Tori's grip was white knuckled to her steering wheel. Her eyes trained forward into the burgeoning darkness of the fading day. She let out a deep breath- it was the third time she had done this and each time she promised herself she would go inside after. As she drew out the final moments of the breath, her vision turned up towards the familiar sight in front of her car.

Hollywood Arts.

The building looked the same, for the most part. She could see banners strung in windows that proclaimed 'Class of 2022!' and 'Go Artie! You Got This!' Who Artie was and what they had, she didn't know, but she still stared at it longer than she would have normally.

The radio continued to play music, quietly, in the background:

"Woah, where does the time go?

Woah, where does the time go?

Woah, where does the time go?

Woah, where does the time go?"

Flashes of moments from her days here ran through her head once again- just like they had when she pulled in the parking lot three deep breaths ago.

Singing in Christmas outfits for Andre's class project, the play where Andre and Beck played her kids, that all day in detention. The memories could still draw the ghost of a smile on her lips. Leaning into the small burst of euphoria, she grabbed her purse, turned off the radio and got out of the car.

California winds rustled passed her and she drew her jacket closer. The blazer was professional, adult, but a bright blue that could be construed as something more fun. As she continued towards the school, she could see couples and smaller groups and individuals all making their way to the same destination. Most would be familiar faces. Some familiar names. She did hope that they put those name tags on them. Surely some people would have changed greatly since high school.

Up the steps, through the large arches that remained largely unchanged, she fell in step with her various other classmates. Head down, Tori wanted to keep to herself for now. Walking, unable to see everyone, it would make for uneven footing that she wasn't ready for. Just get to the Blackbox- it was where they were supposed to go first according to the invites and then they'd go to the Asphalt Cafe for the actual shindig. It was a nice evening to be outside, albeit a little windy. No rain or clouds though.

Passing through the first set of buildings, she didn't have to wait for her hopes to be real. There were banners welcoming them back. Blue and orange colors. It brought another smile to her face. Flashes of more memories. The giant cupcake. The bird scene- god, that had been a bit of torture, the hundreds of times in the janitor closet. It seemed like that place should have been locked more often. Or at all.

"Tori, hey Tori!" There was a person suddenly in front of her and she quickly had to focus. Breaking up her beeline for the reunion, Tori took a step back and took them in. Curly hair, thicker and pushed out of his face where a pair of circular glasses sat on thinner features. Sinjin. He had grown so much! While still a little gangly, he had filled in- his hair was shorter and maintained now. His expression was one of a curious smile. Like he was just absorbing the changes to her appearance like she had with his. "Hey. It's Sinjin. Remember?" One finger pointed to a name tag he adorned. So they did have them.

"Sinjin! Hi. Sorry- I didn't see you and I was lost in thought," She replied, pushing hair from her face from the soft winds and giving him a weak, but practiced smile. Just enough to be friendly.

"No worries on that," His smile lessened slightly and she could see more of his face in that neutral expression. More like how he had throughout their time together at HA. "I wasn't sure if that was even you from a distance. Didn't think you'd be swinging through."

Her heart sank. "What? No, of course I'd be here!" A little too eager. Relax. "It's our reunion. I loved going here."

Sinjin nodded along, "I can see that for sure. I more meant that I thought you'd be busy. I mean, I haven't seen you in the news lately lately, but a pop star has to take a break at some point-"

"Shh. No one is a pop star here." There was a beat. "Not for tonight at least. Everyone's done some amazing things since graduating. We shouldn't compare ourselves to one another."

"That's very true. I mean, look at your friends- ghostwriter for most number one hits in the last five years, a makeup artist slash a-list actress, a male model-" Tori was surprised at how much Sinjin knew about all of them. Had everyone else kept up with him and not her? How much did he know about her situation? Or Trina's?

"Lots of talent around these parts for sure," Tori said with a nod. "What about you? What are you up to these days?"

"Oh, I run a company that makes sets. Or find or alter sets. I'm in the set business is what I mean," He replied with a proud grin. "Been doing a bunch of movies and tv shows recently. Swamped all the time. I think people like how much extra we add to things. Even got the smells down."

Smells? While that seemed unnecessary to her, he did always 'have a thing for odors.' Plus she could see how that could help those who went full method. "That's awesome, Sinjin! Are you still in the area then?"

"Yep yep, me and the-" His face screwed up for a second as he reached into a pocket on his suit jacket. Pulling out a vibrating phone, he quickly picked it up, "Sorry babe. I'm over by the entrance by the Asphalt Cafe." A pause. "What? Okay, hold on, I'll meet you over there," Sinjin hung up and quickly stowed it away. "Sorry Tori, gotta meet up with the partner. See you inside? Catch up more in there with everyone."

Tori nodded, "Sounds good. No rush," She smiled as, with that, he took off in a random direction, his converse making noises against the cement. Couldn't completely remove the awkward air he had, but he sure had grown into himself.

Tori look around to see if anyone else was nearby. Most were making their way to the Blackbox and then to the Asphalt Cafe area. Her feet carried back to join the crowds once more.

In front of the entrance to the Blackbox Theater, she saw the line of the former students and joined in. There was the buzz of her phone and she pulled it from her pocket. She had a message from Cat:

[Be there in five! Save me a seat.]

Tori quickly typed out an affirmative on the other woman's wishes and stuffed it into the back of her jeans in the pocket. She looked forward over the shoulder of a taller man, dark hair spiky and unkempt in front of her. He didn't look familiar when he glanced behind. At least not immediately. It calmed her nerves.

As the group moved forward, more people joined behind her. Noises grew of people recognizing one another. It hadn't been that large of a class so it wasn't surprising that it was beginning already. If anything, it was more surprising it hadn't happened outside. Maybe it had and she just walked past it.

"Tori?" The sound of a voice pulled her from her thoughts. Her head shot up and saw the source. Standing like he had just stopped walking at seeing her, was Andre. He was dressed incredibly well. He was clad in dark blue slacks, a brown belt and matching shoes, a white button up, the top button undone. The sleeves were rolled up, bracelets on his wrists, necklaces gleaming from beneath the open button. It was all very dressed down and dressed up at the same time.

"Andre," Tori smiled a little and moved to hug him. The line moved behind to fill in the space, but she didn't care. He opened up his arms for her and the two of them shared a brief embrace. "You look very suave like this," She added as she pulled away slightly, pulling at the rolled up sleeve.

"Thanks. You know I had to make sure to show up, show up," He gave her a smile in return and pulled away fully. "You look good as well! I like that color on you."

"Oh you like?" She wiggled her shoulders slightly, her tone teasing.

"I do, I do," He laughed and she joined in. Leave it to Andre to make it so easy to speak to him after not really doing so for…god, had it been five years already?

"I'm surprised you had time for this. I figured you'd be writing another hit single for some artist I know or don't know," Tori said after the laughter had died.

"Nah. I mean, yes I do have those sorts of things to do, but I wouldn't miss this for the world. This is the place where we all started after all. Can't deny the good times that came with it," Andre turned and slapped the wall, like a proud parent.

"I can't deny that, you're right."

"Come on, let's get you back in line and me in line so we can get into the actual party," He gestured to the back of the line and she gave a smiling nod.

Tori had been dreading spending the entire night with a fake smile slapped on painted features. But Andre had wiped away those fears almost instantly. He and Cat had been the ones she had been in the most contact with over the years, especially recently, and if she had just them for the rest of the night, she wouldn't complain.

The two of them got into the back of the line and Andre used the chance to look around. "Place looks pretty much the same. Except for the small stuff. Like I think they repainted this wall a different shade of white."

"That seems…moot. Repaint it a different color of white? Why not just redo it the same color as before?"

There was a sound of hurried feet against the floor nearby. "That's what I was thinking. A little weird to me-"

"Andre!" It was almost a squeal as Cat jumped onto Andre with a ferocity. Andre's expression changed to surprise and then quickly horror at the weight of a full grown woman coming down onto him. Tori couldn't help but laugh fully at this, watching him trying to get ahold of himself as Cat kept herself wrapped around him.

"Cat! Hello to you too! Can I breathe now?" He asked in a faux strangled tone.

"I guess!" The chipper woman replied and jumped down. She was in low heels, a dress of a pale purple, a white cardigan over that and her naturally brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Although there was a new streak of familiar red easy to see on the left side of her head. Andre pulled himself together, coughing twice and then readjusting his shirt back into place. Despite all of that, he didn't look mad, just a little scared was all. "You look nice!"

"Thanks Cat," He turned to her now and gave an exasperated smile. That was fitting for her. Even after all these years. "Good to see you again. Glad to know you haven't changed much."

"Yeah-huh! I'm not a redhead anymore," She pointed out and then blanched. "Except for this streak."

"Did you add that recently?" Tori piped up, moving with the line. The other two fell in with her at this.

"Yep! Yesterday. Well, I bleached it a few days ago and then added the red so it'd be vibrant like it used to be," Cat moved back and forth on her heels- still so much energy in this one.

"I like it," Andre gave a nod. "What have you been up to? It's been a bit since I've heard from you."

"Oh so much stuff! Their remaking Night of the Living Dead, right? Zombies and all of that!" Cat mimed the walk of a zombie, groaning as much as she could before continuing with her story, "They hired me for a makeup artist. But like, I also tried out for the lead and got it. The departments had no idea until they started scheduling stuff."

"Wow. That's a lot on one set, Cat," Andre observed.

Cat shrugged, "I like having things to do! Keep me moving. Plus I won't ever need to do anything to myself for the makeup and I get to see my work up close and I will know for sure how good they look all day on set. It's a win-win-win."

Andre gave a face that looked like he was trying to find a hole somewhere in her logic, but quickly dropped it. "You know what you're doing little red. I've got faith in your talents," He patted her shoulder.

"Yay. Thanks. I am excited."

"Gonna write a hit single to be on the soundtrack?" Tori asked Andre, trying to keep the subject from switching to her. Although these two seemed like the least likely to pry into such matters.

Andre laughed. "Maybe. You know how that goes. I go where I'm wanted or needed."

"We could totally need you Andre!" Cat said with a jolt of energy, bouncing forward in line once again. They were very close to the front now. "I can ask the director!"

"Nah, nah- it's all good. If they need me, they will email me or whatever they wanna do to get to me. No reason to throw my name out there without context," He was always so relaxed about these things. There were times when they were teenagers where stress and anxiety could hit him like a truck, especially when proving how talented he was as a musician. But it seemed like those days were behind him. If only Tori was so lucky.

Before anything else in the conversation could immediately occur, the three of them reached the front and grabbed their name tags from the table in front of a woman that Tori only vaguely recognized. She gave each one a greeting, a healthy smile and sent them on their way. Tori was the first to speak up, "Did she look familiar to you guys?"

"Yeah actually," Andre answered. "I think she was with us in Sikowitz's class?"

"Oh. Wait. Was she one of the shruggers he talked about all the time?" Tori questioned further.

"I think so. She was pretty reactive there," He said and stuck his nametag on his shirt. Tori did the same to her blazer. Cat's was on her cardigan. Although turning to see it, Tori noticed that Cat had added a heart in the time it took for them to have that little exchange. She shook her head and walked with them towards the old cafe spot.

Moving closer, they could see the flashing lights. Balloons floated in the air above, tied with strings that were only visible with the passing of blues and purples and reds of the lighting. With each passing step, the noise of it all became louder. Music was playing, a song Tori didn't recognize but Andre seemed to, as he was humming along with it. Cat was excitedly walking a bit faster than the two of them, glancing behind and then forward. "It looks like they decorated for us!"

And indeed they did. When the three of them finally reached the threshold to the dining area of their highschool years they could see more banners, streamers, balloons all dancing in the wind. The colors were bright and vibrant and shined against the dark of the night sky that was swallowing the last struggling bits of dusk.

Looking over the banners, she could see pictures of their class strewn throughout small places. Yearbook photos and…oh no, were those Slap updates? Did they blow up their Slap updates and post them for all to see? Tori felt her eyes widen at the realization as she read one of her old ones: "Andre is driving us ALL to Wankos! Cat is sitting by me. She smells GOOD :)" God. What did that even mean?! Her hands pushed back all of her hair, hoping that maybe seeing it more clearly would make it seem like she hadn't written something like that when she was a teenager. But nope. It was still there.

"Can't believe we used to talk like that," Andre had apparently observed the same situation.

"I guess it shows…growth," Tori mused, trying to sound casual about the mortification of some of these. "My favorite new animal: MOOSE! Oh yeah. Ohhhh... yeahhhhh... :)" Why…?!

Two classmates walked past the three of them. Well, it was assumed. She didn't immediately recognize either. Their chatter cut short as they recognized who was in front of them. One with long dark hair, eyes with cobalt blue eyeshadow, glittering in the various lights, "Tori Vega returns, huh?" It was at this point she could feel Andre and Cat turn to the conversation. Tori kept her attention on the classmate, but could see her two friends out of the corners of her eyes. "Color me surprised. Really? Here? This is where you make your triumphant return?"

"Hey, whoa there," Andre interrupted, both hands going up, "What's going on?"

Her fierce stare didn't leave Tori. It was penetrating, like she could see everything she was trying to hide. "Plenty of celebrities come and go from Hollywood Arts, but not everyone has a catastrophic fall like her. Right?" Her friend was keeping an eye on the conversation, but had not yet added anything. There was a neutral expression on his features, a heavy brow, and a square jaw, his blonde hair tousled in a very modern way. "Don't worry. It's not out and about yet, just for those in the know-"

"Maybe we should go get some drinks huh?" Cat interrupted with an almost yelling level of tone.

Andre clamored to agree, "Sounds good, let's go," Pulling Tori away who had been locked into a stupor, the three of them hurried towards the bar. The other girl's words were rolling over in her brain. Was she…surprised? Nothing could ever be a secret, especially not when you had notoriety. But every news outlet had said the same story. Every person with whom she hadn't directly told had said nothing otherwise to her. This was all supposed to be a break for her. A chance to breathe and collect herself after that night months ago. How had this girl found out? Those in the know. Who was she? Why couldn't Tori remember?

It was only on this thought did she realize that her two friends were looking at her with such worry. "Oh! Sorry, guys. What…What's up?"

"We asked if you were okay," Andre had his hand on her shoulder. She hadn't even felt that. How far into her head had she been? "You seemed really taken out in that."

Cat's hand held a glass a water and pushed it closer, "You need something stronger?"

"What? Oh, no, no, no- thank you guys. No, water is fine," She took the glass and drank down two mouthfuls. "Thank you. Both of you. Really."

"No reason to thank us!" Cat replied with her usual demeanor shifting back into place. "It's what friends are for, right?"

Friends. Right. She had hardly been that good of a friend in the last few years. Over the course of everything, she had told herself it was because of how little time she had. Tours. Appearances. Interviews. Who had the time for anything else? But there was something more. Ego at first, but that wasn't it. No, it was fear. Fear for what the others would think of her. And then everything all but fell apart and the fear grew more. An insatiable beast that hunkered down in the corner of her mind and grew; it was taking up more and more space each day and it was perpetually hungry.

"Think nothing of it," Andre added with a weak smile, his own drink being set down onto the bar which he grabbed and took a small sip of. "Some people just have no sense of boundaries." A pause. "What do you think we could get this DJ to play? Also I'm surprised they went with a DJ considering all of the talent they have here."

"Maybe it's because there's too much talent?" Cat asked, looking over at the makeshift stage they had pulled out. Makeshift wasn't a perfect word. It looked like it belonged right there. But Tori could recognize the wheels and the various harnesses Hollywood Arts used for these temporary places. The stage certainly looked on the newer side- it was a bit bigger than the one they had, but less lights. At least on the front. "Like it would be a fight about who would be performing what, so they wanted to keep it simple and low key?"

Andre raised both eyebrows and then nodded, "Sound logic."

They weren't prying into what all of that was about? Tori hadn't spoken besides one little reassurance and the two of them had just moved on. Her hand grasped the glass a little tighter and took another long mouthful. It made it so much worse. There they were, they were being patient with her and keeping her comfortable and she couldn't even send them a few texts or calls from the road? Hell, even if they had been busy, the thought would have counted. She wasn't always like this and she was kicking herself for becoming this way. But it was easier to do all of this than confront the demons.

The music from the DJ wormed its way into her head.

"And I know sometimes I seem so dramatic

But the darkest shadow of the city streets have stained my soul

And when I look at myself in the mirror

What is it I see? Because it isn't me

Oh no, I don't recognize myself anymore

Oh no, I don't recognize myself anymore"

‐--
First chapter of first fanfic done! I apologize for anything too weird or such. Work was inspired by the play Dog Sees God [just, you know, minus all the homophobia]. Also I know that Sinjin is technically in Trina's year according to an episode, but I thought it'd make for easier stuff to just age him down one year.)
Songs are: "Where Did the Time Go?"
"Baby of the Year" by Red City Radio