Going Home

I wake up feeling, in my soul I'm
Living someone else's life
I'm turning into concrete, harder than these city streets
Where no one even cares if I'm alive- Coming Home by Kieth Urban

The rushing of the shower drowned the sound of my sobbing. I'd been crying on and off for the last few days, and I felt so messed up. Which is normal, my mother had said. To be expected, said Dr. Nakumura. Just take it slow, said my dad, and I guess that's what I'm going to do.

It was all so strange, being in this older body, with friends that had magically gotten older too. Tsu was in my room packing my things, so I could leave these four sterile walls. Kaiden was out there too, napping in his car seat as mom or dad got my paperwork filled out. And I knew that Todoroki had stayed with my parents in the hotel across the street for a week while I slept. As the seeming rotten cherry at the top, I knew that every classmate I had, that was still here in Japan at any rate, had come to see me during the last week. All except Midoriya.

I cursed my swiss cheese memory, wondering what could have happened. I clearly remembered Midoriya laughing and joking while we did our practice town sweep around UA. I'd heard a bit from Tsu who'd been on our team that I'd been hurt but I couldn't remember any of it. Especially what could have happened to make the one guy I admired above all others hate me. It was Madoiya, so maybe hate was a strong word, but he still hadn't come.

Maybe it had something to do with Kaiden. When they'd brought him in I felt an instant connection, though I didn't even recall his name. I'd fallen in love with him, and had learned all I could about breastfeeding and child CPR and everything else the hospital wanted to teach me about child care. But who had fathered him? It hadn't been Midoriya. Just one look at the baby had been enough to spell that out quite clearly.

I shook my head and scrubbed at my skin with soap mom had brought here from my apartment. Irrational anger and rational frustration stopped the tears, and I finished rinsing so I could get out and join them.

I turned off the spray, and wrapped my hair in a towel and my body in a thick terry robe. I checked my face, no sign of the tears, and I smiled at myself to lift my own spirits somewhat. I left the bathroom to see that Nakamura-sensei had joined my family, chatting with them and laughing.

"Nakumura-sensei," I smiled at her too, she was the whole reason why I was being allowed to leave after all. She pushed her glasses up with perfectly manicured fingers that held a secret. I didn't know the full details, but if she were on the street, she'd be well able to protect herself. She was a psychologist, and a very nice woman who was helping me come to grips with my new life.

Her big green eyes crinkled at the corners in a true smile, "Ochaco, I just wanted to have one last talk with you before you're discharged. I didn't know you were in the shower though."

"Oh, Tsu, come on, let's give them some privacy." My mom chased my dad and friend out, "Would you like me to leave Kei-chan?"

"He's in his car seat. Go ahead and take him." I returned Nakamura-sensei's smile with a sigh, "Yikes it's busy here! I don't mind if you stay while I get dressed."

She scootched around on her little stool to face the opposite wall, "Are you feeling anxious?"

"A little." I rubbed my hair and unwound it, tossing the towel over the edge of the bed before unbelting my robe and finishing up with the towel. "I feel like going back home is a step backwards.. I sort-of just want to go to my apartment with Kai-chan."

"Do you think you're up to having him full time? I checked with your nurses, and he's only been here with you for one night."

I pulled on clothes and thought for a moment before replying, "He slept through the night. I love him, and we're all synched up with breastfeeding. I know that was hard on us both, but yes. Yes, I am positive I can live by myself."

"Mmm." She shrugged, "How about a compromise? Your parents want to help, and your friends seem eager to as well. Not surprising considering who they are." She gave a sharp bark of a laugh, "At any rate, I would prefer that you have a roommate to talk to and get back on your feet with. Especially if you want to start training to be a hero again."

I grabbed up my hair brush and an elastic, shaping and pulling my hair into a pony, "I understand why you disapprove." I put the brush down with a click, "I'm dressed."

"It's dangerous work. You have a steady job that you were obviously supporting your family with." Her placid face radiated concern, "After speaking with your parents, they assured me that even now you're still more than competent to start up again tomorrow."

"I know. I do, but my dream was, no, my dream is to be a hero. I still remember getting up with the sun to train and study. All the horrible things that happened up to a few days up to my 17th birthday. And all the fantastic things too! I have to at least give it a shot. If it doesn't work..."

The doctor smiled again, "You've certainly thought things out. If you get a roommate, I'll allow you to go home today. Someone who can help with Kaiden, housework, rent, and so forth. Especially if you're going back to train. I'll be calling on you in a few days to check up as well."

I nodded, "I'll ask Tsuyu. She and I used to talk about how she raised her younger siblings. And we are..." I wrinkled my nose, "We were good friends. She's already hinted that she'd be okay with it."

The doctor stood, her low heels clicking on the linoleum, "Have you had any memory return?"

"I don't know. I feel like I remember Kaiden, but..." I shook my head, "I'm not sure if that's because I was really focused on him. I don't remember his birth. I somehow knew he prefers to bounce instead of being patted after a meal."

"That's something. Keep at it. Start a routine, and ask what your old routine was and try to do those things. Smells and sights are keys to memory. We're programmed to associate those sensations with memories, so try everything!" She stuck out her hand, and I shook it, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Ochaco. I'll call in a few days. If you feel like making appointments to see me it's included in your compensation."

"Thank you Dr. Nakamura."

The older woman left and I finished packing my things while pondering what I was supposed to be doing now. I needed more information. I had asked questions that had seemed important when I woke up. Where do I live? How did I get hurt? But everything else after being reintroduced to Kaiden had taken an immediate backseat.

I needed to know what had happened. I sussed that I'd lost and then mysteriously regained my powers, but how? Who was Kaiden's father? I had been too embarrassed to ask that one, but I would have to know. He had obviously not come to see me. Finally, was it too late to pursue becoming a hero? I retrieved my soaps from the shower and took one final look around to make sure I wasn't leaving anything before I left.

Stepping into the hallway made me feel like a spotlight had found me. My parents, who had been talking to Dr. Nakamura, turned to smile at me. Tsu was positively beaming in my direction. And possibly the last person I ever expected to see waiting was, "Todoroki?"

"Uraraka," He stepped forward, his face more animated than the last time I'd seen him a few days ago. "I have to go on patrol, but I wanted to see you before you were discharged."

"Oh!" I bit back the little giggle, the one that bubbled up along with the blush I couldn't stop. Talking with the boys I'd gone to school with had been so odd. They were heroes, the ones I knew they'd be when we'd been in school, and they were one and all hunky. Shoto was in his costume, which was much more sexy than it had been when I'd actually been seventeen. With a crisp white vest hugging his torso over a dark blue shirt that had the top few buttons hanging open, I could just barely resist staring.

"Okay." I hadn't said anything, but his eyes darted to the side before coming back to rest on me, "I don't want to lose contact with you again, may I call you?"

"Yeah! Yes, of course. Mom and Dad say you were here a lot while I was sleeping. I hadn't thanked you for that." Tsuyu looked between us, and I hugged my bundle close. I didn't understand why he'd stayed here with them, but I was thankful.

He shook his head, "I couldn't not help." He'd changed enough to smile with a chuff of a laugh, "I'm a hero, after all." I nodded and he stepped back, "I have to go. I'll call you later in the week." He turned and walked briskly down the hallway, just to pull open the stairwell door and dart inside.

"Todoroki has sure changed."

"Ribbit," Tsu croaked happily as she covered her smile, "Not all that much," she giggled, "did you see him run?"

I gave dad my bag, and motioned for Kai-chan's carrier. With the weight of him in my right hand, I peered down the hallway Todoroki had just disappeared down, "That's what I meant. I mean," I paused, reformulating my words for past-tense. "I mean that before, he would have just tilted his head and wondered why everyone seemed so awkward." I shook my head, "He's changed. For the better, I think."

Tsu nodded and my mom squeezed my shoulder. My father hefted the bag, and went to sign me out. I waited for the nurse to come with the wheelchair, and wondered anew why he'd stayed.

A round little orderly rolled up and helped me into the wheelchair. I settled Kaiden's carrier in my lap, and we left the hospital. Outside were a couple of cars, one I recognized, the other I didn't. Tsuyu mutely handed my father a set of keys which must have matched the little coupe that suddenly reminded me of my friend. It was shiny with an emerald paint job and a golden racing stripe.

"See you ladies at home," my dad said with a grin as he lowered himself into the shiny coupe.

I regarded my parents' ancient Toyota with a smile, "What, I don't have a car?"

"Sorry," said mom with a small laugh. "We've tried to get you to get one, but you say that everywhere you want to go is within walking distance to the train station."

"It's the best exercise." Finally something in my new life that made total sense. I'd been walking my way to health ever since I was a kid.

The orderly pulled the wheelchair up to the car, "Do you need help installing the car seat?" My mom shook her head, "Then this is where we part ways! Have a pleasant weekend, and happy holidays, Miss Uraraka." He helped me stand and I bid him a quick goodbye while I watched mom belt in Kai-chan. I opened the door and slid in next to him, fishing a sueded brown squid with rubberized pads that Kai-chan liked to chew on out of his diaper bag. I put on a bright smile and wiggled it at him until he smiled back and reached for it.

I allowed my head to fall back as I closed my eyes. I started my real life as an adult today. I desperately hoped that my memory came back, but I couldn't moan about it anymore. They were floating around in there, or they weren't. Nothing I could do or say would change that, so I had to let go of the frustration of not knowing. I felt mom turn over the engine, and I smiled. I could do this.

"Mom?" I sat straight so I could see her face in the rear-view mirror, "Do you know who Kai-chan's father is?"

She choked, and her brows raised as she looked at me in the mirror, "I'm sorry, I don't. You refused to tell me."

I blinked hard; I refused? For what possible reason? "Did I ever say anything about it?"

"I can tell you what happened the day you told me you were pregnant, but, no. Not really." She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, "Except that you insisted that Kaiden is the product of love." She snorted lightly, "I didn't even know you were dating, for all that I saw you almost everyday at work." She glanced to the side, then found my eyes again, "Sorry, baby, I suppose I'm still a little upset that you couldn't trust me. I've been working on it."

I turned to watch the traffic, digesting this new information. I told her everything. What possible reason could I have? I mean, if I loved him then why wouldn't my parents? "Have I been more secretive? I can't believe I wouldn't say anything. I mean, isn't it on Kai's birth certificate?"

She shook her head and Tsu turned to look at me, and I could see the confusion in her eyes. They must be mirroring my own. I used to be an open book! "That's one mystery that won't be solved any time soon."

I sighed and ran my fingers over Kai's cinnamon-colored pouf. His hair was definitely on the red side of brown. His eyes were startlingly blue, the color of the Morning Glory that grew in our yard when I was small. Nothing like my own brown eyes. If anything, they might be like my dad's eyes, which were the color of a stormy sea, a grey-blue. I blew out a wistful sigh. With quirks came all kinds of changes: spontaneous hair, skin, eye mutation just to name a few. So, no help there. Of course.

Tsu turned around in her seat, "Ribbit," she rearranged her long forest-green hair. "We'll try and figure it out. Don't worry."

"I'm not." Two pairs of eyes glanced up at the rear-view, "Really. I'm just getting tired of surprises, and I'm hoping that's the last one; for a while at least."

"What about becoming a hero? When..." mom's voice faded before she continued. "When you lost your quirk, Nezu-sensei said you could come back. But that was five years ago. You can't go back to high school."

Tsu nodded, "I've been thinking about it. I've called Aizawa-sensei." She croaked softly, "He told me to have you call when your day-to-day has settled enough to figure out a training regimen and practice sessions."

Not for the first, or I suspect, the last time, I tried to reconcile the person who had managed to alienate all her friends with the person who I am now. Tsu was honestly the best friend I could ever have had.

"Thank you, Tsu." I smiled at her, happy that even after everything she was here now, ready to be my friend again.

AN/ I chose to describe Kai-chan's eyes as morning glory because in Japanese flower language, Morning Glory (Asagao) means 'brief love'. SO I looked up kai-den and apparently his name in kanji would mean ocean's voice or mysterious story. I love it, actually, but, no. I suppose I'll have to write that his name is spelled out in romanji. Kaiden means fighter here in the US and is a variation of an Irish name. Mr. Mosevic, as ever, is the best.

Todoroki's costume… Thank you sakimichan on Deviant Art (and elsewhere) for helping me to update their costumes. Although their work is mature, it is also quite often gorgeous. Please be prepared.