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Year 1 Month 12 [Caitlin]

"Ah, I'm so glad finals are over!" She exclaimed as she settled on the love seat of the living room. "And I get two weeks of vacation from work," she happily bit into a celebratory cranberry orange muffin.

Barry wasn't too happy that she was eating in the living room. There was a dining table for that. However, after seeing the glee in her face for the little things in life, he figured he could let this one slide.

"Any plans for this vacation you haven't stopped talking about?"

She shook her head, "Not really," save for one very important matter she needed to take care of. "Maybe rest, do some spring cleaning."

"It's winter," Barry pitched in.

"Visit Marcos," she completely ignored him, "either volunteer at the library, or go and check on the guys every now and then."

The engineering team was technically on the clock, but working different rotations. Since Caitlin had covered all the holidays and made their job so much easier, they all agreed to give her the gift of two weeks off after finals.

"And you say I'm the workaholic," he smirked.

She laughed it off, "It just feels strange. I don't think I've had this much time off in the last ten years," she said in awe.

Barry remained silent but looked at her profile. She seemed serene, but something was lurking behind those hazel orbs. What could it be?

"How come?" He asked, concealing his evident curiosity.

She shrugged, "I guess, I just…" she stopped herself and then continued with a forced smile, "I just like to stay busy."

She was hiding something. He would figure out what it was sooner or later.

"What about you? Any plans for your long overdue vacation?" She teased, effectively changing the subject.

"Who said I was taking any?"

"Come on! At least a week?"

He gave her a teasing look, "Why? Do you want us to spend time together?"

She cleared her throat and turned away. Would that be so wrong? She wondered. "I just think you need to rest."

"I may be taking a few days off," he said as an afterthought and looked out the window at the falling snow.

Suddenly, he felt something hit his head from behind, "Hey what was that for!?"

She continued eating her muffin and looked away, humming a song innocently.

"You're so childish," Barry shook his head.

Caitlin laughed, until she felt a cushion hit her face, "Hey! What about being childish!"

Barry shrugged.

"You're going to pay for that Allen!" She got up from the loveseat and ran in his direction.

"Doubt you're fast enough, Snowpoke," he teased and jumped from the couch in the opposite direction.

"How dare you," she said in between smiles.

They were avoiding each other and running around the sofa like two playful teenagers. Until an idea occurred to Caitlin. She obviously couldn't outrun the guy, but to shorten the distance she could jump to him. It could go one of two ways. She could either win like a queen, or fail miserably in the process.

She would take her chances.

As they continued in the back and forth she tricked him into thinking she was going to the right and instead went to the left. For a brief moment they were right in front of each other and Caitlin jumped at him.

Barry hadn't seen it coming, but instead of moving to the side his first instinct was to open his arms to conceal the woman from harm. He was glad for his quick reflexes, because he was able to miss hitting his head on the center table and only felt his shoulder graze the wood.

A loud thud reverberated around the living room, and Caitlin landed right on top of Barry who was hugging her tightly. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. Had she hurt him? How could she be so foolish? This had been the stupidest idea that had ever occurred to her. She didn't dare to move for the longest time out of fear of facing Barry. No wonder he told her she was childish. At times like this she was worse than a child.

"Are you okay?" he said calmly.

She didn't respond.

After a while he grew concerned and slowly lifted them both into a seating position, "You're not hurt are you?" He asked as he slowly pulled away just enough to see her eyes glistening with unshed tears, "Cait, are you hurt?" he was getting alarmed by the second.

She shook her head, "I'm not hurt," she said softly, biting hard into her lower lip and looking down in shame. "I just feel so stupid, I didn't think that through and you could have gotten seriously injured."

"But I'm not," he said reassuringly.

"I probably could have killed you," she realized in panic. What if he had hurt his head and bled to death? All the different scenarios started playing in her head and she couldn't bear the thought of it. How could an action so small, have such life changing implications? What would she tell Dr. Allen!?

Barry looked at her and could already see all the crazy ideas running through her head. She was that transparent sometimes. He slowly raised his left hand to place a strand of auburn locks behind Caitlin's ear. He let his hand linger on her cheek, and Caitlin slowly turned to look at him. Pulled away from her dark thoughts by his warm hand.

"I'm fine," he smiled at her.

Caitlin could only respond to his heart warming smile with a grateful one, "I'm sorry," she said just above a whisper.

"It's no big deal," he shrugged it off, but felt a flash of pain go through him and he winced.

"Oh my God! You are hurt!" She stood up quickly and helped Barry up, careful of not touching or pulling at his right shoulder that seemed to be injured. "I'm so sorry Barry, I didn't think it would get this out of hand."

"Caitlin, it's fine," he rested his left arm around her shoulder as she helped him to his room. The woman was overreacting, but he didn't have the heart to push her away.

"No Barry, it's not fine," she said seriously as she opened the door and led him to his bed. "You're not fine."

"I will be if you stop overreacting," he joked.

She crossed her arms around her chest, "I'm not overreacting Bartholemew," she said with her eyebrows knitted, "This shouldn't have happened but there goes dumb childish Caitlin, striking again."

"Hey, it's alright," he didn't realize this was so upsetting to her, "the bruising will probably not be visible, and I should be as good as new in a few days."

She sat by him and let out a sigh, "Thank you for putting up with me," her hair which had been up in a messy bun that evening was now flowing wildly around her face.

"I'm a saint," he said to her with a teasing smile.

Caitlin pushed him lightly in the shoulder.

"Ow," he said.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry," she said in panic.

Barry laughed, she was such an easy prey. "It's actually the other shoulder that's injured."

"Barry!"

{-}

The next morning, Caitlin woke up extra early to get Barry some breakfast, and called Jessie to let her know that he would be working from home that day. Whether Barry wanted to or not. She looked around the house and fixed everything that was out of place after yesterday's mess.

She shook her head. Time to grow up Caitlin.

Barry woke up and was already suited and ready to go to work. As soon as he stepped out of his room, he saw Caitlin wrapping up her cleaning in the living room.

"You're up early."

She turned quickly to see him, "Good morning to you too," she raised a non approving eyebrow, "why are you dressed?"

He smirked, "Are you saying I shouldn't be?"

"Of course not," she agreed, and walked briskly to him pulling gently at his jacket. "You shouldn't be dressed."

Barry's smirk fell and he started to feel warm.

"You should be back in your room resting," she successfully took off his jacket. "And look at this tie."

Was she undressing him?

But more importantly, why didn't he mind...Focus Barry! Focus!

"Barry, can you please get back to bed?" she said with a sweet smile.

He was about to say yes, until the familiar ringtone of his cellphone came through. "Hello," he picked it up quickly, and shifted the device from his right hand to the left.

"You're dead, you're deadly ill, or Caitlin's sick, which is it?" he heard Cisco's panicked voice.

The doctor frowned, "What are you talking about?

"Barry, you not coming to work is like a national emergency. I'm already scratching option one off, since you answered the phone," Cisco continued, "so which is it?"

"Wait, who said I wasn't going to work?" Barry asked confused.

Cisco ignored him, "You sound pretty fine to me," he theorized, "is Caitlin sick!? What is it? Is she ok?"

"You're not making any sense," then he took a good look at Caitlin's guilty face. "You know what, I'll call you back later," he hung up the phone, cutting off whatever Cisco was going to say.

"Anything you want to explain?"

"Can you work from home today?" she shrugged innocently.

"I don't —"

"Please," she pressed on, "we'll compromise, I'll even be your assistant, and make sure you are as effective at home as you would have been at work."

He hesitated for a moment. It wasn't every day that he would miss work. In fact, he never did. Yet, somehow, he figured it wouldn't be so bad to work from home today. Just this one time.

No. Caitlin's big brown pleading eyes had nothing to do with that decision.

{-}

It had been three days since his injury and Barry was almost as good as new. He had compromised with Caitlin working the first two days at home, but he had some meetings he couldn't miss on the third day. Regardless he took the opportunity to try to figure out what she was hiding.

He hadn't known her for almost a year without picking up a few things. As cheerful as Caitlin appeared to be, everything seemed a bit forced, despite her best efforts. He had caught her a few times looking wistful and downcast.

"Sir, here's the presentation for the board," Jessie handed the paperwork, but Barry was too deep in thought to notice her. "Sir?" she called again.

"What was that again?" He said after he was pulled away from his thoughts.

"The presentation for the board. I added some comparative data from the last five years."

He nodded in approval, "Excellent work. Thank you."

A tear almost escaped her, she was actually praised.

Barry took the documents and was flipping through them but couldn't concentrate like he should.

What could it possibly be?

He was briefly tempted to ask Cisco for assistance, but this was something he wanted to discover on his own, and he had an idea of where to start. He looked at his watch, it was almost time for the presentation to the board and then he would be done with his urgent projects of the day.

He dialed his PA, "Jessie, I'll be sending you my agenda for tomorrow and next week,"

"Yes sir," she began pulling up the emails of the different department units, preparing for the upcoming meetings. Only to receive Barry's email:

I'll be off starting tomorrow, and will return on the third.

She almost fainted right then and there. Never, NEVER, had her boss taken more than three days off in a row. Now he would be off for over a week. Was a crisis coming?

Then a sneaky smile came upon her and she switched on to her romantic fantasies. She could picture it in 8K resolution. Her boss coming home from work, the heavy snow falling, Caitlin in the living room reading, the lights go out...there's a few bumps in the dark…

"...babe!" He heard Wally's voice calling. "Come on, it's lunch time."

"Oh Wally, I have so many questions for you," she grabbed her purse and jumped from her desk, "but first, is Caitlin working this week?"

Wally gave her a strange look, "No, she's off this week and the next."

A cheshire grin filled Jessie's face.

Let the fantasies continue.

{-}

After his presentation, Barry had received a text message from Caitlin that read:

I'll be home late. I'm fine, don't worry.

Against his better judgment and Caitlin's advise, a tiny part of him began to worry. He wrapped things up at his office and left to pay a visit to a little frenemy.

"Dr. Allen, what a surprise," Dr. Stewart said next to him. Both men were by the door of little Marcos' room.

"Am I imposing?"

The older doctor shook his head, "Not at all, I'm sure our little guy will be happy to see a friend,"

The CEO highly doubted the boy considered him a friend. Yet they probably weren't enemies anymore. Maybe. The last time he saw him he wasn't greeted with a black eye, so that was progress enough.

"Dr. Stewie!" The boy greeted excitedly from his bed.

"Hi there," the doctor knelt down and hugged the boy with joy. It didn't go past Barry's keen eyes. Dr. Steward was too attached to the boy. Would that lead to heartbreak? The boy's condition wasn't the greatest, but there had been improvements.

"Barry," the boy said disinterested.

"Marcos," Barry said politely, almost as if he was speaking in front of the board again.

"Where's Caity?" the boy asked.

Barry knelt down, glad the boy didn't beat around the bush and saved him the trouble. "I was hoping you could tell me."

The boy looked from the CEO to the kind doctor and then back at his nemesis, "I dunno."

Barry stood up and held back a disappointed sigh.

"We actually haven't seen her for a couple of days," Dr. Stewart confirmed.

"I see,"

"It might be that time of year," the doctor mused out loud.

Barry looked at him, "What time of year exactly?"

"Why don't you go play with your toys buddy?" the doctor suggested kindly to the boy. "I'll join you in a bit."

The boy gave Barry one last glare before going to his toybox.

"Last winter she also stopped coming for a few days," the doctor continued, "I'm not quite sure of the details, Caitlin doesn't like to show her vulnerability. Much less in front of him," they both looked at the boy playing with his dinosaurs. "But I think it's something related to her family."

Then it dawned on Barry. Of course!

He had been so foolish. How did he not think of that?

"Thank you Dr. Stewart."

The doctor held his hand up, "Please call me John."

"Thank you John."

{-}

He had been waiting at home for a few hours and still hadn't heard from her. It was dark and it was snowing. Was she warm? Was she safe? Was she —

The doorbell rang and he walked quickly towards the door.

"Cai—"

The person on the other side gave him an apologetic smile, "Not quite neighbor."

The blonde woman continued quickly, "Uhm, I was driving home and I think I saw your wife, at the Grand Park. I mean it's snowing and everything, I was going to pick her up," she said a mile a minute, "we've talked a few times, but then I saw your car and figured I would —"

Barry stopped listening, grabbed his coat, rushing out the door as if his life depended on it.

Later he would question why he didn't just drive to the park instead of running. Later he would question that urgency from his legs to go faster and faster. Later he would wonder why there was this pain compressing his heart with worry. Later he would wonder why he was acting so out of character when it came to that woman.

There would be time for that later. Now he just needed to find her.

The park was a few blocks away so getting there, even with the heavy snow, only took minutes. Yet, it felt like a lifetime.

He stopped on his tracks when he saw a figure seated by the bench with a light coat of snow. He walked towards her, but as he got closer his steps slowed down.

"Cait," he said softly.

The woman in question looked up, but her eyes were out of focus and away.

"It's cold," he said as he walked a few tentative steps.

She blinked a few times and realized it was him talking to her, "Barry?"

He got close enough to remove her now damp coat and he took off his to place it on her, "Let's go home Cait," he offered her his hand.

"You shouldn't be here," she said gently, but still took his hand without question and allowed herself to be guided by him.

"Neither should you," Not alone.

They both walked back home in silence. Barry's concern for her was stronger than the cold his body was feeling. Caitlin's feelings had been consuming her slowly, just like the falling snow was enveloping her earlier. However, Barry's warm hand was melting that snow away.

When they arrived home. Barry sat Caitlin in the living room and left to the kitchen to prepare her a hot tea. When he returned and set their teas on the table he limited himself to look at Caitlin. There was some sadness there, but there was also something else. Her eyes were emanating a different feeling than the sadness and guilt he saw when the little girl had passed.

Caitlin took the tea, gave it a sip and let out a sigh. "I've been a hypocrite," she confessed.

The man didn't say anything. It wasn't time, not yet.

"I was so headstrong in getting you to confront your feelings," she began. "I even told you about how my dad died," another sip, "and the truth is, I...I...there are days where I feel so angry."

Anger. He could understand the feeling all too well.

"At least you were noble enough to actually feel angry at yourself."

He wasn't so sure about being noble. In fact, that was very far from the truth.

"The truth is that as much as I love my dad, loved him while he lived," she paused, "I'm angry at him," she looked up at Barry, "upset because he left me. The same way mom did...There are days where I wonder if he truly cared about me. Because if he did, why did he kill himself slowly?"

That would imply that his lifestyle was the cause of his advanced Cirrhosis.

"That made me wonder if he cared about me at all," she let out an exasperated sigh, "I was the one so insistent on him trying all of these treatments, making sure he took his medication, and all of these different things, to make him stay longer…"

She didn't realize she was crying, "to make him stay with me."

Both of their situations when it came to their losses were so different. Barry didn't have the opportunity to develop those feelings she was so vehemently expressing. He was sure that he probably would have if he had been with his mom throughout her whole journey. The grass wasn't always greener on the other side he realized.

"Was I not good enough? Was I not worth fighting for?" She wondered out loud.

Barry took a step and knelt down in front of her, placing a comforting hand on her knee, "Don't think that Cait."

She cried even harder, "There's something wrong with me Barry."

He shook his head, "Of course not," he lifted his hand to brush some tears away, "you're a wonderful person. You're kind, caring, smart, funny. Anyone would be fortunate to have you in their life."

Her snort fused with her tears, clearly not believing a word he said.

"I know I am," he confessed without reservations.

"I'm a great employee," she teased in between tears. She didn't like to show her vulnerability in front of others, but for reasons she didn't understand, it was so easy to do in front of him.

He smiled, "Very funny."

"I usually am."

She was deflecting, he knew the tactic, "Cait, your father made his choices, but I have no doubt in my mind that he loved you," he rubbed a few mischievous tears away and took her face in his hands, "he cared about you, and you made his life better every single day."

Her hazel eyes clashed intensely with his green, wanting so desperately to believe him.

"You've made my life better and brighter every day too," he smiled at her.

Her eyes opened wider in surprise.

"I'm so fortunate to have met you and have you here with me."

She bit on her lower lip, to keep a sob from escaping.

"To me you are more than enough."

She threw herself at him and hugged him tightly, while letting out all the emotions she'd been containing for the last several years.

He returned her hug with the same force and whispered to her.

"To me you're worth fighting for."

{x}

And that's year 1 my friends! Year 1 was dedicated to our two main characters going on a learning and healing journey. Year 2 has some...mystery, action, and past loves in there. Plus a trope I didn't WANT to include but it just weaseled its way in [don't worry, that doesn't happen until late in the year].

Thank you for your support and reviews, special shoutout to Shyesplease & Rosewelllostcause.