the same time. As well as them telling me who needs me the most. Their words blur together, while all three of them compete for my attention in true teenage fashion with each of them becoming as loud as can be.
Seconds go on and I no longer understand what anyone is saying. It's just a bunch of noise.
With the filling of my head on the verge of exploding, I began rubbing my forehead. It doesn't matter that vampires can't get headaches, this is unpleasant and just too much. Before they can get any louder than they already are, I put a stop to this madness by putting my left hand up like a crossing guard. At the same time I bring my right hand up, put two fingers in my mouth, and whistle with a hard blow.
The sound is loud and gets their attention right away. Knowing that I mean business they quiet down and I stop by whistling.
"Okay." I say in a stern tone, not taking my eyes off my three boys. "Everyone needs something. I understand that and I want to help each one of you. But I can't help or understand you guys when everyone is talking at once." I pause, making sure that part skins in. "Now, one at a time please. Starting from oldest to youngest. Understood?"
I chose to do it that way, since Emmett's problems are usually the easiest. Where Edward's are a bit more time consuming, and Jasper's are right in the middle.
"Yes." All of them agree.
"Good, go ahead, what's your dilemma?" I gesture to Emmett, waiting for him to tell me what's the matter.
"Where are your purses you aren't using?" Emmett asks in one breath. "I have been looking for them in the attic but haven't found any. Just all this cool stuff." He points to the items he's wearing.
My earlier guess was right, he did get distracted in the attic when he was looking for a specific item. Though for the love of Pete, I can't imagine why he would need one of my old handbags.
Not knowing what to say, I stay quiet. So does Edward and Jasper, they keep eyeing their brother.
"I really need a shoulder bag with lots of pockets." Emmett speaks rapidly when I don't respond.
A small part of me wants to ask what he's going to do with a purse, but I quickly decide not to. I'm sure the reason will soon haunt me anyway.
"Em, why do you need a purse anyways?" Edward asks nonchalantly.
"Don't tell me, bro," Jasper says in a teasing tone. "More research for Rose's TMNT stories?"
"Nope." Emmett grins. "I am either going to invent something useful for humans. Or, I want to see if it matches with my cool new mustache." He answers proudly, stroking his fake mustache with his thumb and index finger.
With his vague answer that makes no sense to me, I begin to rub my temples. While my younger sons begin to giggle. I'm sure both of them know more about this matter than I do and certainly more than they are letting on.
"I have a box of purses in the attic," I begin, still rubbing my forehead. I'm sure I'm going to regret this in the long run.
"Where in the attic?" Emmett continues stroking his ridiculous mustache. He looks like a cartoon villain plotting his next scheme.
"It's easy to find," I say patiently, silently praying that he's not going to do something irresponsible. Such as filling a handbag with fireworks and setting it on fire. "I have labeled the box as I have labeled everything that's up there. Either you can read each side of the boxes or use your senses and search by smell."
Emmett shakes his head. "It's not there. I looked. I found a box that has the words pirate gear, on it. That's where I found this fabulous mustache," Once again he strokes the mustache. "But no box of purses."
"It's up there." I sigh.
"I don't think so," Emmett says sadly. "I think it vanished into thin air."
"Fascinating." Jasper says dryly, looking at Emmett in a very irritated way. "Items don't disappear."
"Mom's purses seemed to." Emmett disagrees.
Before they can start arguing I ask Jasper what he needs my help with. I'm eager to get this over with, then go back to my task of getting the laundry done before I must drop Edward off at the miniature golf place.
Edward sighs but is quiet. My eyes meet him, and I can see how young and unsure he looks.
There's no doubt in my mind that his troubles are about his official date. Something that is new to him and maybe a bit scary. I can't take my eyes off of him as I realize he is growing up in ways I never thought possible.
"Esme," Jasper calls my name. Immediately I turn to him. "I can't find my book about the Vietnam War anywhere. I was reading it last night and now I can't find it. It was in the hall, I think. Have you seen it?"
"It's in the library. I put it on the shelf with the rest of the books in that category." I respond, happy that his problem is easily solved.
"I looked several times," He insists. "It's not there, I can't find it."
"Your book," Emmett says to Jasper in a mystic tone, waving his hand in the air. "Is probably in the same unknown bisque as the purses I badly need."
"What?" Jasper and I say at the same time.
"Everything missing is in the great bisque." Emmett explains matter-of-factly.
Jasper stares at him deadpan, Edward smirks, shaking his head while Emmett adds more about missing items being in a bisque. I'm silent as I wonder where Emmett is going with this.
"Em, what you think you are talking about and what you actually are talking about, are two totally different things." Edward clarifies, trying not to laugh while Emmett disagrees. "I see from your mind that you're thinking about the word 'abyss.' While you keep saying 'bisque,' which is a type of soup."
"Oh." I say, understating the confusion.
"Your point is?" Emmett shrugs and Jasper laughs.
"You're confusing similar sounding words." Edward explains.
"So?" Emmett asks. "You knew what I was thinking about."
"Only because I can read minds. Everyone else was confused." Edward explains.
"As fascinating as this mix-up is," Jasper says sarcastically. "My book is not in a soup. I need to find it and Alice isn't answering her phone, so she isn't able to tell me where it is."
"It's in the library." I say again.
Jasper doesn't respond but I can tell he won't be able to find it on his own. Just as Emmett won't be able to find what he's looking for if I don't help him. Which leaves my youngest son's problem still unknown. I wonder to myself what he needs my help with.
"Finding my normal clothes. I don't know what Alice did with them." Edward answers my unspoken question. "I need a shirt without a picture of a character or a catchy phrase on it. And pants that are not skinny jeans."
"I still need to find my book." Jasper reminds me.
"I really need a handbag, purse, shoulder bag, or pocketbook right now." Emmett says all of the different ways to say what he is looking for.
Once again, I'm back to rubbing my forehead.
Obviously, no one will let me forget they need my help. Of course, they need me to find what they can't. This always happens. Not just with them but Rosalie and even Carlisle, often can't find things and come to me. Everyone but Alice believes I am the keeper of their personal belongings and therefore always know where lost or misplaced items are.
"I will help everyone find what is missing," I say before they are able to get loud and whiny again. "Just give me one minute to myself while each of you put your clothes away," I point to the clean clothes in the laundry basket. "Then I will attend to each one of you."
"That sounds great." Edward is the first to take his clothes.
"Okie-dokie, sounds like a plan, ma'am." Emmett says in a sing-song voice as he grabs his clothes.
"Thank you." Jasper steps forward, taking his clothes.
"You're welcome."
With that, all of them dash up the steps and out of the basement leaving me alone with the washer that just stopped.
Enjoying the peace and quiet that won't last long, I take a deep calming breath.
I just might be the first vampire in the world who needs a nap, I feel very exhausted. No one told me being a mom to five forever teens would be such a demanding job. Though I wouldn't trade this life of mine for anything.
At once I open the washer and begin to remove the wet clothes. I open the dryer while my mind is on my three boys and what they need my help finding. Plopping the laundry in the dryer, shutting it, and turning it on, this exhausted vampire mama begins to form a plan.
Just as I said, I will help each of them find what they need beginning with the easiest thing first. Which will be Jasper's book, then helping Emmett find one of my old purses, for whatever reason he may need it. Last will be Edward's missing wardrobe problem.
Hopefully Rosalie and Alice will be back by the time I need to drive Edward where he needs to be. Because I really don't want to leave Emmett and Jasper home alone. Who knows what could happen without some kind of authority here to guide them?
Considering the day I had with them, anything is possible. That's what has me afraid.
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Thanks for reading. Hope you liked this chapter. :)))
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