CHAPTER ELEVEN
Driving out of Charming I head towards Stockton, needing the calming state the rumble of my engine and the road feel of my car gives me.
"You alright?" Donna asks after 10 minutes of silence, her grip has lessened on the leather seats and she seems to have relaxed.
"Nope, everyone seems to think that I punched that bitch. Jax, Gemma, Tig, fuck even Opie thought it for a minute last night when we came back. I don't know what the hell she did to herself but she's got a broken nose, and cracked her eye socket." I exclaim angrily, feeling my foot go a bit further down on the accelerator.
"Hey, calm down, we know you didn't do anything." Donna says, "Once they work that out you'll have a line of them wanting to be the first to apologise." She ends with a soft smile.
"I know, but the fact that they have forgotten so much about me kind of irritates. I was so anti-violence back then, why would I suddenly be all for punching someone who said something wrong?" I ask, hoping that Donna will give me an answer that stops the Ferris wheel of confusion that is circling in my head.
"Apart from the noses you broke. You know it would make it much easier for everyone if they knew why those people got punched." Donna's trying to remind me that while her and I both know why I broke 3 girls noses in high school not a single person other than her heard the vile things that were said to me before the punches where thrown.
"Sarah, when you left, you were also anti-tattoo, anti-piercing, anti-kids, anti-marriage, I think if you could have been you would have been anti-anti. You were so against everything except driving fast, getting drunk and getting high." Donna says; reminding me just how messed up a teenager I was.
"You seem to have lost the anti-tattoo judging by the amount you display. You're definitely not anti-piercing; I can count at least 9 from here. I know you're not anti-kid...you never really were, but you wanted everyone to think you hated them, after your childhood I'm not surprised really."
"In fact, S, the only thing I can still see about you that is the same is the love of speed. But because I've been in contact with you this whole time I saw things change, you mellowed out a lot. I think for you leaving Charming was the best thing that you could do at the time, even if now it seems like you should have stayed. But, please, let everyone else catch up with the new you." Donna finishes, sounding like she's going to cry.
I glance over at her and realise that she possibly will if she doesn't get control of herself. Putting my hand over hers on the seat I remind her "D, I left everything in Charming when I went to New York. I reinvented myself as a new person, I had to. New York would have eaten me alive and spat out the pieces. But I'm back now, I'm not going away again, so everyone will have the rest of my life to get used to the new me, and how much I'm not the old me, bar a few things. I kept most of the old me, but the things that have changed are ones that I guess I was hiding all along. I was anti so many things because everyone around us," I say, motioning between her and myself, "accepted it all as the norm. I didn't want to be another chick hanging around the garage who becomes a sweet butt. That was never part of my plan; it was never what I saw in my future."
"I know that Sarah, but like I said, I talked to you as you changed, as the real you climbed out of the wreckage of your teenage life."
Thankful for the level-headedness of my best friend I finally think that I understand where she's coming from, and why everyone is acting so distant around me.
We spent the rest of the drive talking about random things and organising menus and feeding locations when Donna points out that it's Thursday, so tomorrow is party night at the Clubhouse, which brings a whole new range of possible futures flicking through my brain.
Donna sees the panic forming on my face, squeezes my hand, "If you feel uncomfortable at any time, we'll leave. I promise."
"Thank you."
"So, this fucken key ring that you've got, wanna explain that?" she asks, a note of irritation in her voice.
"I honestly thought I had lost those photos when I packed. I found them after about 8 months in New York buried in a box I had refused to open. Al saw them and stole them. 2 days later she gave me the key ring. It was my way of keeping you close to me at all times D."
She looks a bit happier, and I hope I can make her forgive me by the time we get done with shopping.
"How bouts, when we go to take the trailer back you come with me and we'll go shopping? My treat?" I offer, hope definitely colouring my voice.
She looks over at me, "Anything I want?"
"How bout clothes and shoes to start with. I'm not buying you cars or houses." I erupt into laughter at her face.
"Pfttttttt." The raspberry she blows at me makes me giggle more.
"Okay, shopping trip that's ALL your treat." She grins and I know I'm forgiven.
The conversation turns to other things and I tell her my concerns that Cam and Al won't fit into Charming, and will find it dull, but she reminds me that they aren't coming for the Club, they aren't coming to see Charming they are coming because I needed them.
By the time we come out of the last store having picked up meat for Donna's freezer to last at least a week I feel a lot better about the impending arrival of my New Yorkers, something Donna dubbed them while we wandered looking for a living cilantro plant, also calling me a snob for insisting the 4 we saw were too small.
Pulling back into Donna's driveway after an eventful shopping trip I almost consider turning around and leaving again when the bike in the driveway comes into focus, and the pissed off looking biker leaning against it, but thinking about what Donna said I realise that Jax needs to be reminded I'm not the same person, but he also needs to be reminded that I'm not leaving again.
Unloading the groceries to Donna's kitchen bench she shoves me back outside to talk to Jax saying with a grin, and well within his earshot, "We'll go to the real estate agent when you've talked to tall blonde and brooding over there."
Walking over to him I feel like I'm on a march to my executioner. He looks like he's conflicted about what he wants to say, but in the end the words that come out are questioning, not the accusation I was expecting. "Real estate agent?"
Of all the things I thought he'd pick first I did not think it would be about my choice of Thursday afternoon activities.
Shrugging I look towards Donna's front door, "Well, I can't live at the Hotel Winston forever, as much as I love and have missed Donna and Opie, I need to start living my life, I have no intentions of leaving Charming, and what better way for everyone to realise how serious I am about then to buy a house?"
Jax looks surprised that I'd buy a house after being back in town for only two days, but then remembers whatever it was that he came to tell me and his face twists into an angry expression. "Tara has to have surgery tomorrow. You flattened her nose and broke her cheekbone when you hit her." He spits out, glaring at me as if it's an offence that I'm standing there and his precious Tara is in hospital.
I'm rapidly losing all patience with this situation, and the disbelief that all my old friends seem be displaying. "Firstly, I know what's wrong with her. Your mother told me today when she became the third person to ask me if I hit her. Secondly, ask Tig, he checked my knuckles again for bruising, and found none. Surprise surprise, seeing I didn't hit her. Thirdly, and I don't think you'll believe this, but I am sorry for her having to have surgery, however I don't have a clue what happened to her. "
Jax snorts and a "Yeah, right." Comes slipping out of his mouth, it's that tiny sentence that breaks the last trace of control I have.
"For the last fucken time Jackson Nathaniel Teller, I did NOT punch her. If I wanted to break her it would have been more than her god-damn nose. Though it is a miracle it could have been broken by anyone with how far up your ass it is." I storm past him, shoving him out of the way and slam my way back into the house, only just remembering to grab the door before it slams closed again.
"That sounded fun." Donna remarks dryly from her position at the counter, holding her phone in one hand and the phone book in the other.
Looking over at her, she puts her phone down, crosses the room and envelopes me in a hug, "Oh, Sarah. Its okay, he'll realise he's being such an asshole. Anyway, let's go. Mandy is expecting us in 10 minutes." She seems to brighten at that and shoves me towards the door I've only just come in.
Heading over to the door again, we both hear the sound of Jax's bike roar to life and tear off down the street. Rolling my eyes at his behaviour I decide that I can't let it get to me, he's being an asshole, but he'd acted like this before and he got over it. Granted, I might make him grovel for many months this time before I eventually decided to forgive him.
Climbing into my car again I turn to Donna and remark with a giggle, "I feel like I've spent more time in my car during the last week then I had at any other time since I brought it. Just as well it's one sexy piece of machinery."