AN- Again thank you for the reviews. They honestly mean so much. I managed to get some rest in thank god but I'm still exhausted. The life of a nurse, but I love it!
I really need some leave from work so I can finish this story. I feel so bad making you guys wait for updates!
DISCLAIMER – Richelle Mead owns VA.
Chapter 14 – The Midnight Sun
I settled into bed and quickly dozed off to sleep. A little more than an hour later I awoke disorientated. I searched the bed with my hand, and it wasn't until a minute later,I realised I was back in my academy dorm and Dimitri wasn't with me.
I felt lonely without him by my side. I only spent two nights with him, but I felt cold without his warm body to curl into. I laid there in my bed staring at the ceiling for an age hoping sleep would take me again, but I just couldn't switch off. I missed him. I missed the safety his body provided me.
I kept tossing and turning for a little while longer, willing myself to fall asleep. My body was tired. I'd been up so long with switching back to the vampire timetable, but my mind wouldn't switch off. It kept going over everything that had happened these last few days, the attack, then Dimitri confessing his love for me and everything that's happened since. After another 30 minutes I decided I would sneak out for a run. Even though I hated running, I hoped it would help clear my mind enough for it to switch off and let me sleep. I quickly changed into some workout gear and went over to my window.
I'd snuck out of my window many times before me and Lissa had ran away. Back then I was on the second floor. Now I was on the third. Lucky for me my window had a ledge and all I had to do was lower myself down and I would land, hopefully, on the second-floor ledge below. Allowing me to then jump onto the side building and lower myself to the ground. Easy enough right?
I climbed through my window and slowly lowered myself, so I was hanging from my window ledge. I was too short, and I knew I would have to drop to the ledge below which was about another foot. I just hoped I would make it. Taking a deep breath, I released my hands and I dropped to the ledge below. Luck was on my side and the occupant of the room below mine had their window open. I lost my footing slightly but was able to grab the inside of their window to steady myself. Once I was safe, I quickly jumped onto the side building and then to the safety of the ground. I had no idea how I was going to manage the climb back up, I should have probably thought about that before.
I checked the surrounding area for any guardians on patrol. It was daylight now so I would be easily seen. I headed towards the woods behind the dhampir dorms and started running within the tree line to camouflage myself from view. I stayed dear the dorms, only running in the same large area, after 20 minutes I decided to head to the clearing within the trees to soak up some sun. I wondered through the woods again, I knew the clearing was around here. Me, Mason and Eddie use to come here all the time in summer break to soak up the rays. Luckily during summer, the academy switched to a daylight schedule as it was mostly dhampir who stayed on campus.
As I entered the clearing, it was exactly how I remembered it. A large green area, in the summer it had flowers sprouting from the ground but now it looked a little dead and sad looking. There was a thin layer of snow on the ground and now I had stopped running I noticed just how cold it was. I pulled my jacket around my sides trying to stay warm and wondered over to the only rock. Sitting down and just staring upwards, soaking in the rays of the sun.
A little while later I heard a crack of wood behind me, I was instantly on alert and spun to face the threat and raised my arms in a defensive position. After being involved in what I had recently I'm pretty sure it was normal to think worst case scenario even if we were protected from wards. I knew that wouldn't stop Strigoi anymore though. My eyes quickly adjusted to my attacker and I instantly relaxed. It was Celeste. Shit I was going to get in trouble.
''Rose? It's past curfew. You shouldn't be out here.'' She said.
''I know. I couldn't sleep so thought a run would help me. I just stopped here to catch my breath and was about the head back.'' I muttered in explanation.
''Haven't you been up for hours? You got back this morning after travelling five hours. Surely you should be tired. I know Guardian Belikov was earlier when I saw him. I took his longer shift so he could rest.'' As soon as she mentioned Dimitri my heart clenched then sunk when she said this was meant to be his shift. That meant he would have been the one to find me instead of Celeste.
''I am tired, I got about an hour sleep then couldn't get back to sleep. My mind won't shut off long enough for me to sleep.'' I replied.
''What's on your mind?'' She asked as she came and sat down on the rock, I was near, she patted the side of her, telling me to sit as well. I sat next to her again. I looked at her, fear seeping in. No way could I tell her what was on my mind. That because I'd spent the last two nights sleeping next to Dimitri I now couldn't sleep on my own. It was two nights for crying out loud. When did I become such a needy person who craved attention and affection? She must have seen the fear in my eyes as she continued without waiting for an answer. ''If it's about what's going on with Belikov I already know. Or at least suspect something. It's obvious to anyone who sees you two together and knows how it feels to have to hide their feelings for someone.'' She mumbled the last part so low that I struggled to hear her properly. She got a far off look in her eyes as if she was somewhere else entirely.
''So, I'm taking that as you've had someone special in your life and that you had to hide it from everyone?'' I asked, I knew I'd also basically admitted to having an illegal relationship with my mentor, but I wasn't sure Celeste would pick up on that, considering the look on her face.
''Uh… N... We aren't talking about me right now.'' She stuttered.
''Oh, come on. You tell me, I'll tell you. As long as you promise not to report it...'' I muttered as an add on. Yeah, I definitely just admitted it. I needed to practice my poker face. I wouldn't tell her anything unless she promised not to tell anyone, I wouldn't risk Dimitri's job.
''Promise, and anyway, I've suspected something was going on since Vasilisa was kidnapped. You two were acting strange that night.'' She said a suspecting tone in her voice.
''Yeah, we aren't talking about that. No way.'' I said. No way was I ever speaking about that with anyone other than Dimitri. I didn't regret it, but I would never tell anyone about it, it could cause issues even though it was the charm. ''Anyway, back to you.'' I said.
''Ugh. Fine. You play a hard bargain Novice.'' Celeste said, nudging my shoulder. ''There was someone I liked a while ago. I still don't know if he felt the same, but I think he did. I didn't act on it because I didn't have the confidence I have now, I didn't know myself as well as I do now. So, my advice to you. If there is something going on, even the potential, don't try and fight it.'' She said, I grinned at her.
''Is that all I'm getting?'' She nodded. ''Fine.'' I rolled my eyes. ''You are right though. Although you are telling the wrong person to not fight it. I did fight it at one point, when I didn't know he felt the same. But when I found out he did or thought he did, I didn't even try and fight it. He was the one fighting it. Although he has owned up to it now.'' I said, smiling.
Celeste smiled back. ''So, what's the real reason you can't sleep?'' she questioned.
''It's silly honestly.'' I mumbled. She looked at me pointedly, so I continued. ''So, you know we had to spend a few nights away in a B&B?'' I started, she nodded. It felt so good to talk to someone about this. Especially that someone being another girl. I'd always found Celeste easy to talk to. ''Nothing happened but we ended up... sharing a bed. It felt nice sleeping next to him for two nights that now I can't sleep. It was only two nights and I sound like such a needy teenager because the guy I love can't sleep in the same bed as me. Ugh what is happening to me?!'' I whined. I realised too late I'd also just owned up to loving him, I also realised, he'd told me he loved me multiple times whereas I had only said it once.
''We all need a little comfort from time to time. After what you've been through these past few weeks, I think you would need a hell of a lot.'' Oh, how little she actually knew, and she was saying that. She reached behind her and pulled out her walkie talkie, pressed a button at the side and spoke directly into the microphone. ''Can we switch? I'm in the clearing behind the dhampir dorms.'' I didn't hear the response; she must be wearing an earpiece. ''I'll meet you here.'' She replied, returning the walkie-talkie to its holster on her back. Then she looked at me and smiled. ''I can't tell you it will get easier, but you need to try and sleep alone. Maybe ask for one of his t-shirts? That might help?'' I'd never even thought of that. I put that away in my head to ask him at training later if I could have one of his t-shirts. Hopefully he would understand. I suddenly realised she had asked to swap with someone. If someone was coming here, I needed to get out of here. She might not report me. But whoever was coming surely would.
''Ugh. I should get going. If someone is coming to swap with you. I can't be here. I'm hoping you aren't going to report me for being out after curfew?'' I asked with hope in my eyes.
''No, I'm not. And the person coming wont report you either.'' She confidently said. I doubted that. Unless. Unless it was Dimitri coming. But it couldn't. She was doing his shift for him; she'd said he was resting. I saw her get a glint in her eye, like she was hiding something. ''Trust me'' She said. I nodded. At that I heard the tell-tale sound of branches breaking underneath someones feet and turned towards the sound. As the person broke through the trees, I couldn't believe my eyes.
''Comrade?'' I asked, a small smile spreading across my face.
''Rose? What are you doing out here? It's past curfew.'' He asked, disapproval clear in his voice. He eyed Celeste curiously. ''I'll sort this Matthews.'' He said in her direction. Authority clear in his voice. I giggled. Yeah, what is wrong with me?
''Belikov, you really think if I was going to report her, I would have called you?'' Celeste asked. He raised an eyebrow at her in silent question. ''I'll leave you two to it.''
I decided it was my turn to speak up. ''She knows Comrade.'' I said sheepishly. He turned to looked at me with an eyebrow raised even higher. I nodded, he then turned back to Celeste, fear clear in his eyes, mask completely down.
''Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.'' Celeste reassured him.
''Why?'' Dimitri asked. Oh, wrong question.
''Because when two people love each other who am I to stand in their way. She graduates this year so as long as you keep it quiet until then I will too.'' She said, I knew what she wasn't saying. She wanted to give us the chance she never got. I was sad for her. She deserved the happiness we felt. ''And anyway, you'll have more challenges to overcome so if I can make it even a little easier I will. A lot of people with disapprove and judge this relationship.'' She said matter-of-factly. We knew this. We knew the Moroi world would disapprove. Not just because we were mentor and student but because we are both guardians, and guardians were meant to put there charge first
''Thank you.'' Dimitri said earnestly. ''But that doesn't explain why you are out after curfew?'' He turned to me and asked. I shrugged, not wanting to own up to missing him so much.
''I couldn't sleep.'' I mumbled.
''I find that hard to believe. You can always sleep. Hell, your always late to practice because you overslept.'' he jokingly replied.
''Just tell him.'' Celeste whispered in my ear. ''Right I'm off. Tell me when you're ready to swap again.'' She said to Dimitri.
''Wait.'' I said and Celeste turned to face me. ''You said you swapped shifts with Dimitri. Why is he working?'' I asked. I didn't really care who answered me, but I was looking towards Celeste.
''I did. I was on the short shift tonight, but I could see Dimitri was dead on his feet, so I told him I'd take the longer shift. His shift finishes in about 30 minutes. Whereas mine doesn't finish until 2pm.'' She said. I was suddenly glad she had swapped with him; he would have been awake for over 24 hours that way. I was fairly sure he hadn't slept in the car. With that Celeste turned and headed into the treeline. I stared at Dimitri, not sure what he was going to do. He came and sat beside me on the rock.
''So, why can't you sleep?'' He asked in a gentle voice. I looked down at my hands and fidgeted slightly. I really didn't want to say it. ''Roza, tell me.'' He said, grabbing my hands to stop me fidgeting. I looked up into his big brown eyes, so full of love I couldn't not tell him.
''I miss you.'' I mumbled. ''It's not even been a day and I miss you. I miss sleeping next to you. I got an hour sleep then woke up searching for you, but you weren't there.'' I whined. I took a deep breath and asked my next question, the thing Celeste suggested. ''Celeste suggested I ask for one of your t-shirts. It's a poor substitute to the real thing but I know I can't have that. The last two nights I slept so well and now I can't sleep. I'm sorry, I sound so needy right now.'' I sighed. He pulled me into his side and kissed my hair.
''No, you don't. I actually find it cute and adorable you can't sleep without me. If you want one of my shirts, I'll get you one. I'll bring it to practice tomorrow. But for now, we need to get back to your room before someone else spots you.'' He said, I nodded. We both stood. I expected him to let me go but he didn't, he kept me close to his side as we walked into the treeline heading back to the dorms. ''And you don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed about telling me these things. I miss you too. We've just spent three whole days together and now we only get to see each other at training or in classes. Of course, I'm going to miss you. I haven't even tried sleeping yet and I already suspect I'll be the same as you. All I want to do is hold you and never let you go.'' He said, stopping still and turning me to look at him.
''But you can't. Not until graduation.'' I said sadly, finishing his unspoken thought.
''Well, yes and no. I did say we would have some moments just us.'' He mumbled and leaned down and captured my lips with his. I rejoiced in the feel of his lips on mine. I knew it hadn't been that long since I'd jumped him in the gym, but it felt like a lifetime. I was also glad I wasn't initiating the kiss for once. At the B&B we were always touching and never went long without a little kiss here and there. My body melted into his embrace. The kiss started out slow and loving but soon started to pick up intensity. All too soon he pulled away, I saw a fire burning in his eyes and the self-control it took to pull away. ''I miss you more than I thought was humanly possible to miss someone. Never forget that. Now let's go.'' He looked like he didn't want to go anywhere. In actual fact he really looked like he was fighting with himself. He actually looked pained by his decision. I chuckled. There was no way we were making it too graduation. Something had to give, I knew it and by the side glances he was giving me he knew it too.
We headed further into the trees, he never once let me go. As we approached the outer line of the trees, he pulled us to a stop, I turned to face him, both eyebrows raised. He just looked at me and raised his hand towards my cheek stroking softly. Then he dropped his hand to his side and took a step into the daylight.
He took me around the back of the dorms and used a key to open the back door. Then led me through the back of the dorms up the stairs, bypassing the dorm matron completely. We eventually made it to my floor, and we stood outside my door. I opened my own door and took a step inside. I turned to face him, not wanting to let him go. I just wanted to stay stood here for the entire night staring at him. Who needed sleep anyway? Just as I thought that I yawned.
''Come on. In bed.'' He said, taking a step into my room and pushing me towards the bed. I gave him a cheeky look. ''Just you.'' He clarified, shaking his head. I pouted.
''Fine. I'll get you in my bed somehow.'' I said cheekily. He groaned. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers around myself. It was weird thinking Dimitri was basically tucking me in for the night. I felt like such a kid right then. He came and sat on the edge of my bed and stroked my cheek again.
''Sleep Roza. You need to sleep. It's only a few more months and we won't have to spend another night apart.'' He mumbled in a soothing voice.
''Promise?'' I asked. I knew it wasn't going to happen. I knew we couldn't be together all the time when I graduated. We had Lissa to protect. We really did need to talk about everything properly where we wouldn't get distracted. We had no idea how this was actually going to work. All his reasons for us staying apart were still valid reasons. I sighed quietly, his soft caresses on my cheek lulling me into sleep.
Just before sleep took me, I heard his soft whisper ''Promise'' and I felt his lips brush against mine.
I awoke to my alarm blaring out the following morning and I was way too hot. I was sweating I was that hot. I was overcome by the smell that could only be Dimitri and my heart sored. He stayed? I opened my eyes to turn my alarm off and then gazed around my surrounding area to find the bed empty. So, he wasn't here. But then why could I smell him?
I stretched my arms out and rested them on top of the duvet. Or what should have been the duvet. What I felt beneath my hands was leather. I looked down and realised why I was so hot and why my senses were overflowing with the smell of Dimitri. He had left his beloved leather duster with me. I smiled as I stroked the leather and my heart filled with love.
I jumped out of bed and got ready for my training. I went to put his duster on but thought better of it. For two reasons. One being once I put it on, I noticed just how long it was, it would drag along the floor. Two, if someone saw me with it on it would raise too many questions. So, I folded it neatly and placed it in my gym bag. I half hoped he wouldn't ask for it back, but I knew he would be lost without it, which is why him leaving it with me was so surprising.
I headed out and made my way to the gym. As I stepped through the first doors an idea popped into my head. I quickly grabbed his duster from my bag and wrapped it around myself and entered. He was sat in the corner reading his western, waiting for me. He looked different without his duster on. He usually always had it on before we started training.
''Morning Comrade.'' I called to him as the door swung shut behind me. He lifted his head as he slid a bookmark into his book and placed it next to him. He eyes swiped the full length of my body and darkened slightly. I grinned at him.
''Good morning Roza. I really hope you didn't wear that across campus. Someone could have seen you.'' He said disapprovingly. I giggled.
''No no. I put it on just outside. Plus, its seriously long and I would have scrapped all the bottom and then you'd never let me borrow it again. Thank you.'' I said.
''Well you needed to sleep.'' He said in a way of explanation.
''But weren't you cold for the rest of the shift? I understand why you like this so much; I woke up and I was roasting.'' I said, hugging his duster a little tighter around myself.
''No. I finished my shift then came back to your room before I went back to mine. You were still fast asleep but not resting. As soon as I laid my duster over you. You relaxed.'' He said as he walked over to his bag. ''Here. Ill trade you.'' He said as he handed me a shirt as promised last night.
''But I like the duster.'' I said, pulling it even tighter around my body.
''Roza, you aren't keeping it.'' He said sternly and took a step closer to me like a predator stalking his prey.
I sighed. ''I know. It's just so warm and smells like you.'' I mumbled, taking in a big breath.
''And so will this shirt. I slept in it last night.'' He said. At that I quickly took the shirt out of his hand and gave him back his duster. He chuckled at my response. If he'd slept in this last night, I think it was a fair trade.
''Thanks for this. You didn't have to do any of this.'' I said.
''Yes, I did. If I can help you sleep I will. Now what where you dreaming of last night? When I got back you were whimpering.'' He asked, face stern.
''nothing.'' I evaded.
''Roza, no secrets remember.'' He replied.
I sighed. ''Fine, I was dreaming about Natalie again. I knew I didn't have a choice in what I did. I know I had to kill her to protect everyone here, but it doesn't make it easier.'' I sighed again.
''I know it doesn't. It is never easy taking a life. Especially someone you have known before. All you can do is talk about it with people you know can understand.'' He said. I nodded.
''It was weird though. I didn't have the dreams when I was with you. And last night the dream just cut off part way through.'' I said confused. ''Maybe that's when you came and put your duster on me? Maybe you keep the bad dreams away?'' I could hear how hopeful I sounded. I knew the possibility of me dreaming about what happened at the Badicas was a real possibility and I didn't really want to relieve that again like I do Natalie.
''Maybe. You did calm down quickly as soon as I laid it over you. And your face relaxed. You looked so cute.'' He smiled at me. I loved this carefree Dimitri. I loved when he let his walls down around me.
''Maybe I just need to sleep with you all the time.'' I mumbled, then I remembered my promise from yesterday, that I would try and make it easier for him, I nearly face palmed myself. ''Sorry.'' I muttered. ''How did you sleep?'' I asked.
''Not as good as the past two nights that's for sure. Maybe I need one of your shirts.'' He replied with a smile.
''I'm sure I can sort that. But I hate to break it to you comrade, you won't fit in my shirts.'' I chuckled.
He smiled his glorious smile. ''You don't have to do that.''
''You did it for me, it's the least I can do. I'll get one and bring it later.'' I replied with a shrug. It really was the least I could do. If it was going to help him sleep, I'd do anything.
He nodded in response; his smile still plastered on his face ''Right we should probably train. Let's do some stretches and get straight to sparring. We need to learn how to do that again.'' The implication was clear in his voice. We needed to learn to spar without wanting to rip each other's clothes off. I chuckled but started my stretches.
As I headed towards to cafeteria after training my mind wondered back to training. We had only one slip up this morning and it was completely my fault. I had pinned Dimitri to the ground and was straddling him, I felt him twitch beneath me which caused an automatic reaction from my own body and I grinded myself down onto him. Which made the whole situation so much worst. Without any warning Dimitri flipped us, pushing me into the ground with his hips. Luckily, he had a little more self-control than me and staked me, but it still didn't stop him from kissing me after he killed me. We really needed to get a handle on it, especially in training.
I wondered if it would be an idea to ask if Celeste could join us, maybe that would limit how affectionate we were during training. We were never overly affectionate around Art. We didn't want to rub it in his face since he had already given us so much by not reporting us.
I pushed that thought to the back of my head to ask Dimitri about it later. I quickly grabbed my breakfast and made my way over to my friends. Lissa, Christian, Eddie and to my surprise Mason we all already sat at the table. I was surprised to see Mason sat there. I would have thought he would want to avoid me.
They were all talking amongst themselves and didn't even look up when I set my tray down. I started eating and tried to follow the conversation. They were talking excitedly about something, but I had no idea what was going on. After another five minutes, I gave up and just asked.
''Hey! What's going on?'' I asked.
They all turned to stare at me. ''Rose? When did you get here?'' Lissa asked.
''About five minutes ago.'' I replied.
''didn't even realise.'' Eddie said.
''Some guardian you're going to be Castile'' I replied jokingly, nudging his shoulder as he was sat on my right. He really should have noticed me considering I was sat right next to him. He grinned.
''Yeah, I should. Just excited I guess.'' He replied.
''About?'' I asked again, looking at them all annoyed.
''Oh! You weren't here last night. You went to bed. Alberta and Kirova announced that because of the attack we will all be going to a ski lodge over Christmas break. Families don't want to take their children out of the wards so a big ski lodge has said that we can all go there with our families as the academy isn't big enough to accommodate that many families.'' Mason replied, smiling at me. That was a surprise. He seemed like Mase again. I smiled back. I hoped this meant we would be ok.
''Oh.'' I said. I knew this was exciting for them. But for me, people died. We lost people in that attack. I knew. I was there. I fought alongside them. I saw one of my colleagues die, right in front of me. How could I be happy and excited to go on a holiday because that happened. Because somewhere, families were grieving over this Christmas period.
''What's wrong? Why aren't you more excited?'' Lissa asked, I could sense her excitement and disdain at my lack of excitement through the bond. For her, this would be her first proper Christmas since her family died. While we were on the run, she only had me. Now we had a little misfit family between the five of us.
''Because people died. People died and now we get to go on a holiday because of it. How is that right?'' I shouted. I don't know where this sudden anger had come from. But I was suddenly filled with a burning rage. I stood and walked away from the table. I needed to get out of here. I heard Lissa calling me through the bond, but I ignored her. It wasn't until the tell-tale sound of the PA system coming to life that I froze.
''Rosemarie Hathaway to Guardian Petrov's office.'' Came Alberta's voice. The cafeteria broke out in OHs, mainly because everyone presumed, I had done something wrong. For a second I thought through everything I'd done recently and couldn't come up with anything that would land me in trouble. Then the system crackled to life again. ''Guardian Belikov to Guardian Petrov's office.''
And that's when my heart and mind went into overdrive. Please god she couldn't know. After standing there, still for a few more seconds I made my feet move as I headed out of the building. I couldn't let people see my reaction to this. My sudden anger evaporated as quickly as it came on and panic set in. I stopped just outside and took a few calming breaths. She couldn't know.
Then the attack broke through my fears and I relaxed. She just needed our reports for the attacks. That's all it could be. I breathed a sigh of relief and started walking over to the administration building.
AN – Oh what's going to happen?..