Heya, it's been some time!

I'm still alive and JC is still going strong, in no small part thanks to all of your encouragement, too! I feel incredible seeing that we've reached 1000+ reviews which is just - wow. Thank you so, so much, you can't imagine how much that means to me! And in addition to that both colasea and toibun over on tumblr have blessed me with so much fanart, I am beyond amazed. Here's a huge shoutout for you!

And now before I start crying, a small announcement for something beta and I have been excited to share with you for months: we've been working on a Harry Potter collab fic, with the Prologue having been posted today, as well. It's "Waking Dragons"; if you have a mind, we'd love to see you there! :-)

Of course, you're always welcome to leave some love for NightsBlackRose13 here, too, because without them, this chapter would have been a lot less polished. Again. Lol.

Chapter 25: Testing Fate

One week ago

"Since it can be reasonably assumed that the Uchiha is going to wake up, it is absolutely necessary to discuss the next step in making sure that her skills are put to use in Konoha's best interest."

Danzou watched as both Koharu and Homura nodded in agreement, as always able to see when he made reasonable suggestions. He prided himself in always making reasonable suggestions.

And as always, Hiruzen was slow to follow.

"It wouldn't make sense to allocate her to another genin team," Danzou continued, his eyes never leaving those of his former teammate, "considering not only the time it would take for everyone involved to get used to the new arrangement, but also the time Konoha loses not honing the skills of possibly the most promising weapon since the mokuton."

Koharu's eyebrows shot up. "That is some extraordinarily high praise, especially coming from you."

He shifted his gaze to her. "Is it? I never denied the power of the Uchiha clan – this and their unpredictability are the reason why they need to be tightly controlled in the first place."

"A wild animal on a leash does as it is forced to do, always waiting for an opportunity to run free," Hiruzen interjected. Finally. He'd been wondering why it took so long. "Winning its trust, however, makes it not only a reliable partner but also a dedicated supporter."

"Trust is a two-way-street," Danzou retorted without missing a beat. "The Uchiha have shown us in the past that they're not interested in becoming long-term partners. You cannot keep holding a door open that they don't want to go through, Hiruzen. You only invite more trouble in that way."

"What do you propose, then, Danzou?" Homura asked.

Just the opening he needed. Homura had always had the most accurate sense of timing.

"I have the perfect solution." He smiled.

"Let me introduce to you the new black ops unit I've been working on within my ROOT division – a unit that will consist of the most loyal and uniquely skilled shinobi Konoha can ask for: DeepROOT ops."

)()()( )()()(

Present time

I have never been the type to whom the understanding of natural sciences came, well, naturally.

True, I did well enough in math and physics, having been raised by my parents with a keen appreciation for the ability to think along the lines of logic, but biology had always been a hit-or-miss interest-wise and chemistry – ugh, don't talk about chemistry in my presence. I don't think I've ever understood anything of that subject, not even on Day 1. Particularly on Day 1. I like to blame my teacher for my complete incompetency in that subject because that's more comfortable than admitting that I was too lazy to take the time and learn at least the basics on my own.

So imagine my surprise when I realize that not only do Orochimaru's explanations make sense, they also make me genuinely curious about the results. Even though it's not an assignment that's going to move the earth. Even though I ask a lot of question, most of them probably stupid. Even though I'm about as charming about it as a constipated penguin.

I mean, not that I actively tried to be charming, but you know. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't killed me of annoyance yet.

Maybe that blaming-the-teacher-strategy has merit after all. Eheh. And yes, that was me admitting in a very roundabout way that Orochimaru isn't a half bad teacher.

Which.

Well.

I feel icky finding something positive to say about Orochimaru.

Yeah, I'm that petty. Strange to have such strong feelings about a psychopath that experiments on children, right?

To be fair, now that I think about it – him being a decent teacher probably shouldn't come as a surprise. I mean, his students made some of the most badass shinobi in canon, ethical orientations notwithstanding. Kabuto, Kimimaro, Sasuke, just to name a few of the more prominent ones; Anko, too, probably, even though Kishimoto couldn't be bothered to show her abilities properly. Sure, they were also all very talented, but it's not as if talent being wasted by not having the proper instruction isn't a thing that happens much too often. Which is not very nice for the talented person. Right?

…

I'm rambling.

Maybe I should just focus on my task now. Good idea, yup. Who knows, I might even count scientific sketching as part of my skillset at the end of the day. The Sharingan-provided photographic memory is a big help at least and also, focusing on the shape and contents of cells is a rather neat way to push other thoughts out of my head.

Like dead teammates and senseis. Nope, totally not thinking about that.

"You're distracted."

Holy fucking shit.

I whip my head around fast enough to hit myself with my own goddamn hair.

Wasn't he over there just a second ago?

I automatically lean away as he leans closer to have a proper look at my sketches, trying to maintain a distance of at least an arm's length, which proves somewhat difficult – I'm on the desk, since I'm too small to work from a sitting position on a chair, and short of jumping off it, there's not much room for me to avoid physical closeness without appearing super rude which I can't afford because holy shit do I not want to be on his bad side so early on already.

Still, he gives me the heebie-jeebies.

He probably notices.

Umm.

"Not enough details, too focused on prettiness," he says, his distinctive voice clinical.

Well, if that's all. It could be worse.

"This kind of sloppy work gets you killed, in the field and in science both."

Ouch.

"True beauty lies in the absolute attention to detail, in the knowledge of the link between design and function, in the precision of the moment of execution – even if it is a simple reproduction."

Wow, good thing I'm not really a five-year-old. Understanding that would have been pretty hard to do if I were, I think?

He takes the sheet of paper I've been sketching on and –

… incinerates it in his hand.

"Observe. Understand. Be exact. I have no time for someone who doesn't push for excellence."

Without another word, he turns around and goes back to his working station at the far end of the tent.

…

I hate to admit it, but he's right.

Thanks a lot, asshole.

)()()(

One day until my planned departure to Konoha. One day until I can see Obito again. Just one day left.

I can do this. Yes, even this awkward lunch affair.

"So …," Sakumo starts, cautiously observing my every reaction. "How have you been the past couple days?"

Or maybe not.

It's a simple enough question, really, almost trivial, but at the same time, I can practically see all the questions that he's barely stopping himself from asking.

'Why have you been ignoring me? Why are you rejecting my help? Why are you accepting his instead?'

They're all very valid and they all succeed in making me feel really, really guilty. Truth is, the only reason I've not flat out denied him this lunch is because even though facing him now is nearly unbearably awkward, putting it off would just make everything worse and I'm too selfish to let that happen. I can't let the first person who's been genuinely nice to me without expecting something in return slip through my fingers like that. Especially if that person is the father of my baby brother's best friend, whom I also happen to see as my second little brother.

It's almost embarrassing how much I rely on the good graces of two toddlers.

"I mean," Sakumo continues hesitantly after my introspective silence, "I'm glad to see you up and active, of course." The corners of his eyes crinkle softly as he smiles, still tentative. "Just wanted to make sure you're doing alright. Um."

He's trying so hard for me. How can a person in this world be so kind?

I look up at him.

The least I can do in return is to give him an answer.

"I'm …"

An honest answer.

"… not fine. No." A small gasp that sounds like half a chuckle escapes my lips. "But Orochimaru's tasks keep me busy. Thinking about them keeps me from thinking about … anyway, it's better that way."

There's a short pause.

"I see."

Another pause. This one manages to stretch into a small eternity in my head, accentuated by the soundtrack of chopsticks hitting the metal tableware, low murmuring voices in the background and my constant desire to clear my throat, hoping it would clear the awkwardness away as well.

I'm sorry for dragging Sakumo into the Uchiha-preferred mode of communication. I swear, I did not know it had black-hole-like qualities.

"So," Sakumo continues, bravely bridging over said black hole, "what will you do today? Did Orochimaru give you any task before leaving?"

"He did," I answer. "I'm supposed to make a full documentation on that one plant that was discovered on a large rock formation not far from camp. It doesn't grow near Konoha and seems to be promising for healing purposes. It stunts the growth of cells in our chakra paths which would otherwise lead to malignant expansions that eventually render the body unable of chakra usage."

"Ah, that's very important work" Sakumo nods. "How is it going?"

"Well enough, I think. It's something different from day to day ninja business, but I'm still useful. I hope."

"Of course!" He smiles at me, a real, encouraging smile this time – and suddenly, the cords wound around my heart loosen up just a little bit. "It's good for you to see that being a shinobi can have sides other than fighting. And who knows, maybe you'll even come to enjoy it. That would be great, wouldn't it? You could choose what you want to do then."

If the clan ever agrees to me not being a fighter, that is. But I appreciate the sentiment. Also, he looks genuinely enthused.

So I return a small, but just as genuine smile. "Yes, that would be nice."

The following pause is so fundamentally different from the one before that I'm half surprised that there isn't some kind of physical manifestation. The awkwardness has dissipated and instead there's the budding feeling of being able to look forward – the first time since I woke up.

Sakumo is amazing. I am so lucky to have him.

I can't ever lose him.

"Hatake-rikushou?"

A shinobi is standing at the entrance of the tent, waiting for his general to allow him to disrupt his lunch with me. He's blond and baby-faced, a teenager in the middle of puberty, out here and on duty.

Oh god, I hate this war.

Holy cow, what is it with my brain and super dramatic thoughts right now?

"Akamine-kun, something to report?"

I snap my head back to look at Sakumo because whoa he just sounded so different, was that really him? Is that his General-Hatake-voice?

The teen bows. "Hattori-san's report just arrived, rikushou. You wanted to see it as soon as it arrived."

Sakumo nods. "Right." He looks at me regretfully. "I'm sorry to cut this short, Etsuko-chan, but this can't wait."

I stand up quickly and bow down. "No, no, it's alright. Thank you for taking the time. And for being so kind to me, I truly appreciate it."

He smiles. "Any time, Etsuko-chan."

As I head towards the tent flap, I can see Akamine throwing me a curious glance, probably wondering why the general takes time for a tiny dot like me and says stuff like "any time".

Same, Akamine-san, same.

)()()(

I'm finished documenting the plant before Orochimaru comes back from his recon mission with Jiraiya.

I tried being as thorough as possible with it and I hope it's enough to be of help. No matter how small that step, if it leads to even one person being cured from a disease, it will be the best thing I've done in this universe.

All under Orochimaru's supervision.

No, I'm still not over it.

Yes, I know that science is just a tool, a means to an end, and that it depends entirely on whom and with what goal it is wielded, just like almost everything else in mankind's world.

It's just – the thought that this rule even applies to Orochimaru feels strange to me, I guess. That not everything he does and uses is inherently evil just because it's him.

Intent is a game changer indeed.

"Good," Yoshina-san says after finishing her review of my work. I have no idea if she's really pleased with it or just acknowledging the fact that I think I finished it and possibly holding back on telling me what I did wrong, but well – so be it. If there's nothing else to do –

"Do you have any other tasks right now?"

Oh. Looks like I'm getting something new.

I shake my head.

"Good. You can go gather more of the herb you documented today then, while there's still light outside. Do you know where to find it?"

"I know where the location is on the map," I reply cautiously. See, I don't want to lie to her but I also don't want her to know that I'm pretty bad at directions. It's not as bad as in my first life thanks to all the shinobi training, but it's still not something to be proud of, sadly.

"I hope you have it memorized," Yoshina says, completely unfazed. "Go to the Provision Master and request a medicinal storage scroll. The rocks are in Fire Country territory so there shouldn't be any trouble with enemy forces. However, don't let your guard down. Upon contact, avoid fighting if possible and report promptly."

I bow down. "Understood!"

I'm actually glad for the task. I was already afraid I'd be stuck with doing nothing again, but it seems I got lucky.

That doesn't happen very often, these days.

)()()(

The run for the storage scroll is a matter of two minutes. I'm traveling lightly, with only my kunai pouch on my thigh and the scroll pouch at my hip, since I'm supposed to be back within an hour, one and a half at most. I didn't take a map with me, but I did scan one with my Sharingan, for good measure – easy task or not, getting lost so close to the border to Amegakure would be unfortunate.

I arrive at the rock formation without problems and start walking up their steep walls to get to the cracks in which the plants in question grow. The ability to pour chakra out of the soles of my feet is indeed very useful. I can't imagine how stressful it would be to try gathering the herbs only with the help of normal, not-ninja-equipment.

I crouch down – or better, I crouch across, I guess – to reach for a particularly large specimen firmly wedged in a rather small hollow when I hear the unmistakable sound of branches breaking under footfall.

Um.

I wince.

Ok. Shite.

I wish I had thought about securing the area before I realized that my ass is hanging on this rock wall in plain view, which happened just about now.

Why did Yoshina-san even trust me with this.

Someone gasps.

Whoa they're loud. Not stealthy much, eh?

"How do you do that?!" a high-pitched, distinctively childish voice yells.

I finally look down.

From up here, I can't see much except for a tiny face under a shock of bright orange hair and an outstretched arm with a finger pointing straight at me.

I think I can out rule the possibility of that being an enemy nin.

I jump down after pocketing the herb I'd been after in the first place and land two feet away from the kid. A closer look reveals a boy around my physical age, clothed in a shirt that's a bit too small on his thin body and shorts that have seen better days. His face looks too thin, too, but his eyes are sparkling and his mouth is wide open in awe. I'm about to open my mouth and ask him what the hell he's doing here, but he beats me to it.

"This is awesome," he says, voice shaking in excitement. "Teach me how to do that! I wanna do that, too! I can learn!"

Oh no.

He looks so eager.

Boy, you do not want to be a ninja, I promise you.

"You shouldn't be out here alone, you know" I say to him. I want to discourage him from wanting to learn this, true, but he's only a kid after all. It does no one any good to deny a kid some basic kindness. "Are your parents nearby?"

He freezes, the excitement going out of his eyes like an extinguished flame.

Oh no.

"They died," he replies in a monotone voice.

My throat feels tight.

I don't know what to answer.

I don't know how.

I just … don't know.

So we're standing there, two children staring at each other and neither looking away, and although our circumstances are probably vastly different, we're all the same in the things that matter.

They died.

I miss Otou-san and Okaa-chan. I miss Hanako-sensei. I miss Nawaki and Regashi. I miss them so much.

He understands.

I finally look away. "You should go. Find somewhere safe."

The words haven't even left my mouth and I already know they sound hollow.

He exhales. "You belong to them, don't you?"

My focus snaps back to him. His eyes are blazing again, with a fierce determination that is mirrored in his voice and the balled fists on either side of his body.

"If you belong to them, you can fight, too. And if you can learn to fight, then so can I!"

This kid –

"Why?" I hiss, my voice getting progressively louder as emotions boil up from within. "You know, more than anybody, that nothing good ever comes out of fighting! Why would you want to be a part of it?!"

"How else can I fight back?" He yells in return. "How else can I make things better? Protect my friends? Do you think I have a choice?"

There's nothing I can reply to that.

He's right, of course. In this world, choices are a privilege of the strong. Isn't this the same reason I chose to learn how to fight myself?

I close my eyes, breathe, and open them again.

"What's your name?"

"Yahiko," he answers.

Of course.

I'm not even surprised anymore.

"I suppose your friends are somewhere nearby?"

He immediately stiffens up. "How –"

"No need to get all nervous," I say quietly. "Listen. I'm going back to my camp now. In half an hour I'll be back with someone who will teach you. The choice of being here, with or without your friends, is up to you."

He blinks. "Wait, really?"

"Just be prepared for questions."

I turn my back to him.

I have enough herbs anyway and Jiraiya and Orochimaru should be back by now.

The way back is ample time to think about what I want to say to him.

)()()(

"You want me to go to a rock with you?" Jiraiya deadpans.

"Yes. It's a very interesting rock."

I admit, I could have worded that more elegantly, but this is not my most compelling argument anyway. Let me try again.

"There's … um, stuff at that rock the likes you'll never see again!"

He squints at me.

One second passes. Another.

Yeah, I could have done that better, too.

He sighs dramatically. "Ok, I'll bite. What's there that's so interesting?"

Yes!

"I have to show you. If I could just tell you, you wouldn't need to come with me, so please, please come?" I try to channel my inner Obito and hope it works. Judging by the stiffness in my facial muscles, I'm severely out of practice, though. Oh well.

"You sure it's not something you'd rather show Orochimaru?"

Uh no, absolutely not.

"Yes, I'm sure!" Seriously, why is he so reluctant? It's not like I'm asking him to be my teacher or something. I'm just asking him to teach the Ame kids. Not that he knows.

He scratches the back of his head. Sighs. "Alright, alright, I'll go with you. Not today, though, I'm pretty beat already."

Oh for fuck's sake!

"Or do I sense an objection?"

I could swear that he's doing this on purpose. Is he doing this on purpose? What's his goal? Is this some kind of test? What's he testing a five-year-old for?

Hah.

You're not the only one who can play games, Jiraiya.

"Oh, ok," I say, markedly nonchalant. "I understand. It's not as if the fulfilment of some kind of prophecy is depending on that rock, haha."

The effect is instantaneous.

His eyes widen almost comically and the entirety of his hulking body goes eerily still.

He gulps. "Could you … could you say that again?" His voice suddenly sounds so hoarse.

"Uh … it's ok, I understand?" I know that's not the part he wanted to hear but if there ever was a time to play dumb, it's now.

He looks at me, hard.

Keep breathing.

He doesn't ask again.

The tension disappears from his posture as if it's never been there in the first place. He yawns dramatically. "Nah, a short walk will do me some good. I'm feeling stiff as a board having spent so much time with that bore of a teammate."

Phew. I almost can't believe it but I done did it.

"Great!" I throw him a brilliant smile. Isn't it easy to make a simple child like me happy?

"Let's hurry," he says, now grinning brightly himself. "I have to admit, I can't remember the last time I was so curious."

I nod in agreement.

Everything's set. The only thing that could go wrong now would be if the Ame trio didn't show up. Which would be super embarrassing, among other things.

Ugh.

Please show up.

)()()(

Jiraiya slows down to a jog a few hundred feet before we arrive at the rocks. "Someone's there," he says. "I don't think they're dangerous, but it might be a good idea to wait until they're gone."

Shit. I should have anticipated that he would sense them before we actually arrive there.

Well. It's not as if me baiting him with the child of prophecy hasn't already made him at least a little suspicious, so there's no use in holding back now.

"It's alright," I tell him. "We can go there anyway."

He eyes me with an unreadable expression but doesn't comment further. I'm sure a future interrogation is unavoidable at this point, but I'm done playing around anyway.

Orochimaru was right, again. If I want change, I have to be the one to initiate it.

And with that, we enter the scene.

Good news: Yahiko is waiting at the rock, just as promised.

More good news: he's brought Konan and Nagato, too.

Goddammit yes, it's high time this time elasticity thingie works in my favor for a change.

The three are standing closely together, tightly clutching each other's hands, expressions on their tiny faces set in various degrees of anxious anticipation.

"You really came!" Yahiko pipes up upon seeing Jiraiya and me approach. He immediately turns towards his friends. "See, told ya she would. We're going to learn how to fight for sure!"

Konan and Nagato nod timidly, their eyes nervously following every movement Jiraiya and I make.

Speaking of.

Jiraiya looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "You promised them what exactly?"

I exhale. Here we go.

"They're all orphans, Jirariya-san. They have nobody to protect them, to rely on. They only have themselves, but they can't survive if they don't have any guidance. So I promised them a teacher."

Jiraiya cuts me off before I can continue. "Oi, brat, you can't walk around promising stuff like that without asking first!"

I shut up immediately.

He sounds a bit mad.

Ah.

This is bad.

He sighs and turns towards the Ame kids. "What are your names?" he asks gruffly.

Yahiko goes first, no surprise there. "I'm Yahiko!" he announces, a touch of desperation at the edge of his voice. He's probably afraid that they're going to end up abandoned again.

I am afraid for them, too. Nagato's Rinnegan is my last hope.

The girl of the trio follows suit with her introduction. "Konan," she says quietly.

Nagato can barely get his name past his lips. "Na-Nagato." He's looking at his feet, his hair effectively blocking his eyes.

That's not enough.

What do I do? Should I just ask him to look at Jiraiya directly? Expose my knowledge of his doujutsu like that?

This would be a risk on a completely different scale from before, though. While everything up to now could be explained away with me being naively compassionate towards the plight of children my own age, this – this would reveal that I know stuff I'm not supposed to have any knowledge about.

"Alright," Jiraiya says. There's a tiny pause in which I think I hear a quietly muttered 'shit'. "Listen, Yahiko, Konan and Nagato. I cannot teach you." His voice is firm but gentle, set on making the rejection as painless as possible. "You're still young and the most important –"

"We can learn!" Yahiko interrupts him, his voice full on desperate this time. He falls on his knees, with hands outstretched and begging. "I promise, we will do anything you want us to, we will work hard and you won't even notice that we're little! We will be like her, I promise!" He points at me. "Please, Jiraiya-sama, please, you must teach us! You owe us, for our homes, for our parents and siblings!"

Konan gasps loudly and covers her mouth with her hands.

Nagato is shocked into action as well. "Yahiko!" he exclaims and throws himself at his friend. His gaze is frantic as he directs it at us. "Please, don't get mad, my friend didn't mean it like that. Please don't hurt him!"

His hair has fallen aside, finally leaving the view on his Rinnegan unobstructed.

Omg, YES!

For the second time today, I witness Jiraiya's eyes going wide in shock.

He clears his throat.

"Stand up, boys."

Yahiko and Nagato hesitantly do as commanded. Konan steps up to their side again, reaching for Yahiko's hand.

Next Jiraiya turns towards me and motions towards a spot a few feet away.

Um? Ok?

We're out of earshot by then, but he still lowers his voice to barely above a whisper. He looks very serious.

"I've come to a decision concerning those three, but before I tell them, I want to ask you one thing." He leans in really, really close.

Umm.

"Instead of going through all this trouble, you could have eliminated them. It would be a kindness compared to the harsh life of an orphaned shinobi in training, don't you think?"

What.

"You … you mean killing them?" I stutter.

How could he even ask this question?!

Jiraiya's eyes are steely. "Of course. I think I was quite clear, was I not?"

I can't even –

"You might not feel troubled making such a decision," I hiss, "and maybe I'm naïve for not even thinking about it. But if killing kids is what we routinely resort to just because it's more convenient, then we are nothing short of trash. I can't accept that. I want to believe that Konoha shinobi are better than that! I want to believe that we're people, not killing machines!"

My head is pounding.

"We have to be."

I am completely out of breath.

I – that question makes me so, so angry. The failure of protecting the people I care about has already dyed my hands red. I wouldn't survive dunking them into the thick liquid of murderous intent. Against kids.

Without any advance warning, Jiraiya moves.

His hand comes to rest on the top of my head and stays there for a few seconds. His face has taken on a softer expression.

Abruptly, he turns around and walks back to the Ame trio.

Hey – what?

My own hand goes up to the spot where the weight of his has left an imprint that radiates warmth still. It echoes back to the warmth from before, a feeling I've missed ever since the after. It says, more than anything else, that it's okay. It's okay to go on.

I close my eyes briefly and breathe.

I should listen to what he has to say to the Ame kids.

"You have guts, I give you that." Jiraiya crouches down to talk to them at eye level. "How about this: I take you with me to camp and you show me in the next couple days what you can do. I decide if I want to teach you after that. Deal?"

Their relief is almost physically noticeable.

"Yes, Jiraiya-sama!" they yell in unison.

Jiraiya chuckles.

As for me?

It's probably the understatement of the year to say that my knees are a bit weak. But maybe, just maybe, this is the beginning of a new future. The beginning of me finally being able to look forward and move on.

Maybe I did do a good job today.

Btw, thanks for participating in the poll, too! I'm leaving it there for all of you who haven't answered yet and still wish to do so, I'm enjoying the answers immensely!