I'm writing like a woman possessed, all thanks to you.
Not, but really, you guys are incredible! 315 hits, 33 alerts, 14 favs and 7 reviews for a measly 3,756 words in hardly 5 days. I already said that the last time, but, whoa, I'm so psyched now, I could write the whole day. Love you.
Enjoy the new chapter!
Chapter 2: Life Planning for Dummies
A project is defined by a clear beginning and end time wise and a specific goal. Or so my textbooks on project management always told me.
I sit in a baby chair in the kitchen as I'm about to plan the biggest project of my soul span. I feel like there should be some epic soundtrack accompanying this moment but sadly, there's nothing around but the domestic sounds of my new mother – uh, still uncomfortable about that –chopping vegetables for dinner.
Seems like if I want a badass soundtrack I'll need to write one myself. That's an idea, though. I want something in the direction of the Shingeki no Kyojin OST. Are there any metal bands in the Elemental Nations?
…
Anyway, back to the grand plan.
I've already decided on a name, too: Operation Uchiha Etsuko, or short OUE.
Ba-dum.
It's fancy. I dare you.
Like a model student I lay down the corner stones of the project, starting with all the important questions that begin with a W.
Who is involved? Me. Simple.
When will this take place? From now until my dying breath which spans over a period of roughly 32 years. Also simple.
What is the goal of the project?
… to make the Narutoverse a better place?
Yeah, well. That's a bit vague, I can at least admit to myself.
One of the most defining characteristics of a true goal, in comparison to a wish, is that the success has to be measurable. (Oh god, if my textbook had a conscience I would totally tell it that it's a big help in this whole reincarnation business.)
So what is the parameter that indicates that the Narutoverse has become a better place? Less dead people? More happy childhoods? A world minus Danzou?
As I mull over this question I come to the realization that this approach is not going to take me particularly far. Mainly because I don't have enough data.
Let's face it. The only things that I know for sure up until now are
1. I'm an Uchiha,
2. I have parents and
3. we're living in a house.
… which is kinda not enough to base your life plan on.
I need to find out more about my situation. Most important: At which point of the timeline am I? Who are the current key players? Of the manga key players, who does already exist? Also, are my parents important people? Do they have political sway within the clan? Can I make use of –
Oh. I could hit myself for my stupidity.
The clan.
The Uchiha clan.
How could I forget this teensy-weensy bit of information?
As it happens, I know loads about the clan history and the Sharingan and Madara and Obito and Itachi and Sasuke, and I'm pretty sure that this knowledge will come in handy someday, but the most important detail right now is: the Uchiha still exist.
Which means that now is some point before the massacre.
Which in turn makes one of my life goals pretty clear.
Prevent the Uchiha massacre.
It's not a thing solely born from the goodness of my heart. Thing is, if the Uchiha go down, I'm going with them. I'm not even dreaming of the possibility of being on par with Itachi, because, yeah well, it's Itachi. So it's rather out of necessity. I like to be alive, thank you very much.
But doubts creep up my mind even before the thought is fully spelt out.
Can I do this?
This is not only about my confidence but also about things that are out of my control. If Itachi is to slaughter the clan too soon – and even 5 years from now is definitely too soon – there's nothing I can do about it.
I let out a pathetic whine at that and flail uselessly with my arms. The beginnings of a giant headache are poking at my brain.
It's all no use if I don't get any more information. Fast.
I'm impatient like that.
"Etsuko, sweety? Are you all right?"
I look up into the concerned face of giante- new mom and find her standing right in front of my baby seat.
She is a pretty woman with the typical Uchiha features. Pale skin, large onyx eyes and raven black hair that falls straight past her shoulders. She looks incredibly tired and suddenly I feel guilty for being an unresponsive corpse for the past months. I'm sure she has heard from other women what a joy motherhood was, got real excited when she was pregnant and then – had me.
The poor woman must have thought that she was being punished or something.
I resolve to make that up to her and be a sweet, incredibly adorable baby from now on. I also promise myself to find out her name as soon as possible because although it's still hard for me to think of her as my mom, she deserves to at least be acknowledged in any sort. I am technically her child.
So I blink and attempt a toothless smile, because even if I don't understand what she's saying – yet – I can at least be nice.
That's apparently the right decision, because her face shifts and she beams at me. My breath hitches in my throat as I realize, holy shit, my new mom is beautiful.
I hope I don't come off as totally superficial here, but man, I'd really like it if I got at least some of those genes.
Encouraged, I try for something more this time. I remember the Japanese word for mother – avid anime watcher, remember? – and open my mouth to present her with my first word.
"Okaachan!"
… is what I hope comes out.
Unfortunately, it isn't. I croak something that sounds more like a strangled chicken that's trying to vomit vowels. Exquisite.
I hate untrained tongues and vocal chords immensely.
The beautiful lady who is my mom seems enamored by it nonetheless and makes soft cooing noises.
"My cute little baby girl. Mommy is so glad that everything's alright now."
I understand next to nothing of course but I get the feeling that she's pleased.
This language barrier has to go as fast as possible.
Which brings me to the last point of OUE.
Even if I still cannot pinpoint my exact goal, there're plenty of other things that I have to do anyway.
What is needed to fulfill the project's goal? The removal of the language barrier. Recovery of my motoric abilities.
Among other things.
By the time new mom returns to her vegetables I'm already in the middle of planning the fastest and most efficient way to learn Japanese.
)()()(
New dad comes home for dinner and my new parents fall into an easy conversation that soon lulls me into a daze. I yawn loudly and the standard Uchiha male that is my dad catches it.
"Look, Kiyomi, Etsuko is tired. We should take her back to bed" he says in a smooth baritone.
Damn Uchiha and their perfect voices. Don't they have any flaws? Aside from the Curse of Hatred, that is.
You're an Uchiha, too, you know? a voice pipes up in my head.
Huh. I tend to forget that at times.
"You're right. I will take her" says my new mom – whose name is Kiyomi if I understood right.
Kiyomi is a nice name. And I rigorously try not to think about that one Death Note character with the same name. I already know that okaachan is much nicer than that.
She lifts me from my baby chair and carries me through the house to my bedroom. I mumble sleepily on her shoulder, trying to get 'okaachan' right.
It doesn't work as well as I want it to but going by the gentle pats on my back, okaachan is pleased with my attempts.
That settles it. I'll be able to say 'okaachan' by tomorrow and I don't care if it takes me the whole night to practice.
What can I say? I'm easily motivated by people who believe in me.
As soon as she has laid me down, covered me with my dark blue blanket, given me a kiss on my forehead – I think I'm falling in love with my new mom at this point – and left the room, I begin to practice.
)()()(
As I mentioned before, I'm a trained classical violinist. Whilst many people envy musicians for being able to make a living out of their hobby, only very few know that this profession is actually based on hours and hours of hard work.
I started playing at the age of six, at the same time I entered elementary school, with half an hour practicing time every day. After a couple of months I increased it to one hour. This continued throughout elementary school up until graduation from high school, at which point I was practicing 3-4 hours a day. After high school I went to study violin and upped that time again to 6 hours.
In addition to the raw practicing time there were lessons, concerts, masterclasses and orchestra training as well. And it was not just me doing that. Basically every classical music career works like that.
Of course with this thing going on, I wasn't hanging out with peers very much. Training to be an instrumentalist is work that you have to do on your own.
And still so many people do that willingly. Why, you ask.
It's because we want to. Because we thrive on the feeling of being able to hold an instrument and express whatever we want with it.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because I firmly believe that almost every skill is acquirable with methodical practice and dedication. I'm not talking about talent here, and I'm not saying that just because you practice you get to be a pro. Far from it.
But practice opens the game. And I'm a master of practice. So I do what I do best.
I start off with exercises to warm up my facial muscles, accompanied with a low humming that brings the blood in my vocal chords into circulation.
I wrack my brain for the tips my voice instructor – bless his soul – once gave me and thank the program in my university that had allowed me to take singing lessons. Who would have thought that it would come in handy in the rare case of reincarnation?
First, breathing. Then vowels.
I wince when I hear a pitiful wheezing sound that is my voice. So tiny and weak. As Elizabeth, I used to have a powerful alto that went as deep as D3 and as high as A5. I think if I hadn't taken up the violin, I'd have become a singer.
But this is all behind me now. I have to start from scratch here.
I huff and croak my way through the night and reach my first goal, 'mama' in less than an hour. Considering that I haven't made a single sound during my zombie phase I count this as a fast victory, although 'm' and 'a' are the easiest out of the alphabet. I take a short break and proceed with 'papa'.
'Okaachan' is a long way coming.
)()()(
The faces they make as I burst out the results of my hard work at the dinner table on the next day are priceless.
And with good reason, I dare say. Apart from feeling exhausted and achy around my lips and jaw – can you believe it, I got a muscle hangover from trying to speak – I'm extremely proud that I have not only mastered 'okaachan' but also 'otousan'.
I had practiced into the wee hours of morning until my baby body had me surrendering to sleep, causing me to once again realize that even if my mind was that of an adult, my body was clearly not. Bah. As if I'd needed a reminder.
However, it caused me to realize something else as well: while I had difficulties thinking of my new parents as mom and dad, I had no qualms with 'okaachan' and 'otousan'. Which is kinda silly from an objective point of view, since they mean one and the same, but for me, it did the trick.
The human mind is a strange thing indeed.
Just for good measure, I call them again and wait for the silence to resolve itself with a rather smug grin on my face.
"She said her first words" okaachan finally says with wide eyes and a hand on the lower half of her face.
And then she nearly squeals: "Nobuo, she just said her first words!" She is so excited. A huge smile spreads across her features as she takes down her hand and laughs, a sound like the soft tinkle of a bell.
I stare unabashedly at her. Did I already mention that okaachan is beautiful?
I'm not the only one staring, though, as otousan can barely take his eyes off her. Although I'm supposedly the main attraction here I cannot begrudge him his apparent adoration for okaachan. I mean, they're so cute like that. Who would ever be angry with a couple that's so obviously in love?
A happy Uchiha couple. Feel these words melt in your mouth.
Of course, there's not nearly enough shown in the manga to say that they don't exist. But I still get the feeling that this is pretty special.
Suddenly I'm very, very glad to have them as the parents of my reincarnation.
Later, after okaachan has stopped gushing over me, an easy conversation ensues. I'm annoyed that I can't understand anything again.
"This is incredible" otousan says. "It almost seems like a switch has flipped somewhere in her head. She's a completely different person from before."
"I know what you mean" okaachan answers. "But let's not question this. I'm so happy at the moment, I want to forget those dreadful months as soon as possible."
"Is that a good idea? I mean, of course I'm happy, too, but what if –"
"Nobuo, please don't. Whatever it was, it clearly is over."
As I follow the discussion, I notice the tone in their voices gradually changing, though it's not enough that I could pinpoint anything. I strain my ears, trying to catch anything.
"It's strange, though" otousan begins after a short pause. "Did you notice her calling you okaa-chan but me otou-san rather than otou-chan? I'm pretty sure that's not something she picked up from me, because I sure wouldn't insist on my own daughter calling me that formally. Did you teach her?"
Okaachan looks surprised. "You're right. I … I didn't notice. But I didn't teach her that. But, I mean, maybe we said it accidentally? Where else would she get that from?"
"You must be right. I couldn't explain it otherwise, either."
)()()(
On the next morning, okaachan takes me out to the market.
I'm super excited. Not only is it the first time I (consciously) leave the house, but I might finally get an answer to the question of where I am on the timeline.
I'm packed into a tight bundle and bound in front of okaachan's chest in a device that makes me look like sausage. A light wind blows through my sparse hair and makes the hem of okaachan's dress flutter. In addition to me, she carries an empty basket.
The market is at its peak and bustling with people. It's not long before okaachan is stopped by people who want to talk to her – and see me.
I'm freed from the confines of the device that admittedly keeps me safe and close to okaachan but at the same time prevents me from seeing anything other than her chest, which is quite annoying.
She takes me into her arms in a lying position so that I can see the faces of my observers.
As they start gushing over me I can't help but feel like I'm an animal in a zoo. They're too loud, too intrusive – several ladies try to pinch my cheek, goddamnit – and most importantly, they keep us from finishing our shopping. I don't even try to hide my annoyance from my face and I'm pretty sure it translates well.
At one point, okaachan finally decides that she has enough and starts to put me back into that holder thing.
Sorry, but, no. I don't think so.
I flail wildly with my arms and legs and try to convey this message to her. I'm relieved to see that she understands.
The new holding arrangement has me basically sitting on her arms and my head leaning against her shoulder. Thanks to that, I get to peek over her and can finally study my environment for clues.
The market doesn't offer much, only that it is apparently within the Uchiha district, judging by the Uchiha fan displayed literally everywhere. It's on the stalls, on the walls of the houses and of course on the people's clothes. Talking about clan pride, huh.
I try to find a familiar face, anything to help me gauge where in the flow of time I am, but it's simply too chaotic. In the end, this trip to the market has not helped me anywhere near as much as I hoped it would.
Okaachan finishes with her shopping and makes her way back to our house. Although her basket is loaded now, she still lets me sit on her left arm while her right balances the groceries. That thing must be heavy, as it's filled to the brim with food, but okaachan manages it as if it was nothing.
It's thanks to this and a turn of my head that in the last moment before we enter the house I finally see the clue.
There, looming in the distance, is the Hokage Mountain.
It has three heads on it.
)()()(
So, it's the Sandaime's reign before the Yondaime, huh?
I groan as I realize the implications of this.
I'm somewhere in the middle of generation Kakashi, which means either the Third Shinobi War is yet to happen or it's happening right now.
Judging by the peaceful atmosphere on the market I will take an educated guess and say that it's yet to come.
Which is just peachy.
No, really, it's not.
Because if I want to stay with my (vague) goal of making the Narutoverse a better place, there's no way of skirting around this.
For the first time since I made this decision I second-guess myself.
What was I thinking, setting a goal like that?
I am not some badass superhero. Hell, in my first life I hated the idea of physical exertion so much that I hadn't even been able to get my ass out for a jog once in a while. I must've been the laziest person on Earth in regards to sports.
Where did I get the idea that I could make this place a better world when every important decision is made by shinobi, whose most defining characteristic is their sheer physical power? Every single one, down to the youngest genin must exercise more in a week than I have in my whole two lives. I have absolutely nothing going for me but a talent for music, an adequately quick mind and … my foreknowledge.
Which, as it happens, is a huge advantage that nobody else has.
Gods.
Does this foreknowledge place me under an obligation to improve this world?
In my previous life, I learned the hard way not to be an idealistic idiot. Just because you worked for something hard it didn't mean you would get it and just because something was unfair, even if direly so, it didn't mean it would be punished.
But I also learned that the greater goal of every decent human being should be to try to contribute to the common good of society.
In my own way, I have always strived to be a decent human being. My parents' fault.
It might still be idealistic idiotism. But if so, it's deep-seated idealistic idiotism, able to survive the strain of reincarnation.
I sigh.
…
As of now, I'm officially an idiot.
Because, I, the person originally most averse to any kind of physical exercise, have decided that I want to become a shinobi to achieve the (still vague) goal of making this world a better place.
I just hope that I'm not completely useless by the time I become 32.
I'm sorry if someone didn't catch the Death Note reference, but rest assured, it's nothing too important.
Btw, go and listen to the Shingeki no Kyojin sountrack. It's awesome and I'm currently listening to it over and over and over ... you get the idea.
To Guest reviewer Shiori: Thank you for your review! I hope this chapter has answered your question. :)
To the other anon reviews: Thank you guys!
I'm a bit afraid I rambled too much in this chapter. Sorry for that. What do you think?