"These arms hold crimson droplets,
lightning bolts and jagged lines.
Though people laugh at scars so deep,
they, in spite of fate, are mine.

I see them before I go to sleep,
and when I am revived.
I've walked mountains in the skin I'm in,
and have managed to survive."

- Excerpts, Poetry Slam

Maya woke up to the sound of her little sister crying, and she rolled over on the floor, groaning as she grabbed her phone to open the baby monitor app. Sure enough, Hannah was standing in her crib with her hands grasping the wooden railing, her tiny face crumpled up with her sobs.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Maya muttered, standing up and tying her hair up into a messy bun as she left the room and headed down the hall to Hannah's. The room was dark and quiet compared to Maya's; Hannah's room didn't have a bay window, just a regular one, that was currently covered with shades to darken the room for her nap. Hannah quieted down a little as she watched Maya go to open the shades and let light spill in, before she came to hoist her sister out of the crib.

"Hi," she cooed. "You awake?"

Hannah's big blue eyes stared up at her, and Maya used one of her sleeves to wipe the tears from the baby's face.

Glancing around at the room, she walked over to close the bedroom door and put Hannah down on the carpet next to her toy baskets.

"How about we hang out in here?" Maya suggested, knowing she could basically leave Hannah to her own devices in the room as long as the door was shut. Not having to watch her ever move would mean she could do some homework; the homework she was supposed to do a while ago.

Hannah began to grab toys and pull them out while Maya dashed to her room to grab her laptop and returned within 30 seconds. She settled down in the rocking chair and set up her laptop such that she could keep an eye on Hannah over the screen, and set to work.

He was walking towards his favorite restaurant for dinner when he got the text, and he glanced down at it, a little surprised to get a text from her. He and Riley didn't talk all the time, so it made him wonder what this was all about.

Riley: Hey, call me when you get the chance?

Sliding the phone open, he tapped on her phone number and put it to his ear. She picked up within one ring.

"Hey," she sighed, "thanks for calling so quick."

"Is something wrong?" He asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, to both," Riley admitted. "Something's wrong, but not with me." She took a deep breath. "When was the last time you talked to Maya?"

He scratched the back of his neck, thinking back. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "Why?"

"Lucas saw her earlier, he said she seemed really out of it… and I talked to her this morning, for the first time in a while, and she seemed kind of shut down. Maybe it's just an off day for her, but we haven't really noticed her around the halls or in the cafeteria, so we're just a little… worried," Riley explained. "Maybe it's nothing, and we really don't know what's going on in her life anymore, but-"

"I get it, you're worried." He chewed his lip, thinking.

"Lucas thinks that if we try to invite her to hang out with us she'd feel like a third wheel or like we're staging an intervention if we all get together, so I thought maybe you could talk to her; at least get a feel if something is really wrong," Riley suggested.

He sighed. "I haven't seen her in a long time either, I'm not sure how open she'd be to talking to me."

"Can you try at least?"

He glanced down at his watch, deciding to forgo dinner. "Do you know where she might be right now?"

"Home, maybe?" Riley guessed. "I don't know where else to find her. I don't know what else she does."

"I'll go over there now, just check in," he offered, turning around to head for the subway. "I'll talk to you later."

He could hear the relief in Riley's voice. "Thanks, Uncle Josh."

Maya was on a roll. She'd finished four assignments and started rewriting her paper for history when she heard the doorbell ring, and she looked at her watch. Who would be visiting at 7pm?

"Are you expecting someone?" She asked Hannah, and Hannah smiled, almost as if she had understood Maya's joke. When the doorbell rang again, she got up and picked up her sister from the floor, settling her on her hip as she headed for the door.

One look through the peephole and she could feel her heart speed up. Three Matthews interactions in one day? She was screwed.

She left the chain on as she opened the door a crack to glance cautiously out. "What are you doing here?"

"It's been a while since we talked," Josh offered, his hands in his pockets. "Let me in?"

"I'm watching my sister," Maya tried to dismiss him.

Josh grinned. "I think you mean we're watching your sister."

Maya rolled her eyes and shut the door for a second, seriously considering walking away. But would it be more or less concerning to them if she didn't talk to Josh?

Finally, she undid the chain with one hand and pulled open the door, letting Josh in.

"She's big," Josh commented as he followed her into the living room. "I think she was just like 4 months old when I last saw her."

Maya set Hannah down on the floor in the living room, watching as she crawled towards the toys left strewn around. "Yeah, kids grow fast."

While Maya's eyes stayed on her sister, Josh looked over the blonde. She hadn't changed much in the way of height or weight, which did help Josh's nerves calm a little bit. He knew Riley had been asking about Maya's mental health, and although he wasn't regularly the most observant guy, he knew the signs to look for when he was looking.

"How have you been?" He asked from where he was still standing, even as Maya had sat down on the couch.

She looked up, and he could immediately see the lack of emotion in the way that she feigned nonchalance. "Uh, I'm good I guess? How have you been?"

"School's been stressful," he confessed. "I'm getting into my harder classes now."

"Yeah, school's tough," Maya agreed, a little softer as her eyes slid back to Hannah.

"But campus culture is cool and I've got friends in several clubs I'm in," Josh pivoted. "What have you been doing?"

"My art club was banned," Maya said, rolling her eyes. "But I'm still… drawing."

"Do you hang out with any of your friends anymore?" He asked, carefully dancing around the subject.

Maya glanced back at him, her eyes narrowing as she realized that this was exactly what she had thought it was. "Riley called you?"

Josh sighed. "She's a little worried about you. She says she hasn't seen you much around school."

"We run in different circles now," Maya dismissed. "She spends most of her time with the cheerleading team."

"And what circles do you run in?" Josh probed.

Maya glared at him. "Stop patronizing me, Josh."

Josh was a little startled at how quickly her mood changed, but he adapted. "I want to know what's going on in your life. You seem different."

"Different from the girl you knew a whole year ago?" Maya snorted. "Yeah, people grow up. Riley would know that if she and I still talked, but we don't. I'd rather not be her latest charity project, so please report back to her that I'm fine and she doesn't need to worry about me." She looked over to Hannah as she scratched her forearm, and did her very best not to wince at the pain she needed to ground herself in.

"You seem depressed, antisocial," Josh stated bluntly. He had not wanted this conversation to turn into an argument, but this was where they were now. He glanced down at her hand, which was crossed over her body holding onto her left forearm. He couldn't see her other arm, but something about the way she was moving was giving him a sick feeling in his stomach.

"I'm not depressed. And just because I'm not surrounded by friends doesn't mean I'm antisocial. Riley is just overly social."

"Is your arm okay?" Josh asked, and Maya's eyes flicked up to his.

"Bug bites."

"Scratching will only make them worse," Josh said, entirely not buying that story.

"Are you here to give me a skincare lesson?"

Josh groaned. "No, Maya, I'm here as your friend. I want-"

"Since when were we ever friends?"

Josh balked at the words coming from the girl, and realized just how much Maya had changed. Fourteen year old Maya would have teased him about being friends or something more, and this Maya simply wanted nothing to do with him.

Maya could feel the cuts bleeding under her shirt, and she moved her fingers away, hoping the blood hadn't seeped through to get on her fingers. All she wanted was to end this conversation. Before Josh got any more information than he was already guessing.

At one point she would have loved to have Josh come check on her, because it meant he cared about her, he was thinking about her. But he had had a year to do that. A year in which she had found her solace when nothing else, no one else, was there to keep her in check. And he didn't get to care about her now; not when it was so obvious that the only reason he was even there was because Riley was feeling guilty about not talking to her in so long. She wasn't responsible for making Riley feel better any more.

Part of her screamed that that exact sentence was a sign she had gone too far.

"You can leave now," she suggested. She got up and walked past him to pick Hannah up with her right arm. "You know where the door is."

Josh had seen all he needed to see.

He pulled out his phone as he left the apartment and headed for the stairs.

Riley's phone buzzed and she picked it up to open the text from her uncle, heart beating quickly.

Josh: She's hiding something

Riley: Like what?

Josh: I think she's hurting herself

Riley stared down at her phone, her eyes widening.

Riley: Hurting herself?

Josh typed a minute, then stopped, then typed again.

Josh: I think she's cutting

Riley blinked, feeling like an idiot but having to make sure what she thought Josh was saying was.

Riley: Cutting?

Josh: She's cutting her own arms, Riley. Self harm.

Riley could feel her stomach start to reverse, and she dropped her phone and dashed to the garbage can as she began to heave, but nothing came out. Instead, she sank down on the floor, her knuckles still white clenched around the rim of the can as she breathed hard, trying to process the information she was being forced to learn.

Maya was cutting herself. Maya.

She knew that she and Maya had grown distant in recent years, changed, but she never could have thought Maya would do something so drastic. Maya had been her best friend, they'd been inseparable for seven whole years. She knew Maya, right? This wasn't the kind of thing Maya did. Maya was the beautiful blonde artist with a wild fiery soul and a smile that made you wonder what she was thinking about. She was not the kind of girl that cuts herself.

She crawled back to her phone to type, What do I do?

Josh: I'll handle it.

Riley: What will you do?

Josh typed for a moment, then stopped typing. Then sent one message.

Josh: I don't know.

A/N: I feel like this was kind of anticlimactic but I wasn't really sure what I wanted to happen in this chapter. I hope this will suffice. Riley's going to confront her too, but I have no idea what will happen after that.

I have homework to do.

Kisses,

C