*Third Person's POV*
"I... I have to tell you something," Peter said nervously looking at everyone.
They were all in their office, in the attic.
"What is it, Wormtail? Planning to get married?" Sirius asked not taking his eyes off the new toy he's making.
"Umm... It's about work," he replied.
"What is it?" James asked.
"They want me to move," Peter said.
They all stopped what they were doing and looked at him.
"What?" Lily raised her eyebrows.
"They want me to move to Northern Europe."
"Northern Europe? Why?" Remus asked.
"Because it's his job that's why," Sirius scoffed. "He works in the International Magical office of Law. But the question is..." He frowned.
"Why do they want you to move all of a sudden?" James finished for him.
"Yeah. There are whispers about a group of dark wizards and witches," Peter replied.
"And?"
"They wanted spies and Dumbledore suggested me... I guess," Peter shrugged.
"Yeah. Because Voldy's gone and we are done here?" Sirius drawled.
"But we still got his followers roaming around!" Lily said exasperated.
"Exactly my point. The Longbottoms and the Prewetts were attacked last year."
"But the culprits are caught though," Sirius shrugged. "The Lestranges, Dolohov, Travers, Carrows, Avery... almost all the death eaters are rotting in Azkaban now."
"Except few," Lily mumbled. "Few are walking free and many are still on the run."
"Do they... Do they think it might be them?" Remus frowned.
"I guess," Peter shrugged.
"So, when are you moving?" Sirius asked.
"I... I told them I'd think about it," Peter replied. "I wanted to know what your think."
"What?!" James exclaimed. "Wormtail, it's your life, mate. You should go with your heart."
"Yeah. But you are my friends. We're all living together for years and we've been through a lot. And...and we're almost living away from the wizarding world. I.. I thought this would be a big thing," Peter replied.
"Of course it's a big thing. But Wormtail, if you think it's the right thing to do... If you think you can do it... Go for it," James smiled.
"Of course he can!" Lily said. "He's a brave marauder after all! He captured few death eaters."
Peter blushed.
"I'm sorry," Lily said sadly. "It's because of us that you three are stuck here. In a forest. In hiding. Without a normal... free life."
"Lily, we chose this," Peter said. "We're friends. We stick together."
"We couldn't just leave you three Potters alone, could we?" Sirius smirked. "You'd be lost without us."
They all chuckled.
"Besides, there's nothing lost," Sirius added. "We have our own jobs and business...
"I think we all should go for something more better," Remus said. "Things have calmed down in Britain. We are free...for a while."
"Harry will be attending Hogwarts in two years and then we could just move back...home," James said.
"Home," Sirius mumbled.
"Wha...what?? I thought it was your idea to move back there?" James look bewildered.
"No...no...I mean yes," Sirius nodded. "I want to move back there. It's just... I miss... home. That's all."
The others shared quick glances.
"Are you sure you don't want to go back to Godric's Hollow?" Sirius asked.
"No," James said without missing a beat. "I don't want to go back to the manor either. But you said you'd like to go back. And I think it's high time we did. Harry would know it when the moment he starts school."
"A story from the world. He needs to know the real story," Sirius urged.
"Yes. But only when he's ready. We'll take him to Godric's Hollow then."
"And..." Lily looked at Sirius nervously.
"And?" He raised his eyebrows.
"And I think you should stop sneaking to Godric's Hollow," Remus said sternly.
Sirius clenched his jaw. "I can't stop."
On that terrible night, Voldemort met his downfall at the Potter's Cottage in Godric's Hollow. A part of the cottage was destroyed and Sirius lost her that night.
Sirius spent weeks alone sulking in the destroyed cottage. Grieving. Then he was gone for few months. Away from people. Away from memories.
But the thing is, he didn't cry. He never did. He always turned to Padfoot when the pain got unbearable and howled. Howled for hours. Even after all these years, he never cried. Not even once. And that's what troubled the others... Sirius bottling up emotions.
"Why don't you boys go out for a run?" Lily suggested.
"Yeah, run... because it's full moon," Remus rolled his eyes.
"Moony, get your lazy arse off the couch. And boys, get out," Lily said walking out of the room.
After about two hours, the four boys were almost wasted in a Muggle bar in Bristol.
Sirius was the only guy in the gang who wouldn't get wasted easily. Next was James and Remus. And three shots of tequila is enough to knock out Peter.
Now, their table was full of several empty alcohol bottles, glasses and desserts. Peter was unconscious.
"Padfoot, 10 o'clock," Remus drawled. "That woman is checking you out. I think... I think you should buy her a drink?"
"Nah!" Sirius waved his arm dismissively. "I'm good. Anyway I've noticed her trying to eat me with her eyes. Not my type."
"Padfoot, please move on, mate!" James said with heavy eyes.
Sirius smiled.
"No. Not that sad smile again!" Remus exclaimed.
"You can talk to us about anything you know?" James said.
Sirius nodded.
"It's...it's okay to be sad," Remus said.
"It's okay to be broken," James added.
"You don't have to bottle up everything," Remus said looking into his eyes.
"You can tell us," James said.
Silence filled the table.
Sirius opened and closed his mouth several times.
"Take your time," James nodded.
Sirius blinked several times. He gulped down some scotch. He looked around and fixed his eyes on his glass.
"Do...do you remember the time I was gone for a couple of months? About like three months after she was gone?" He asked at last.
"Yeah," James and Remus nodded.
"Before I was gone, I had this weird dream," he said looking at them at last. "It wasn't like a normal dream. It felt so real. I still think believe it wasn't a dream."
"What...what was the dream?" James asked.
"I...it...it might sound crazy...but... I saw her... She was there...on a cliff...just staring into the space...then she said..." He gulped. He rubbed his eyes and chuckled.
"What did she say?" James asked.
Sirius sighed and tilted his head. "Well, she said... 'Sirius, I... I know this is weird...I know it sounds crazy...but I wanna tell you something. I'm..' " Sirius gulped. " 'I'm... pregnant. I'm going to be a mother and you're going to be a father', and she chuckled. 'Can you believe it?' she scoffed. 'Sirius, we're pregnant. We're going to have a baby... But...don't worry... I know you don't want this. This baby... parenting and all crap... I'm not ready either. I'm not a mother material! I... I don't think I can do this... But...but I'll have the baby... It's ours. I love you. I miss you'," Sirius finished looking at his brothers with a fake smile.
James and Remus looked at him dumbstruck. Because tears were streaming down his face. Sirius never cried. But now...the tears won't stop. His chest rose and fell. His breath quickened. He felt suffocated. He was losing control.
"Padfoot!!!" James and Remus shouted.
"Calm down, mate!" James said holding his arms.
"Padfoot, it's just a panic attack. It's okay. You're good. Calm down... breath," Remus rubbed his back.
"It...it was just a dream, mate," James said calmly. "Just a dream." Sirius could sense pain in James' voice.
"How...how could she think that...that I wouldn't want the baby? My baby! Our baby!" Sirius cried.
"Padfoot, it was just a dream! It wasn't real. It can't be...She is gone," Remus tried to reason.
"She... she can't be gone," Sirius shook his head.
"Padfoot..." James said calmly. He didn't know what to do. He never saw Sirius cry like this. Except on the day he ran away from his abusive parents. It was midnight when they heard lound bangs. He ran downstairs and opened the door to find Sirius, lying on the porch, covered in blood and gasping for air. Sirius cried that night. But it was anger. Wet anger.
But now, it was different. Sirius is broken. It's been almost seven years. He knew he should do something for his brother.
"Padfoot," James said calmly. "Mate, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I should've done something... We should've done something... But... She's gone, mate. She's gone... It.. it was just a dream... Do you think she'd be happy to see you like this?"
"I...I...went to search for her. I've searched everywhere... Every nook and corner of the United Kingdom... I didn't find her..." Sirius continued.
"Sirius... It was just a dream," Remus said calmly. "If she was alive, wouldn't she come home? Wouldn't she come back to us? To her family? To you?"
"I should've been there with her that night... I should... I... I..." He rubbed his forehead. "I want to find where Voldemort is and bring him back to life and tear his throat off!" He screamed.
Peter woke up with a start. "What?! What happened?" He asked confused.
People turned to them.
"I.. I think we should leave," Remus said.
They paid the bill and got out of the pub.
They carefully apparated to a hill top and lay on the ground.
"Now...let everything out," Remus said.
Sirius stared into the dark sky. He gave the tears a free pass. He didn't resist. He cried. For a very long time.
Remus and James kept squeezing his hand and rubbing his back. After a while, "We... We could've been married... That dream... It felt so real... I... I'd give anything to get her back..." His voice broke. "We...we were soul mates. When I met her... She found parts of me I didn't know existed. In her I found the purest love...
She was a girl who never really cared about the way she looked. She got that messy hair... She'd steal your t-shirts and would never miss an opportunity to kiss at the most unexpected moments.
She was a girl who'd make snow angels, snowmen and igloos at midnight...also would cakes and pies...make tea. She'd make you laugh so hard you'd snort your tea out your nose...
She cared so much that she'd tell something is wrong just by looking into your eyes and the way you smile...
She'd wrap her arms around you for no reason and would always kiss with passion...and would pay attention to you when you talk about the things you love... even if she doesn't love them herself...
She always looked like a lazy Sunday afternoon rather than a Saturday night.
Though she was a clean freak she never had a problem with getting little grease on her hands.
So wild and sweet...
Do you... Do you know why I can't get along with other women?" He asked.
"Why?" They three asked.
"Because I'm addicted to her... She was like a drug... She was is and will always be my personal drug. Like my own brand of heroin or chocolate."
"Did you...did you just quote the vampire bloke?" Remus asked bewildered.
"You know, we shouldn't have supported her when she went rogue..or she would've been with us now," Peter interrupted.
"And there... goes the moment," Remus mumbled.
"Thanks, Wormtail," Sirius glared at him.
"Sorry," Peter mumbled still drunk. "But... don't you agree? It was a disaster!" He drawled.
"Shut up before I kill you, Wormtail," Sirius growled. "This is why I don't say anything to you. You always destroy the mood!"
"Yeah...the sad and angry...smad...sangry...surious mood!" James patted on his shoulder. "What are friends for?" He smirked.
"I should've been there with her," Sirius mumbled and turned back to the sky.
They lay in the ground, in silence staring at the sky for God knows how long, crying in silence. All the four boys, staring at the beautiful sky and silently crying.
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